"supportive" friends

Discussion in 'Exante' started by babystar31, 23 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    Hey just a thought. Has anyone had unsupportive comments from people about th diet? Let us know!

    I had a friend tell me that the diet is not healthy, i'll make myself ill, and then when im done i'll put all the weight back on....erm thanks, your support is muchos appreciated haha!

    anyone else got lovely friends like mine? xx
     
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  3. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    Uh yes, some work colleagues and my folks but who cares, these VLCD diets have been medically approved to keep us fine and healthly so all those people can go and, how do I put that nicely???????
     
  4. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    My sentiments exactly. I just replied to my friend "oh ok no problem and i guess bein 18 stone and overweight is a much better way to be healthy...."

    I guess the negative comments are always going to come...but hey ho who cares :D
     
  5. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    I'm with you babystar! yes yes yes they can make their opinions known(without reading the info!) bt, I am having more mineral and vitamins, fibre and proteins than when I was eating before this diet.
    Like you said, its like a weighing scale.. weighing up the options, being morbidly obese (which i am!) or doing a diet that could increase my years of life and quality of life!

    People do sometimes put the weight on, yes, but many many many many do not.. we just need to look at the inspiration threads on the forum or the before and after pictures, and our more exprienced exantes that pop in and check on us every now and again.

    There are reasons people might put the weight back on, emotional, or even not coming to terms with portion sizes, but I truly believe if we are motivated enough to stick to this diet, we will be more than motivated to keep it off! I love love love this little thread http://www.minimins.com/very-low-calorie-diets/5443-debunking-myth-about-vlcds.html

    I find a lady on these forums called KD so inspirational and rather witty and wise
    I like this one by cw consultant.. it refer to CD but the same could be said for us little lot

    to be honest... friends are either jealous as they know you will shrink before their eyes, or have no idea where you get so much inner strength from... i can understand some people not being informed about it, but belatently trying to demotivate is one of the worst things.
     
  6. Magggie

    Magggie Full Member

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    I had some freakiness from a couple of good friends who are big drinkers. They tookit as almost an affrontery that I won't drink, but that's their headfunk not mine. My hubby went round and had a word. Wierdness
    I take absolutely no [email protected] from anyone about thus diet. I love the way people looked at me waiting for me to fail

    HA ! In yer face

    family have been very supportive, even my 86yr old mum who I had to keep reminding that I didn't need feeding as I am on a special diet, bless her

    I look tired now, yes I do, but it's because I have started running again, and it's taking it out of me, but then you wouldn't question a training athlete
    and that's what we are:-
    dieters in training

    ;)
     
  7. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    Yay for mags :D
    I think thats the thing.. this diet is about us, selfishly looking after us! sod the rest

    xx
     
  8. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    My friend was interested but I told him it would be very difficult with his lifestyle which includes weekly pubfests and lots of trips away to friends whilst not being able to drink. His reply? 'Well I don't want a faddy diet anyway' I told him it was clinically proven and contained everything your body needs.
    Couple of weeks later he text as his partner was asking about it. Her reply? 'Never heard of it' I pointed out that neither had I before starting.
    My answer to all those knockers? 'It's not for everyone, but it suits me'
    Btw above friend's partner is going abroad to have a gastric band fitted in 3 weeks. Apparently she doesn't fit the criteria in the UK and it's cheaper there!!!
    Isis hon if you're reading this can you send me some amunition so he can try to get her to change her mind? He's coming to stay with us for the weekend and I feel I should stick my oar in where it's not wanted lol
     
  9. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    See thats the bit that annoys me. people knock it and assume that because they havent heard of it its not a good diet but goin abroad to get a gastric band fitted is so much better? Arghhh lol

    I hadnt heard of exante until i googled lookin for a VLCD last week. Just like i hadnt heard of cambridge diet until i started it. they are all proven diets with amazing results.....and to all the people who say its just a faddy diet, i invite them all to come on here in a years time and see our before and after pics hehe
     
  10. Magggie

    Magggie Full Member

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    OMG and the weekly pubfest food is not a faddy diet either!!!
    and having an invasive procedure such as a gastric band without even trying a VLCD is mad
    Isis is soooo doing the right thing, Well Done Isis.
    I know of gastric band people who have nothing but trouble, and how is your mate going tomanage with the monthly visits to get more/the right amount of saline pumped into it? More expense!
    Exante bumper pack works out at £1.25 per sachet, and you don't usually end up witha scar
     
  11. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    Thanks Magggie, that's my first piece of amunition!
     
  12. thentherewasme

    thentherewasme Full Member

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    I've had the odd few comments of it being faddy, unhealthy or the funniest "the easy option". Hmmmm, yep, right!! The main consensus was that if you eat a nice calorie controlled diet and excercise then you will lose any weight you want to off and if you didn't lose weight that way you were cheating :mad::rolleyes:

    Oh and don't forget how bad it is for my children to see me only eating soup etc. Whereas in the last week, they have eaten healthier as there is no junk in the house, have switched all the white carbs for brown/wholeweight etc and my eldest is a veggiphobe - but LOVES soups and he'll happily help me make a huge pot of veggy soup for them all and scoff bowls of it. Not to mention the positive effect having a slimmer, healthier, happier mum will bring.....

    Ummm, will step off my soap box now :eek:
     
  13. Magggie

    Magggie Full Member

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    Lets not forget there are some strange people/friends who want you the way you are before- Fat, easy to please, stay like mouses cos we dont want to attract attention on our fat ol' selves (its a generalisation, I realise we are not all like that !) like my Mate, who found it almost offensive for me to not drink, as if I am pointing out all the time "LOOK HOW MUUUUUUCH YOU ARE DRINKING !!!!!!! " with every glass poured

    they want us to stay how we are, not be prettier, or get more attention then them.

    I was chatted up at the weekend, and it took me a while to realise that fat old me was being propositioned

    LOL

    so far out of the game my dears, not that I wanted that, in fact I countered his "when do you get off Love" with a sound "I don;t know I will have to ask my Husband" who was serving next to me

    Lol (he took it in the manner it was meant)
    so beware a little Ladies & Gents, they MAY have an ulterior motive.

    You can spot the ones who don't, by the way they are asking you for the name of your Diet when you are rapidly melting away before their eyes
    :D
     
  14. Magggie

    Magggie Full Member

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    Oh, and Dietkitty- I searched for an old article in the paper by Anne Diamond who did what your friend is planning to do
    'Dear Fern, you look fantastic, but...' Anne Diamond warns of the trials of a gastric band op | Mail Online
    an extract from it:-
    "By the time my weight reached 15 stone 10lb, I had never felt so bad about my body. I remember going onto my computer and Googling 'jaw-wiring', telling myself that I would simply have my jaws wired to stop me eating. I was that desperate to lose weight.

    Then a friend told me about a gastric band operation she'd had in Belgium. She'd been obese as a child, as a teenager and as a young woman and for her it had been a huge success. The weight had dropped off so easily, she told me: 'I wish I'd had it done 20 years ago.'

    My mind was made up. Why Belgium? For one thing the operation cost £4,000, compared with £8,000 in Britain, and there was something appealing about having the procedure in a foreign country, where no one knew me and I could keep it secret, because it is shaming to not be able to control your weight.

    But the reality is that it is terrifying undergoing a general anaesthetic in a foreign country and being cared for by nurses who cannot speak good English.

    It is frightening returning home, wondering how you are going to manage your new life and being hundreds of miles and several hours away from the surgeon should anything go wrong.

    And, as we are becoming increasingly aware, things do go wrong and the NHS often has to perform corrective surgery on those unfortunate people for whom it does. My surgery in Belgium, although I went to a respectable surgeon, was an unedifying failure, not a success.

    Yes, I lost 10lb in the first four weeks, which delighted me, but that was because I was eating soup and yoghurt as recommended and my appetite was curbed following the surgery, but there was no feeling of restriction in my stomach.

    Once I started eating normally again, I put the weight back on in a matter of weeks. In fact the £4,000 I spent would prove to be a complete waste of money because I would later discover that the band had been put in the wrong place, at the base of the oesophagus - instead of round the stomach - where it could not be properly tightened.

    Putting all that weight back on made me feel upset and, quite frankly, silly. I'd gone all that way and spent all that money on an operation that hadn't worked.

    People have asked me 'Why didn't you go back to have it corrected?' or 'Why didn't you sue?', but it all boils down to a sense of shame again. I felt it was my fault it hadn't worked.

    I didn't want people to find out, and for a bright light to be shone onto this one part of my life I felt I couldn't control - I'm sure you felt the same, Fern, which is why you decided not to tell anyone.

    Six months after the first failed procedure, I underwent a second gastric band operation in a private

    London hospital and immediately noticed a huge difference.

    This time, when I ate I felt full quickly and I physically couldn't consume any more. I would sit in a restaurant and happily watch the waiter take away my plate after I'd eaten just a quarter of my meal, knowing I couldn't force down another morsel even if I had wanted to.

    The weight dropped off and I was thrilled. I dropped a dress size a month and lost about three stone before my weight reached a plateau, and I'm having to work hard to keep the momentum going.

    One of the biggest problems, which I hadn't anticipated, is occasionally how resentful you can feel at not being able to eat 'normally' like other people, and there are times when the calories creep up.

    Because I felt full quickly, I would eat only a quarter of what I ate before, but instead of having three meals a day, I would find myself constantly grazing on small amounts through the day - and if you are taking in the same amount of calories then you don't lose weight. "
     
  15. sweet_girl123

    sweet_girl123 Silver Member

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    yeah i get mates who are like that..hence the reason as to why haven't told many people that i am on the diet..i just tell them i have cut down on food and eat more healthily...coz friends don't seem to get the whole point of vlcd...and they will do thier best to get you to eat 'healthily'' so that you can lose the weight slowly..but surely...but what they don't get is that vlcd is only the beginngin and a quick solution to the start of a new journey for ourselves...all my mates are slimmer then me so they can;'t possibly understand...they alwsy say to me i aint that fat but the point is i feel fat...when they say you can have say a burger one time a week and you would burn it off during the rest of the week but what they don't get is that it would probz turn to fat coz you body is used to storing fat...whereas vlcd decreased your appetite and starts eating away at the fat so you will store any on top of what is already there in your bod..if that makes sense....lol hope it does lol...so yeah hence the reason i don't tel people when i am on a vlcd..i just wait for thier comments when they do come my way about woow you have lost weight..lol its a slow process but i am waitin for that time to come my way ..lol
    mwah
     
  16. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    That's fabulous Magggie, thanks. I'm going to email it on to him.
     
  17. Maka

    Maka A New Woman

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    I learned LONG AGO that I was the only person who should know that i am on this diet.
    I have used all sorts of excuses:

    * I'm on a spiritual fast (can't mess with someone's religious convictions can you now!)

    * I am on a detox (if I HAVE TO have my shake with curious eyes around offering biscuits and doughnuts at work)

    * I am on medication (if I'm offered alcohol)

    * I am on a diet and my last meal is before 6pm(if I go out in the evening)

    * I've got some blood tests later on today and have been told not to eat

    * It's a cereal bar that I buy in a pack from Lidl (I have peeled the wrappers off my bars to avoid nosey parkers)

    I hope someone else can add to my list...I'll need some more creative ideas soon since I'm going to be on this diet for a while :)
     
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  19. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    'the easy option'.. please! isn't a gastric band the easy way out?
    Rather than learning about what your body needs, and having the period of time we are on the diet, to address the reasons we may of over eaten or our lack of motivation to move more than a stationary object.. I know, lets PHYSICALLY restrict what I can shove in my mouth and gut.. rather than address the MENTAL reasoning behind it.. yeah cos to do that would be the 'easy option' my left cheesy foot!

    This diet is HARD.. but we are all informed on it. We know that we are filling our bodies with goodness and the nutrients it needs.. I have more vitamins and minerals now than I ever did...like I said in another post, its eye opening, as I am starting to see food very differently. Not as a emotional comforter, not as a detested evil ting to avoid, but as fuel. This diet is enabling me to 'start again'. Once the weight drops, I will be able to go out and have an evening meal with a sexy man.. f I can find one hehhe and pick options I know are good... but best of all enjoy it. It will be second nature..

    Or I could do the over option.. and sit there with my gastric band being stressed as I take 40 minutes to chew my way through a egg cup sized meal...
     
  20. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    sorry I get all heated hhehe

    I am like you maka.. this is a little secret.. I am not ashamed of what I am doing.. far far from it. I just think I got myself into this mess, I have to get myself out of it. Others have no right to judge what I put in my mouth, fat or thin or in training to be thin. (thanks Magggie.. stole the training bit hehe )

    I would never dream of telling someone eating that mayo sauce or whatever is dangerous. Why should someone else have the right to do that to me :D

    I am extremely proud to be on this diet and of all you lot on this forum. the reason I keep it quiet is because its my journey not theirs.

    xx

    and thank you for the reasons hehehe I am jotting them down.
     
  21. sweet_girl123

    sweet_girl123 Silver Member

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    That is soo truu shorty...this diet does help you a lot to understand food a lot more..its like these days i don't feel hungry that often as i used to...and i feel full more quickly then i did before as well...so it does help you a lot....but like i said this is why i don't tell friends about this type of diet coz they do their best to persuade you it is not safe...but how can not b safe as i have done it before and also it does work...
    mwah
     
  22. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    makes me so grrrrr
    heheh still have steam coming out my ears.. just think resorting to a band and invasive surgery should be the very very last option.. for people that have no other way.. there is risks, as with all surgeries, and if you have loved ones, its selfish not to at least try something less drastic before the band.. your friend seems to be doing it as its easier.. and that is so so wrong.. it will change her whole life. Does she not believe in herself enough? I believe in myself to be able to say no to food. To be able to sit with a soup as others stuff their faces.. I feel sorry for her if she has so little self control and self esteem. Her option seems more faddy to me...

    sorry.. and I dont mean to make sweeping statements, bands are life savers for some people .. and I totally agree some have tried all they can..they can be amazing and give back a life to some people that had no way out.and of course it must be painful and difficult afterwards.. but this is in response to your friends heehe refusing to try a vlcd and opting to travel aboard for a band.
     
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