so annoyed some ppl just won't even help themselves

cat yoyo greaves

Gold Member
After losing 2 stone with sw some of my friends have confided in me and asked for weightloss help so I have tried to help and given recipes cooked etc and my friend who was really upset the other day about her weight continues to eat utter junk and yes I know once in a while its fine but how often is once in a while .... It's every to every other day with this person .... I wouldn't mind but I've really tried to put myself out to help as she was so upset and wanted to change ..... Well that's what she said but today I've had to persuade her that mcdonalds isn't the answer after a night of binge drinking and so she has had poached eggs on toast ..... Because she's having pizza tonight .....I swear if I get the crying because the diets not working I will tell her straight n leave her to it as my efforts are wasted
 
Some people just cant be helped until theyre ready to change, unfortunatly your valiant efforts shall be continued to be wasted until shes ready to help herself. Atleast you can say you tried :) Dont let it stress you.x Congrats on your weight loss, fab!!
 
l0v3child said:
Some people just cant be helped until theyre ready to change, unfortunatly your valiant efforts shall be continued to be wasted until shes ready to help herself. Atleast you can say you tried :) Dont let it stress you.x Congrats on your weight loss, fab!!

I just am getting fed up of the whineing you have to make a few sacrifices to lose weight I did it was the only way I could change and those small changes have led to big losses and I don't miss my old lifestyle I have so much more energy now and can wear what I want to wear instead of what fits : ) and I still eat foods I like I just save the really really naughty treats for once every few months
 
Your friend is one of those people, it sounds like to me, that wants it, and wants it now. She wont realise the effort youve put in to tweaking your lifestyle and the mini changes youve made. Shes looking at you now, seeing youve lost weight and thinking i want some of that! I agree, even though it took me a couple of weeks to get into, i love SW, i feel so healthy with lots more energy! Im losing weight slow and steady, but every half lb adds up :) I would have lost the 6lb i have lost so far and put it all back on by now had i done it alone, and nothing would have changed or got any better, nor would i have learnt anything, because it would have been a crash diet.
Your friend needs to know that it takes time and she needs to try harder and use a little effort like you if she wants to succeed, is a McDs really that important....or do you wanna wear size 12 skinny jeans and teeny dresses in the summer? :p x
 
l0v3child said:
Your friend is one of those people, it sounds like to me, that wants it, and wants it now. She wont realise the effort youve put in to tweaking your lifestyle and the mini changes youve made. Shes looking at you now, seeing youve lost weight and thinking i want some of that! I agree, even though it took me a couple of weeks to get into, i love SW, i feel so healthy with lots more energy! Im losing weight slow and steady, but every half lb adds up :) I would have lost the 6lb i have lost so far and put it all back on by now had i done it alone, and nothing would have changed or got any better, nor would i have learnt anything, because it would have been a crash diet.
Your friend needs to know that it takes time and she needs to try harder and use a little effort like you if she wants to succeed, is a McDs really that important....or do you wanna wear size 12 skinny jeans and teeny dresses in the summer? :p x

Thanks for that xxx I know I wanna wear those jeans and as of a few weeks back I finally am size 18 to just about a 12 in 8 months :D stick at it it is sooooo worth the effort ..... And the compliments and I cope soooo much better in the heat now (and my legs don't rub) I hated being overweight so much
 
I've probably been this girl before. I've lost count of the number of times I said I wanted to change and made an attempt to genuinely change my eating habits falling off the wagon in the first few days or weeks. It's not that I didn't want or try to change or help myself, it's that I didn't have my head in the right place.

I can't explain it but when I joined slimming world I wasn't even thinking about dieting - quite the opposite I guess I was planning all sorts of calorific treats for my birthday - but I woke up one morning and apologies for the cliche but something just 'clicked'. I got up one morning and went to slimming world out of the blue, totally stunning my family and friends in the process as I hadn't even given them an inkling that I was wanting to seriously lose weight.

All of a sudden I had intense focus and drive that I've never had before - and I've never once deviated from plan since starting which is unbelievable when I think back to how I used to be.

I guess you can give someone all the help, advice and guidance you can but it will all be futile if the person you are trying to help hasn't had that 'click'in the head. If I were you I'd just concentrate on your own weight loss journey and be a shining example to her if nothing else. By all means encourage her and give her advice if she asks but when she throws it back in your face, although it must be hard try to let it go and not take it personally, it's her choice at the end of the day. And when she moans you can take pride in the fact you've chosen to change and made a real difference, whilst she has effectively chosen to stay the same.
 
Thanks for that xxx I know I wanna wear those jeans and as of a few weeks back I finally am size 18 to just about a 12 in 8 months :D stick at it it is sooooo worth the effort ..... And the compliments and I cope soooo much better in the heat now (and my legs don't rub) I hated being overweight so much

Your friend will only do something about it when she wants it more than eating too much of the wrong foods.

The next time she goes on about her weight don't jump in and volunteer suggestions or advice as this gets her off the hook as she does not have to think about it herself and in order for her to move forward she herself needs to look at her own life and see what changes she can make to make it happen.

Next time put the responsibility back on her and ask her what she plans to do to get the weight off...what does she think she could do about it that would suit her needs as perhaps she has her own diet ideas and ask when she hopes to be there, rather than when is she going to start as we all can suffer from procrastination and put things off but most people are moved into action if they give themselves a dead line... It could be something like a wedding next year, a birthday even a dream holiday where she would love to look her best.


In the mean time keep doing what you are doing as you are a very good role model and inspiration to her and she can see this with her own eyes as you continue to drop weight and enjoy wearing slimmer fitting clothes and good health.

Well done on your weight loss and getting into a size 12:happy096:
 
Thanks guys I needed that pep talk it was really getting to me I just kept thinking why ask if you don't want to change and it was driving me mad thankyou for your comments I will focus on putting my recipes and stuff on here where people appreciate it instead .... Haven't added a recipe to my blog for a bit will sink myself back into that :)
 
I went through exactly the same thing.
my boss came up to me after xmas and was talking to me about my weight loss and she wanted to do it etc.. so she joined s.w i helped her with recipes and other advice on how to figure things out. and for a month she was doing amazing, she came in every thursday and told us how much she had lost. and then she stopped telling us, and i could see her having a few odd 'snacks' here or there, whilst i was still going out of my way to give her recipes. so after 2 months, i just gave up trying, and i sit there now, look over and she's snacking on biscuits sweets or packs of crisps, that people bring in to share around.

when she complains i just shrug my sholders and say i can't lose the weight for you.
 
I went through exactly the same thing.
my boss came up to me after xmas and was talking to me about my weight loss and she wanted to do it etc.. so she joined s.w i helped her with recipes and other advice on how to figure things out. and for a month she was doing amazing, she came in every thursday and told us how much she had lost. and then she stopped telling us, and i could see her having a few odd 'snacks' here or there, whilst i was still going out of my way to give her recipes. so after 2 months, i just gave up trying, and i sit there now, look over and she's snacking on biscuits sweets or packs of crisps, that people bring in to share around.

when she complains i just shrug my sholders and say i can't lose the weight for you.

I have just seen your weight loss of 9 stone!:wow:

Well done:happy096:

[when she complains i just shrug my sholders and say i can't lose the weight for you. /QUOTE]

No magic wand for instant weight loss, it takes dedication, planning and hard work and the results show.
 
[when she complains i just shrug my sholders and say i can't lose the weight for you. /QUOTE]

No magic wand for instant weight loss, it takes dedication, planning and hard work and the results show.

Thanks.

thats all it is, time and effort.. is it wrong of me to be annoyed at people who think that just because i've lost weight i can take them to one side and say ''this is the secret''
there are no secrets, just eat right and move your body.. simple. but people expect it to be more complex.

Healthy eating * exercise / time = healthy weight loss

grrr :mad: @ some people
 
I went through exactly the same thing.
my boss came up to me after xmas and was talking to me about my weight loss and she wanted to do it etc.. so she joined s.w i helped her with recipes and other advice on how to figure things out. and for a month she was doing amazing, she came in every thursday and told us how much she had lost. and then she stopped telling us, and i could see her having a few odd 'snacks' here or there, whilst i was still going out of my way to give her recipes. so after 2 months, i just gave up trying, and i sit there now, look over and she's snacking on biscuits sweets or packs of crisps, that people bring in to share around.




when she complains i just shrug my sholders and say i can't lose the weight for you.
well done on your fantastic loss your before and after pic is fab what a change :D
 
Aw it is annoying that you're trying to help your friend and she's not interested people are just like that sometimes :) I was the same with my Hubbie and it went on like this for ages until the doctor told him he has to lose the weight at first he was half hearted but now that he's done his first week he seems a little more enthusiastic. You sound like a fabulous friend and keep it up :) xxxx
 
I've probably been this girl before. I've lost count of the number of times I said I wanted to change and made an attempt to genuinely change my eating habits falling off the wagon in the first few days or weeks. It's not that I didn't want or try to change or help myself, it's that I didn't have my head in the right place.

I can't explain it but when I joined slimming world I wasn't even thinking about dieting - quite the opposite I guess I was planning all sorts of calorific treats for my birthday - but I woke up one morning and apologies for the cliche but something just 'clicked'. I got up one morning and went to slimming world out of the blue, totally stunning my family and friends in the process as I hadn't even given them an inkling that I was wanting to seriously lose weight.

All of a sudden I had intense focus and drive that I've never had before - and I've never once deviated from plan since starting which is unbelievable when I think back to how I used to be.

I guess you can give someone all the help, advice and guidance you can but it will all be futile if the person you are trying to help hasn't had that 'click'in the head. If I were you I'd just concentrate on your own weight loss journey and be a shining example to her if nothing else. By all means encourage her and give her advice if she asks but when she throws it back in your face, although it must be hard try to let it go and not take it personally, it's her choice at the end of the day. And when she moans you can take pride in the fact you've chosen to change and made a real difference, whilst she has effectively chosen to stay the same.

Moneypenny - your post reads as if i'd written it myself! I was very similar to you, one day something did just click with me, I bought a SW magazine, made lots of the recipes and haven't looked back since. I really do think you need to be in the right place and the right frame of mind to succeed with this. Catyoyo, maybe your friend just isn't in that place yet. In her own time, she'll learn that pizza and McDonalds is not the way forward and will not help her lose weight. Until then, if I were you, I'd take a bit of a step back and let her realise she's not helping herself.
 
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