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Someday, I will be a beautiful butterfly, and then everything will be better!

Discussion in 'Slimming World - Weight Loss Diary' started by BugFace, 16 January 2014 Social URL.

  1. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Well i guess it's that time again!

    I won't give you the big ramble now but basically i have been dieting for over 20 years and i have been as high as over 20 stone and as low as 15 stone. It's pretty tragic that at 15 i was about 15 stone but hey, that's life....

    But onwards and downwards hey ladies and gents? I think i'm going to mix things up a bit by combining Slimming World, Slim Fast and 5:2. I have literally tried virtually every diet going and these were the 3 that gave me the best results. Slim Fast for breakfast (i don't do food well in the morning) and SW for lunch and dinner on food days and using SF as my 'food' on fast days. It might end up being too much of a mix but i'll give it a shot!

    Look forward to sharing my antics and ramblings with you all :blahblah:
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  3. Llamasoks

    Llamasoks Gold Member

    Hi and welcome!

    I'm not sure 3 plans would work all that well (2 probably better, think your body might get confused!), but I'm so subbing because I really want to see if it does, and I hope it works for you.

    Good luck! :)
  4. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Ok please tell me it's not just me that does this?
    "Oh i'll start monday"
    "Oh i'll start on the 20th because we have that dinner out"
    "Oh i can't start tomorrow, it's a saturday"

    Etc etc....

    I'm so sick of myself.
    Swift kick up the bum duly administered and i AM starting tomorrow. I am i am i am!!!
  5. upndown

    upndown Gold Member

    Hi - I've said all of those things sooooo many times and it seems I'm one of many yoyo dieters here - so ur in good company!

    Hope ur getting inspiration here and although I only started my latest diet on Jan 2 (last one I hope) I've fallen off wagon already but thanks to this site got back on.

    Hope u can get going - lots of support here and no need to worry when things don't go right either - we're all in the same boat!

    I find it easier to admit to my bad eating habits and lack of willpower here cos it's anonymous yet friendly/interactive.

    Plus typing & reading back my failures has made me take a long hard look at myself and with the inspiration of all the good losses posted here - 'm feeling more committed to lose weight than I have for a very long time.

    Hope Lady Willpower comes to you soon - good luck and keep posting/reading here!
  6. upndown

    upndown Gold Member

    hi - you've come to the right place - I'm new too - I think I've replied to u b4 - long day + I'm getting tired lol! Ur plan sounds good - I'll be interested to follow ur journey - good luck x
  7. LJ22

    LJ22 Silver Member

    Welcome, bugface. Yes I have said those things many times too. I agree with upndown that the anonymity makes it easier to be honest with ourselves and others here. I find it very therapeutic and people are so supportive. Nobody will judge you because we are all in the same boat. Start when you feel ready to and journey along with us to a slimmer you!
  8. fat2go

    fat2go Full Member

    Start when you honestly feel it's right for you and not because you think you should...If you start with the wrong frame of mind you're possibly setting yourself up to fail.

    One of the golden rules (I feel) is to believe you can do this...Don't doubt yourself for a second, you deserve to be the person you want to be - don't forget that either :) x
  9. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    That's the crazy thing. I want to do it. I've been dieting all this time and i'm running up a down escalator. I don't know, i'm really tired too. I did a 12 hour night shift last night and haven't slept since. Hopefully things will seem better after a good nights sleep!
    Thanks for replying everyone x
  10. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Yeah well don't hold out hope on that feeling better thing....

    I'm basically addicted to food. I've done the whole "i'll start on monday" thing. So of course, have thought i'll have a sort of last supper today. I've had McDonalds, chocolate, soda, crisps, sugar in my coffee etc... so i've eaten a decent amount of food right? So why have i just gone in the kitchen and got baby bugfaces chocolate out and started eating it. I don't even necessarily LIKE it. I'm eating it for the sake of eating, because it's there. I've known i have food addiction/Binge Eating Disorder for a while but it's getting actual help with it that's the hard bit.
    I mean i spent £11 on McDonalds today and the only thing that wasn't for me was a happy meal for BBF (Baby Bugface) and a coffee for my mum. That is something i would never admit to anyone i actually knew. Shameful secretive eating. I came home and put our meals out on the plate and sat in the kitchen and scoffed the other burgers quickly before i went in to sit down with him. Disgusting.
  11. Llamasoks

    Llamasoks Gold Member

    Oh Hun, you are so not alone, I think anyone on this site is at the end of their tether, that is after all why most people start dieting, because if it were easy to just turn around and say "I think I'll just stop eating what I like today" then everyone would look like supermodels. I've done secretive eating too, when I lived with my mum I'd buy a 6 pack of crisps and hide them in my room to eat them when I should have been sleeping! it's not as easy as people think, that you just eat less, it's an addiction, just the same way alcohol and cigarettes are. Half the time, I'll have a cheat meal and then sit there and go "I don't even like this...I didn't enjoy it, what was the point?", but yet do it again.

    The important thing is that you are HERE, you are asking for help, you are trying and you WILL succeed, it just takes time. Try again, and keep trying, there will be times when you screw up, you're human, nobody can stick 100% all the time, because if they could they'd be skinny in the first place. The only time you have failed is when you stop trying, dust yourself off, get back up and try again.

  12. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Oh Llama, you're right i know. It's just the shame thing. Obviously people know i eat too much because of how big i am, but not the extent of the issue. Thank you for the support though, it#s nice to know someone gets it.
    Today started really really well. 3 eggs scrambled on a slice of whole grain toast and lots of water. Put some banana and grapes in the freezer doe snacks. Planned that we would have meatballs (homemade and free) with hidden veg sauce, tons of water. I'd just planned a great day. When i picked BBF up he said he wanted chicken. Now i'm a single mum with an only child so it's no big issue to change things. So he said he wanted sweet and sour. So i figured i could syn the sauce, noodles and chicken were free.
    Right? WRONG.

    We ended up getting prawn crackers from the chinese and just shared a massive bar of chocolate. And i had a can of Dr Pepper. It's my first day fgs.

    Lets try again tomorrow?
  13. fat2go

    fat2go Full Member

    The best day to start is when you know 100% that you're happy to start...And, dare I add, you need people who are close to you to be on your side otherwise they will just sabotage your efforts. You have to be strong, it's as simple as that.
  14. Llamasoks

    Llamasoks Gold Member

    Look at in the way that your first half of the day was 100%, and brilliant, which is much better, I'm assuming that what you'd have eaten before, so it's not a total waste, even cutting out a few things is a step in the right direction.

    My first day was November 1st, and I actually didn't have a 100% day till the 13th! It takes time to change, even a little bit, but you're trying, you'll get to a 100% day and it'll kick start it for you. Have you tried talking to BBF? Maybe tell him that you can't afford to get a takeaway all the time but say you could try and make one yourself? You can make a sweet and sour chicken on SW and fried rice and noodles. I'm sorry if I've missed it that you've written it, but how old it the little one? I'm sure he'd also benefit from eating healthy, so even if it's hard for you to resist the Chinese (I'll admit, that's totally my weakness too!), remember it's not that great for him either, it might just help you along if instead of thinking "ooh, I can't have that" you'd be thinking "We should have something healthy as a family, and we CAN have treats, just planned ones for a reason" It'll help him too then he'll associate special food with special occasions and wont ask for it all the time!

    Keep trying, you'll get there, just think (not officially SW approved, I may get booted in the face for this) when you get to target, you can have a couple of treats more often if you're on plan the rest of the time without doing too much damage. You wont feel deprived forever, promise.
  15. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    He's 8 and quite switched on. Like he understands about saving money, why mummy has to go to work etc... so he'll get it. It's MY issue bless him. I actually made the sweet and sour, we only bought the prawn crackers. But it still wasn't 100% which bugs me. I'm a (failing) perfectionist!

    Today has been better. Cereal and sk milk for breakfast (hex A and syns) and home made soup for lunch. Working tonight so will take some pasta salad with me and maybe have some toast about 1am. I did have a creme egg but synned it. Lots of water and i'm swapping alternate coffees for ginger and lemon tea. I'm hoping the ginger will 'zing' me the same way coffee does!
  16. Llamasoks

    Llamasoks Gold Member

    Oh, sorry I didn't get that from your earlier post, you made it, that's great. Try not to worry about the crackers! There are much worse things you could have had! Though I'm the same, even if I go 1 or 2 Syns over I think the worlds going to end!

    Your day sounds really good so far, have you tried green tea? I always find it gives me a bit of a boost when I need a fix, I used to be a 7 cups of coffee a day girl so have cut right down and I think it does help!

    Good luck for the rest of the day!
  17. littlemissnaughty

    littlemissnaughty Gold Member

    Hello and welcome, good luck with your weight loss journey.
    You're in the right place, the people on here are fab and great at keeping you motivated.x
  18. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Had an ok day today. Scales say i'm down nearly 2lb already and every journey starts with a single step right?
    I didn't eat perfectly today, far from it. But rather than just saying screw it like i would have before and ruining the whole day, i picked right back up with the next thing i ate. Go me :D

    I have decided planning is key for me so i mixed some oats and a muller ready for magic pancakes tomorrow, going to have a mug shot and carrot sticks for lunch and then roast chicken, salad and potato wedges for dinner. Snacks will be fruit and sf jelly.I'm missing Hex b but i'll fit that in somewhere.

    All systems go for tomorrow!!!
  19. littlemissnaughty

    littlemissnaughty Gold Member

    Well done on your weight loss :)
    And a massive well done for sticking with it today, it can be so hard at times. I nearly had a wobble today as well but managed to stop my self.
    Yes planning is the key and emptying your cupboards of rubbish before you start.x
  20. Llamasoks

    Llamasoks Gold Member

    2lbs, that's brill! You seem to have gotten your head into it now!! :)
  21. BugFace

    BugFace Full Member

    Bit of a weird one today..

    If i was calorie counting i'd be laughing. But i'm not :(

    I had a coffee first thing, then started having a tidy up. Then my mate came round for a coffee and a chat and by the time he went it was 2.15pm. I realisied i'd not eaten :eek:

    By the time i'd got myself sorted and back from the school run and shopping it was 4pm. Bad times eh? Had problems with leaky washing machine and crappy Sky. Then i made dinner. Spaghetti with a Lloyd Grossman sauce (11 syns a jar) and i reckon i had nearly 3/4 of a jar. Put some parmesan on. Snacked on a fat free activia and sugar free jelly tonight. I've had a fair bit of water but essentially i've only eaten one meal and that makes me a bad egg!!

    So while it's not the worst day, it's also crap for my metabolism :mad:

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