Stress

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by hanmac, 29 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. hanmac

    hanmac Getting her sparkle back

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    This week has been so stressful and it's only Tuesday.

    (Here follows a long rant, if you want to get to the moral of the story, scroll down to 'Rant Over'!)

    I'm a student and am moving from one house to another, but the house i'm in now I have until Thursday 10am, and I can't get the keys for the next house until Thursday at 12pm, but that isn't the big dilemma...the problem is that I agreed to let two of my friends move in as they didnt want to live alone, I shall call them A and M. The plan was for them to move in, then on moving day they'd go back and pack up their house.
    It was all quite easy until they 'just found out' that they only have their house until 12pm on Wednesday. So they've had to move all their stuff into my house. So my house now looks like a jumble sale. My mum is coming up on wednesday to help me finish packing then help me to move on Thursday, this would be PERFECT but now the two girls want her to help them move their stuff. The plan for me was to load up my mums car and my car then go shopping for 2 hours to pass the time. But they want my mum to take their stuff in loads to the new house, then A's mum will wait outside with all the stuff. Stupidest idea ever! As A and A's mum are coming over from Ireland so they won't have a car, and M only drives a mini.

    All in all, this really isn't my problem. They could have found out alot earlier that they only had the house until wednesday, they could have hired a man with a van or something, and now i've got stressed out as they're using my mum as some sort of removal service without even asking her, and they've completely messed up my house which I had thoroughly cleaned as it's a condition of my contract.

    I'm completely shattered as was up at 5.30am to go to Leeds for business, then had to work until 6pm, came back to help M move stuff from her house to mine, completely packed up A's room for her, sweated buckets and then had to re-clean my kitchen. Have to be at work again all day tomorrow.

    RANT OVER
    The reason I posted this is because today is the first day I actually felt like eating. Sorry to mention the F word, but all I wanted was a cup of tea and a biscuit. Sitting and drinking a soup really got me down today and I know it's silly. I know once this week is over it'll all be fine, i'm just so annoyed at my friends as they're really unsupportive (constantly asking if I want a glass of wine, piece of chocolate etc.) and making me fret about their moving situation really hasn't helped!
    :sigh:
     
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  3. charliefarlie

    charliefarlie Full Member

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    Oh Hanmac, what a horrible situation for you and your poor mum! Who needs friends like that Eh? I too am having a stressful week and I have not managed to stay as focussed as you. I am having a major wobble but hope to put it all behind me tomorrow. Well done for staying strong and this will all be behind you before you know it!
     
  4. hanmac

    hanmac Getting her sparkle back

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    Thank you charliefarlie! I know it's just so frustrating, but describing it to anybody not on LL/any diet, think i'm just over reacting! Think the problem is that i've always said 'yes' to people as am afraid to let people down, and since I was always paranoid about my size i've always felt a bit inferior to other people, and wanted to please them. But now I need to learn to say 'NO' and stick up for myself sometimes!

    Especially as my friend M has invited her mum and mum's friend to stay, and friend A has invited her mum over as well and said they can all sleep in our house, so my mum has to go to a hotel. (Which she is happy to do anyways as she hates my house) but still it's MY HOUSE! Arrrrrrrrgh.
     
  5. Lind

    Lind Is feeling the love!

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    Hannah, good ranting! I think we are all aloud a good rant at least once a week! lol
    This is the place where you can let those feelings out and get them off your chest.
    I can't suggest anything to say to your friends, but I would tell them that they owe you at least a few weeks of house cleaning duty as a thank you for showing them such kindness! Make sure they know how accomodating you are being!

    Good luck with your move! And stay strong! xx
     
  6. flexiblefish

    flexiblefish Full Member

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    I think we should set up a rant thread.... that way anyone who has had a bad occurance can come on there blow a fuse and spend time doing that instead of the old past habits of heading for the biscuit box. Would it be worthwhile. That way anyone entering that thread would know "rant ahead, possibly long post". Things work fine atm, imho. but could be good for some.
     
  7. DOVES

    DOVES Full Member

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    Rant away - I'm a people pleaser too so totally know where you are coming from - I think people won't like me if I say no!!! Now I know this is crooked thinking ;-) I need to change this.

    I am finding the CBT stuff really good we did this exercise last night where we had to think of time we behaved in a way we did not like - I started writing about shouting at my DD because she wouldn't get up for school - but when I read it back it became clear it was actually my mum I was angry at - I then out of nowhere started having a huge rant about my mum - really freaked me out but realised I need to face these things.

    Hope you get your moving sorted out - Just say No !!! We all need to learn this
     
  8. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    I think a lot of us are people pleasers.
    Since doing LL and the CBT Ihave become much better at being assertive and saying no sometimes. At first it was scary, but amazingly instead of people reacting badly thay have accepted it well and treated me with more respect and care.
    It seems you have to value youself before others will do the same.
     
  9. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Im def a people pleaser. Well actually i was before LL. I am learning to stand up for myself and if i dont want to do something say no. Its actually quite liberating afterwards - when you say no. I feel like adding at the end of it - so there!
     
  10. AJB

    AJB Silver Member

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    Well done in staying on track despite all the stress Hanmac! It is so hard not to keep up with the habit of just doing things to please other people - I've been acting that way for so long I've actually forgotten what I really want out of life :(

    Keep focused and stay strong - we are all here for you
     
  11. melarnz

    melarnz Silver Member

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    AJB - I think what u just said about forgetting what you want out of life is exactly me!! But I didn't realise it until u just said it. I think this is why I try to. cram So much in, (see my diary lol). Maybe it's because I'm still searching for that happiness. I never felt better thanwhen I was slimmer, and maybe that's what I miss.
     
  12. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Hey Mel -you got there before and you will get there again huni. You just gotta start believing in yourself again. You can do this :hug99:
     
  13. hanmac

    hanmac Getting her sparkle back

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    Thank you all for your support :)
    This week has been stressful but i've stayed on track and lost 4ibs, got to love LL!
    Am all moved into my new house, it turned out to be even more of a disaster. Basically landlord didn't have the keys, previous tenants were still moving out as we went to move in, they had completely destroyed the house, my bed stank and was mouldy! But have had professional cleaners in, painters are in today and we should be getting new carpets soon. I should also be getting a new bed as am currently sleeping on a matress on my floor!
    But ce la vie, the house will be lovely when it's all finished :)
     
  14. Iwillgetthere

    Iwillgetthere Determined to succeed

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    Aaaaaaw Hannah poor you - but you stayed abstinent and you lost 4lb - kinda makes up for the stinky bed doesnt it :D
     
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