I am a bit heartbroken, I still keep coming in the house, standing there listening, then saying 'Bebe' to see if I get a welcome back, but it doesn't happen. Also last night I was very tired (I always am, might be diabetic type 2 but will go to doctor when I loose a few stone) and I kept seeing a black shape out of the corner of my eye. I kept turning suddenly thinking it was Bebe, but there was nothing there. Then I thought maybe Bebe had died that day or something and was coming to say goodbye, its not like I've never been visited by a human ghost after all (it was once, after my aunt died years back, didn't see her but she made her presence known). So almost cried last night, but got it together very quickly. I guess last night it also struck me I'd never see him again.
I have had a look around but I just know if he could get back to me he would of done by now. He is not the sort to be away from me for more than half a day, let along a week.
Anyway, as bad as that all sounds, I am doing well, I can hide it well, speaking to me you'd almost think 'the so and so doesn't even care' and maybe I like to give off that impression to people. I've been through much worse in life and faced death before so I guess I do have a hardfaced attitude of 'have a five minute depression then pick yourself right up and get on with life'.
So that recipe. Well, usually I buy some cheap liver and kidney. The packed stuff from a supermarket. Ox is best, then lamb and then pork. I have to say though, I do mix and match a bit if I can't get both of the same animal. Sounds odd but when cocked they all taste pretty much the same. Assume its lamb for now, chop it all up into thumb sized pieces and place into a frying pan sprayed with 1 cal oil spray (about 6 sprays). I take a handful of frozen chopped onions from the freezer and through in the hot pan. Take a small handful of chopped frozen coriander and through in as well. I plan on getting some more tupperwear soon to label and put in my freezer. Having chopped and frozen tomatoes, lemons, lime, onions, potatoes, and herbs is really conveniant and has changed the way I cook food now. Its great because it means I'm much more likely to cook something instead of eating badly.
I forgot to add that sometimes its a good idea to buy an ox or lamb heart and dice it. With the Ox I have to say that I didn't feel like I was eating heart, it was just like steak chunks when the meal was served. I don't think I would try pork heart though, might give it a go one day. Diced ox heart goes great with kidney and liver.
Wait until the meat is 80 per cent cooked. Cooking liver and kidney for too long makes it really tough, too short and nobody wants to eat uncooked meat.
Have the heat just above medium and add a touch of salt and shake over a level table spoon of beef gravy. I generally add some mild chilli powder, say, a table spoon. I did add some really hot chilli sauce once but it takes away from the other flavours. I generally add a tiny tiny sprinkle of the following; ginger, nutmeg and paprika. Please just a tiny bit of each otherwise it will totally overpower the flavour.
I sprinkle mixed herbs over generously - the Swartz kind.
I mix this all up for a while and then put it on the lowest heat and put a saucepan lid over the frying pan to let it simmer. Then I just keep coming back to it every 5 or 10 mins to test the meat and sauce.
I forgot to say that if you find when frying that there is a danger of food burning, then with this recipe have a cup of water standing by, last night I had to add 1/4 small cup of water to add to the sauce. Other times I don't really have to add water, its all about just getting in there really. I don't have any at the minute, but if I had black pepper I would ground some in there. I'm sure if my friend was staying with me at the minute he'd grind in some carroway seeds lol.
You can always stick one potato in the microwave when you first stick the meat in the pan. 5 or so mins later take it out and slice it or dice it and throw it in. It thickens sauce nicely.
Last night I decided to add about 2 table spoons of baked beans that were in the fridge and needed to be used. Also a small handful of sweetcorn. It was ok but I think I prefer it without the hot sauce, sweetcorn and baked beans.
Generally you will end up making enough for 2-4 meals depending on how big your meals are I guess. Since we're all on the large side its probably safe to say it makes 2 meals. I don't eat it with pasta or rice because carbs are the devil and I have no willpower where bread, potatoes, rice and pasta are concerned.
I think its good advice to have lots of tupperwear so you can portion things out and freeze them for another day. Firstly you don't eat a massive portion in one night, and secondly you are more likely to come straight home and avoid takeaways after work because you know you have a selection of frozen food waiting for you that is nicer than a ready meal.
I think I thought of everything, sorry if I forgot lol.
R
P.S. sorry if that was all a bit long winded, also, don't worry about me sitting her typing for hours, I can type really fast and it all took 5 mins lol
