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THE day before

I went from 12 stone to 10 stone a year and a half ago on CD. Yet here I am again - 12 stone. And I wonder why? Am I addicted to food? To chocolate? To cakes? Have you seen the news lately when they say obesity is on the increase..and they show a pile of cakes? Well, rather than be knocked sick at the sight - I think mmmm yummy :p AND it's THIS that has got to change. Hydrogenated fat really must become my foe rather than friend in 2008!

People say I don't have much to lose, but to me - this two/thee stone might as well be twenty. It has recently become all consuming. I wonder if I should be in flippen therapy or something?! I also suspect other people may look at me and think I have it made: well educated, good healthy realtionships with boyfriend and family, the start of a great career (graduated in June) blah blah ....and I admit, yes I'm lucky BUT what's with these food issues??? Somebody please tell me!!

The only thing I can loosly attribute it to is that I was given 'yummies' for a treat as a child. I was also, like trillions of other kids, made to finish what was on my plate. What an excuse though. As an adult I seem to eat chocolate and takeaway when Im happy and bored. Is this my problem? Or is it that have I just gotten so lazy/ cozy in my relalationship with my other half that I have got so big?

Last year from Jan to May ish I was considering coming back to CD and I remember how I watched people on this very site lose a few stone (hurrah to them) - all the while I 'thought' about doing CD. Aha - procrastination is defo a prob for me then lol.

I don't want to be in this very same place in April so these are my reasons for coming back to CD:

* I'm worried about my health.
* Im considered obese for my frame (5.3 and 12 stone 3).
* I'm embarrassed to go for a smear because I feel so fat.
* I'm the chunky sister.
* My lovely make up and nice hair just isn't hiding it - I look big.
* I'm avoiding seeing friends who I haven't seen for a while b'coz I feel so big. (shocking I know)
* I'm wearing a size 16 now - my friends/colleagues are 8-10.
* My thighs are so out of proportion to the rest of my body that I haven't worn jeans since June.
* I'v never worn a bikini ever.
* I lack energy
* I'd like to wear sexy underwear again.
* I wonder what it would be like to be 8 stone rather than 12.
* No exercise - despite owning a treadmill. (I live in London and until September had to walk everywhere. Fab, but I now have a job that I have to drive too oh dear).
* It's set to snow today and the last button on my winter coat wont fasten.

These are the main reasons off the top of my head - Im sure there are hundreds more.

I'm going to take the bull by the horns and write about my experiences. I plan to write about my weight loss journey. Who knows - I may vanish from the boards and fail miserably or I may manage to cling on and post posts. I know full well how hard CD is, albeit rewarding.

I feel a little bit lighter already :p

My mantra will be 1 day at a time. But can I manage to do even a day?

Let's see - tomorrow is my Day 1.

Wish me luck:eek:
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Hey there Louise - thanks for sharing - such an honest post. I'm sure many of us can soooo identify with where you are right now (I definintely can !!)

New Year, new start, NEW YOU !! :D

Will be watching for your progress....you can beat this weight once and for all !


Debz xx


Full Member
S: 17st7lb C: 17st1lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 41 Loss: 0st6lb(2.45%)
good luck Louise,your post was like reading how I feel but i have got 95lbs to lose!

Day 2 for me now-we can do it!


S: 14st1lb C: 8st10lb BMI: 23 Loss: 5st5lb(38.07%)
Good luck Louise, keep coming back to your post to remind yourself of all the reasons you are doing this as it is sure to help.



Regular Member
Ditto...good luck louise.

I'm now down to 12st 3lbs (from over 14stones). I'm 5ft 6 and like you I feel very fat. My friends tell me I look great, but I don't feel great....FAR from it. Lots of people are telling me how much weight I've lost and I think they mean 'slim for Sharon'. I can't wait to one day wake up and just feel slim...not 'slim for Sharon'. I think lots of us feel the same way. It was great reading your post...thanks for sharing.

Good luck hun.
I was like you once. I was always just a bit bigger than everyone else, but very self conscious about it. I had maybe 2 stone, or a little bit more to lose, and instead of doing that I stopped being the person I once was. I stopped enjoying going out and meeting people, stopped swimming (which I loved), stopped even having smear tests. I had good friends, a great family,and a wonderful boyfriend, so I thought I was fine. Then suddenly - ten years on, the boyfriend is now my husband, I have two children, we live in a nice house, and I suddenly realise Im 22 stone. I can honestly say I didn't see it happen -didn't want to see, is probably more accurate. I started CD in September and have lost almost 5 and a half stone so far, so all is going well - but initially I was SO angry at myself for getting in the state I was in.

Why am I telling you all this? I have no idea really but your story strikes such a chord with me. It could have been me writing it, ten years ago.

I have never worn a bikini either and now I never will, because I left it too late. However much weight I lose my body will never recover completely - but yours will. If you stick to it, in two months you'll probably be at target. Imagine a summer wearing what you want to and looking fabulous. Its definitely worth it.

Good Luck. We are all here for you x
Goodness SL that sounds just like me. Im on day four a so desperatly craving all those naughty things I like.

My mind is playing tricks with me. Have some chocolate and start again tomorrow. Im so very very nearly tempted, had it not been for the support from people on this site I may have caved in. But no - be strong and come through together.:)
Hi SlimLouise,

How are you doing?

Remember - You can do this! I'm the same height as you, and started just above you in weight, and am now almost 10 stone - and yes, it wasn't easy at times, and yes, I still get cravings, and yes, I ate over Xmas, BUT I didn't eat as much as I normally do over xmas, and my stomach shrunk so much that I feel full-up with such a small amount.

I NEVER thought I'd be able to do this, or that it would work for me, but it did - and I'm determined to get to my goal (9.7) and to keep it off -which I will do as I love the feeling of feeling slim more than food!!!

Good luck :)
S: 12st7.0lb G: 10st5.0lb
Hi slimLouise

How are you, it feels like you are talking about my pass year and a half, I lost 3 stones, got myself to 10 stone, which was just right, I felt good, look good and now I just feel fat.

Now I just feel fat. I have put on 2 stones, 10 stones gone to 12 and I feel awful, I am 5ft.6.

I have restarted again yeaterday, I have been here so many time, but just give up on the 3rd day, But I think new year, new me, Forever.

Anyway, to us, Good luck..................:)
Day 1 – done!

The tin of Quality Street (QS) has been winking at me all day long BUT I have won today’s battle and have managed to ignore it. The said tin is now pushed away in a cupboard for the boyfriend to consume, without me by his side willing to chomp. I know full well he’s licking his lips at the thought of all the ‘best ones’ to eat for himself. Rightly so I remind myself – he’s lacking any serious bulge.

Thank you to all of the good luck posts, bit of a cliché but they actually do help to motivate don’t they? Fantastic. Oh will I become one of those people who say’s ‘There’s nothing that taste’s quite as good as feeling slim’. Yes please :)

So, today’s strategy has worked and while I haven’t breezed through the day I've only struggled a bit tonight.
My Day One strategy:

1) Took a walk to M&S to fill breakfast time.
2) Watched an afternoon movie – Die Hard 4.0. Can you tell how desperate I was? Should have really been cleaning the bathroom but was lacking energy (note to self: will prob lack energy for such exercise even when I’m thin lol)
3) Drank 4 litres of water – that’s 10 glasses. Insane.
4) Replied to emails.
5) Needed the loo approx 60 times.
6) Lurked on minimims for inspiration (thank you to my fellow comrades in Weight Loss battle)
7) Read a chapter of my new chic lit

So a good day, however – I have found that I am distinctly distracted by thoughts of food. It’s almost like an addiction. I have constantly told myself that CD is like being a member of AA and I must abstain, that my flat is now The Priory. Yet a little voice in my head has persisted in telling me that crash diets don’t work etc - although the thin me (who is just desperate to escape her shackles) has replied “Yes this is the reaction of a chocolate addict and you must abstain with the twelve steps’ (Not actually sure what the 12 steps are and I must immediately investigate for my future motivation) The thinner me won the argument today when she astutely reminded the chunky me that the food packs have all the daily vitamins and minerals needed so I should not feel hard too done by when not allowing myself anything from the QS tin.

So onwards to Day 2 – I’m dreading being cold but I’m looking forward to an abundance of energy, glorious skin, shiny hair, choc mint shakes and sparkly eyes. Oh and fitting in those blasted size 14 GAP jeans again grrr.

Now I must fill up the depleted stock of loo roll before bed.

Day Two – and here I nervously tread.

Wish me luck


S: 15st2lb C: 13st0lb BMI: 28.5 Loss: 2st2lb(14.15%)
:happy096: Well done huni! Just keep glugging as much :tear_drop: as you can it really does help. Vx
DAY 2 – Semi successful?!

Well my fellow CD’ers,today was nothing but tortuous for me.

Went to boyfriend’s sister’s house who has recently had a baby. She called beforehand to ask us if we would be having lunch with them like usual? It then occurred to me that I associate her house with delicious scrumptious home cooking followed by chocolate for dessert. Who knew?!!! So as expected and inturn came my first CD lie. No thankyou so much but we were planning a lovely brunch before we left. Yes brunch indeed - Cd brunch that is. Black coffee, glass of water and a choc shake. Delightful *sulk sulk*.

So I met the new baby and we passed on some Christmas presents we had forgotten to give. Yes all ok at that point. BUT it wasnt to continue as she then opened the gigantic present that was a box of Mini Toblerones. I did a mental Uri Gellar and willed her to open the box and offer me one BUT I was spared when she passed me the new sprog instead and put the choccies to one side. THANK YOU GOD I was saved – but the guilty box stayed in the corner of my eye all afternoon. It was like looking at that blasted tin of QS in my house.

The rest of the day was uneventful until 9pm when malicious thoughts started running absolute amok in my mind…..

'Slim Lou you poor girl you’re starving to death, you’re starving, give me sweets Slim Lou, please give me sweets and it will all be ok’.

So in the end dear reader I just couldn’t stand it another second and I semi caved and had a CD peanut bar along with a zero coke whoopee.
When boyfriend and I got into bed an hour later, he congratulated me on my 2nd day. I responded with a plea to please go to sleep before the urge to pay the ‘yummy’ cupboard a visit became too strong for my diet weary self to resist.

EMOTIONAL EATING demons ….you better beware because I am well and truly on to your game now!!!!:mad:


S: 15st2lb C: 13st0lb BMI: 28.5 Loss: 2st2lb(14.15%)
Hi Slimlouise - Loved your post! Your day was very much like mine - dodging and diving food all day - it's exhausting isn't it? Well done for being strong - it will be worth it!
Day 3 – DONE!

Wayhey – I managed to complete my 3rd day. Sunday is always hard as BF likes to enjoy yummy food before Monday and back to another week of toil at work.
Rather than watching him butter his Sunday morning toast, I read the Sunday papers which took me around 3 hours. Then I went for a walk into town for some tights from M&S. And guess what? I stuck with a size medium because I now know my weight is no longer on the increase. A few weeks ago I was contemplating having to eventually go up a size to large. It’s only a small victory and all in my head but something to keep me going for another day. Medium M&S tights to stay whoppee.

Haven’t had a headache yet and my mantra remains ‘just one day at a time’. Had a furry mouth this afternoon though so think I should be in ketosis by tomorrow morning.

This diet is so hard, so so hard yet I have already started to lose some of the bloating on my stomach. I haven’t allowed myself to think about how I could be a size 10 in three months if I can keep it up – yet today I have briefly started to think about possibly being able to get back in my jeans at the beg of Feb.

Angelchops message has really made me sit up and think. Yes I too have always been just slightly bigger than everyone else. Have always managed to get away with it by having a ‘pretty face’ and outgoing fun personality. Thank you Angelchops, I have thought about your post a lot. Am I lazy for not going the gym? Do I have a food addiction? Why am I so terrified of being slim? Answers on a postcard please!

Regardless of thindom fears he he I reckon if I can get through to Friday I might be on my way to slimdom. BUT it’s still too early to assume, as temptation most definitely lies around every corner for me at the mo.

I have noticed that those who seem to be most successful at keeping the weight off have done the maintenance plan. I’m going to start thinking about how I will keep this weight off when I have lost it. I have an awful feeling that losing the weight is the hardest part. Otherwise why did I get to 10 stone last year and put it back on again? Again Ans on a postc.
God this is so hard – but what I can easily say at the end of Day three is the QS tin lid is firmly on tonight and not a distraction.

SO onwards to Day 4 now (yikes) :eek:
Wish me luck or at the least a visit from the K fairy tomorrow.
Goodness me - I restarted CD last Friday and I have actually got to Saturday without cheating!! That's 8 days.....Woooooooooo :talk017:

I had my weigh in yesterday and have lost 8 pounds.
This week has been crazy busy plus I have been under quite a bit of pressure at work - I think being that busy has helped to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Things to learn - I'm in ketosis whoohooo yet I didnt have my 3rd pack until 9pm on 2 nights and it was on those evenings that I almost caved to what else but my nemesis the Quality Street Tin.
I was so tired last night I even opened the lid to smell and look at the chocs. Had my other half saying dont do it dont do it BUT then I noticed something ........he has actually scoffed HALF the tin!:eek:
Half the tin in a week and he hasnt put any weight on?! So lid was closed and onwards and upwards to fitting in my old jeans and feeling slim.

Also, I have noticed the CD boards are starting to fill with stories of those who have lost weight since xmas.
FAB and well done - am going to try and be one of those people who are at target by April.

Weekend will be trying for me as surrounded with yummy food. Tastes seem to be changing from desire for yummies to desire for savoury and Jamie Oliver apart.....CHICKEN:drool:

So here goes week two, can I do it? :)
Well done on surviving your first week - and on a FAB loss :D

lovin your diary thread - very amusing - you write so well !!

will await the next installment......

Debz xx
S: 14st1lb C: 8st10lb BMI: 23 Loss: 5st5lb(38.07%)
Great loss, you are doing sooo well, stick with it!


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