say goodbye to your fat friend!

[pinkx]

I thought I should start a diary so I keep the majority of my ramblings away from the normal forum!

im back again after losing the weight I HAD put back on since my original slimming world success. Luckily it wasn't that much weight but now I'm back at a level pegging. time to start fresh this year and hopefully shift another 2-3 stone. I don't want to be dead thin. I dont think I'd suit it. I'm very much of the opinion of setting small goals and seeing how I look and feel when I reach them. I could never go ahead with any kind of skin lift surgery as I'm terrified of things like that. while im not happy when I look in the mirror I definately see improvement from before I did slimming world. I look in the mirror more, and whilst my peeves are with my belly or my fat back, I'm fully aware that now I am lucky I can actually walk properly again!

being quite short I suffered when I walked, I had pain in all my joints and I was unable to walk without waddeling.

I 100% blame the vast majority of my weight on a previous relationship. Sure I wasn't exactly a model before hand but a controlling feeder for a boyfriend didn't help the situation and I shot up from a size 16 to a 24 within 2 years. Now I am in a healthy supportive relationship with someone who met me at my biggest, who loves me regardless. He loves me just the way I am - and as a result the only pressure to change is from me.

We are going on holiday this year and theres a pool so I need swimwear... ARGH! if I can loose 2-3 stone I think I will feel 100% more confident to get in that pool... well get in normally... my current plan would be to shout FIRE and point... while jumping into the pool...

I want to be the girl that everyone goes "is that..... omg no way!!!"

 

[pinkx]

Apologies in advance for the woe is me tone. I feel really down this week.its been hard to lift my spirits. I think i mentioned previously i suffer from depression and at the minute its a little bit more at the forefront. I feel really alone like i have 0 friends. I dunno what i have done to make people hate me so much. Like for example i say morninv to our security guard at work anf he ignores me but answers back to everyonr else...even seconds after me! I feel like im invisible, even people in the street walk into me! I wouldnt care but i am the size of a house. If i had a button to change my life anyway i wanted i would lose weight and move abroad away from here

Also i have lost half a pound this week... Devastated

 

[sproutlet]

Just want to wish you luck on your weight loss journey. I'm sorry you are feeling down at the moment and hope things improve for you soon. I know how disheartening a small loss can feel but remember it is a loss and you've done so well so far!

 

[Spanx]

Hi Pinkx. Sorry to hear you are feeling down, but I'm sure you will find comfort and support on this forum - we're all in it together!

Your goals sound very reasonable - much better to focus on the short term when you've got a lot to lose - it helps me immensely just to look at the next half a stone, or getting down into the next stone bracket.

I know when I was at my biggest that my confidence took a real pounding - even if I didn't admit it to myself very often. Stand tall (well, as tall as we %ft 4 inchers can manage!) and be proud of what you are achieving and you will probably find that people will treat you differently, or at least your perception of how they are treating you will change - for the better!

Good luck on your journey. x

 

[pinkx]

Thanks. It means a lot. Im sure i will get there eventually! Might just have to go to ikea to cheer myself up hehe

Yea at 5ft 4 its quite hard to stand tall hehe but im working on it. Might play dress up when i get home.that always cheers me up seeing previously unwearable clothes zipping up

 

[pinkx]

After some manic raiding of gadgets to find a battery for the scales which seem to have epic timing... I have lost 1 pound!woo... Hoping for more next week but about to reward myself with a turkey bacon and HE bread sarnie.... Hello friday!
Just need to find something to eat for the weekend now.

 

[pinkx]

Anyone been watching my mad fat diary? So many shocking similarities between us. Nice to actually see someon on tv whose life isnt perfect. Defo gonna get the book for when i go away.

Typically the day after weigh in i have lost another half pound lol. Gonna play dress up this morning after an omelette. See how my clothes are getting on. Worst part about slimming world is waiting for results. I wish there was a wonder drug. I just wanna see a difference now. I focus on how amazing i will feel on the day i step on the scales and it says 15.13 and the day when i finally get into my size 18 dress. I think a lot of this has to do witg looking after yourself, something i have barely done in years. I try to get regular haircuts now and exfoliate and moisturise. All those things you are supposed to do like wear make up... Lol

 

[Spanx]

I keep meaning to watch my mad fat diary, but forgetting - looks good from the trailers - I'll try and catch it on catch-up tv.

I know it seems like it takes a long time - and we're all impatient, but I'm sure it won't be long before you do see that 15st 13 on the scales. Besides, I used to tell myself that when you've got a lot to lose, it's best not to lose quickly, or else I'd be left with lots of loose skin - losing slowly gives your body more time to adjust... Could be talking rubbish, but it sounds sensible!

 

[valerie11]

Hi Hun good luck losing the lbs xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[pinkx]

I keep meaning to watch my mad fat diary, but forgetting - looks good from the trailers - I'll try and catch it on catch-up tv.

I know it seems like it takes a long time - and we're all impatient, but I'm sure it won't be long before you do see that 15st 13 on the scales. Besides, I used to tell myself that when you've got a lot to lose, it's best not to lose quickly, or else I'd be left with lots of loose skin - losing slowly gives your body more time to adjust... Could be talking rubbish, but it sounds sensible!

yea when i lost 3 stone it definately helped by not losing it too quick!

 

[CPL]

Good luck Pinkx, the weight shifting is a pain in the bum, we are so impatient, it didnt go on overnight so why do we expect it come off over night? You're right to make small goals that are achievable, and if you can get a new wardrobe from your old stuff then that is fantastic!! Keep up the good work hun x

 

[pinkx]

Haha its not even old stuff...its all brand new with tags from last time when i merely grazed fitted into size 18 so bought a load then went on holiday and various other off the rail stuff!eek this time!

Uhhh please mr scales let me see 16.4 this week!

 

[pinkx]

Weigh in tomorrow and i have lost no weight AT ALL lol fail...been good all week too

 

[pinkx]

Lost nothing...

I have spent far too much money to the point where i am considering taking stuff back... Lol especially a bag i spent 75 pound on which is the same as another bag i already have but bigger... :-(

 

[CPL]

Dont get down, im a slow loser too, ive lost nothing this week too. Ive printed off a load of menu planners so i can plan my meals for the week, i found the SW diary sheets a bit rubbishy. The plans definitely help.

£70 on a bag!! lol i love bags too. Hubby bought me a couple of Pradas and i have a gorgeous Gucci.

 

[pinkx]

Dont get down, im a slow loser too, ive lost nothing this week too. Ive printed off a load of menu planners so i can plan my meals for the week, i found the SW diary sheets a bit rubbishy. The plans definitely help.

£70 on a bag!! lol i love bags too. Hubby bought me a couple of Pradas and i have a gorgeous Gucci.

For some reason they make me happy...dont have a massive size tag on or only come up to size 14...lpl

Yea im gonna stick with it...eventually i have to start losing again and i have defo gone down around stomach etc. Gonna start measuring i think...

Just seeing the days counting down and the weight staying the same is scary! Come on silly body!release the fat!

 

[pinkx]

Ok whilst I still haven't lost anything I am losing bulge ...maybe there's just so much it takes a while to register as a pound? Who knows...anyway one of my problem areas was the parcel shelf inbetween my waist and bum...its gone down...like almost flat in normal tights...not even spanx type. I am amazed by it...but if I could lose a pound or two I would be grateful...

 

[pinkx]

Lost half a pound... Weird since i have ate bad stuff... Been being good inbetween tho... Next week gonna try be 100% well except for the nigght out... Lol

 

[CPL]

well done half a pound off is deffo better than putting it on. Keep going, enjoy your night out too x

 

[pinkx]

ok sooo i drank too much and ate too much in order to fix my hangover and now the scales are showing 16.9 EEEEKKK!!! so WI is Friday... gonna be goodish

Monday -

no breakfast - yea i was still ill
lunch - chicken with peppers and onion in tomato sauce made with pasata and chopped tomatoes - thats free right? only used fry light
tea - nandos... halloumi... can i use that as my cheese? lol chicken burger chips and full pot of perinaise... fail!

Tuesday

2 slices of the small hovis nimble granary - can you use ANY of that as a healthy extra or would it have to be synned? so then could i have 2 slices of wholemeal too??? confused about that

lunch chicken stirfry - soy sauce - syns???

probs similar for tea...
Had stir fry for my t. Massive ome

And 2 pieces of toblerone... Lol


Wednesday

Breakfast beans

Lunch - probably jacket with tuna but the place i go doesnt use mayo.

Actually im going to have a tomato based pasta for lunch. My scales say i have lost 1.5 pound woo