aesir22
Silver Member
Hi all,
Just a question for anyone approaching target, or even still away from target but still feel more confident...
On the outside I act quite confident and sure of myself but I know inside I'm not and tonight has proven that! I have always been big, since I was a little kid, and I have always had low self esteem though it doesn't always show. I have lost 2 stone (ish) and thought I was starting to feel good and confident.
But tonight I went to sign up for a karate class. It started at 8pm, so I got there a bit earlier but training had already begun. I looked inside to see young, fit, healthy people already sparring and my resolve to start just plummeted. Totally plunged. Physically could not bring myself to go in. I stood outside for a good ten minutes totally unsure what I was going to do. I WANT to start up but just couldn't. Maybe it would have been different if the class hadn't already started but such a reaction has made me feel a bit, well, in all honesty ashamed and upset. I am 27 and something so simple has really made me feel messed up!
Has anyone experienced this before? And maybe gotten past it somehow? Was it just when you lose weight and felt more confident, or did you do something else to boost your confidence levels?
I am so gutted because I really wanted to start and thought it would in itself help my self esteem! Sorry for the rant lol
Just a question for anyone approaching target, or even still away from target but still feel more confident...
On the outside I act quite confident and sure of myself but I know inside I'm not and tonight has proven that! I have always been big, since I was a little kid, and I have always had low self esteem though it doesn't always show. I have lost 2 stone (ish) and thought I was starting to feel good and confident.
But tonight I went to sign up for a karate class. It started at 8pm, so I got there a bit earlier but training had already begun. I looked inside to see young, fit, healthy people already sparring and my resolve to start just plummeted. Totally plunged. Physically could not bring myself to go in. I stood outside for a good ten minutes totally unsure what I was going to do. I WANT to start up but just couldn't. Maybe it would have been different if the class hadn't already started but such a reaction has made me feel a bit, well, in all honesty ashamed and upset. I am 27 and something so simple has really made me feel messed up!
Has anyone experienced this before? And maybe gotten past it somehow? Was it just when you lose weight and felt more confident, or did you do something else to boost your confidence levels?
I am so gutted because I really wanted to start and thought it would in itself help my self esteem! Sorry for the rant lol