Slodge to sylph.....


Never give up trying....!
I am not starting my diet yet because I know there is no point this close to xmas, but I thought I would start my diary now ready for the New Year so that I can list and remember all the reasons why I am so fed up with being so fat.
Firstly a bit of background.
I am Helen. 34, and have been a yo-yo dieter for about 15 years. I have successfully lost all my weight before with Rosemary Conley, LL and CD and am going to start CD again in January 2007. I have a problem with maintenance as I seem to be an 'all or nothing' sort of person.
I live with a wonderfully supportive partner and two gorgeous 2.4year old boys. I need to crack this before my weight starts to affect their lives.
I am currently around 18stone, which is the biggest I have ever been.

1. No clothes to wear-size 28 is now tight.
2. Always full tired and unmotivated. Never wake up feeling revived.
3. Feel as if I am about to have a heart attack on the shortest walk.
4. Gasp for breathe.
5. Am concerned for my health, especially my heart.
6. Personal hygiene is becoming an issue.
7. Never feel worthy to bother to take care of myself properly.
8. Can only just drive the car as the steering wheel is wedged into my stomach.
9. The highest weight I have ever reached is a very scary thought.
10. Can't play on the floor for long with my boys as it is uncomfortable to be on the floor and hard to get up.

That's it for now...more to follow and hopefully these reasons will keep me motivated later on into my diet.

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Gold Member
Welcome Helen, Well done for putting these issues down, I did that on the first page of my diary and when I look back now Im thrilled at how far Ive come.

Enjoy minimins, how much did you lose on CD before??


Never give up trying....!
11. Underwear is very uncomfortable & unattractive.
12. Want to feel more sexually attractive.
13. Need to lose a significant amount of weight to try for another baby with IVF.
14. Sweat!
15. Don't want to avoid social situations purely because of my weight.
16. Ditto going on aeroplanes is a complete no no.
17. Haven't been swimming with my boys for ages and they are missing out.
18. Want to take them more places and not feel embarassed.
19. Never able to enjoy a family meal in a restuarant as I feel ashamed and that everyone is looking at me.
20. Waste £5-£10 PER DAY on junk food and coke which could be put to better use.
21. Red sweaty face.
22. People look at me when I am out, especially if I am buying food in a supermarket.
23. Avoid photographs with me in them, so my sons won't have much of a record of their early days with me it them.
24. Weak ankles. Have strained both ankles this year and they cannot recover properly due to so much weight on them.

I lost 5 stone before on CD (8 stone previously with LL) but as soon as I started getting compliments I became complacent and didn't seem to care to get to my goal. I really need to suceed now as the thought of yo-yoing through the rest of my life is horrible.


Carpe diem
S: 17st4lb C: 16st11lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 43 Loss: 0st7lb(2.89%)
I'm restarting in January too (the 8th) ... hopefully this time I'll get all the way to goal!

Looking forward to sharing your journey with you!


Full Member
Dear Helen,

First of all welcome to the site. It has been a real source of comfort and motivation for me since I was introduced to it by Summer, my CDC, in late October.

Your post struck a real chord with me. I too started CD at 18 stone and had previously lost 7 1/2 on LL. I am also 34 and a mother to an 8 1/2 month old daughter.

I could relate to SO MANY of the points you made but the one which bothered me the most, because I realised it was true of me too, was when you said about not having your photo taken with your boys! My daughter also has v. few pics of me/us/our family and will until I get a handle on my compulsive over-eating.:(

I think it's a great idea to start your diary even before you start CD. It may even prompt you to eat with 'more awareness' over the binge - I mean xmas period. :rolleyes:

I look forward to following your progress and hope that you too find the support and encouragement on minimins that I, and so many others, do.:)

Best wishes,

Jeanie x


Gone fishing
I really need to suceed now as the thought of yo-yoing through the rest of my life is horrible.

Yeee. I know that thought only too well :(

Are you going to make this diet the last one you ever do?


Hi Helen,

Reading your post is like reading about myself - without the kids bit. Aiming to start in Jan as well have set Jan 3rd as my day for starting.

Keep you starting date in sight and put measures in place to start on your chosen day.

Best of luck.


Never give up trying....!
Thanks everyone. I have just got up! (boys staying with their grandparents) and yet feel achey and tired still and could barely get out of bed because my joints all seem to seize up in the night.
This has to be the last time. I can't live a fat life. I hate it and don't recognise myself at all.


Never give up trying....!
Had a BIG shock today. I weighed myself. Don't have any scales at home, but went to my parents to pick up the boys and thought I would weigh myself for reference so I know my starting point. I thought I was still around 18stone.I am 19.6 !!!!!! I seriously am in shock. Had no idea that I had gained so much in recent weeks. We have been having a lot more takeaways than usual, as well as my regular snacks. This would explain my gasping for breathe and constant aches and back pains. My dad can barely look at me as I know he is so dispairing of the way I look. I look and feel so old and unkempt. I know why people think some fat people are dirty and lazy, because quite frankly,I am! I barely care to wash my hair, let alone style it and it's all because of a low self esteem because of my weight.
In shock tonight and unbelievable that I have let myself go so much.


Never give up trying....!
Christmas Eve 2006
we went out for tea tonight and I want to remember these feelings. Of course I had nothing decent or dressy up to wear, so just wore the trousers (elasticated) I had been in all day and a long top that wasn't very sympathetic to my shape (this top would be a dress on anyone smaller!) Wasn't that hungry, but of course managed to eat a starter of sticky ribs, pototato skins and garlic mushrooms which were very nice. Felt really hot and bothered as it was hot in the restuarant and I was concerned that the boys would kick off any minute as they were tired and not really intersted in eating at all, so I was eating too quickly. I had scampi and chips, which was delicious.I felt very bloated but didn't stop eating until it was all gone, then had a few spoonfuls of the boy's ice cream. Back home and a few hours later the bloating has subsided, so have managed pleanty of Quality Street chocs.
So, tonight, although nice to be out, was not very comfortable for me and how I wished I could have got dressed up and really enjoyed the night, rather than sitting in a corner feeling too big to move and too scruffy to care.

I have decided to begin the diet on Thursday 28th. Rob is going to take the boys to his parents for a few days, so that I can detox and be grumpy and headachey alone in bed if necessary and not have to do anything for a few days. Hopefully I will be in ketosis before going back to work then. Hope my plan works and I don't spend time alone at home bingeing more.


Loves VLCD's !
Hi Helen,
Starting on Thursday sounds like a good plan especially with the house to yourself. Make sure you treat yourself like a princess, have nice bath stuff, music, magazines etc so you can pamper yourself. Once you're in ketosis it will be ok !

Fingers crossed for you !


Never give up trying....!
Thank you.
I am in Wokingham, Berkshire Melissa.

Boots scales this morning: Getting red faced and thinking that everyone was looking at me. No scales at home.

My starting weight is:


BMI 51.2

Goal weight 9.12, so 10 stone to lose! OMG

Reasons con't:

25. Backache. Standing up for longer than a few minutes really makes my back hurt and I need to sit down again.
26. Bloated feeling all the time and very uncomfortable in bed.
27. I want to do so many things with my boys and not let me hold them back.
28. Housework is hard when you are fat.
29. Asahmed of myself. I thought 'morbidly obese' was something that happened to other people.
30. I want to live a fuller life, not a half life.
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The Diet Guy
Hiya Splodge

Welcome welcome welcome, look forward to watching you shrink and this time we gotta keep the weight off so lots of talk of future plans and strategies for keeping that weight off this time.

Good luck and hang in there that first week and nice to meet you.



Never give up trying....!
Thanks Mike. You were inspirational to me on your weight loss blog and I admire you for keeping it all off. I hope I can do it this time and stop messing about.


Loves VLCD's !
Hey Splodge,
You faced the scales, the worst bit is over ! Things will only get better in 2007. Totally understand all your reasons and sympathise, my health has improved rapidly even though I have only lost 4 stone and have at least 4/5 to go. I know its a long journey but results are quick and motivating.
Melissa x


You've done the hardest thing - making the decision to do something about your weight....For me too life can't be the same again - I cannot go back to any 'food habit' I had before - I have to discover new ones...... Well done for starting


Never give up trying....!
29th December 2006

I am home alone and loving it! Rob has taken the boys to his parents for a few days and I am so enjoying the freedom of not being at the mercy of 2 toddlers. 10.50am- first shake of the day, banana.

Yesterday was very sad. I get excema on my hands and a very sore bit had developed under my ring and wouldn't heal because the ring kept rubbing. I have gained about 8stone since the ring was first put on, so there was no way I could get it off my chubby fingers. So I went and got it cut off. Very sad that I will be without my engagement ring because there is no point in getting it fixed and resized until I finish the diet because I know my chubby fingers will go down too. Another self inflicted result.