Rude people at SW!

[chantsy86]

I had my first week last week and as I got on the scales I heard a lot of people saying I shouldn't be there. I thought this was so rude especially that they said it loud enough I could hear! I know I'm not fat or overweight - I was 9 stone 10, but I have body image issues and don't feel confident and never have done since I had an operation and piled on the pounds!

I just feel a little upset that people don't put themselves in other peoples shoes.

What do you guys think?

I know how you feel a couple of years ago when I was at weight watchers I had same issue there I onky needed to lose 10lb and was only a size 10 but I could feel my clothes getting a little tight so thought I would try n lose them few pounds I didn't last long there n put another half a stone on n then when I had a baby I up 4stone so after I had baby I was a size 16 I no id just had a baby but it all crept on me before so I was a sone n a half heavier than I wanted to be before I had baby so prob would have had half as much weight to lose now if you feel you need to lose a few pound go for it it's how you feel. The group I'm in the consultant is really good and will explain that if someone only has a few pound to lose so people will no then try a diff group n don't give up.

 

[Majella86]

well done you for deciding to deal with your weight gain now and only wanting to loose a "few pounds" rather than a "few stone" i wish i had had that attitude when my weight started creeping up but unfortunately i did the ostrich thing and buried my head and ignored it and now i have a lot to loose.
If you can make your decision now to change the way you look at food and the way you eat then that's amazing and to be honest i think slimming world is brilliant for that, you can loose your excess weight, gain your body confidence and move forward in your life,instead of letting it get on top of you and a few years down the line thinking "damn, should have done it then"
I wish you good luck and dont be put of by peoples negative comments, at the end of the day its your decision and i think you have made a positive one that you will only thank yourself for later on down the line.
dont loose heart!

 

[hollys nan]

I have had lots of people say to me I really didnt need to lose weight in the first place. I am 5' 10" and my first weigh in I was 12st 10lb! People said I looked ok because I am tall, but I was a tight size 16 and knew I needed to lose weight and I was most uncomfortable and looked awful. Now I am and have been at target for sometime many people now say I have lost too much but I am happy now a size 12 and content in my skin! And I weigh about 10st 6lbs. Its how you feel and we all have to feel happy in ourselves and not what others would like us to be!

 

[stivesliz]

There is a girl at my new SW class who has the most beautiful figure. If im honest when i first saw her i did wonder why on earth she was there, but apparently she was just a few lb's above where she wanted to be and she wanted to nip her weight gain in the bud before she became over weight. I had never thought of it like that. I was very impressed by her self discipline. Dont worry what people think. You are doing this for you and that's what's important!

Kate x

Oh my goodness - I wish I had done that many years ago lol!

 

[*Emsie*]

Unfortunately no-ones ever said that to me Its insensitive and though it might be difficult for you to accept it as such I would try and take it as a compliment. They are looking at you and saying(though they shouldn't be and its not down to them) that you look too good/slim to be at a slimming group. Godd for you for getting there before you look like you need to be there and you will show them that you can look even better if you lose the weight you want to x

 

[Dohnuts]

I had my first week last week and as I got on the scales I heard a lot of people saying I shouldn't be there. I thought this was so rude especially that they said it loud enough I could hear! I know I'm not fat or overweight - I was 9 stone 10, but I have body image issues and don't feel confident and never have done since I had an operation and piled on the pounds!

I just feel a little upset that people don't put themselves in other peoples shoes.

What do you guys think?

I've felt like this too seeing as I'm not overweight for my height and have a healthy BMI. I have put myself on a mission to lose body fat in order to gain the confidence that I never had in myself and my appearance due to the fact that I was called fat and ugly by the other kids for years as a child. Some may say that I should have gotten over that by now, but I haven't. I still feel like the 'chubby one' of the group. On top of that two friends recently told me that I was chubby - not in a malicous way, I just asked them to tell me the truth. This is why I am losing body fat. It's not even about the weight for me. I just want to achieve a body I feel happy and proud in like everyone else who is doing a diet. We are all in the same boat whatever our starting weight is and just because someone isn't officially overweight, it doesn't mean that they 'shouldn't be doing it'. If a person was actually underweight though, that would be a different scenario.

 

[emmababes]

I'm so glad that people agree with me! I feel a lot better about going back to group now and that I can just ignore these people!

The thing is that if they actually got to know my circumstances then they would understand, as I'm sure everyone is there because they feel uncomfortable with their current weight! I think that going to SW is more of a push to eat healthy and keep my diet restricted a bit more on top of wanting my old body back! I am aware that being 8 stone would make me underweight but that was just a target stone - I would be very happy anywhere in the 8-9 stone region!

Thank you for all the kind words ladies! You have all made me feel better

 

[Paul_Farnham_uk]

hi Emma,

I do agree that its rude of people to say this for you to hear BUT..

In defense of these people you need to understand that us overweight people are on the recieving end very often of abuse and ridicule from slim people who have no sympathy for our condition and therefore its almost brainwashed into us that slim people think we are useless no hopers and so some people feel a slim person joining their group which to be honest they see as a refuge from the aforementioned abuse to be an invasion of their territory.

I do not feel this way at all personally but i can understand how some people might, if that makes sense at all? the thing to do is introduce yourself to them and show them you are a nice person who simply is not happy with the way you look and this should relieve any tensions.

Regards

Paul

 

[chantsy86]

hi Emma,

I do agree that its rude of people to say this for you to hear BUT..

In defense of these people you need to understand that us overweight people are on the recieving end very often of abuse and ridicule from slim people who have no sympathy for our condition and therefore its almost brainwashed into us that slim people think we are useless no hopers and so some people feel a slim person joining their group which to be honest they see as a refuge from the aforementioned abuse to be an invasion of their territory.

I do not feel this way at all personally but i can understand how some people might, if that makes sense at all? the thing to do is introduce yourself to them and show them you are a nice person who simply is not happy with the way you look and this should relieve any tensions.

Regards

Paul

I don't think she should need to do that if these people have been called in the past or judged thy should know it feels and shouldn't judge other people. You shouldn't have to explain to anyone why you are there for them to be nice and think that you deserve to lose weight at least she is trying to do something before it gets out of control and if people at group can't see that there shallow and don't deserve an explanation.
X

 

[Dohnuts]

It kind of depends on the way it was said too. Saying that someone 'shouldn't be there' comes across as a rude and negative comment. If it was meant in a positive sense they would have said something like 'she doesn't need to be here'. I would personally find that more complimentary than the first statement.

 

[donna88]

I never understand people like that, we have plenty of people at our group who have joined and have quite a few stone to loose and plenty who have only got half a stone to loose, at the end of the day we're all there for the same reason!

I've sort of experienced it myself a couple of times, I've had people be quite funny with me until they get talking to me and find out I've lost just over 2 stone.

Luckily though my group is very excepting of everyone

 

[kingleds]

I had my first week last week and as I got on the scales I heard a lot of people saying I shouldn't be there. I thought this was so rude especially that they said it loud enough I could hear! I know I'm not fat or overweight - I was 9 stone 10, but I have body image issues and don't feel confident and never have done since I had an operation and piled on the pounds!

I just feel a little upset that people don't put themselves in other peoples shoes.

What do you guys think?

You say yourself you are not overweight or fat, so it's not completely unreasonable for someone to wonder why you are at a slimming group - and I confess I am a little confused as to why you are going - mainly because I personally struggle with the idea that someone who is 9st 10lbs has 'piled on the pounds' ! In this respect I am completely failing at putting myself in your shoes, if you don't mind sharing, I'd like to understand better though.

It's is completely unreasonable to rudely talk about you when you are at group, regardless of what they are saying though, so I am no condoning it - just saying I get why they think it.

 

[emmababes]

I understand that people don't understand why I am going to a slimming group but as everyone says I don't want to put on any more weight as of now and want to get back to my old size. I had an operation a year ago in which I was around 8 stone something and a size 8, after this it left me not able to do anything for a while and I just seemed to put weight in so much easier than in the past. Now I'm a size 12 and feel so much bigger - not to say that anyone who is a size 12 is big but that's just personally how I feel, especially seeing all of my old clothes etc that I can no longer wear.

I know that I don't need to tell you all of this but I feel that it may help some people understand as to why I do want to lose weight, and why I felt upset by the comments made.

At the end of the day I'm sure if many women felt this way they would do something about it too!

 

[kingleds]

I understand that people don't understand why I am going to a slimming group but as everyone says I don't want to put on any more weight as of now and want to get back to my old size. I had an operation a year ago in which I was around 8 stone something and a size 8, after this it left me not able to do anything for a while and I just seemed to put weight in so much easier than in the past. Now I'm a size 12 and feel so much bigger - not to say that anyone who is a size 12 is big but that's just personally how I feel, especially seeing all of my old clothes etc that I can no longer wear.

I know that I don't need to tell you all of this but I feel that it may help some people understand as to why I do want to lose weight, and why I felt upset by the comments made.

At the end of the day I'm sure if many women felt this way they would do something about it too!

I can see how if you've always been a certain size and you suddenly start gaining weight it would affect your confidence - I think that's pretty universal for all women! And you're probably best off trying to do something about it now rather than when you are a size 16, 20, 24.

I don't think you send to explain why you were upset by the comments - they shouldn't have said anything - its none of their damn business why you were there.

 

[stivesliz]

I wish someone would ask why I go lol!

 

[stampingmummy]

To be honest with you hun i wish I would have joined when I was 9st 10 and got my eating under control then instead of being over 18 stone before I sorted it out.

At the end of the day it is you who has to look in the mirror everyday and if your not happy then I admire you for taking control now.

As for the rudeness of others at group just ignore them it is pure jealousy x x x

 

[debtin]

I am not over weight or fat, even get called tiny but after my baby my weight is slow coming off, two years later I am still not back at that weight. I am slowly realising that the numbers on the scales are not going to make a difference but excercise will but only combined with follow sw. I don't always stick to plan but if I don't mentally tell myself I am following it I wouldn't eat fruit, wouldn't drink as much water, would eat white bread, chose chocolate over something more sustainable and basically just binge every other night. But being on here and listening to everyone, being on track as much as I can has made such a difference to me. It's healthy eating combined with self control for me. Finally after so long of being doom and gloom I am tryin hard to get my body shape to how I want it to be as opposed to what scales say.8st or 18st only us as individuals can decide when we are not happy. Ten pounds on me is huge difference for me. Everyone should aim for what makes us happy x

 

[Divster]

The saying goes, if you are slim, dont start dieting. Its one sure fire way to end up over-weight!

Its my saying, I made it up, and is true for alot of people that started trying to lose weight as they thought they were fat. If only I was as 'fat' now as I was then! lol

 

[DustQueen]

The saying goes, if you are slim, dont start dieting. Its one sure fire way to end up over-weight!

Its my saying, I made it up, and is true for alot of people that started trying to lose weight as they thought they were fat. If only I was as 'fat' now as I was then! lol

Lol yep I remember how fat I was when I started dieting so my size 8s would be looser lol

 

[icklerockchick]

That's a shame that you had a bad first experience that's really rude of anyone to comment on your weight they wouldn't like it if you commented on theirs!

I don't go to group I've always just done it from home but get the same kind of opinions of why are you dieting you don't look big. I never looked huge but technically my bmi was obese when I started sw at a size 14 as I am only 5ft2. I have only now got to a healthy bmi, literally just ;-) I still have over a stone to go to target and that is still well within a healthy bmi for my height.

If they continue to make horrible remarks perhaps try a different group or once you know the basics do it yourself from home as no one should be subjected to nasty comments about their weight whether it's saying you are too big or too small! It's doing what's right for you and you seem to have a sensible goal of getting back into your old clothes. I believe sw won't let you set a target of an unhealthy bmi so as long as yours is in the ideal range you are ok best to keep it a couple lbs above the minimum so you don't end up underweight x