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Diary Transfer

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
I had some pancakes today, from my new order, and they were so so different compared to the last batch. I dont know if they've changed the formula but the consistency was weiiiird!!!!! Tastes the same but for that. harder to cook
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
So 1kg loss this week. Not bad considering I had knocked myself out of ketosis and stepped upto 1000cal from saturday. Learned a lesson in health and noticing yourself floundering and taking action! I had gone back in to ketosis again but I either just have a headache or i've bumped myself out somehow... Perhaps 1000 calories only works for ketosis if you have less product. I will have to play around with that for a week. So 11 weeks on Exante 800 has seen me drop 28kg, or 61lb 7oz, or 4st 5lb 7oz, or an elephant's penis (Thanks mazza for the idea comparisons). I have also lost 33.5 inches, or 85cm. Nearly a metre of my excess body weight has vacated the premises. I can stand up straight and walk with almost no pain most days, albeit with a racing heart (bummer); I have collar bones and improved posture; I can breathe and sleep better; my blood pressure spikes have reduced and I had to reduce medication a lot (that was happening before the diet so hard to be sure what caused what); and I just feel better in my emotional state. I have achieved many non weight related things too, which I contribute to having a control over something in my life reaffirming that I can achieve many things. So all in all, not a bad 11 weeks! 2 on Cambrige and 9 on Exante, have to say I prefer the choice on Exante and not having to check in and deal with another human for products. Also, I saw an exante advert on youtube and i've been saying it wrong... was saying exant... but its apparently exantay haha.

One thing I am shocked by is that losing almost 4 1/2 stone has seemingly not changed my dress size. I am still in a size 20 or 22 which is just a HUGE life lesson... DO NOT WEAR STRETCHY CLOTHES IF YOU WANT TO BE AWARE OF YOUR BODYWEIGHT. The other life lessons i've been learning have been around trauma or repeating life struggles and poor personal boundaries/self care. As I have been healing those things i've gotten better at saying no and stepping into what is right for me and away from who/what/where is wrong. I am becoming more aware of my limits, my edges, my hard yeses and now and my more fluctuating boundaries. As I had been doing that work, this diet has been enabling me to do the same with my actual body... to redefine what comes in and out, what i'm aware of, where I am and how I am stood in space... these all sound like things we are all doing, but as you're reading this when was the last time you noticed how the skin of your back felt, or the back of your calves? Could you describe how your left arm feels without thinking about it for ages, or even after? We're all disconnected from our felt senses, our proprioception, and it's how we are meant to feel safe as a human animal being. I've been learning all about it and why its important, how to use the sense to heal and how to use it to achieve more and be more productive and present. Its gradual work but this diet has been a huge part of reclaiming myself/my body too. It's why I was so funny firstly about being aware of my losses and changes, rather than a scale and a culture telling me what I should be seeing.

So after I am done, I am not going to wear stretchy clothes anymore, unless its once or twice a week. If at all. I always felt like fitted clothes were really uncomfortable, but I also really, really struggled with boundaries too and with being and feeling contained. Its all connected and its a lesson I need to note for myself! My body needs containment to know where it is!!

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So experimenting now with 4 products and 200cal protein, but might have to change that to 2 or 3 products and 400/600cal either spread into 2 meals or a meal and some snacks. We shall see! Starting at 4 and 200 like I have done over the weekend. Literally starting with pure boring plain protein like tuna or egg or quorn.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Just put in my order for another 100 products while I have the money for the bigger order. I've got another week and a bit of 1000 calories with 4 products and protein, then I ordered 3 products for 2 weeks and will stick at 3 products, 400cal protein/lowcarb veg (1000 cal total) and then I have just under a month of 2 products a day which I will do at 1000 (2 products, 600cal protein/lowcarb veg) calories. It might be a much finer balance with the 2 products to stay in ketosis but i'll figure it out! That'll take me to about 7ish weeks at 1000 calories, but with reducing products and increasing foods gradually from the 800 list or the CD step 2 list. I will see where I am at then with shape change and well being and perhaps shift to 1200 calories if I am allowed to do proper exercise - see what cardiologist says. For the 3 products i've got a breakfast thing, a bar and a shake and for the 2 products on I have a bar and a shake.

Thats the loose plan, will see how it goes. Had maple syrup pancakes for the first time today... nice! I wish the sweet stuff wasn't my favourite ha
 

Mazza

Serial poster
Hi @FaeFaeFiFi just catching up after being AWOL for a few days. Do you use ketostix (or whatever they're called) to check if your in ketosis. From what I've been reading, the plan, since it went to 800 + calories means you probably won't be in ketosis, due to the grams of carbs you'll be consuming. I've therefore assumed I'm not?

Well done on the kilo loss, taking you to elephant penis status 😂😂 which is very impressive in 11 weeks! I'm hoping to get bald eagle status tomorrow 👍
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Heya :) everything ok with the awol?
Nah I don’t I can just tell by how I feel! The plan isn’t to do 800+ calories though, it’s 800 including calories isn’t it? I knew 1000+ might shift. Cambridge’s old 1000 step was ketogenic though with the products not at four and extra calories. I think it’ll be about a balance! I’m ovulating too and always get hungry then and period so might be that... will know in a few more days!! Haha

if you’re not hungry, no headaches etc then you’ll be in ketosis in very low calories like 800. You’d bloody well know if you weren’t haha.

Good luck bald eagle, over and out from elephant d*ck pahahahaha
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
I have felt like I am on day 4 1/2 of pre ketosis for days now... the headachey stage... Some days better than others. I have been sticking to the exact same thing. I don't know whether to drop down to just 4 products for a few days and then drop one and add more calories that way... will see!! Or maybe i'll just stay here for 2 weeks as I am and trundle through as planned. Perhaps thats a better idea.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
So I am not hungry with headaches anymore so I think it was a hormonal thing after all, but I shall keep monitoring. I've been having some of the allowable veg with protein now instead of just protein for 2 weeks. Its boring otherwise haha. I realised though that I have been having my 4th pack really late compared to usual.... 8/9pm... and this has shifted it so that I am not having any calories for 16 hours...like the 8:16 intermittent fasting thing.... I usually would have a pack at 730/8 and last one at 5ish so it was closer to that... I was planning that I would do that pattern of intermittent fasting for maintenance, but also 5:2 pattern only on the 2 days i'd be allowed to not do the 8:16 haha. Anyway, I think I will work my way back to that pattern once I drop another pack and spread the extra calories out more.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Bit hungry today and I had the sausages i'd been having again yesterday, so I think those may be the culprit... again, monitoring haha! Measure day tomorrow. Not sure what to expect but shall persevere : )
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
1 kg loss and .5 inch loss today. I think it might have been 1.5 inch but I measured weird but Ive made a point of not arguing with the measurements and just going with them haha. Happy with that for a finding my feet at more calories week! Have felt less dizzy too.
 

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FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Last night I felt miserable and got myself an Indian. I could beat my self up about it but my body is doing that for how absolutely **** I feel today! All sweaty and bloated, sore belly and mildly nauseous. I told myself I’d have a day off for two meals yesterday and today as it’s my friends birthday, but I’m not gonna do today in the same way too. When food comes in, it gets easier to say feck it, and when you say feck it, it’s too easy to spiral. Being able to prevent the spiral is the only way I will be able to maintain when I am all off this diet plan.

so no spiralling, no beating myself up, just a reminder to get back on track always. The only failure is failing to keep trying when able!
 

Mazza

Serial poster
Hi @FaeFaeFiFi sorry to hear your feeling rubbish. Hope you feel better soon.

You're right having food around can lead to temptation and feck it moments but we shall overcome them 🙂
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
I've gotten somewhat waylaid with the whole 1000 calories thing!!! I have excused myself into having a reset time off, getting it out my system and recommencing the way I first started the diet in the beginning.... upping water and reducing carbs for 3 or 4 days and then starting on 4 products. I'll take that as my break after 12 weeks on a very low calorie diet and then get my **** together and get back on it. I'm not entirely sure whats triggered it but feeling a bit mopey, alone and unsupported the last week or so (in day to day life not forum life) and there seems to have been a self sabotage thing. I've learned to allow those emotions in a semi controlled way, so they don't get stuck, but with a sterner ending when enough is enough... so back to it monday, but not going crazy between now and then.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
The **** is together and my brain is in motivated mode. Time for a new plan. I have updated all my goals, rewards and what not. I'm not calling it a restart, like I would have in years gone by. Its a lesson and a realisation. I had been feeling like I was missing out, then thinking about the way life would be 'post diet'. I realised that my brain was expecting to go back to my normal at the end, and normal meant eating like **** more often. And I am reminded now of when I was pregnant and thinking things would go back to normal after i'd had my daugther, and boy I was wrong. There was a new normal... a harder normal but a better normal on the whole. So this is a rebirth... not from now onwards, but this whole process. Life cannot go back to 'normal' after diet. And this cannot be 'a diet' anymore... these are the first steps to completely overhauling life and my relationship to food, to control, to health and to well being. I mad a conscious decision to just stop following 'a plan' for the rest of last week. I got out of my system eating foods and stuff that had an unhealthy pull from them to me because I know that 'at the end' I just can't go back to them and that way. So thats my justification to myself and also the time off a VLCD that you need to have. My mind is ready now, my body is ready.

I lost an inch and gained an inch elsewhere and I also gained 3kg. I don't know how much of that is weight gain and how much is water retention and premenstrual, but i'm taking it on the chin. It's been a useful process to learn more about my journey and myself, my expectations and what I need to notice, but its time to get focussed again. Ive been appalling at drinking water. My resting heart rate is 30bpm more than it was without **** food. Also I had 1 glass of malibu to celebrate being 'a father' and commiserate her having an absent one, and it make me feel pretty awful, as it had every time since she's been born so I doubt i'll be able to drink in future too. So big learning curves, small changes one at a time to a newer lifestyle.

I'm going to do four days of 0 carbs but however much food I need. I am going to up the water significantly every day until i'm back at 2.5/3L a day at least. At day 5 I will start back on Exante 800. I am going to do the 3 products, one 200 cal meal, and I am going to stick to only that. I have numbered the weeks with letters after them to mark this next 12 weeks. A further 12 weeks takes me to the end of my projected time target, and if my BMI drops below 25 in that time I will have to increase my calories. I will have to reassess as I go along regarding my heart rate, but on the whole I feel much much healthier without the junk and feeling in control of myself. I am starting with a meal from the off because I need to rebalance that food relationship.... This black and white, all or nothing life cannot continue. I need to learn balance to sustain healthy change.

So hears to the middle way... And I feel back in the right head space.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Ps.
It has been another productive time, because letting go of my grip on obsessive control for a little while let in a lot of ideas for personal life, ways to get un stuck and bring about other changes. I have some new business venture ideas and enrolled also on a P/T OU degree for later in the year. Positive on the whole. I told my friend I felt like the weight that fell off easily is symbolic of the stuff I had carried because of others... guilt, shame, trauma, fears, conditioning and so on that weren't me, but that I thought were. And the stumble was the point where I had to be more responsible for my own place and part in the burdens I carry in my heart and on my body... the things that make it harder and heavier to 'be'. So now I am in a phase of being more responsible for myself. After summer solstice, a solar eclipse and the numerology new year.... it felt pertinent to acknowledge that quickly.

PPS. My measure, photo, weigh day will switch to a Friday from after this point.
 
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FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
Now on day four of no carbs... back to products tomorrow. Still have my period so can imagine it would have been excruciating to try and start on products 4 days ago when super premenstrual haha. So tomorrow I will measure, weigh and take photos for phase 2! :) Have been doing much better with the water.
 

FaeFaeFiFi

Full Member
First day back to products today for week 13a (I think? maybe 14a lol). Measurements Bust 40, waist, 37, hips 44.5, arm 14 and thigh 21.5. Weight 96kg. I was 98kg on Monday so its probably safe to say that some of my gain was actually due to having menstrual cycle. Water retention and whatnot. So back to it with a porridge pot and black coffee this morning, pint of water down already. Here we gooooo!

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