The Chatterbox scored a try - help please!

[Dub07]

I could scream. I knew at 11pm last night that I was going to have a difficult time. I have sleeping tablets - Stilnocht - for when I can't sleep since a health scare in May. Did I take one? No.
I tossed, turned, felt my belly, had nightmares, felt hungry, felt thirsty, drank water. Fell asleep at 7am and when I got up at 9am, I came on here and promptly went to M&S.

Despite being only relatively good in the last 7 weeks, I've lost over 2 stone. So with my CDC on hols, having told me to text/phone/email her if I hit a bad patch, I got stroppy and assured her that I'd a) be fine and b) lose 5lb a week over the 3 weeks till I saw her again.

It was all going swimmingly till I bought the pork pie and brazil nuts. I haven't actually enjoyed a pork pie since about 1986ish, so a bit of it and it went to the back of the fridge, but the brazil nuts were mmmmm till I realised I'd eaten half a bag.

No excuses. I took an hour out of my life last night to mantra the "don't need it, just desire it" thing. I wasn't about to die of hunger. I'm fat because I eat too much and don't exercise enough. I could start to complain about my health, being on steroid tablets or myriad other excuses, but the fact remains that only I can take control of my health and that entails a few months of not acting on every impulsive desire for food which I experience. It's bloody tough at times though and it's beaten me for a bit today.

I'm going to try to switch off for a bit and log on for support later - any comments gratefully received - I know I'm not the first person to be in this spot, but I soooo don't want to give up.

 

[paula 36]

o chick sorry your having a bad time ,youve done sooooooooo well ,concentrate on how well youve done.
YOU CAN DO THISXX

 

[Dub07]

Thanks so much, Paula

Sometimes I only really learn by failing though. I was getting cocky and judgemental in some ways and you know what "they" say about pride coming before a fall? Ouch. Today hasn't been much better, but I know what's going on. I've been on steroids pills since a health-disaster in May, and have gradually gotten that stereotypical moon-face from them. :cry:

Starting CD in August has resulted in losing almost 2 stone, but even though it normally falls off my face first, with these damn pills I look fatter from the neck up rather than skinnier. Got instructions this week that I will have to keep taking the steroids till last week of October instead of last week of September so blahhhhhh... I'm revolting.

So, being frozen from CD all the time, my options to show off my weight-loss are to a) wear a bikini in Sept/Oct around town (not a good idea) or b) wait. :tear_drop::tear_drop::tear_drop:

Or I could just stop the steroids off my own bat. But my lungs might stop working again and being on a ventilator is kindof unpleasant. You can't complain effectively if you have to write things down. Perhaps I'll take a crash course in sign language.

 

[paula 36]

oh honey make sure you take them as you will be poorly,take care loveyxx

 

[Dub07]

Take them? The maltesers or the steroids, Paula?

Oops. I didn't mention the Maltesers, did I. But they're advertised as having practically no calories at all - they must be good for me.

~nonchalant fat-girl whistles~


Psssst: Thanks ((((hugs))))

 

[debz32]

Hiya - well done on your fab loss so far....!!

never mind bout the brazil nuts....least you enjoyed them !!

onwards and downwards....get back on that wagon...and get those pounds off !!!

keep us posted on your progress.....

Debz xx

 

[paula 36]

have both chick your worth it lolxx

 

[Heaven can wait]

Hiya Dub

You know we are all the same with beating our selves up when we fail its so destructive because it makes you eat more because you think you have let yourself down. I do it and its stupid , stupid , stupid and I know its been said before but just put it behind you and get straight back on.
I am a firm believer that the times we manage to keep on track , more than outweigh the times we dont , this diet works! all we really have to do is keep at it , the real way to fail is to give up , and we are not doing that are we?
HCW

 

[Dub07]

(((group hugs)))


Dee is so gonna shoot me when she reads this - or she would if she wasn't so nice. Debz - I think you & Dee went through losing & training at the same time. She's enjoying a hard-earned break right now, and I miss her support! I know I could text her (she told me to), but ffs, doesn't everyone need to switch right off?

Thank you all. I'd say "fffft, I'm fine" except I don't quite know if I am just yet. The support is sooooo much help.

A toe in the backside might work better, but the kindness works very well indeed Tomorrow is another day and the brazil nuts are almost finished. If I'm premenstrual perhaps I needed the vitamins . I actually binned the pork pie which fatpossum probably wouldn't believe from me.