Take 100 (Sander's new diary)

Don't feel bad Joodle - its a fun story :) I am really trying hard to find a balance between being completely rigid and out of control. I am tired of seesawing. My approach right now is that Dukan is my default eating, but that occasionally I will have something else and that is OK and not a horrible "cheat" or "break". I am reserving the cheat and break words for when I lose control - when I sneak food, when I binge due to pain or emotions. Those are the behaviors that got me 100 pounds overweight - not the occasional cookie or glass of wine
 
I love this post Sander - articulates pretty much where I am aiming to get to, too. I've been doing a ton of reading about emotional eating as I know if I can conquer that, I'm a good part of the way there.

You've learnt so much about how and why you eat, you have established primarily that Dukan is how you like/need to eat and you have a loving and supportive family. That's a lot of positives in your favour!!

Jx
 
I can almost hear these conversations with your OH, sander. He sounds annoyingly sensible:)

But I agree completely: allowing yourself a small indulgence from time to time, without slipping into binge mode, is a huge victory in itself. Otherwise how would you get through the next 8 months? Well done on still losing!

Cx
 
Sanders love your sensible approach to. Great to read you have so much support around you and yes the odd glass and gala meal is not what got us hear in the first place its the day in day out over a long period that did. Have a great Sunday xxx
 
Monday - weekend over - back to work, wow it's Tuesday already! I am way behind on my mm diary :)

So what's going on? Still stuck on the seesaw - my female troubles have returned, so I haven't been able to go to aquacize. Feel demotivated and exhausted. Cooking up a delicious roast in the slow cooker for dinner tonight - it smells divine! Porridge and eggs for breakfast and leftover salmon for lunch.

Felt sorry for my poor son as he was looking for food this morning before school and there was nothing he wanted (I offered to make him eggs and porridge and he glared at me and poured himself a glass of diet green tea). So I went grocery shopping and bought him all sorts of rubbish = juice, cheese, crackers, peanut butter, grapes, cereal, instant oatmeal, a couple of microwave pasta meals and a couple of tins of soup. Hopefully these will supplement my meals of protein and veg enough that he is not so hungry. The only things I bought for myself were coffee, yogurt, celery, and a rutabaga
 
The roast turned out delicious :) So we will be having leftovers today for supper. Breakfast, chocolate gallette with pumpkin ( add 2 Tbsp of pumpkin and 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder, and make your gallette sweet with splenda or stevia instead of savory - they puff up and have much more of a cake consistency), Lunch tuna salad, Supper leftover pot roast with carrot and rutabaga mash - snacks - yogurt and jello
 
Your menu sounds delicious. Now that the weather is turning cooler, roasts are going to be a joy and, like you, I love mashed veg. Celeriac is my current favourite.
I'm still smiling at your being out of practice with the corkscrew and spilling half a glass! ;-)
 
And now its Friday - no loss this week - no gain either. Considering the havoc that's going on with my body right now, I'll take that as a win for the week. The DR upped my hormone's and I ended up with a killer migraine that lasted for most of three days. I still am feeling the effects in my eyes. Stopped the hormones, which brought on intense nausea and cramping. Bleeding heavily for the last 16 days, so still not able to go to the pool. Might be going for the hysterectomy after all....

Through all that, I stayed mostly on Dukan, had a glass of wine and a small piece of bread last night with dinner (we were at a fund-raising dinner and I needed to have something to sip and settle my stomach). Then at the end of the evening when the speakers start one of the ladies at my table threw up all over the table. I felt so bad for her, and I am very empathetic - if you tell me your troubles I will start feeling the same way. So my stomach started roiling with every time she cleared her throat afterward. But I didn't get sick myself, although we left right after the speakers because I didn't think I could maintain much longer!
 
Wow - just realized I've only got 6 weeks left until my mini-target.... I've got to get hard-core if I want to make it. I can do 6 weeks of hard-core Dukan - I know I can... No more small treats and kindness... No more sane approach... Time to get OC again...

We're coming up on the anniversary of my mother's death and it is wracking me about along with the health issues - expect to see a Sander rollercoaster in this diary but maybe if I focus on the Dukan instead of everything else I'll stay OK.

Still having nightmares and migraines. Going back and forth between wanting to conquer the world and wanting to stay in bed and sleep until next year. Getting a bit behind on my work because my mind goes in a blank fog and can't find its way out. When in the fog bank I really want chocolate, but it doesn't help get rid of the fog....

Yesterday was a day of chicken kebabs and braised skirt steak. Was quite delicious. Today... I went to church and had a piece of angel food cake with fresh berries and cream - OOPS - it was delicious but brought the headache back - came home and went to sleep for 5 hours. Started the day over so am still on morning coffee at 3 PM. And thinking that I have to just do this right and be done with it.
 
Started off this morning with turkey sausage and eggs. Planning on tuna and cottage cheese for lunch and dukan meatballs for dinner. Gotta love PP days
 
Stayed on plan yesterday. Today gallette for breakfast, beef vegetable stew for lunch and chicken curry for dinner.
 
You sound so strong Sander. To plug on nonetheless when feeling the way you have been is amazing. (As for that poor lady being unwell at your table - that really would have finished me off. I'm very good with cat output from any orifice, but human doings turn my stomach!! haaaaaa!)

When will the medics decide re your hysterectomy or not? It does sound as if someone needs to sort things out for you.

I do feel for you with the anniversary of your Mum's death approaching. Mine died on 2 November. All Souls Day. The 1st is a holiday here (All Saints Day) and the French are very traditional about using the day to visit their graves. (I visit their graves too!) Even though my Mum didn't see me slim, I know my Mum would be so pleased to see me as I am now (even if I am hung up on losing 14lbs or so again...) and so I actually find I can use her memory and her constant helping me to try one of my many miracle diets in the past to motivate me.

Hang in there and stay strong
x
 
Haha - I'm not strong - in fact I just decided to jump off Dukan and onto a new diet because I am not strong enough for Dukan this go round - I ended up having to go to the doctor for the migraine and ended up in urgent care and I was told I needed to eat more balanced, less protein, more complex carbs - my body is all out of whack. 8 days of migraine is not fun and now I have shakiness due to all the meds they pumped through me to break the migraine. Lots of rest and water.

So the diet I picked for this go round is called the SHRED. It seems very balanced and sane, although a bit on the boring side. One thing I like about it is that t is designed in a 6 week cycle. Each week has a slightly different plan and then you repeat the cycles as needed until you get to TW. Coming off of Dukan where I am looking at being in the cruise and conso phases for so long, the shorter phases are appealing. It also includes fruit which I miss terribly. It also limits the coffee to one cup of day, which will be hard (although better for my blood pressure), but I can have green tea in unlimited amounts, so I should be fine :) My blood pressure during the migraine episode got up to 156/112 which is pretty high for me, post-migraine it was 108/80 (I think I was still under the influence of the meds)
 
Good luck with the shred Sander, glad that you're feeling a bit better. Just off to google SHRED
 
Hey sander! Sorry to hear about the migraines and I hope the new diet works for you. Have a nice weekend. Cx
 
Just checking in -new diet is harder and slower than Dukan :( but it does seem to help keep the migaines at bay. I'm not sure why the hormonal changes have made it so that the high protein levels are no longer compatible with me. I actually have had to cut my protein intake way down to keep the headaches away. So I am eating a lot of veggies, a few fruits, a few nuts, a little protein and a little whole grain. Lots of water, less caffeine, more juice. Which is weird, but for some reason a small serving of juice is recommended with each meal along with 2 glasses of water. My digestion and energy have improved and I am feeling a lot better. Weigh twise - I lost 3 pounds on week one... Starting week two now. I still haven't been able to get consistent with exercise, which was a problem for me on Dukan as well, but I will keep trying. My hubby and I are having our 25 wedding anniversary in Dec. 2014 and we are planning an island getaway to celebrate, so it would be nice to be able to feel comfortable in a bathing suit :)
 
I am glad your new way of eating is working better for you, but don't be a stranger Sander you know how nosy we all are so keep us updated. xx
 
Hey Sander, it was lovely to see you back on here when I dared come back yesterday - good luck Shredding! Have a wonderful anniversary, my tenth anniversary is also in December and my hubby is talking about us getting some le creuset for each other - an island break sounds much better :D
 
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