The Highs and Lows of Development

Hi

Been away for most of the last 3 weeks and just catching up on minimins now. I haven't had a great time with abstinence and have been out of ketosis more than I have been in it over the last few weeks - not eating vast amounts but as I shouldn't be eating anything I am not happy about this. Anyway I am back on day one of abstinence today and fingers crossed. I have enjoyed what I have eaten but none of it was so fantastic that I can't live without it for a bit longer so I am hoping that I have given myself the break I needed and that I can refocus on my last 3 months or so of abstinence with a fresh mind. I was thinking of going through management soon then losing my last 3 months afterwards, now I am thinking and hoping that I can see it through to the end without having a major break in the middle.

How is everyone else doing?

Tiger Girl - did you come up with any rewards that didn't involve spending money on yourself? I want to set myself a reward for sticking to abstinence for the next month but cannot think of a single thing I want.

Mrs Lard - Thanks for mentioning that week 1 of management can go on for longer, I didn't know that and think its a really useful piece of information. Your Guide To LighterLife’s Development Programme is really interesting too, Thanks very much. I have printed this out as usual!

This is my favourite thread and everyone has posted really interesting stuff. Thanks to you all!



 
Helen :D
Welcome back!
I've just realised you and I have lost exactly the same amount. And my target is the absolute highest target I could've set, there's every chance I will want to be considerably lower, so I am now earmarking you as my LL twin! :D

No, I haven't yet found any non financial rewards. I'd written a list which I was hoping would really make me think about the gym being a reward as I was able to have some proper 'me' time and get loads of benefit from it. But then realised that I pay to go to the gym, and even in my current angelic state of pure abstinence and scales all showing great things, the gym being a reward is even a bit too worthy for me in current angelic state!! Ho-ho...
I also had 'going to bed 10.30 latest' as a reward. Well it's currently midnight so that one didn't last the distance.
So all in all I've been a bit rubbish on the non financial reward front. Any ideas?
Hope you're ok getting back into ketosis. I honestly think that I too was out of k. for most of the time across a 7 week period. This week I actually had migraine (I've never suffered from a proper migraine in my life!) Oh and the stomach pains...not great. But I got through it and after 2 days of feeling rubbish I reached the other side. It's funny but I didn't have any problems or side effects at all when I got started. Hey-ho, it's all sorted now.
I've got loads of hols and work trips coming up soon so a little worried about all of that, but choosing not to think about it just now and feeling very focused on the fact that management is within reach, I've had a million and one breakthroughs and I've DEFINITELY come through the dark days!
:D
 
Well I've been to my first development class and not a sole stayed except me, so I had the locum all to myself we just sat and chatted about our weight loss holidays etc, but I didnt mind. The other ladies while waiting to be weighed told each other how bad they had been and what they had eating all new each other from another class i was the new one, there conversation went on like this. I have eaten so much this week eating everything not done it at all its so hard to do and the others agreed they had been eating as well. When they got weighed they moaned that they had either stayed the same or put on and they said they cant make out why! so they were not going to stay they said that all the way through foundation they had been good and all of them had lost a lot of weight and looked good this was there second week in development and have not been good since, there must be this mental thing about 100 days finished foundation now whats development about! they don't seem to realise that its just a continuation of foundation, this is how I am dealing with it because it doesn't matter what you call it if you still have weight to lose then its the same as foundation but you are a bit nearer to you goal. sorry to babble on but felt I needed to wright this down.
 
Dear Lotty

Sorry you had such a negative first Development session; that's not good at all. As you will see from this thread, so many of us have been grappling with Development.

Your frustrations are understandable and it's good to write them down. I have just moved to Route to Management - couldn't hack Development any more- and I have written a post on my blog (The Lard Arms) - sorry, shameless plug - about deviating from the programme (which I did during Development).

Basically, I think so many of us adopt this 'interpretative' approach - we take what we want from the programme and then get frustrated when it doesn't work. But it IS a no brainer, if you think about it, which you are doing.

I think I was also in denial for a lot of Development - for all sorts of reasons - and that's why I did 'interpretative development', which didn't work!

This thread is a fantastic lifeline for Developers and I urge you to check out my guide to Development, which was based on so much from here - contributions from Tiger Girl, Cerulean and Sandra EG.

You need to be super strong in Development but it's a different kind of discipline; looking at your ticker, if you stay focused and ignore the food chat from others, you will whizz through this in-between phase.

I wish you well and even though I am on the OTHER side now, I will still check in here. It's such an important thread!

Take care.

Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Dear Helen

How are you? Sorry, I haven't checked in for a few days - RtM challenges and all that (!) - I hope you are ok.

If you can stay the Development distance, I would urge you to - simply because I jumped ship early (still with some pounds to shift) and it has messed things up a bit. Rather than focus on Route to Management, I have been focusing on losing weight, which really is at odds with what we are all trying to do.

I had a lightbulb moment following this weeks's class, which I am going to post here and maybe start a separate thread too. I am really hoping it helps others, too.

Take care, and as I mentioned to Lotty, I will be checking in on here. It's too important to miss!

Good luck and well done for getting back in the zone!

Mrs L xxxxxxxxx
 
Mrs L - thank you so much for your guide to Development. Although I still have 5 weeks to go before I reach Development, I found your beginnner's guide to Foundation invaluable so I've saved your Foundation guide and will study it carefully. I imagine I'll have exactly the same struggles as the rest of you, so want to make sure I have the right armour to protect me. :)

Re: your comments about hair loss and why it should happen along with introduction of food (regardless of whether that's Maintenance food or a lapse), I'm not a weight loss expert or scientist either (I wish I was - I'd earn a blinkin fortune :D) but our LLC told us the following: During abstinence, any bodily processes (such as nail and hair growth) that are non-vital are slowed right down. So during abstinence you should find that you lose much less hair every day than you did before you started LL. This is definitely the case for me. However, once you start introducing food again, your body thinks that it now has more energy so can start up those non-vital processes again. Therefore, your hair starts growing and starts pushing out the dead hair resulting in - what appears to be huge- hair loss. It's not really any more hair than you would have lost over the same period, but because it looks like a load all in 1 go, you think you're going to go bald, but of course you don't. Then, once all the old dead hair is pushed out for the new re-growth, you'll see a slowdown of loss and it will go back to normal.

Hope that makes sense (you'd never think I had a degree in Linguistics would you?!)

Anyhow, I'm not sure if this is true or not, but it makes sense, so I'm clinging onto it! :)
 
TG, yes I would be delighted to be your LL twin! However, I have been seriously considering transferring to CD though and have actually got as far as emailing a couple of the counsellors earlier. My reasons for this is largely that there is me and 1 other left in our group and she goes into management in the next month, I will then be on my own. I don't feel like I am getting much out of the counselling and can't transfer to a bigger group because of childcare (all the other groups are evenings and DH is often away and no nursery open in this area in eve). If I transfer to CD I will save £42 a week (inc child care I currently have to pay) and we do really need the money. Also I am thinking that the change might do me good - different flavoured shakes, bars that hopefully don't make me gag, and soup that isn't powdery - currently only have 3 flavoured sweet shakes I like so it is a bit boring. Plus I have 3 months or so left so can add a food week in every 5th week (I think) if I like without any guilt. So ..... do you still want me to be your twin:)

Mrs Lard, thanks for your advice too regarding early management. I have taken it on board and will bear it in mind once I have made my mind up about transferring to CD. Even if I do transfer btw I think I will buy the management books etc off ebay so I have all the LL tools at my disposal.

I am afraid I didn't get "back in the zone" yesterday but rest of family are back here now after 3 days away so I am seriously getting "back in the zone" today and hopefully will have lost everything I have gained by monday weigh-in. I know that what I have gained isn't fat as I haven't eaten THAT much. If I do show a gain it will serve me right though so will just have to grit my teeth and face the music.

I hope you are coping with your RtM journey. I am so worried that permission to eat will result in eating for England.
 
Mrs Lighter Lardarms LOL thank you for your response to my ramblings :blahblah:I'm looking forward to joining you and others in management, 3 weeks at the most I hope,:innocent0001: glad you are keeping an eye on us, always like what your view's are on LL:thankyou:
 
Hey Developers :D

Helen - I am happy to be your *weight loss* twin - CD or LL based! I put on last week for the first time in 26 weeks. It was a good kick to get very focused on abstinence and I popped in yesterday to discover that I had lost 6.5lb's in 5 days. Brilliant. The 4lb I added has now given me a 2lb loss for the week and the scales continue to drop. I'm getting weighed twice a week from this point onwards to help me out on the practical front. I'd been seriously neglecting the practicalities due to the emotional meltdowns I was having!

I'm discovering the meaning of 'be kind to yourself' just now. I'm not sure I've ever really practised this without the aid of food. The emotional angst which stretched across an entire 7 weeks just took it out of me. I looked at my numbers and all in all it's taken me 9 weeks to lose 1 stone. Talk about making things as difficult as you possibly can for yourself! I am learning that I'm so much better at making things hard for myself in general, than I thought possible.

I am the master of creating drama and pushing myself to the very last minute on deadlines, anything that requires organisational skills and goal setting. It is a real downfall for me.

Where does this fit with LL?
Well, the 7 week stretch is a brilliant example of this. Rebellious child dragging feet, kicking, screaming and crying all the way to weekly weigh ins, with the critical parent barking 'you're useless, why are you failing - why - WHY?' all the way. Oh what joy!


Somewhere in the middle of all of this, someone switched on the 'lighten up' button. What a relief that was! So I'm now officially in my lightened up phase of Development. It's not particularly exciting, or insightful, or inspirational, but it's definitely working. I've refound the focus on the numbers front and the practicalities. And emotionally, I'm calling off the search for the answers - just for a little while. I need to take a break. 7 weeks of lightbulb moments and genuine fear about the future - great, but that's enough for now. I journal stuff like a crazy person, so I have all of my 'learnings' fully documented and can dip into them whenever I need to.

But today, I think I'll just clean my kitchen and consider that top achievement of the day. I know, I'm just rivetting company right now aren't I?!

Happy weekend everyone :D
 
Thanks TG, I would love to be your twin! Did this with someone about 8 years ago on a handspinning forum and we still email each other and send xmas and birthday presents (not that I am suggesting for one minute that you have to!) and although she lives in America and we have never met I consider her to be one of my closest friends. So you may find it hard to get rid of me!

Your weight loss is excellent, fingers crossed that I can do so well. I need to lose about another 4lb by monday morning to not show a gain. However you are now beating me, not fair! I managed yesterday to stick to 4 food packs and nothing else, just worked out that was about the first time in a week that I hadn't had ANYTHING I shouldn't have had although some days it was just milk in coffee - still not allowed though. To be honest sticking to plan yesterday was quite easy - I felt so bloated from the day before!

I am the master of creating drama and pushing myself to the very last minute on deadlines, anything that requires organisational skills and goal setting. It is a real downfall for me

Sounds like a twin thing to me - I know exactly what you mean.

Several people have said to me that we can analyse stuff too much, maybe just chilling out about analysing for a while is just what you need. If you leave something difficult for a while and go back to it, sometimes the path is then clear as you have had time to consolidate things in your head without even realising it.

I can't remember whether I said but have a meeting with CD counsellor on monday. I am feeling much more motivated and positive than I have done for ages and just hope that the change is what I need and I don't end up rocking the boat and having another wobbily!

Feel free to PM me if you like, if you want to be an "off-forum twin" too
 
Just caught up. Havent been on here this week as have had a tough & busy week. I put a pound on (& no still not cheated!) this week which really anoyed me & have come to the decision that I will give development a month & if losses dont even out a bit by then will go into management. With low BP & poor losses maybe my body is telling me something! Anyway we will see; I dont want to stop until I feel ready to (not going anywhere near a BMI of 22 though!) but also not going to put my health at risk. Suspect PMT the main culprit for struggling this week so have had a quiet weekend (made jam!) and off to bed now in the hope that a shiny new, rested & positve me will wake up tomorrow! Quite agree with the chill out bit - all this thinking is exhausting!
 
Hi ISOM

Just want to acknowledge your herculean efforts on abstinence! Awesome - literally! My BP dropped and then picked up again; GP flagged it up but allowed me to continue but acupuncturist was v.concerned. See how you do. Big reminder - you can repeat weeks in Management so if you fancy doing several weeks of Week 1, you can. Sometimes, knowing you have a choice allows you to stick with what you are doing, if that makes sense.

Take care.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxx
 
Thanks for that! I so nearly went nuts yesterday when I had to taste a bit of the apple jam I made to see if it was burned - well it was burned but whether it was salvagable burned or chuck it burned (literally just a fingernail size so I really dont think that counts?!). Nearly went into "what the hell" mode & carried on but didnt so lesson learned - no more cooking! Having a quiet day today & just going to allotment for a bit for some fresh air! Hugs all! Seriously, this stage can only get better - its the pits.
 
Hey Developers :D

What a perfect day of LL. Absolute model-esque behaviour and a fabulous session in the gym. Oh why can't everyday be like this?! :D

Today's dillemma is a number based one.
I'm 13st (at least weeks WI), but I'm a size 12/14. My tracker target is a BMI target, not a goal weight. I'd thought 10st 7 was the magic number for me but I'm now upping it to 11.7 for management. When I get to 11.7 then I shall review.

Sarah (Cerulean) posted a little while back about 'that last stone being the business'. I truly think that this bit of development, from a weight loss perspective, is going to be the business. A very tricky business, but I think the last hurdle of the transformation is absolutely in sight and I'm going to leap over it. Brilliant :D

I've got loads of travel coming up - work and holiday. Lots and lots of hurdles, and at 26weeks in...well, it's just mind numbing right now. However, in the spirit of having the perfect day I am choosing to revel in a day of success instead of worrying about September.

Helen - can't wait to hear how it goes with CD. I shall be keeping an eye on my twinnie's tracker! Hope you stick with us on the Developers thread though. The lightening up phase is working for me just now. When you're doing this and hitting the big numbers - and you're prone to over analysing anyway, well I've just totally mentally exhausted myself. But it's been such a huge part of the journey for me.
Today I had a fabulous moment when my stomach grumbled because I was actually hungry. Sounds so simple, but seriously learning the difference between hunger of the real kind and the emotional kind has been huge. I actually liked and enjoyed the feeling of knowing that I knew I was physically hungry, so I let it go on for quite some time!! What a weirdo :D

ISOM - your stilleto is inching closer to target on your tracker :)
I echo Mrs L's words - your abstinence record is positively heroic :grouphugg:

Hope everyone has had a great weekend :D
 
The numbers are very difficult - my recent Management Meltdown has showed me that that extra stone I took off was a much needed buffer zone!

The stone I have put back on in what I assume is glycogen has made no change to my dress size and perception of myself, but I do know that if I put on any more, that that would change. I am at my limit, so the tw*tting about has to stop at this weight! I am glad in a way that I am going to avoid official weighing until maybe next Sunday probably the Sunday after - so hopefully I can shed my glycogen and any fat my wild and crazy days have added to my body mass by then.

Setting a rough time limit and approximate number is useful, I think - although these last few weeks on SS are woefully unpredictable and desperately frustratingly slow - and I think maybe I should have listened to my LLC's advice and taken off the extra 7lbs - but that said, my losses had got so slow that that could have taken another month!
 
Morning everyone

Here's my take - I jumped ship because I just couldn't take Development any more! BUT this means I went into Route to Management with weight to lose, which ISSSS feasible IFFFF you stick 100% to the plan. If Development has been hard (ha!), the mental energy required for RtM seems even more immense. And I started RtM with weight loss in mind, not getting into a Management mindset.

So then the old crappy Development mind games came out. Big time. And now my weight is going UP and I feel despondent.

I've written off yesterday. Anyway, that's my contribution.

Big kiss.

Fed Up of the OTHER side!
 
Do you recon if we all think enough our brains will explode?!! Had an exhausting day (eyes hurt from he crying...I rarely do & when I do, I cant stop!) but back in the YOU CAN DO IT zone thank goodness! Going to get an eary night & get back to basics & just push through this last month before starting management...I dont care what anyone says - if I stop now I will feel I've failed! Hang in there girls!
 
Oh Developers and early birds in RtM...rollercoaster madness all round by the sounds of it.

After the PERFECT-ness of yesterday, the AWFUL-ness of today was just unbelievable. I have been plagued by the demons today - like a mind and body invasion on a scale not yet encountered, even on the most tricky Development days. And I've given in to every single one of them. Well, I say that, but the battles won were then lost probably about 5-10minutes later - it's been that rapid.

Mrs L - I'm following your 'write today off' sentiment. It's the only way.

ISOM - yes, I do actually think my brain is about to explode, god only knows what would happen if the Developers thread put theirs together - we would blow up the entire board in a second. Sorry you've had a big tears day. I too could put my head on this very keyboard now and sob - with you all the way on that one.


Sarah - totally with you on the numbers front and SO want to have that buffer built in, but I know that I cannot go beyond end Sep in Development. That will take me up to 230 days. Do we actually know anyone who has done more than this??? If anyone is reading - PLEASE post, my LLC did just under 4 months and whilst there is sympathy on how I'm feeling right now, I'm not sure there is a huge amount of empathy. Maybe there are heaps of Mini's who've gone longer than this pre management and I'm just nailing myself to the cross?

Anyway, at time of writing I'm thinking 6 more weeks and hopefully 11.7st is my management goal. I'm pretty certain that 11.7st is not my ideal weight goal but to be honest, I'm so scared that if I dont get myself to management soon bad things are going to happen. I've been balancing the risk in the wobbliest way imaginable for the last 7 weeks (never forget, 9 weeks to get the last stone off!)
I think it's the best solution.
11.7st was my original goal at the start of Foundation, it was only when 5st quite literally fell off me that I started to think lower. Right now going lower just doesn't appear to be an option for me.
With the amount of work trips and holidays coming up I'm just not certain that I'm going to hit 11.7st to be honest, but a 6 week countdown feels more exciting than the thought of toast and jam right now, so regardless of where I am weight wise, 6 weeks and I'm done. That is the plan.

So, with my utterly crap and non focused 'goals' (she says as she reaches for Beechy's book, "Get up and do it! Essential steps to achieve your goals") I'm on the final countdown.

I'm off to make a plan with Beechy. I'll report back!
 
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