The Rest of My Fabulous Life Challenge

[Barb]

Hi Mandy, Jules and Lacey, you are lovely popping in and boosting me with your positive opinions. Much appreciated.

I'm fine, still feeling chipper but suddenly wondering what i'm doing here? I mean, if I'm not actively dieting should I be on this site? I love reading about everyone else and dropping in on diaries and helping if I can but this is a weight loss support forum and although I hope to drop a few lbs, I am not doing anything definate to achieve that. Also this diary feels slightly mad, if I'm not chasing goals etc.. what do I write about? Hmmmm, need to think this over.

 

[Barb]

Well I'm still here! Had a good day yesterday, definately feel less 'worried' about food. Made a lovely beef curry for dinner last night and ate about half, i'd had enough so I stopped. Normally when I have had something very savoury I fancy something sweet after but last night I couldn't be bothered! I just thought if i was desperate I'd have something but I wasn't ,so i didn't. I knew I could, I had permission from myself but my choice was not to. Had 2 glasses of water instead!

 

[Barb]

This is going very well - i feel so relaxed about food and am definately eating less. But, there is no feeling of deprivation because i have told myself i can have whatever I like whenever i like, it's my choice. Funny thing is I keep choosing not to. I guess some days I will be a little piggie but at the moment I just feel 'right'. Weird. Still, you all knew I was a bit weird anyway!

 

[Eclipse]

Its all sounding good Barb, except you being weird that is lol x x x

 

[Barb]

Thanks Cheryl, you sound pretty good yourself. Well done on keeping going, it is such an achievement to be over 3 years at goal(or below)!

 

[Barb]

So 1lb off this week - not bad for a non dieter, head still in a good place so lets see what this week brings!

 

[hopefilly]

Well done hun this is also a support site in my opinion so dont you be going anywhere would miss ya xxx

 

[Barb]

Thanks Mandy, you are a sweetie!

I'm doing OK, it's been a super indulgent weekend but I must admit it's been fun! It went like this - Saturday, London to See Dirty Dancing. Drinking wine/champers all day, crisps/nuts, lunch out, dinner out, more wine..... Fantastic show, an absolute must see. Walked a lot but not enough!
Sunday, supposed to be grim weather, was in fact great. So barbie from 1pm, cocktails all aft and then an Indian take away in the garden at 8pm!

Monday was ok, but it flipping needed to be. Can't see me losing an ounce this week, which is ok cos I'm not dieting, but still don't want to gain. We'll see.

 

[hopefilly]

OMG wot a heavenly weekend you have had and who cares if you havent lost you enjoyed it thats wot its all about hun speak soon xxx

 

[kandy]

Hiya Barb,
Sounds like your doing great !
Mini's definitely isn't just about losing weight its a meeting of minds!
Love to you Ju xxx

 

[Barb]

Love that thought Ju, meeting of minds! Thats it in a nutshell. Thanks for dropping by Mandy, yes it was a fab weekend, and this weekend it's my grand-daughter's 3rd birthday, so more fun to come!

Miraculously lost a lb, not sure how or why but pleased anyway. Enjoying this getting on with my life thing though - my perspective has totally changed, weight is a side issue, if it is an issue at all. I am eating what I want if and when I want it and I don't feel gulity any more. I know a lot of people will identify with the guilt issue. I used to feel guilty when i ate 'naughty' things, which took all pleasure away from what I was eating. Now I am really enjoying what I have, weirdly I am eating less. I have lost a lb a week for 3 weeks now and of course I'm pleased but I'm not ecstatic about it because it actually doesn't matter that much. If I put on next week I will be unbothered, because the scales are now just part of the bathroom, not the primary reason for going in there!

 

[Barb]

Crikey, where did that week go! all good, nothing else to report really.

 

[Barb]

This is weird, without a diet to obsess over I have little to say! (or have, tee hee)
I have had a few indulgent days and find myself 'automatically' thinking i'll cut back a bit. Not the old 'OMG I'm a fat pig I must exist on a weeks worth of lettuce leaves to punish myself' just ' hmm, had a lot of goodies these last few days, fancy a few lighter days to even things up!'
Still feeling ok about myself, expected to see weight steadily increase and it hasn't. I think the truth is I gain and lose the same 2-4lbs and thus 'maintain'.
DH and I were talking about our Alaskan cruise yesterday and the various trips that we could do; lots of them have weight advisory statements, like 'let trip organiser know if you weigh more than 250lbs or 275lbs or even 325lbs. Currently I am well below the 250 and I thought 'why am I worrying (which I have been) so long as I make sure that i keep this non obsessing attitude I am going to be fine, not thin but fine!'
So all good in Barb's head at the mo! Long may it last.

 

[Barb]

Right a weeks past and I am now getting into my 'no, I really should lose weight' phase. If I could keep thinking the same thing for more than 3 weeks it would be great!

I think it is the cruise thats getting to me though; that and, believe it or not, I miss having a 'plan'. A plan to do nothing just isn't the same.
So, we are going away for a few days and when we get back it will be exactly 12 weeks till our cruise. I think I am going to re-vamp my 'food and feelings diary'; go for writing everything down, aim at the healthy stuff most of the time and hope to shift a few lbs in a non obsessive way!
Thing is, now that I don't feel so 'anti me' I don't feel like my life enjoyment depends on being thinner. I just think I would feel a bit happier a bit lighter. So no desperate pressure. I would love to lose a stone before the cruise. That would be great, but I'm not going to make any amazing predictions, any fanfares of what size I'll be; I just want to quietly shift a few lbs, if I can. But whatever happens, i won't be beating myself up about it. I am about a lot more than what I weigh and I am not going back to being a total obsessive about food/weight.

 

[Gen]

Hey Barb.... I love reading your diary these days cos I can totally relate to it... something clicked with me in January and your 'anti me' comment is really true... tis all about loving urself and weight in the grand scheme of things isn't really a big issue!!

Since January I have lost 2 stone without too much effort... I have also decided I want to step it up a gear before my hols... I am finding the WW points is very agreeable... I am not obsessive about them but am following them to some degree... and exercising more and I'm finding it is working and I feel fitter from the exercise.

Well done you anyways is what I really wanted to say... you are doing brill

Gen x

 

[Barb]

Thanks Gen - glad you are feeling that more positive feeling too. I thought about what I would really like - and it is to gently lose some weight, without it taking over my life and enjoy myself at the same time without feeling mega deprived. It's do-able, you just have to give yourself permission really. I am happier now than I have been for ages, but I would be even happier if I could drop a stone before the cruise( not least because I will probably gain a stone whilst on the cruise!)- hence I am going to tweak things a bit.

So, we'll see, even half a stone would be better than nothing. The old Barb would have said 3 stone is the only thing that would make a real difference so why bother! i'm learning!

 

[Barb]

Back from my wild weekend in France; wall to wall champagne and yummy food. 7lbs ON!!!

Ok, I want to be calm, but I don't flippin' feel it. I have to do something. I think the food diary is what really works for me, so that is what i must do. I can't turn a blind eye to it, that 7lbs could be 14 inside of another week and then I am in real trouble.

So, food diary it is. I have to try, I can feel clothes getting tighter and self esteem disappearing.

 

[Barb]

Good day yesterday. Ate sensibly and well, no rubbish at all. Bit of wine in the evening but I am happy with that, if I make this too tight a regime I won't stick to it. I know that.
Went to waitrose and bought lots of lovely fruit and veg so feel set for the new healthy me.

It really is about health. I don't feel I look too bad; I just feel blobby and unhealthy.

 

[Barb]

Still going great. The only rule I've broken is the weekly weigh. Can't stay away from those blinking scales. Have lost 3lbs, which is great but am annoyed with myself that I can't wait one week for a result!
Never mind, the main thing is my head is in the right place and I know that 12 weeks on I will be very glad I have cracked on with this.
Still feel happy in myself and about myself, just want to feel even better.
Bought 'the amazing adventures of Dietgirl' yesterday. Fantastic book, really inspiring.

 

[Barb]

Weekend danger time for me but still doing well. Had a very stressful friday and realised just what an effect that has on my eating and drinking. Just wanted to lose myself in high cal snacks and booze. Which I did. Then I stopped. Bit of a breakthrough I think.