Sabotage

Discussion in 'Strugglers and Restarters' started by Janes, 28 August 2011 Social URL.

  1. Janes

    Janes Member

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    Why is it that I am so desperate to lose weight and yet every day I sabotage what I am trying to do. I feel sad or unhappy I know I should be good but I make the decision to eat chocolate or something else I shouldn't and then feel really guilty for eating it so eat more.

    I would love to weigh less than I do now.

    I gave up smoking in February and joined Slimming world to try to manage the weight gain as last time I gave up smoking I gained a stone. I haven't gained that much this time but I have gained.

    My Slimming world consultant and class are so encouraging and have all sorts of ideas to help me, but it is me that sabotages every day and I feel so out of control.

    All I would like to see is a weight loss this week. Not sure if it will happen as I weigh in on Tuesday and although its been a better week this week I have still had more syns than I should.

    Has anybody else given up smoking and lost weight or have any ideas on how to bring things back under control.

    Any ideas would be appreciated.

    Thank you.
     
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  3. CurvyKaren

    CurvyKaren Silver Member

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    Firstly.. congratulations on giving up smoking. This to me says something... you have been determined at that so you can be determined at this too.

    I know EXACTLY what you mean about 'oh well - i've blown my chances now - i'll finish off the whole bar' I have done that SO many times. You need to wipe the slate clean. You haven't blown anything - you can start IMMEDIATELY back to the plan and instantly feel better about yourself. It's all about staying positive and determined - just like smoking.

    We can do it!!

    Karen x
     
  4. Janes

    Janes Member

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    Thank you for your reply, I know you are right and have just eaten some syn free rice pudding to fill myself up. My son has just made me a cup of tea to wash it down.

    Lets hope I can see a loss on Tuesday. I don't care if its only 1/2lb, as long as its a loss.

    I feel so much better having stopped smoking, I know that I will feel even better if I can lose weight too.
     
  5. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    I am on a vlcd, partly for just that reason. I'm not advocating you start one unless you want to - it's not for everone, but perhaps just until you get into the hang of it some sort of strict structure to your diet would be a good idea. When my son decided to lose weight (not that he really had to) he wrote himself out a rigid meal plan for everyday for a month, even down to what vegetables and fruit and nuts he would be having, he wrote in his treats too and planned these around parties etc. I did the shopping for him, things like chicken, fish, brown rice and brown pasta, green veg and unsalted cashew nuts. He stuck to it and lost an incredible amount of weight given he was not really overweight to start with. Eventually I had to ask him to stop because he was actually getting a bit too thin for my liking!
    Anyway - just a thought.
     
  6. Janes

    Janes Member

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    Thank you lass, I structure my food weekly now. I know what I am eating as this is planned at the beginning of the week. My problem is that I start off with good intentions and then sabotage it by eating something I shouldn't and then feel out of control so eat more. I usually start the following day again with good intentions and eating what I planned but can then sabotage it again.

    It is my fault that I do this, I plan weekly but I struggle to stick to it.
     
  7. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    Have you considered counselling? It might seem drastic, but maybe there is some underlying reason you sabotage your diet? There may not be of course, you may just not be ready to diet yet for a number of reasons, but eating and emotions are very firmly bound in some people (me included) so it might be worth a thought. take care!
     
  8. Janes

    Janes Member

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    I have had counselling before when I went through my divorce and it helped greatly. You might be right, my eating is definately related to how I feel and if I feel unhappy or depressed then I eat more and then feel worse and it becomes a vicious cycle. As I used to smoke that was what I turned to but now that I have given that up it is food that comforts me.

    Do I need to swap one thing for another I wonder or will I one day be able to feel in control without needing to eat/smoke to get comfort.

    I am sure there are so many people who have been through this, but it is so difficult and I know when I am eating that I shouldn't but I do it anyway.

    I thought I would post my feelings here as once it is written it makes it more visible and hopefully easier to deal with and remedy. Thank you so much for your comments.
     
  9. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    You are doing the sensible thing to write your thoughts on here. You will get lots of advice - not all of it good - but the main thing is you will be mixing with people who share your experiences, and that might just be enough. I am going to start using my WII fit again now that autumn is approaching. I was quite into it last year. I have bought the wii zumba - should be a laugh. It also stops me thinking about eating cr*p lol.
     
  10. Janes

    Janes Member

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    I am starting a zumba class middle of september, a friend has asked me to join with her so thought I would give it a go as quite a few sw members go and seem to enjoy it. I have a wii and really should use it more its finding time when you are bringing up 2 teenagers on your own they seem to take a lot of time.

    Saying that they are both wonderful and give me lots of support and encouragement and even enjoy the slimming world meals I cook.
     
  11. Baby_Cakes

    Baby_Cakes Dave's little girl

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    I often feel that my main downfall is a lack of friends and a husband that works nights.
     
  12. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    I think you're right - too much time alone in the evenings with a full fridge and food cupboard is a recipe for disaster!!!!
     
  13. Baby_Cakes

    Baby_Cakes Dave's little girl

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    It sure is. But now the nights are starting to draw in I am going to make the most of being in alone and exercise at every chance I get. I plan at least 5 days of an hour at a time.

    I have to do this. The food isnt going to win, I AM!
     
  14. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    I like the fighting talk!
     
  15. Baby_Cakes

    Baby_Cakes Dave's little girl

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    I need the fight. Food can be a very very dirty fighter at times! Tomorrow morning I am starting a new chapter. Positive. Full of fight. Determined.
     
  16. Janes

    Janes Member

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    Glad to hear you are determined. I have had a good week so far, but then its only Wednesday. But I have emptied my purse and do not carry any money to work, I now cannot buy chocolate from the snack machine even if I am tempted. I have spent a lot of time cooking and now eat a 2 course lunch at work, stuffed after that lol, couldn't eat chocolate even if I wanted to. But if I am desperate I have a chocolate options in my drawer. Good luck, let me know how you get on.
     
  17. cherrygem

    cherrygem Silver Member

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  19. M and M

    M and M Full Member

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    Hi Jane, if this makes any sense to you, we do this kind of thing as it's learned behaviour. It's an established reward neural network in the brain, and the reason you/we do it is just because we have done so previously and often for a very long time. At the very moment of desire for the chosen food, we blank out and only think of the pleasure it will bring, and none of the attached detrimental consequences. It helps at these times to see the bigger picture. Gillian Riley has written very well on this topic, if you want to look her up
     
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