Sorry...its me again!!

Sez

has started again!!
After spouting loads of advice I find I am not strong enough to take it myself. Just had a great big sobbing fit whilst getting their tea. I am sooooo hungry, and I have no idea why. Felt ok all day, and just utterly miserable, a complete turnaround for no obviuos reason. I am worried what kind of example I am setting my 8 yr old daughter, who is beautiful and gorgeous and totally scrummy. I worry that she will think it is normal not to eat, whereas we know it is so not normal.

I feel so mad I could scream, after this all my own fat fault... why the h*** am I putting myself through this?


God I sound pathetic, sorry for myself and useless...

Sorry guys, had to sound off.....off to have long soak in the bath now...:badmood:
 
Don't apologise, we're all here to support each other good times and bad. Now go off and enjoy a nice soak in the bath.

Hugs
 
Hey don't worry about sounding off - this is the perfect place to do it. I'd much rather see people post their bad/low feelings in here than them hold it in inside and struggle with it.

You're putting yourself through this so that you will be happier and healthier in the future, stick with it and you'll soon be there (((hugs)))

Cath
 
Hi Sez- hope you had a wonderful bath. Now listen up!:psiholog:

You have given loads of great advice on the threads and its time to get some back. First of all, try saying back to yourself all the positive things you have been sayinghere on this forum. You can do this- you have made a choice to do something totally amazing for yourself- and that will have an additional pay off for your daughter and all your family because you will be fitter, healthier and happier when you achieve your goal. You could explain to your daughter that her mum has decided to do something wonderful for the family and that means she has to work very hard at something for a few months. Also, don't let her think you are not eating- you are eating but it is special food to help make mum healthy.

I know it must be so hard cooking for the kids. I cook for my partner most days, but I tell myself it is a test- I don't need to pick or nibble because I am not hungry- and that way try to get a better relationship with food. So every time i cook and don't pick it is a triumph. I also make sure I have a soup or shake at the same time, so again I am getting my reward.

Be good to yourself Sez and you can and will get through the hard times. You have one of the biggest support systems available here on this forum and everyone here knows what you are going through and will support you every step of the way.

:hug99: for you
Kx
 
Hi Sez,

Big hugs:hug99:

Your advice and support is spot on as you are walking your talk.

It is just that there will be days when all the will in the world does not seem to help and we feel down. It is okay, it is just at times like this it is so easy to throw in the towel.

Hope you have a lovely bath and some times a good cry works wonders as well.

Set yourself some mini goals and as you reach each one treat yourself to something like a magazine or face pack, something just for you.

Have you wrote down the reasons you started this diet and what it is you want to achieve for yourself now and in the future.

And just remember this is not a race but a journey and you will get there.:)

Love Mini xxx
 
Hey sez, i think i know how you're feeling. for the last couple of days i've been really up and down. one minute i'm happy and excited about becoming slim, the next minute it all feels really hard and i start telling myself i'm putting myself through hell for nothing and its never gonna work anyway, i've always been fat and always will be! then i cry and feel pathetic. i've been keeping a journal which i find helps, i use pretty pens and stickers and stuff. sounds silly but i find it distracts me, helps me come to terms with why i'm feeling the way i am and it takes up some time!

At my last meeting my llc said that this week (4) might be hard cos the novelty of the packs is wearing off so what you're feeling is perfectly normal. it's not rational but its normal so try not to take it all to heart. sometimes we need to cry, it's our body's way of getting rid of the bad stuff :hug99:

Gemma x
 
:thankyou: You are all so good for me! I have had a good cry, and my gorgeous Yankee Candles (of which I am a total addict) are, as I speak, scenting my bathroom, ready for my soak!!

I'll be ok. Just a blue moment I guess, I do know its worth it and come Thurs (my WI) I know I will be ok!

:grouphugg:to all of you out there in Minimin land!
xx
 
I can't give much useful advice I'm afraid as I'm just at the beginning of this journey myself.

But I just wanted to say, don't be too hard on yourself - the fact that you have started LL and have posted here is, I think, brave in itself as you're doing this for you health which in turn will benefit your family as you'll be healthier and happier to enjoy them.

You've supported others so make the most of everyone here and get support when you need it too.

Maybe set yourself some mini goals and when you achieve them, get a lovely new Yankee candle.

Sending you a big :grouphugg: and hope you feel a little more relaxed after your bath ;)
 
Hi Sez, Just to reiterate what the others have said, you are definitely not alone. I had a bad moment today, and it was only a brief moment, but whilst it was there it was horrible.
I was out with my partner and his father today, and they decided that whilst we were in the Garden Centre it would be a good idea to have a bite to eat. I ordered my black coffee, and tried to sit whilst they ate their meals. It was quite a compact table, and the look and the smell of the food was just too much, and I was desperately trying to look away, at anything! I suddenly felt tears building up in my eyes and felt so incredibly low. I had all the feelings you mentioned, like 'why the hell am I doing this to myself'? Even though I have had so many positive comments on my weight loss, at that moment in time it just seemed too hard. I apologised to them and explained that I would have to leave the table and take another browse around the Garden Centre until they had finished their meal (I think it would have put them off their food if I sat in a pool of tears!).
Now that moment is over, and I feel strong again. This diet really is a rollercoaster of emotions, but when it happens again (and it probably will) please try to remember that this really is the best thing you are ever likely to do for yourself, and you deserve this wonderful life-changing journey.
 
Hey Sez

ur full of reason - you knocked some reason into my thick head!!!!!

hang in there ;)
 
Hia Sez,

When I was in week 7 of the programme we went to Majorca for a week, self-catering. I took all my packs with me and was determined to stay on them, and not eat.

We ate out about once a day (cooked at the apartment at other times) and I sat there sipping sparkling water while the rest of the family tucked into chinese, seafood, italian, greek, british, french, or american meals every evening. When the going got tough, I got out the thought record sheets (I'd photocopied them from the book) and filled them in. It usually took a while and by the time I'd finished, the worst was over, I'd got over my 'pity party' moment and remembered why I was doing LL in the first place!

Here I am today reaping the benefits of staying on the packs and not giving in and not eating. It is truly a great place to be - I can thoroughly recommend it!
 
HI sez!

Huge big massive hug for you... many of us can relate exactly to your sentiments and I know how hard it is but I admire you so much.. lean on us for a change.. we'll get through this!
 
Another big thanks to you all! Bath over, feeling a bit better now although very mad with OH. My daughter joined me in the bathroom, then the bath!!, read me a story and told me that "When you are thin Mummy, I am going to teach you to ride a bike" (As you can surmise I just wobble and fall off now.) All the while, I was thinking that she and my son are why I am doing this and that is so worth it!

My beef with OH is that whilst I sobbing like a baby I sat next to him on the sofa, he with his arm around me. Sadly, Iknew he was not in the least interested as he did not speak, console or whatever, just carried on watching his sci-fi prog on Sky.
When later I asked if he surely would have occasional problems too if he were in need of a plan like this, he replied "No, I would just get behind it and zone everything else out." Hmmmmmm... methinks I will now Zone Out by not preparing any more of his meals.....
 
Hiya Sez

My OH is really so supportive it's not true but there have been occasions when he just didn't think!! Men are so black and white, it is in their make up, you either do it or you don't!! I think it is very hard for anyone to console when they have no idea what you are going through. We all can on here as we have first hand experience and have been through every kind of emotion possible!!

I have a young daughter, 9 actually, and I like you was so concerned about how the diet would affect her attitude to food! I always refer to LL now as programme to make me fit and healthy and never mention the words diet, fat, slim etc. Imust say that her attitude to food had changed slightly and she is now saying "will this make me healthy mum?" etc etc and has made no reference to body shape or size!!

I want to send you a serious amount of cyber hugs because I know this canbe tough at times. Just remember why you are doing this,lookat your goals and most importantly make time for you!!

let us know how you are doing today xxxx
 
Hi sez

Just logged on & caught your thread. I can totally empathize with you I have been having it really tough and my emotions are so up & down it's not true (read through my threads my life is like a soap opera!!!)

It is part of the process so you are not alone. You can do this & we are all behind you 100%

x
 
Thanks Toots et al. My OH has been amazing really, just, as you say, it is all black and white for him, and there is no weight problem for him. I guess total understanding comes from actually being there, as it were. I love him to bits, and I know he is there for me.

This am I happily survived bacon and egg butties, and ate half a bar and two black coffees! All ok for now.....and some friends visited and asked if we fancy a late break this summer! What an added incentive to crack on!!

Thindom here I come!

xxx
 
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