Single/Couple?

Single: You get the whole duvet to yourself.
Coupled: You don't need a hot water bottle.

Single: There's half as much ironing to do.
Coupled: There's twice as much ironing to do but somebody else might do it.

Single: You can hoover the carpet when you think it needs doing.
Coupled: Somebody else hoovers the carpet before you think it needs doing.

Single: You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.
Coupled: There's somebody to talk to about the programme you're watching.

Single: You can whizz round an art gallery in half the time.
Coupled: You get to discuss all the art as you go round.

Single: Nobody complains when you burp, belch or fart.
Coupled: Somebody points out when you have ketchup on your chin.

Single: You never come home to a blazing row.
Coupled: You sometimes come home to a cooked meal.

Single: You get to eat the whole ready meal for two yourself.
Coupled: It takes just as long to cook for two as it does for one.

Single: You can always go on holiday somewhere you find interesting.
Coupled: Hotel rooms cost less per person, and there's somebody to talk to at breakfast.

Single: There are no important birthdays or anniversaries to accidentally forget.
Coupled: Somebody actually remembers your birthday.

Single: You never have to buy useless presents for your partner, just for the sake of it.
Coupled: Somebody buys you presents occasionally, and it's the thought that counts.

Single: You can spend all your money on yourself.
Coupled: There are two salaries coming in and only one set of bills.

Single: Nobody ever tells you that the kitchen must be repainted and the bathroom must be retiled.
Coupled: Two people can repaint the kitchen or retile the bathroom far more quickly than one.

Single: You're allowed to flirt with people in the street.
Coupled: You don't need to flirt with people in the street.

Single: You have can still have a riotous social life in your 30s.
Coupled: You can still have a riotous social life in your 60s.

Single: You can always get a double seat to yourself on public transport.
Coupled: You can never find a double seat because they're all being hogged by single people.

Single: You can read a book on a train without feeling you should be talking to the person next to you instead.
Coupled: You don't need a book on a long train journey because this is quality time together.

Single: You don't catch every sniffle, cold and flu bug off your partner.
Coupled: When you suffer a major cardiac arrest, somebody actually notices and dials 999.

Single: You have no friends to go out with because they've all partnered off and are staying in.
Coupled: You don't have to go out with those annoying friends you had while you were single.

Single: You already know which set of parents you'll be spending Christmas with this year.
Coupled: The family sometimes chooses to spend Christmas at your house.

Single: Being coupled is restrictive, stifling and a sign of personal weakness.
Coupled: Being single is unnatural, lonely and a sign of personal failure.

Single: The bathroom is always free.
Coupled: The bedroom is always full.

Single: You can lie in bed in the morning for as long as you like.
Coupled: There's a very good reason for lying in bed in the morning.

Single: Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.
Coupled: Somebody loves you despite what they see first thing in the morning.
 
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