chunkychicken
Full Member
Hi all
Not sure if anyone will remember me - I haven't been here in a while.
I started LL almost exactly 1 year ago and lost nearly all of my weight (over 7 stone). I felt on top of the world and so much so - I started working for my LLC as a Locum running groups. I have really enjoyed the work and still feel like a new woman personality wise (the old me would never had have the guts to run groups!). However, one of the main reasons I chose to do the Locum job (on top of a busy full time job) was that I thought that being in contact with LL would keep me on track....
How wrong was I? My LLC warned me when I started that it didn't work that way for her and if anything, listening to people talk about food all the time and hearing all their struggles just sent her running for the fridge sometimes... I naively thought I knew better....
Like I said, I was wrong.
So here I am day 1 of abstinence - slinking back in for some support.
I intend to keep this as a diary - something I didn't bother with last time. I hope that writing it all down will keep me on track and that you lovely people will help me with a hug here and a kick up the bum there.
I don't want to end this post on a negative though - as I really feel I am in the right frame of mind to do this properly - I feel really... ready. Ignoring the fact that one more week of wild eating behaviour and my trousers will bust off of me like the incredible hulk LOL!
I have learnt some interesting (if a little hard) lessons these past few weeks. Mainly, that no matter how hard I tried, no binge could ever satisfy me.... I tried every type of food I had been craving with no avail. It doesn't feel the same as it used to, it just feels bloody uncomfortable.
Lesson One - food cannot solve any problem other than physical hunger. I know that it tastes nice, and I know that it feels strangely good to eat something I shouldn't when no-one is looking.... but it SOLVES nothing.
Lesson Two - nothing feels quite as bad as being disappointed in yourself - I have never experienced this before because I didn't care enough to feel disappointed before - since LL I do. I like feeling proud of myself and I miss it so much.
Lesson Three - high fat, high sugar, high calorie and high carb food may be a taste sensation at the time - but my GOD - a few hours later and my body lets me know exactly how much it doesn't like it any more. Leads on to lesson Four.....
Lesson four - if you have indigestion and bloating - and this is really a D'OH moment and expose the depth of my food insanity recently.... shoveling more food in only makes the problem worse.....
(Welll Duh.....)
Lesson Five... When you feel so hideous physically that you would rather sit in a cupboard all day than let your partner touch you... then something needs to be done and quickly.
Lesson six... The more you eat the more you poop..... gross but true.
And on that delicious note I shall leave you in peace until tomorrow....
Have a great day peeps
More water please.....
So my ticker now shows the 2 stone I have gained since my lowest weight plus the extra stone I never lost when I went into RTM early...
Laura
Not sure if anyone will remember me - I haven't been here in a while.
I started LL almost exactly 1 year ago and lost nearly all of my weight (over 7 stone). I felt on top of the world and so much so - I started working for my LLC as a Locum running groups. I have really enjoyed the work and still feel like a new woman personality wise (the old me would never had have the guts to run groups!). However, one of the main reasons I chose to do the Locum job (on top of a busy full time job) was that I thought that being in contact with LL would keep me on track....
How wrong was I? My LLC warned me when I started that it didn't work that way for her and if anything, listening to people talk about food all the time and hearing all their struggles just sent her running for the fridge sometimes... I naively thought I knew better....
Like I said, I was wrong.
So here I am day 1 of abstinence - slinking back in for some support.
I intend to keep this as a diary - something I didn't bother with last time. I hope that writing it all down will keep me on track and that you lovely people will help me with a hug here and a kick up the bum there.
I don't want to end this post on a negative though - as I really feel I am in the right frame of mind to do this properly - I feel really... ready. Ignoring the fact that one more week of wild eating behaviour and my trousers will bust off of me like the incredible hulk LOL!
I have learnt some interesting (if a little hard) lessons these past few weeks. Mainly, that no matter how hard I tried, no binge could ever satisfy me.... I tried every type of food I had been craving with no avail. It doesn't feel the same as it used to, it just feels bloody uncomfortable.
Lesson One - food cannot solve any problem other than physical hunger. I know that it tastes nice, and I know that it feels strangely good to eat something I shouldn't when no-one is looking.... but it SOLVES nothing.
Lesson Two - nothing feels quite as bad as being disappointed in yourself - I have never experienced this before because I didn't care enough to feel disappointed before - since LL I do. I like feeling proud of myself and I miss it so much.
Lesson Three - high fat, high sugar, high calorie and high carb food may be a taste sensation at the time - but my GOD - a few hours later and my body lets me know exactly how much it doesn't like it any more. Leads on to lesson Four.....
Lesson four - if you have indigestion and bloating - and this is really a D'OH moment and expose the depth of my food insanity recently.... shoveling more food in only makes the problem worse.....
(Welll Duh.....)
Lesson Five... When you feel so hideous physically that you would rather sit in a cupboard all day than let your partner touch you... then something needs to be done and quickly.
Lesson six... The more you eat the more you poop..... gross but true.
And on that delicious note I shall leave you in peace until tomorrow....
Have a great day peeps
More water please.....
So my ticker now shows the 2 stone I have gained since my lowest weight plus the extra stone I never lost when I went into RTM early...
Laura
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