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Squeezes diary week 1

Ok so woke up today (day 2) feeling completely focused and positive about this whole experience. Yesterday was so tough.. I was hallucinating food, shivering cold and had the worst headache of my life. Seriously doubted if I had it in me to see this through. And last night my 3 year old daughter decided to have the most almighty tantrum at bed time... Made me just want to reach for the biscuits and pig out. But I stayed strong and went to bed feeling very empty and shaky and bloody miserable lol.

I expected to wake up today feeling the same. But I don't! I feel completely in the zone and ready to beat all the food demons that tell me 'I'll never succeed so I may as well just stuff my face now'

The people on this forum have made me realise that I CAN succeed and all the stories I read last night have totally inspired me. I want this soooo much and I'm gonna do it all or nothing. So determined not to give into the 'go on, have an egg or some chicken, it won't affect ketosis!' (evil thoughts) so it's 100% all the way.

My goal is to be fit and sexy for sonisphere festival in July... I went last year (size 20) and felt like a moose struggling across miles of feild in the blazing heat with a ton of backpack on my back. I met an absolutely gorgeous guy but just felt totally hideous and unattractive and realised that I needed to do something. I made myself a promise that by next sonisphere I'd be slim. I owe it to myself to achieve that goal.

So here I am watching my daughter eat her delicious breakfast while I just guzzle water. I can't wait for week one to be over so I can see the first weight loss and use that as motivation to keep going.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories, I think I would have ended up shoving a babybell in my face last night when noone was looking if it hadn't been for the positivity in these forums!! You are all an inspiration.

So here goes day 2!
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Glad to see someone starting on the same day as me, it really does help when you see someone else going through the same feeling and temptations as you. So far I’ve been lucky, no headaches, but I do have a sudden interest in food. I don’t think I’ve ever thought so much about food, no one dish in particular, just food.

At the moment I’m not finding mealtime hard, it the desire to nibble in between that's causing me problems. That “I’m a bit peckish” feeling and I’m really worried about snacking on something without thinking.

I took a photo yesterday to show the before-after version of myself and I’m thinking of sticking it on the fridge to stop me forgetting!

Maybe you should put a picture of the Sonisphere 2010 up to remind you why you’re doing it, it might help with the motivation.

Good luck with your diary
Ha ha yeh all of a sudden Iv got images and smells of food flying around my head and dunno how I managed to avoid my daughters yummy nibbles in the cupboard. I know what u mean about the worry of snacking without thinking.. I actually considered whether I would sleepwalk to the fridge lol.
I also took start photos and have got this really cool iPhone app that let's you take photos and turn them into an animation. I'm gonna take 2 pics a week that are exactly the same and see me getting thinner!!
I also Like ur idea of the sonisphere pic to remind me of my motivation! Good plan ;)
Good luck with your diary too! Will stay in touch :)
End of day 2.. feeling amazing. and strong, and positive and somehow... a little slimmer! probably just psychological although finding out i am in full ketosis ON DAY 2 is a brilliant sign. I can feel the weight dropping off as I sit here typing :D

I literally cannot thank this forum and everyone on it enough for keeping me strong and reminding me that my journey might be long, but it is 100% achievable.

Hoping tomorrow is as easy as today.. and cannot wait for my first weigh in next monday. Im being strong and not letting myself step on the scales until I go to the pharmacy! I wanna see the weight loss all in one and feel the sense of success.

this moment is the first that i have felt like i can KNOW im going to get there. SKINNY ME HERE I COME!!!!
Glad to hear things are going better, I know what you mean about feeling thinner, I have constant urge to weigh myself. I feel pounds thinner already, but I don’t want to build my expectations up too much and risk de-motivating myself next week. I’m not weighing in until Saturday, which suddenly seams a long way off.
Ha ha yeah I'm not weighing until Monday which feels so far away. But I KNOW iv lost a bunch of weight cuz I wore a pair of jeans today that I couldn't get on a week ago!! So exciting isn't it :) how are you doing today??

So day 3..... Feel even BETTER than yesterday although lacking in energy. Didn't fancy having my shake this morning before walking my daughter to nursery and getting my legs to work was so hard!! My muscles are all crampy and tired. I understand biologically why that is, but it feels horrible. Looking forward to my body getting used to drawing energy from fat instead of glucose so that my legs work properly again!! But walking home I went past subway, two bakery's and burger king... All kicking out delicious smells... And I didn't even have that "aww I wish I could have that". I just walked past and felt so powerful and strong. This is such a breakthrough for me! I never thought I could detach myself from food in the way I have. I'm a compulsive binge eater!!!! But now I have no interest in food at all. It's just a miracle.

I also have lost the feeling of embarrassment I feel for being fat. I used to walk down the road and feel like I had a big neon sign above my head saying "FAT PERSON HERE" and would almost feel shame walking around with all the slim people. But today I didn't have that. And when I caught my reflection in windows I smiled... Knowing that soon my reflection will be a different person. I'm ALREADY feeling like a different person.

Iv also discovered that drinking the shakes through a straw makes it more enjoyable, makes me feel fuller and takes me longer to drink which is awesome because just like food... I tend to guzzle it down. When I re-feed I want to train myself to eat slowly and drinking the shakes slower is a really good thing. So wahoooo for straws!

Hope today stays this easy and that o don't have any more traumatic toilet visits :( lol
Grrr I'm so annoyed with myself. I just gave in and stood on the scales. I REALLY didn't want to until WI. Ive lost 4lbs in since starting Monday which is great but I knew I'd lost cuz I'm wearing these jeans!! But I wanted to be strong and not weigh myself but the temptation to know how much has gone was too much! But from NOW until monday I'm NOT going to stand on those scales!!! Damn you scales!! Well at least I didn't eat food... That would have been a REAL failure. But not a chance!!! Mwahhh haaaa haa HAAAAA.
Girl, step away from the scales! They will totally rule your life, and your daily mood, if you keep jumping on them. Weighing gets seriously addictive, very fast lol.

You're doing great, both of you x
Lol yeah it's a dangerous thing to start doing.. It's only cuz I went on the wii fit and the 'body test' option was screaming at me lol. I think I may HAVE to avoid wii fit cuz I know I'll weigh!!! Doh.

Thanks girlygirl, I can't see ur stats cuz I'm on my phone but I'm sure ur kickin ass too.. It seems hard not to on LT! X
Don't beat yourself up about the scales......I jump on them every morning! I knew that they were going to be bad on Monday cos I'd had a piggy weekend but seeing that I was a couple of lbs up was enough for me to switch my usual brekkie for a Slimfast shake....personally I think that the scales can be your friend just as easily as your enemy! Just don't let them rule your life......
i like the idea of just having one amount of recorded weight loss per week.. seems bigger that way! so i will definitely be staying away from now! its just the bloody wii fit that tempted me! iv got a set of scales in my bathroom that i aint even been near! i can understand why u weigh every day cuz i used to do that myself. But this time round I want to do it weekly ONLY. naughty me :( gonna pretend i didnt do it and that i still dont know how much I have lost he he x
Day 4!!!!

Today I feel like sh!te. My 3yr old kept me up all night for the second night in a row and the combination of starvation and fatigue is cracking my strength. I'm finding it hard to keep it together. The old me would fix this feeling with a binge... 5 pieces of toast would do the trick. And the new me is not sure how to work through this feeling without that fix... But im not gonna cave. This morning whilst doin bettys packed lunch, there was a brief moment where my head told me to scoff the piece of bread in my hand.. And because I feel so weak I wasn't too far off listening to it. But I know I can do this and I fought it off. I'm so proud because I seriously feel so weak and rubbish today that if I can be strong today... I can face whatever weakness I experience on my journey and beat it!! Today is extra hard test number one and iv already passed it with flying colours. Im proving to myself that I can succeed and that is an incredible feeling.

I know I can fight hunger, I know I can fight my mind telling me things, and now I know I can deal with feelings rather than fix then with eating. And THAT is invaluable. That is the change I need to stop me from going back to my old ways.

I get a little frightened that I'm physically doing myself harm though. The cramps, the diarrhea, the lack of glucose in my brain causing me to forget how to string a coherent bloody sentence together... I remember the lack of brain function on Atkins. And having done biochemistry I know how detrimental glucose deprivation can be to the brain. It worries me. But I don't think I could do this any other way... Iv tried dieting for years and failed every time. And I KNOW I'm not gonna fail with this. I'm forcing myself not to google lipotrim horror stories cuz I'm sure there must be some. I think I'd rather not know!! Lol.

So my daughter is now at nursery, I'm going back to bed to try to catch up on some of the sleep iv missed out on. I feel like death!!!! Hoping I wake up feeling better and ready to carry on being strong and positive and losing lots of weight :)
Dunno how I did it... But day 4 complete. Extremely hard, fatigued day. Lots of tears and feeling crappy. But for the first time in about 15 years, I didn't try to cover my feelings by stuffing my face. And I feel a million times stronger for it! Wahooo! Bring on day 5!
Well done!!!! The willpower is there which is great..... now look forward to WI :)
You should be very happy with yourself, you achieved a lot today, not only getting through the day, but more importantly recognising some of your bad old habits and not giving into them. It’s something I want to focus on over then next few weeks, re-educating myself about what I eat, how I eat and when I eat. This diet is hard work, there is not getting away from it, but there is not point in us doing it if simply return to the bad habits again. You can also use that confidence and self belief the next time thing get tough, you did it once, and you CAN do it again.

I think the tiredness is a combination of the diet and the lack of sleep, I found it hard to concentrate yesterday and I’ve been sleeping well, so your lack of sleep is making it harder. Having said that, I feel a lot better today and a lot more coherent.
Thankyou Hun, your so right.. And I do feel INCREDIBLY proud of myself. I never thought I could be this strong or change my ways. But I'm so determined to! I have read stories and actually know someone who lost 5 or 6 stone and then just piled it all back on again plus more. I'm so scared of that, so every day I'm telling myself that this is a change forever. And I will ALWAYS have to control my food and not let the smell of burger king as I walk past make me end up in the queue ordering a ton of crap. Never again can we let food control us or we will end up back at square one. It's so difficult though... I mean an alcoholic or smack head can just remain abstinent and choose to never touch their drug again. Where as we HAVE to eat again. And to us it's been an addictive, controlling drug that has ruined our life. Yet somehow we have to learn to have a healthy relationship with it. That's a tall order! But we can do it. And the conditioning to achieve that begins NOW. in the very beginnings of our LT experience. I don't see it as a diet. I see it as re-programming!!

Yes the sleeplessness is a pain.. But at the moment it's cuz my daughter won't sleep and the fatigue and stress is a massive hurdle. But I'm going to be strong. It's good that you are sleeping ok.. I think we are our strongest when we are sufficiently rested!

Well done for staying so positive and reaching day 5. We are nearly at finishing line of the hardest week! With a weigh-in to look forward to! Keep it up :) x

Cham Pers

size 8 by July
You guys flipping amaze me so much. You talk so much sense! I had to see a councellor for a bereavement that i couldnt come to terms with and as a result became bulimic for 5 years. I have now been free of the B disease for about 4 years but have piled on the weight since but all the threads that i keep reading are from incredible people with a wealth of knowledge xxxx
I'm sorry to hear you suffered a tragedy that led you to develop problems like that.. I think a lot of us can relate to something traumatic being at the route of our unhealthy relationships with food. Well done for besting the eating disorder and well done for taking the step to do something about the weight you have put on... It's so easy to just accept your life as it is and perpetuate the cycle of using food to control emotions rather than dealing with them. I suppressed a lot of emotions with food and I'm starting to feel them come to the surface now that I'm not stuffing my face.. Which hopefully means I'll deal with them and be free from all the underlying emotion when I reach my goal. = happy me. That's the plan anyway! And I think that's the key to succeeding... Is to deal with the underlying stuff that got you here in the first place!

Which leads me to my day 5...

I read some of the maintenance diaries earlier... And was shocked to see people straight back to pigging out on multiple bags of crisps at a time, cakes and loads of bread and crap. I am so determined to change my eating habits FOREVER. not to get slim then go back to binging. Why waste the effort of doing this??! I am never going to let myself Fu*k this up and start eating rubbish again. I think anyone on lipotrim who is thinking 'ooh I can't wait til this is over so I can have a piece of cake or a Chinese takeaway' is destined to fail. For me this program is about remembering food is a fuel source, not a way of feeling good. And retraining your brain to not desire food... But to use it to live as and when it's required. Im not going to waste this opportunity.

Today the cramps in my legs are unbearable. I'm hoping it goes. Iv been drinking an extra litre of water a day now that I'm getting used to the intake... Although sick of peeing! Ha! Also sick of the shakes... Starting to really have to force them down. All good though... Helping me to remember that the purpose of food isn't enjoyment!
Other than that.. Another day down 100% and feeling great.. Tired after 3 sleepless nights in a row and a little grumbly in the tummy! But feeling slimmer and remaining very strong and positive :)

Hope all my fellow LT girls and boys are doing well x
Hey Squeeze, you are doing great. I'm one day behind you. Today is day 5. I have to say yesterday day 4 was terrible for me too. Not so much the hunger but the feeling of futility and worthlessness and a million things that bring you back to old habits. I was chatting with a friend while she and her husband were having lunch and I kept thinking how natural it is to eat and what I was doing was stupid etc etc. But it's all a trick! Of course eating is natural and healthy....but not the way I was eating! That addiction to the full/stuffed feeling has to go!! I want to go back to healthy eating habits. I mostly eat healthy food....just LOTS of it!! It's my eating behaviour I have to change and that's why I think Lipotrim and the severity of the plan are necessary to start and relearn how to eat properly.

Don't mind about the scales. Stop beating yourself up with it. Put it in a cupboard and leave it tghere. Take it out of your sight. I got rid of mine about a year ago. I couldn't stand the power it had over me!!
Day 5 for me......keeping hopeful.
Try and remember that there is no such thing as comfort eating, what on earth is comforting about being fat and miserable!

Don't know which maintenance forum you saw that people were eating multiple bags of crisps Squeeze? Most of us detail our food intake every day and whilst we're not always perfect, who is? we're not that bad:eek: we try to work on the 80/20 principle and be good for 80% of the time.....denying yourself any treats whatsoever is just asking for trouble and likely to lead to a full-on binge! What you have to learn to do is have the odd piece of cake without thinking that you need to have another......but I do agree that if you don't do a proper re-feed and simply revert to your previous eating habits then you are destined to fail!

Fail to plan and plan to fail is a good motto to have:D

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