the journey of colly...no longer vlcd-ing.

I really feel for you hun. Anna is right about your oh, probably thinks keeping things normal is the way to help. We're here for you anytime and feel free to vent.
Big hugs x
 
annaphylactic said:
Oh honey - I obviously don't have the answer ref your OH, but some men are just useless during times of crisis. They think keeping things normal is helpful to us, where as all women usually want is to be allowed to cry, to vent and to take time to deal with things.

He probably feels really out of control - unable to make things better for you and that is a horrible feeling of helplessness.

He shouldn't be questioning you about things - maybe you just need to be honest and just spill everything - how much you are hurting etc and ask him to respect the fact you just need to be sad. It is no reflection on him, it is just something you need to do to cope with the situation.

When my step dad was dying I had loads of friends trying to cheer me up, keep it light, and it drove me mad. Then when my real dad was going through the same thing, I just had enough and ended up snapping at people and they soon shut up. All I wanted was a hug - no greetings cards sentiments rolled off the tongue and no 'it's all going to be ok' crap.

Really feel for you at this time. Try and keep your chin up, and if you can't then have a good old wail. There is no right and wrong way to react when grieving to loss or potential loss of a loved one.

*Hugs*,

A x
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that was a really beautiful post. thank you so much for sharing and for your kindness & wisdom, and i'm sorry to hear about your losses. xx

JoanneM said:
So sorry Colly. Youy know we're here for you to moan at anytime.

As for men, they can be incredibly useless at times (most of the time to be honest ;)). He will be there for you when you really need him though and thats what matters.
Click to expand...

thank you. and oh yes of this i have no doubt, he's just high maintenance sometimes!! expecting me to text him non stop to keep him entertained on my days off, which i don't mind to a point usually, but today, not so much in the mood. especially when every time my phone goes off i think i'm going to be sick, you know? x

slimmer bridezilla said:
just wanted to say thinking of you
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thank you honey x

babystar31 said:
Thinking of u hun. Hope your ok and wish i could send a big hug your way xx
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thank you too, lovely x

Dietkitty said:
I really feel for you hun. Anna is right about your oh, probably thinks keeping things normal is the way to help. We're here for you anytime and feel free to vent.
Big hugs x
Click to expand...

and thank you too! i'm probably just being grouchy about o/h cause he's the closest person to me and they're always the ones you hurt first, so they say. i havent said anything to him, i went out this evening with him and did some retail therapy to see if it'd cheer me up. it didnt, surprisingly. :eek:

i love this place. never come across somewhere where everyone is so supportive of people they don't know and have never met. there's a special warmth here and its really humbling to come on here and see people have gone out of their way to say nice things to me and to try and give some comfort. it's really, really lovely.

still not had *the* call. my mums sat in hospital with my gran with my grandad & aunt, they don't want everyone there and as i said to my mum when she called earlier, i don't think she would want everyone there watching her go either. i'm properly on an emotional rollercoaster tonight, in one sense i want the news asap so i know she is finally free of pain & at peace, but of course i really don't want to hear its happened, so i'm a bit of a mess of crying and being really on edge, and crying some more. just can't get my head round how my day to day life is going to go on without her. even after she got ill i held out hope that things would go back to how they were and she'd get better, i think in my mind i'm still trying to hold onto that hope but i'm coming to terms with the fact it's not going to happen. :cry:
 
This forum is so special. Everyone is so caring and lovely and it's like being part of an exclusive club. I keep coming back here cos I'm just not feeling it on the other one!
 
Thinking of you and you family hun at this very difficult time.
 
My beautiful grandmother passed away at 2 o clock this morning. to say I'm in bits is an understatement. Thanks again to all for lovely comments xxx
 
Sorry to hear that Colly, may she rest in peace x

Sending huds and love your way darling x
 
I know exactly how you feel, Colly. My dear Dad is dying in hospital right now and my brother is also terminally ill.

I am a longterm Atkins maintainer and have let 8lbs creep back on whilst in Glasgow helping Dad. I CANNOT get back into the weight loss routine for long enough to lose the surplus and keep it off.

I am posting on this forum because I once lost 3 of my 10 stones of extra weight on CD. So I decided to give Exante a try.

And what did I find? Unsurprisingly I just cannot go TS. It is not possible. I think the extra carbs are the problem for those low-carbing before starting TFR. I honestly cannot get through even one day without cheating if only with low carb food.

So I applaud everyone here and on other VLCD plans who can 'honk' that 100%.

And I have now gone back to Atkins Induction which, frankly, is a lot easier than TFR! Once I am properly in ketosis I might reintroduce a couple of Exante or CD products but only with great care lol.

Bless you and your family and your dear grandmother. Just by being there you are helping more than you realise.

xx
 
thank you all, you lovely lot. xx

had a really tough day on friday all round. basically had to do a really long late night drive at the end of it and was exhausted. it was pitch black outside and cloudy. only one star was bright enough to shine through. it really touched me and i cried the whole way home.

funerals on wednesday- we're all wearing bright colours. i have a fur coat which she just loved and spoke about a lot (said i looked "cheeky" in it :D) - i reckon if she'd been my size she'd have been off with it! so i'm gonna wear that.

o/h is away next weekend so i'm going to spend some time with my friends i think. have a bit of a blowout and hopefully clear my head a bit.

i will OFFICIALLY be back on board a week tomorrow. i am online a little on my phone and am keeping up to date with all your threads etc, i will post again once this is all over, i am missing being on minis but i'm sure everyone understands how much is going on for me at the mo. xx
 
Have a great time next weekend and I will be thinking of you on Wednesday.

Looking forward to seeing you back on the board.

xx
 
Enjoy the weekend with your friends - at times like this, being around friends and people that care is really important. Will be in in my thoughts on wednesday.
Take care

heidi x
 
Still thinking of you colly, hope your well x
 
:hug99:

xx
 
Oh honey, just seen your news, been a bit useless keeping up with threads. Thinking of you angel.

I'm here if you want to vent...

Hope the funeral is ok on Wednesday. Celebrate all the good times with your grandmother and rock that fur coat as though you were on a catwalk.

Big hugs xx
 
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