Secret Eating...........Confessions!

[fattyfattybumtum]

Watching this programme called "freaky eaters" on binge eating and I can so relate to it. Ive been doing the same for so so long. Binge eating, eating too fast and secret eating.
Has anyone else been a secret eater???? So desperate that youve hidden yourself away to eat more??? :drool:
Where did you do it??? In the bedroom, bathroom, garage or car?? (sorry, this sounds so sexual!)
Has anyone else eaten an entire cake and destroyed the evidence or a secret Mcdonalds on the way home???
Have you ever been a secret eater???

 

[Sunshine Singer]

I wasn't a huge secret eater but I did used to binge a lot and sometimes I'd hide the evidence. I certainly didn't advertise what I'd eaten. It's probabl ymore common that we think. I did get into the habbit of going to the shop nightly and buying huge bags of sweets/ chocolates or giant sized bars and would happily munch my way through each night. My other half used to eat half the bags to save me from having the whole lot. I hated myself for it and I'm glad to have broken the habbit. It's so easily done tho just to slip straight back there x

 

[flowey]

I was joking on a thread once about the same thing. I said I was going to put a CD sachet in a frame on the wall to always remind me. When I told my husband, he said I should put one of the large bars of dairy milk wrappers in there instead, to remind me what I used to do when I was very depressed about my weight.

 

[Memphis]

Definitely. I go home to visit family every month or so and it's like a psychological trigger. As soon as I get in the car I'm planning what to binge on. I'll stop at the first garage and stock up on junk food. I'll eat on and off for the whole journey (2-3 hours), to the point where I feel ill. And then when I get home I'll act as though I've not eaten and my mum will cook my tea!

There are a few issues here. One of them is a difficult, personal issue which I won't go into now, but it definitely makes me comfort eat/self-sabotage I think...and that's brought on particularly by the knowledge that I'm homeward bound. The other part, I guess, is boredom.

This has been my secret bad habit for four years now. I haven't been home since starting CD so interested to see how I manage that journey.

 

[EllieMellie]

Definitely - there was a particular pleasure about secret eating. When I was younger and lived at home I would be delighted if my parents went out - I would plan what I was going to eat. As I got older that extended to eating in the car on long hourneys, on the way home from work etc. Did a long journey today - Bristol and back - and managed on nothing but water. Very proud of myself.

Ellie x

 

[fitz]

I can relate too - especially the "going home" trigger - this happens to me also.
I do volunteer work for the Eating Disorders Assocciation - binge eating is just as common as Anorexia but sometimes far more difficult to understand by people who do not have a relationship with food. It is soo much harder to break the habits we have with regard to binge/secret eating when we need food to survive - I believe food addiction is no different to say drink or drugs - trouble is, we can't just erase the eating food forever from our lives.

 

[Asa]

Oh yes, ofcourse, I don't think I would be carrying this much extra weight if I hadn't . But my boyfriend was always in on the secret, and accepted it. So I could eat where ever in the apartment. Only hiding the eating for other family and friends.

I think it is interesting to discuss "why" as well. I know I am an emotional eater, when I am upset or sad - I eat. And so on, food is the best "medicin". The problem is that I don't know what do substitute food for. I like to go on CD, because then I don't consider overeating. Today I even let my feelings out when I got a bit sad. That was a good feeling afterwards. Hope I can continue with this aproach!

 

[Keira82]

When I was younger I used to eat when my parents went out but I would never finish anything thinking they wouldn't notice.... then when I moved out I used to finish work before my partner and come home and eat crisps, sandwiches, cheese and just about anything I fancied and hide the wrappers in the bin Thank god for CD!!!!!!!

 

[Sunshine Singer]

I read once that all these things, like going home or back to familiar places are like a bell to us. Like when I go to my Dads, I know that there will be a selection of scrummy biscuits in the cupboard....so as soon as I'm back at Dads, bell, have to open the biscuits. Going to a wholesalers, always stopping for lunch, bell. Smelling familiar scents that trigger mental hunger, bell. If you alway stop at the garage on the way home and buy munchies, bell. What i learnt from this....is that when a trigger goes off in my head telling me I want to eat because I always do at that time or in that same place.......I now see that it's just a bell. I don't actually want it but I'm brainwashed to think that I do. Hope this is making sense.

It's the same with all the TV adds.....food is glamourised so we think eating that Flake in the candle lit bath is sexy and beautiful whe In fact it's not.

God way too much to say in a post xxx

ps.my point is that after years of living with these bells i now regcognise them and actually lost weight last time i went back to Ireland. I now have no fear about eating loads when i go home. its brilliant x

 

[YoyoEm]

I talk to my CDC about a "blank canvas". That I just want to get rid of the excess weight as quickly as possible and start again - learn to eat properly again.
It almost feels like a second chance. Once the bulk of the weight is gone I think we will all think twice about what we're putting in our mouths and not want to undo all the hard work.
We will want to eat like a slim person, not like a fatty!
Good luck everyone - we can do it! x

 

[Memphis]

Wow what an interesting thread this is. It's good to see that others share some of the same behaviours and thought processes as me. Thinking of these triggers as 'bells' is a nice idea. Might try this one.

It reminds me of giving up smoking. I tried on and off for years, then I read the Alan Carr Easy Way to Stop Smoking book..and it cured me. I gave up halfway through the book and never felt a single craving.

The book showed me a new way to think and taught me how craving a cigarette was all in my head, brought on different triggers. Now if I learn to see my emotional eating in the same way, I could put it all behind me.

One of the great things about this diet is that by taking my relationship with food out of the picture, albeit temporarily, I can examine it and hopefully learn from it.

 

[fitz]

talking of eating like a slim person - I work with a lady who I have always thought " gosh I wish I was like you " seems to eat whatever and never gains weight - recently though we have been working much more closely and it is apparant that even slim people have to "work " at it.
I have discovered that she swims 3 times a week - she never eats her lunch before 12 - if she is hungry she eats her fruit first - she saves her cereal/snack bar for the afternoon to eat only when all her healthy food has gone, she cooks all her own meals for the family - never buys jars/box's/readymades - she has a little of what she fancies but will cut out something else if she has a bigger treat than usual - I realise that this is probably normal for a hell of alot of people but it does bring it home how getting/being/staying slim is totally about controlling what we do and planning and thinking. This lady has never had a weight problem and probably never will but it is lovely to see that being slim is not just god given and we all have to make sacrifices and work at this often very difficult healthy life thing lol

 

[Slickchick]

I used to binge eat and eat in secret! No breakie in front of the family, but as soon as the kids were dropped at school, I was in tesco buying packs of sandwhiches and cakes and crammin them in my face before I started work! THEN I would make the same trip before I picked them up from school and sit in the school car park, far away from any over parents, eatin the same kind of things. On arriving at home I would tell my husband I was starvin coz I HADNT EATEN a thing all day and would tuck into a large meal!!!!! OMG I cannot beleive that is how I ate! How I lived my life! Of course then after my meal I would have ice cream, crisps, sweets.....I never seemed to feel full or sick!!!! Now I know it was all the awful additives and rubbish in the food! NEVER wana go back there ever again!

 

[EllieMellie]

You are dead right Fitz. I don't know anyone over the age of 22 who is 'naturally' slim x

 

[fattyfattybumtum]

I used to binge eat and eat in secret! No breakie in front of the family, but as soon as the kids were dropped at school, I was in tesco buying packs of sandwhiches and cakes and crammin them in my face before I started work! THEN I would make the same trip before I picked them up from school and sit in the school car park, far away from any over parents, eatin the same kind of things. On arriving at home I would tell my husband I was starvin coz I HADNT EATEN a thing all day and would tuck into a large meal!!!!! OMG I cannot beleive that is how I ate! How I lived my life! Of course then after my meal I would have ice cream, crisps, sweets.....I never seemed to feel full or sick!!!! Now I know it was all the awful additives and rubbish in the food! NEVER wana go back there ever again!

That so sounds like me...I used to do that all the time..stuff my face silly and then on hubbys arrival say havent eaten all day and would continue to stuff my face till i fell asleep.

 

[fattyfattybumtum]

Glad to know there's more people like me out there - I love to eat in the car!!! Well its so easy - go to the shop buy loads of chocolate and munchies (better if u have long journey as an excuse) and munch away to your hearts content - no fear of someone coming in with your gob stuffed!!
I ordered a pizza from Pizza hut once and they asked how many people are eating (so they could sell me a combo deal) I said 3, so they sold me a large pizza, chicken wings, garlic bread and and a coke. When the pizza guy delivered it and said, I hope you and the family enjoys it.... I closed the door and shouted..foods here!

I ate the whole lot. Shocking!

 

[charlotte_k]

i used to eat more on my days off. i would get up and go to the shop and buy cheese and ham rolls, about 6 packets of crisps, ice cream, loads of chocolates and sweets. then in the evening i would go and get loads of chinese!! i would hide it all from my housemates and they had no idea. i can't believe i used to eat that much and not be sick! i makes me feel ill just thinking about it. this is the first time i have told anyone about how much i used to eat. feels a bit weird x x

 

[fattyfattybumtum]

i used to eat more on my days off. i would get up and go to the shop and buy cheese and ham rolls, about 6 packets of crisps, ice cream, loads of chocolates and sweets. then in the evening i would go and get loads of chinese!! i would hide it all from my housemates and they had no idea. i can't believe i used to eat that much and not be sick! i makes me feel ill just thinking about it. this is the first time i have told anyone about how much i used to eat. feels a bit weird x x

*squishes charlotte* feel no shame babe...we're all weirdos here
Nevermind...We are gonna be changing for good now. x

 

[Lin18]

I would buy packs of fresh cream cakes and scoff them all at lunchtime, next was the nuts all types, large bags to myself i would hide them in my draw in work, work in office by myself then constantly have hand in the draw munching all day, at home baby in bed hub on lates crisps crisps more crisps, oh and the odd huge bar of choc, then 3 or 4 rounds of cheese on toast, that was after my healthy tea of small portion of meat and veg, (who was i kidding) Every excuse i found to go shops, need bread and milk end up with a basket full of rubbish most of it to hide away and scoff as soon as i was alone. Can beleive i have done this to myself, thank god its all over now,

 

[Lexie_dog]

Totally - saying I'm away to make a cuppa and cramming in as much as possible in the kitchen

Getting up at 3am in the morning to eat as was so hungry

Eating on the way home and then getting dinner when in.

Totally, totally relate