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St.Fern is no longer a saint. 1 stone on. I need help.

*sigh* - I was 1.5lbs over target (9st 8.5lbs) before i went on holiday two weeks ago. I went away, gained 8.5lbs at the next weigh in, last week.. I resolved to shift some weight this week- feeling like i had made a breakthrough emotionally by being able to accept the weight gain and take responsibility for it without being upset, slightly dissapointed but not deeply upset. My main meals have been 100% all week, up until today. However i ahve continuesly made bad choices, chocolates, popcorn, crisps. The list goes on. Often clocking up up to 30 syns a day.

I could quiet easily be a stone heavier this week, i weigh in tomorrow.

I am so mad with myself. If i make peace with 1 lb per week weight loss as my goal, i find myself eating too lax- if i aim for big losses, i get upset too easily when i dont have it and get impatient. My relationship with food is out of control, my emotional eating is rife and is controlling me and i feel as though im falling apart. I LOVE the plan, but what the hell is wrong with me.

Why cant i just give myself the kick up the ass i needed and get on with it. How did i managed that 'untouchable' determination and motivation to loose my origanal 5st, when nothing could stop me.. but now, i can last 3 weeks at most before my willpower is so poor it only takes a whiff off the bakery and all of a sudden my entire week goes to pot.

Im not sure what i want, some advise.. i suppose.

I can only try to explain how difficult it is to get that motivation back, when youv already worked hard and got there only to put some back on. I feel so unbelievably dissapointed with myself, my self confidence and self esteem has taken such a bashing.

Things are going SO well elsewhere, my work, my home life.. but why cant i get this on track too?
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Now to maintain.....
aww fern ((((((((((((fern)))))))...not really got much useful to say but couldnt stop and read without sending you big hugs.

you need to think about why you did this,what you've gotten out of it etc and you need to stick a piccie on the cupboards/fridge/whatever of that dream wedding dress :)

i know its hard but you will do this chick,you will find that mojo again....you are such an inspiration.


Is so doing it this time
Hi Fern hun :hug99: here's a nice big juicy hug :) Try and remember how well you have done and how far you have come while you are chastising yourself. We are all so hard on ourselves - myself included - and sometimes we need to sit back and take stock of the reality of the situation.... you have lost an amazing amount of weight which takes willpower and determination. Ok, so you went on a well deserved holiday and enjoyed yourself.... which is allowed even on SW! You have to allow yourself to enjoy yourself you are allowed to live and life can not be a permanent diet!

Stop telling yourself that your not allowed this or that or whatever..... the more you tell yourself you cant have it the more you brain will tell you you want it.

Instead of telling yourself you've broken the diet or have not been on plan, think of it as having a break for a while, till you settle. If you allow yourself to have food without the guilt then you are less likely to binge or over indulge.

You have restricted your food intake for so long that when you did taste the "forbidden fruit" while you were on your holiday you now cant regain control. If you stop telling yourself its forbidden your desire may subside...... its all in the power of the mind. You tend to crave things when you cant have them, switch the psychology and tell yourself you can have them if you want and you start to regain control.

Give yourself a break, maybe try maintaining. Just don't get angry with yourself cos it only leads to more eating and believe me I did it..... I've not only been there done that and got the tee shirt..... but I had to go back and get the tee shirt in a size 22..... xx

Ps sorry for lecturing you... I mean it in a helpful way x
I wrote a huge reply then lost it!!! So here goes again...

I could have sat & wrote the exact same as you, I've fell off the wagon whilst on holiday & put on 4lb then put another 1 1/2lbs on last week with not being focused enough. I've struggled to get back on track this week but I've managed it & hopefully it will show on the scales tomorrow - a 2lb loss would be great!

You've done fab so far, you've lost so much already & you'll be able to tell the difference, we're all here to support you & if you want a 'back on track buddy' give me a shout as I really need to get back on track as I was 2 1/2lb away from my 2 stone award now I'm under my 1 1/2 stone award.

Don't be too angry with yourself, get weighed tomorrow then draw a line under the past few weeks & start a fresh on Thursday - I weigh in on a Wednesday as well so good luck.
Aww sweetie! I can totally sympathise with you! I got down to 10 stone 10 (target being either 10 stone or 10 stone 5 pounds), then I had a two week holiday from work and it took me another week to get back on plan, so overall 3 weeks off. And I've been naughty and not gone to class :(

So.....i put on about 12 pounds over those 3 weeks. I'm now working to get this off and regain the loss previously!

My advice for getting back on track is to plan..write put all meals for the week then go shopping! Then stick to the meals by keeping lush snacks and puddings like strawberries, total 0% yoghurt and meringue (its like 3 syns I think although someone please correct me if I'm wrong).

Get determined and it will happen! Set yourself an achievable goal, this could be weight loss or it could be I'm terms of sticking to the syn allowance for a week 100%, or exercising a certain amount in a week!

Let meet know how it goes! Good luck! :D
Come on darling!

Your one of the queens and inspirations on this site girl!

You have pulled me out of so many "ugh I dont know why i cant do this" phases.

So come on you! We all have the faith in you honey!

Take a step back for a second, think about how you felt when you were 5 stone heavier? bet it's something you don't ever want to feel like again!

So what you should do darling is take off the wallowing hat, put this week down to experience!

Go find some really nice recipes and make them SW friendly, plan your meals! get your books out! have fun!

(relax hun, sometimes I get so consumed about what goes in my mouth I have a wobble! your human!)

P.s did you have a nice holiday?
Thanks guys, Its helps knowing i have so much support here. 1 stone just seems like SO much.. and im terrified. Before that scared feeling of letting it get out of control stopped me going so over board and although i could gain up to 6lb in a week, i was straight on it asap the next few weeks.. now, im just letting it get worse. I obviously want it off because im making every effort to cook, but i cant stop eating crap.

*hard flipping slap around face*

i have to pull myself together. I DO want this, i just need to want it enough.

Its getting me so down now, and im certain im already getting that seasonal depression, when i got up this morn for work and it was still dark i was almost in tears.


Silver Member
And this is why they say getting to target is the easy part!!

I don't really have much advice for you hon, other than the stuff already said, but remember why you did it in the first place. You didn't do it because you were getting married, or for your family, or friends. You did it for YOU.

Your wedding is a massive incentive to keep the weight off, but you need to get straight in your head what you wanted from your weight loss in the first place. Was it to look good? Be healthy? Live a long life?

I've been watching The Biggest Loser, and there's a couple of young girls on there who describe themselves as having "always been the fat girl who couldn't do stuff they wanted to do". You're not that girl any more, because you've lost the weight and look bloody fantastic!!
come on fern u know u can do this get the shop in with lots low syn treats that u know u can have make the choc cake and all the things that kept u going last time u got to target draw that line and start afresh wright everything down one hic up dont make it a bad week :)
good luck hun we all know u can do it
Ah Fern, I doubt I'll be any help, but I didn't want tor ead and run. You've been one of the major inspirations to me on this site. A stone is nothing, not in the big picture, compared to what you've lost. But, if you don't get your bum into gear soon, ya never know what may happen weight wise.
We all have our wee slips and times when we just can't be bothered. Do me a favour, sit down for 5 minutes, close your eyes and picture yourself gliding up the aisle in your gorgeous dress. Keep that picture in mind and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Look at it as being only 14 measly wee pounds, you can do that no probs. Stop being so hard on yourself and just take a few wee baby steps and see how you feel.
you will always be saint Fern no matter what !

you offer endless advice to us all and its priceless.

you must get back into the zone girl :D can you think back to why you were naughty today, how you were feeling that made you make bad choices?

come on think of your inspirations and chrimbo approaching, we need to be gorgeousness thin wafers by then :D
Just a quickie and I'm not one to help on the getting back on the SW wagon (as I'm struggling at the moment too) but I just wanted to say the 'Lumie SAD lamps' are really good (I got mine last year and it really really helped me with carb cravings/tearfulness and general SAD), I've been using mine since the middle of August when I started noticing nights getting shorter and mornings darker....... definitely worth a look. I got mine in Boots when there was an offer on, I'm tempted to buy a dawn simulator this year :)
Fern, I could have written that myself. I have gone 8lb over my target but I've dropped my original target weight so I also have a stone to lose.
After being at target for so long it is incredibly hard to get your head back into gear. It is easy to plan, write lists, do fabulous slimming world meals, and tell yourself that you can have whatever you like as long as it's controlled but it's not so easy to stick to it.
Last week and the week before I also made fab meals, had my A's and B's, weighed and measured but went over on my syns because 5 rich tea for 10 syns just wasn't enough. I then went on to be disappointed with half a pound loss.

Fern - you can do this. I can do this. I honestly think that it is so much harder to get back into it after being at target, but you've been there before and you can do it again.

A pound a week is perfect. Just tell yourself that by the start of December you will be back there, that's my plan.

All the advice in the world can be offered hun, and to be honest, don't we know exactly what to do? It's just no-one else can be in your head to do this.

A pound a week Fern. Go for it.
I didn't want to read and run Fern, just wanted to say how great and inspirational you are to people like me who have so much to lose and that we are all willing to return the support you have given us :)

So take one day at a time and forget about how much it is you need to lose and take it one day at a time.

How about breaking it down into smaller chunks, say 3lb and work towards each of those mini targets one at a time.

I am doing it with 7lbs, I started with 20 of the little devils to lose and now i'm down to 10

wishing you all the best x


Is a crunchy mama!
Fernie Bernie!! I'm so sorry you've been having a hard time lately. You've already been given great advice but one thing I wanted to add was that I think you were on the right track a few months ago when you were addressing the emotional side of eating. I just read this book called Women, Food & God by Geneen Roth. I found it really helpful and incredibly motivating! Since being pregnant I haven't been able to follow SW properly but I have been eating intuitively, eating what I like and stopping when I'm full and I've lost weight so far! I want to get back on SW because it ticks all the nutritional boxes (I've had hardly any dairy in the last 3 months!). Still, I think it's a GREAT read, very liberating; and can be easily incorporated with SW. Good luck hun!!
Fern-ness!!!! lots of love winging its way to you.

When i first came onto MM (many moons ago) people like you insprired me that SW works and amazing losses can happen!!! you also had the YSOTY under your belt!!! AMAZING!

You are still that amazing person, but you have just had a holiday away from it all (GOT ENGAGED!!!!) and finding times hard.

Whatever the gain, lets just face it head on - it wont be there for long. You can do it - and will get back to where you want to be!!!

I myself will be whimpering back from my holiday with a certain gain next month, so will need lots of tips and advice from YOU on how to tackle this xxx
Big hugs and be kinder to yourself. I have been where you are so many times, stuffing the crap in while furious with myself and then stuffing more and more in more and just getting in a downward spiral but not being able to see a way out.

I still struggle (have dieted my whole adult life and i am 46 !) but I find the best way for me to get back on plan with slimming world is to plan meals i LOVE (pasta n sauce mac and cheese, egg chips and beans etc) and just plan one day at a time.

Good luck and you can do it and we are all here for you.

The sooner you get back to it the sooner that weight will be gone.

and again be kind to yourself

Aww, poor you. I Know how you feel about the gain, I lost 5 stone a few years ago. I got to target a week before Christmas, then I couldn't resist all the Christmas goodies and I gained about nine pounds. :eek: I went back to class in the new year feeling embarrassed and a complete failure I felt everyone was laughing at me. I didn't want to go back to class after that and thought, wrongly, that I could lose the weight I had put on at home following the plan and go back when I was at my target weight again.

Big, big mistake. I kept eating and eating and more and more weight piled on as I sabotaged myself over and over and medicated with food, too ashamed to admit what I was doing to myself. :cry:

A couple of years down the line all the weight was back. I have used other diets since and lost and gained the same couple of stone. I am now back with slimming world and have lost over 3 stone in the last two years.

The reason for my waffling is to say,


I know it's easy to say and hard to do because you have to be in the right mindset but please nip this in the bud. At least you are still going to class, use your consultant. Ring her and text her when you are feeling low or are about to eat something you shouldn't. It seems like losing a stone is a huge task, but you have done it before, you can do it again! :D

I hope I don't sound to hard on you but I wish someone had given me a kick up the bum and told me to get a grip.

Good luck fern, you are an inspiration, you have shared your struggle and that can help people as much as your success, just knowing that we are all fighting the same battle and we will win the war.
We are not alone, we have minimins.:D

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