Total Solution Restart 29/03/2015 Exante journey to 9st3 for life!

[Lara1986]

Hi Lara, Thank you for posting this - this is VERY interesting and I am going to look up that book. I struggle with compulsive binge eating myself (wow - never said that before!!) and have never found any evidence of ANYONE ELSE experiencing the same thing?! Fascinating to read your post about being present and not reinforcing the story by dwelling on it. Thanks again. A

Oh thanks so much for sharing. Of course I can relate to that. I think the starting point is to appreciate the here and now and not dwell on what has passed. If we continually dwell on the past and tell ourselves we are binge eaters that's exactly what we will be. I hope you like the book. There's quite a few more I've been reading and found interesting too but that one is the best to me. Xxxxxxx I have a big smile as I read this.

 

[Kira]

Lara that's agreat post to read and hope an epiphany as I know the bingeing has been hard to break. As you know I relate to that too. All the best and look forward to hearing from you.

 

[alicethecamel]

Oh thanks so much for sharing. Of course I can relate to that. I think the starting point is to appreciate the here and now and not dwell on what has passed. If we continually dwell on the past and tell ourselves we are binge eaters that's exactly what we will be. I hope you like the book. There's quite a few more I've been reading and found interesting too but that one is the best to me. Xxxxxxx I have a big smile as I read this.

Thank you very much for this Lara I am actually going to a group this evening where I think this is the focus. I'll report back if there's anything worth sharing!! A

 

[easyasabc]

Hi Lara-I'm also a 14 aiming for a 10! Well think I'm a 14 I'm still wearing maternity pants and don't stray out of size 14 jogging bottoms. Heard so many good things and seen results from this diet on folk-and they're keeping it off! Also think it's budget friendly with all the offers! Good luck and we will be shopping for size 12 jeans in no time!!


Sent from my iPad using MiniMins.com

 

[yoyoagogo]

How you doing hon? X

 

[jean_wilson]

Hope your doing ok . It sounds like the book and group will help . You look brilliant in your pics but I worry that your really hard on yourself try be kinder take care and like you say maybe posting not helping so just do what's best for you thanks for sharing I can relate

 

[Lara1986]

Thank you very much for this Lara I am actually going to a group this evening where I think this is the focus. I'll report back if there's anything worth sharing!! A

how was the group was it any good?

 

[Lara1986]

Well I started doing really well and things were really starting to 'click', and I genuinely started to accept myself and this actually led to a desire to not starve, diet or binge. I then went out a lot from new years eve for 5 days. I feel like (although I had fun) it did disrupt:
- my focus on inner peace rather than external hapiness from things like alcohol and partying
- naturally you become more judgmental when thrown into that situation, particularly because the clubs we were going to were very image focused. I actually had one guy who I dont even remember come up to me and say we met before and that I gained weight since. In addition I has two of my friends wearing little crop tops that showed their bellys and all the automatic thoughts come flooding in.

After that I vowed to drop some more weight and there was actually a shift I noticed where I felt far more panicky and unsure. And I returned to bingeing. Badly bingeing. And the more you binge the more awful you feel... and the more I wanted to mute my mind and my thoughts and frustrations.

I am going on my month away on Monday night and I am again so angry with myself that I am going and I am unhappy with my weight. Clothes are hard to wear. Getting ready for work is horrible. I am so so angry.

BUT i have to recognise that by focusing on food and weight and trying to change it all, I did change it but for the worst. I was feeling so much better when I was focusing on being at peace and I really believe if you are judgemental to others you will be even more judgemental to yourself so I must must must work at these things. right now it got so extreme that I just want to be taken away from food. It feels like it is ruling me right now. I am meant to do a weekend out as I wont see my friends for ages... I told one of them I gained so much weight (she last saw me on NYE and I really did gain weight that quick because of bingeing), she said 'everyone gains a bit in winter' I just left it there, it is not her fault but I realised they do not understand my crazy behaviour. I eat so much when I binge. Like I could not even list it all.

Onto new beginnings..... I will be reading more of these books when I am away. And I downloaded some meditation guides, I think I need to do that regularly to become calmer inside, and love more not attack (starting with myself).

I hope you are all well. I will have a catch up around the site now ;-) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[poppyp84]

It's so difficult sometimes isn't it, what we think of ourselves and how happy we are with our weight and body is just as important as losing weight. Maybe it's best to concentrate on becoming comfortable and happy in your body and your well being than losing the weight and then maybe the weightloss will follow. A month away sounds so exciting, I hope you have a fabulous time, and what a great way to take some time for yourself to reflect and recharge. X

 

[Kira]

Hi Lara I'm sorry it's been a difficult start to the year but I wish you well on your trip away and I hope you come back relaxed and positive. Be kind to yourself and remember you are allowed to feel those emotions and you can continue to work at breaking that binge cycle. X

 

[serialslimmer]

Lara, I'm so sad to read of your struggles and your emotional pain. I've been there many times. One thing I did a decade ago to lose 11st was to cut out sugar. I gave up sugar and white flour and my cravings calmed to a point where I barely noticed them. This might sound drastic but it is sugar in all its forms that is triggering your desperate food binges. You can still have sweet things just not sweetened with sugar. Please try a week of low-carb eating - cutting out sugar completely. I was stunned at the beneficial effect this had on my well-being and on my attitude to food.

A few years ago several painful challenges - grief over lost loved ones, and plenty more besides - triggered my cravings. I sought refuge in food in the same way that had never ever worked before, and I regained. Now I am sugar-free again and losing weight. Blessings x

 

[yoyoagogo]

Oh Lara I'm sorry you're struggling - a huge hug from me xx

 

[Lara1986]

Hello all. Thank you for your words I just read them all now and re read my last post. I can honestly say I feel very differently from my last post. There was a significant moment when I was on the beach wearing a bikini with shorts and to shirt on top, longing to go into the sea but knowing that, like I did on my last two holidays, I should sit it out as I do not have the bikini body I want. I remembered back to some old home movies I saw of me about two months ago now. It was a dance competition and it came to my turn and I got too scared and insecure to play. And then I was in the background for ages sad and hiding. I asked myself what I would say to that little girl, and it was "go for it! Don't worry about anyone but yourself and you can smile and be happy whenever you want to be. Go for it you'll look back and regret it!" I realised that if I could have filmed the very moment I was in on the beautiful Thai beach, I would say the same thing. So I held my head high and I walked info the glorious sea!!



Over the course of the month I have met various people. I have had good and bad moments. And there's been times I felt lovely rejected unworthy and insecure but rather than jump to further automatic negative thought and negative behaviours I tried to observe my thought and check the validity of them. It helps a lot. For example one night I felt very fat and felt I didn't want to go out. I then asked myself ok regardless of how you feel are you still pretty? I answered: Yes I am. Be grateful. I asked, are you still healthy? Yes. Can you still have fun? Yes I had fun nights the previous nights and I could have not possible been a significantly different weight even if feel it. Do people still like you? Yes a lot of people have spoken to me. Do other people care about your weight? Probably not and if they do who cares. I soon talked myself into a positive mind frame and went out and partied.
Its been good to be distracted from food. I fly home in less than 24 hours and am currently laying by the pool in a little bikini! Having a tan always makes me feel prettier!!

There were about three binges while away. Not majorly bad ones but still binges. In truth I think each time I wanted to binge. But I did reduce food intake for the rest of the day after them. One day was when I was feeling very left out of a group and insecure. Once was when I was exhausted and there was unlimited free breakfast and I wanted comforting. And one time I was just bored so are a whole box of ritz- I could have gone and done something but I was exhausted. Anyway overall I think I lost weight whilst away.
Well there's my updates! Xxxxxx

 

[yoyoagogo]

Really pleased to hear that you are managing to see the positives and enjoy every second you should be proud of yourself

 

[Bananas]

Hi Lara

We used to chat on here back in the day and I have sadly found myself back in need of Minis. Sorry to hear of all your struggles, I totally get it! I think I have ballooned up to about 11st (far too scared to weight myself officially as I think it will send me into a mad depression) and long for the days I was moaning about being over the 9st7 mark!!!
I need to refocus, get back on Slim and Save and get this weight off. Food is such a comfort to me though that I dont know what I'll do with myself without my favourite treats.
Hope you are well
B

 

[Lara1986]

Hi Lara We used to chat on here back in the day and I have sadly found myself back in need of Minis. Sorry to hear of all your struggles, I totally get it! I think I have ballooned up to about 11st (far too scared to weight myself officially as I think it will send me into a mad depression) and long for the days I was moaning about being over the 9st7 mark!!! I need to refocus, get back on Slim and Save and get this weight off. Food is such a comfort to me though that I dont know what I'll do with myself without my favourite treats. Hope you are well B

Hello yes I remember. I totally know how you feel. Maybe it's best two weigh in after a week or so back on track. I waited two weeks to weigh in when I last did a vlcd.

I am so embarrassed to be back and bingeing again. Things were good but my binges over took and every day became my last day before I diet which just made me eat like crazy. I did it again today :-( I have to get fit ASAP I'm doing an endurance race in just over two months. And more than that I feel awful doing what I'm doing. I hate how I have lost control and motivation.

Good news is I have lots of vlcd packs and I want to use them and exercise to get away from food again - and this time read more around mindfulness which is what was really helping me about 2 months ago. Obviously going away for a month helped loads too as I was out f my normal routine. Being back home I find it so so hard not to binge. I'm so upset about it and that just makes it worse. I think I need to work from home less too as those are the times im alone with food and I eat like crazy.

So frustrated with myself. I want to enjoy my life arghhhhh. Everything is great except this food issue.

I have work drinks tomorrow so will not eat I'll just drink but from Friday I will vlcd and exercise. On days I want to go out and drink I will do I'll just eat more and exercise or just have one or two drinks.


Ok typing out that plan feels better.


I'm going to do a 3 week plan as a step 1. The plan is:
Exercise 4-5 hours per week (running or bootcamp classes)
Food: exante food packs, protein shakes, low carb, protein, alcohol when have to - no more than once a week.

Tomorrow is day 1 of 21. After 21 days I will weigh in and I hope to be about 9st7 but that's probably too wishful. I can do this I have lost my self belief I have to do this. Anyone who wants to join me please do. Sorry I've been AWOL :-(

 

[Lara1986]

I want this to be the last day I wake up full up and sickly from a binge the day before. My poor body! It's making me miserable and exhausted. No more! Excited to get back on track. I know tho time next week I'll be miles better. Day 1-7 plan:

Daily 3-4 exante packs

Day 1 Thursday - work drinks - have a couple of spirit and diet mixer drinks only. Have an exante pack when home.
Day 2 Friday - run 1 hour
Day 3 Saturday - class 1.5 hours / try not to go out in evening but if do limit alcohol as much as possible
Day 4 Sunday - run 30m
*ketosis?*
Day 5 Monday - class 1 hour
Day 6 Tuesday - class 1 hour
Day 7 wednesday - out for a meal - low carb high protein option
Total exercise: 5 hours

Looking at this list if I am honest I feel both terrified and hopeful. I have to do it. I have to beeline I can do it.

 

[CrazyLadyA]

Good to have u back hun!

I restarted in March too.. Been a bit up and down but in the swing now

Hope u have a good first day x

 

[Lara1986]

Good to have u back hun! I restarted in March too.. Been a bit up and down but in the swing now Hope u have a good first day x

Thanks

Hopefully we will encourage eachother

I took some before pics this morning. I'm not like how I was before I started in September/October so all is not lost. But will use them to measure progress again over next few weeks

 

[yoyoagogo]

Good luck! You can do this I'm with you honey xx