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Sometimes I really wonder about myself...

Cookeh

Recovering Cookie Addict
#1
Hi Folks

You're not going to believe this, I can hardly believe it myself, but for some reason, despite doing fabulously well back on track I decided to eat last week O.O Not just a nibble of a chicken leg, I mean EAT, like *before*. I have absolutely no excuse for it other than I had an overwhelming urge to have it, like my life depended on it, and so I ate... pigged actually. Then on Friday I started back on LT, until late evening and I pigged again... then on Saturday I started on LT and.... and on Sunday I started on LT and.... -.-

WTH is wrong with me?!!! I feel so ill, so tired, and I admit that SINCE eating (not before) I feel really down. I'm trying to think what came over me, why I did it, and other than just wanting the food I really can't think what it was that made me sabotage myself.

Of course, I have paid the price dearly with 5lbs of water/glycogen/fat back on in those few days, and also all my energy has gone. My intention is to start afresh today... ah, just like Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I don't know if I will make it to the end of the day but I'm going to give it my best shot, I will NOT give up trying, and if it takes me 5 weeks like last time, then so be it, but I will be slim damn it!!! >.<

Sorry, had to get it off my chest, I'm so disappointed in myself and angry that I lost control... AGAIN -.-
 
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#2
Hey cookeh don't beat yourself up well not too badly anyway look
at what you have achieved so far you've done amazing I'm sure
you'll get back on track if you stay positive and motivated we
all have slip ups!!! Chin up and stick to it today crack the first
day and you'll be fine and that 5 lb of water etc will be gone within 2 or
3 days :) *hugs*
 
#3
oh bless you , i know how you feel as I went through similar feeling .. although I was able to do soemthing positive before I go tthat far .. I did so well on LT for about 15 weeks .. then hit a wall .. I knew I was going to fail .. so I have swapped to CD SS+ plan , which is 3 shakes ands a 200 calorie meal .. making 610 calories a day .. and still an average loss of 12-14 lb per month .
I feel so much better as I can look forward to that 'meal' all day .. it is a very controlled amount of certain foods .. but I feel so much better both mentally and physically .. and it may be worth looking into to for you .. you have done so well so far and sometimes a change is much better than a rest .. you can get the rest of the weight off .. but its worth thinking about doing it a slightly different way ??
I lvoe this plan and the shakes , bars and soups taste amazing too :)
 
#5
Maybe it's what you needed to either spur you on or just to get some nutrients from the food. As the others have said, don't beat yourself up - you've done SO well so far so you should feel really proud of yourself. Remember why you started in the first place and get that willpower back and start again. Good luck
 
#6
dont worry hun like the others have said just draw a line under it and start again. i ate friday sat sunday as well as i want sure i was coming back but went and got a new weeks stash thismorning and had put 4lb on... just gotta get back on the horse and try not to let it happen again!
good luck hun
hugs
nic x
 

irish molly

Maintaing LT loss on GL
#7
Oh Cookeh, what happened to you at all??? You are usually so focussed and have your head in the right place. You did the right thing by posting about wha happened. Was it just a desire for food or have you stuff going on that has put your head out of gear??? Have a long hard think about where you are at the minute.
You have done very well on LT but maybe it is not the way forward for you right now. Maybe a switch to another regime may give you a renewed focus or maybe you just need a break to get yourself focussed for a proper restart. Thinking of you
 
#8
Hi Cookeh
Why don't you have a short break from LT? You know yourself that your head needs to be in the right place, and if yours isn't it won't work. You can't do it because you think you ought to, only because you REALLY want to. Relax and take a break lovie. Do some reading and serious thinking and start LT when you're ready if you think it's the right way for you to continue.

You've been through a lot recently and LT will still be here in a month's time.

Jon
xxx
 
#9
Hello Cookeh - gosh I so understand how you're feeling! Y'know there must have been a cause to make you fall - something was going on in your head or around you that you suddenly needed so badly to be comforted. You need to try and work out what it as so that you actually gain something from this experience and its not all negative. I thing the idea of changing over to CD might well be the answer for you -you have lost a lot and done so well - a slight change of direction could boost your confidence again and inspire you to keep going. Be brave - be strong - you are still in charge of you!
 

Jeep

Otherwise known as Jools
#10
Awww Hugs Cookeh - you are human and these things happen - you know that you have done wrong and you know what you need to do change it but dont put pressure on yourself. You have done amazingly well so far and you will again. Maybe a change of regime might be whats required to refresh your mojo. You will come through this and be amazingly successful again. xxxx
 

Cookeh

Recovering Cookie Addict
#12
Thank you for all your lovely words of support. I'm back on the LT bandwagon again, day 2, but to get me into ketosis I'm supplementing with a tin of tuna in springwater over and above the 3 shakes a day. It's not perfect but it'll do the job and I am prepared to do whatever it takes.

I'm not going to be changing to CD, or any other plan, for the moment, I just can't. If I was to introduce a load of new flavours and choices I just know that my cravings and out of control eating would come back and I'm just not ready yet - as the weekend's slip up shows.

I'll stick with LT, cutting out the tuna as soon as my appetite diminishes. I do really need to look into some help for my eating compulsions though so that I have the tools I need before I come off LT for good at the end of my weightloss journey.

These struggles are teaching me important lessons about myself, and in a weird sort of way, I'm kind of glad that it's happening now so that I can learn to cope before the end comes.

I weigh in tomorrow and no doubt the scales will definitely be up on last week (I had gained 5lbs as of yesterday but we'll see what tomorrow shows) but am not letting it get me down, that next mini goal will be mine next week, I'll make sure of it!
 
#13
Good luck Cookeh.
I'm sure you're right: if you have food addictions as I had/have (?) LT is better than CD. I'm now using some CD products to help for maintenance and they are very nice but would have certainly sent me down a very dangerous path when I was losing the weight. Some of the bars are just like sweets and a world away from the LT peanut flapjacks, but hey they worked for me and they will work for you.
All the best Cookeh (and knock the tuna on the head as soon as you can).

Jon
xxx
 
#14
good luck hun you sound like youve got a plan and are back in the mindset so im sure you will be back and succesful very soon keep it up hun xxx
 
#16
I'm so worried that i'll do this within no time at all, you've lost so much weight already... i can only hope i can do as well as you have so far! I have no will at all... or at least i never have had any will, i hope that this will change me. I should say this WILL change me rather than "i hope". x
 
#17
I'm so worried that i'll do this within no time at all, you've lost so much weight already... i can only hope i can do as well as you have so far! I have no will at all... or at least i never have had any will, i hope that this will change me. I should say this WILL change me rather than "i hope". x
 
#19
*hugs* Cookeh.

There's nothing wrong with you sweetie, you're only human.

You've been through so much lately, don't be so hard on yourself.

Take your time and work out what is best for your health and well being. Try to find out why you did what you did, so that you can try to prevent it from happening again.

Good luck for the following week and get those goals ticked off!
 


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