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Son's words...devastating

S: 16st4lb G: 10st0lb
#1
My oldest son (7) is and always has been a poor eater and would be at the very lowest end weight for his height ..dinner time today he ate only 1/4 piece of chicken and nothing else...breakfast was a piece of toast and lunch was a yogurt ...when I challenged him today he says he doesn't ever want to eat cos he doesn't ever want to be fat like me and ran off crying...devastated....am I so horrible to my own son's eyes
 
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bevsy

Full Member
S: 18st8lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st2lb BMI: 31 Loss: 4st12lb(26.15%)
#2
Awwww purple that must of hurt, please please don`t take it to heart a child of that age will be honest brutally at times. My son said to me when he was 6 we went out for dinner i had a dessert and he said "mummy no wonder your fat" inside i was devastated but kept it together. Let your son see that your doing something about your weight take him with you on a walk and talk about things, children sometimes have reasons for saying these things it may be someone has said something to him his peers etc. i found talking and including my son in my journey helped he was a terrible eater but helping me to cook he tried things that he would just of refused before.
Again chin up and carry on, you can do it xxxxxx
 
S: 16st4lb G: 10st0lb
#3
Thanks for your kind words Bevsy. It has me totally gutted...I've no self esteem as it is, this just makes it worse and I have to admit it caused a huge binge :-(
 
#4
Don't take it to heart purple kids don't mean it. My toddler said I have a big tummy and its wobbly he's obsessed with grabbing it. Then he said have you got a baby in your tummy! Kids don't think what they say : ) x
 
S: 13st4.5lb C: 13st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 25.8 Loss: 0st1.5lb(0.8%)
#5
Definitely don't take it to heart! My son sat on my tummy and rocked side to side saying wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate : S you are doing something about your weight and eating healthy so that is the main step xx
 

bevsy

Full Member
S: 18st8lb C: 13st10lb G: 12st2lb BMI: 31 Loss: 4st12lb(26.15%)
#6
Tomorrow is another day purple, don`t worry about the "binge" start afresh tomorrow and maybe have a talk with your son, there could be an underlying answer why he said and did what he did. DON`T beat yourself up just refocus and kick that diets ass xxxx
 
#7
I think you both sound like you need a cuddle. You are the centre of your son's universe and he does love you unconditionally. I really think this has come about due to something negative he has heard from somewhere. Although you feel hurt at the moment it sounds like the right time to sit him down and have a heart to heart and get to the bottom of how this has come about so you can find a constructive way to deal with it. Big hug and best wishes x.
 

nettie

Gold Member
#8
Aww hun, when kids say these things they don't mean it in a horrible way. Do you ever tell him or does he hear you say that you are fat or anything like that? If he picks up on your own insecurities then he may be linking food with feelings rather than the way you look. I may be wrong so please don't be offended by that.
 
S: 16st4lb G: 10st0lb
#9
Nettie I think you've hit the nail on the head...I'm really unhappy with myself and obviously he is picking up on this... I've sat him down and talked about healthy eating and me being overweight and I've asked him to help me by walking with me in the evenings. I don't exercise at the mo so this will work both ways maybe. Thanks everyone for your kind words.
 
#10
I have a 6 year old daughter and a 9 year old son and we are very open about our feelings in our house, I think you have done the right thing in talking to him so that he has a full understanding of what's going on.
 
#11
As everyone else has said, don't take it to heart. My 3 year old son says if he eats chocolate he will get fat like mummy! He also comments on how big my belly and bum are. It does hurt, but they don't mean it how it sounds. Forget the binge, what's done is done. Get back on track and good luck for the rest of your journey x
 
S: 16st4lb G: 10st0lb
#12
Today is a new day and aiming for 100%. I gave my son a mission lol He has to help me to lose the weight by reminding me and coming with me each evening for a walk. Explained about my being overweight and that I only ever give him healthy meals etc. Hope this will help!
 

madmumof3

Full Member
S: 12st5lb C: 10st7lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 25.6 Loss: 1st12lb(15.03%)
#13
Bless you, when you've both calmed down just explained to him it's not eating that makes someone overweight, it's eating the wrong things!

So eating chicken and veg is not going to make him fat. Be as honest with him as you can, it sounds like he just needs a bit of reassurance that eating healthy food is ok, even if you eat loads of it.

I would actually take him along to one of your SW meetings so he can hear it from the 'expert' :D
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#15
Well done for turning that one around Positively Purple - for both of you. Big virtual hug whizzing in your direction x
 

welshgirl21

Silver Member
S: 14st7lb C: 12st7lb G: 10st3lb BMI: 29.1 Loss: 2st0lb(13.79%)
#16
Big hugs hun, you will both enjoy your walks together and he will love being a part of your journey and helping you. Maybe you could sit with him and talk about what meals he would like to eat that are healthy, borrow some children's recipe books from the library and adapt them to slimming world for you, make the shopping list together for the meals so he is a part of the healthy shop and giving his input into what he would like to have in the house to eat.

xx
 

chocko1

Gold Member
S: 12st6.0lb C: 11st1.5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 25.1 Loss: 1st4.5lb(10.63%)
#18
It quite choked me up when I read your post, positively purple but, like all the other guys said, including him in your decisions is the first step towards a happy, healthy future together and, what could be better than leading by example? Keeping connected to this amazing site will give you all the encouragement and support you need too. Big hugs to you both and, well done for taking the first step. :) xx
 
S: 15st3lb C: 14st8lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.9 Loss: 0st9lb(4.23%)
#19
:grouphugg:

I feel for you, it can be hard when your children say things about you, they really do not understand how much they hurt you with it.

Teaching your son about healthy balance eating is your best way forward and getting him to join in. I used to take my daughter to class with me and she loved chatting with the others there. She loved the tasting evening as well and would help me make something to take and pick up the recipes that others had made.

Let him see you enjoying eating healthy meals and hopefully he will then join in and eat more.

Your journey has start, and I wish you the best of luck. x
 

gazter

needs to get a life
S: 21st9.5lb C: 12st7.5lb G: 12st7.5lb BMI: 24.5 Loss: 9st2lb(42.17%)
#20
My oldest son (7) is and always has been a poor eater and would be at the very lowest end weight for his height ..dinner time today he ate only 1/4 piece of chicken and nothing else...breakfast was a piece of toast and lunch was a yogurt ...when I challenged him today he says he doesn't ever want to eat cos he doesn't ever want to be fat like me and ran off crying...devastated....am I so horrible to my own son's eyes
This is probably not about you being fat, but about you being unhappy about you being fat, in his eyes he sees them as the same thing.
 


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