PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Ah I just want to share my happiness.
A bit of background. I did LL at the start of the year and lost almost 2 stone, I got to 14st ish which is the lightest I've been. Once finished I went up to almost 15st. Since then I've been flitting around diets and have lost some, back to around 14st7 ish, maybe less, but I still hadn't felt comfortable about going below 14st..
The other day something fell into place and I decided to let the little OCD/skinny person out to control my eating. Also decided to ban myself from the scales to stop myself from freaking out about going any lighter than my lightest - it sounds absurd but that's what had been worrying me. My identity as a person was that I was big - hard to explain but I just felt that it was part of who I am, to be big.
Since letting my skinny person out it's been going absolutely smoothly.. I'm calorie counting so I allow myself a 20g bar of chocolate every day and am within my allowance. Whilst I was eating it today I caught myself thinking "Hmm. It's a little bar of chocolate.. But then I'm a little person, or soon will be!".
It's hard to explain why this feels such a breakthrough, but suddenly my head has changed from thinking about myself not as a big person who doesn't want to lose any more, but as a little person with a stone or 2 to lose?! It feels like a revelation!
Anyway I know it's a little thing but I just thought I'd share
A bit of background. I did LL at the start of the year and lost almost 2 stone, I got to 14st ish which is the lightest I've been. Once finished I went up to almost 15st. Since then I've been flitting around diets and have lost some, back to around 14st7 ish, maybe less, but I still hadn't felt comfortable about going below 14st..
The other day something fell into place and I decided to let the little OCD/skinny person out to control my eating. Also decided to ban myself from the scales to stop myself from freaking out about going any lighter than my lightest - it sounds absurd but that's what had been worrying me. My identity as a person was that I was big - hard to explain but I just felt that it was part of who I am, to be big.
Since letting my skinny person out it's been going absolutely smoothly.. I'm calorie counting so I allow myself a 20g bar of chocolate every day and am within my allowance. Whilst I was eating it today I caught myself thinking "Hmm. It's a little bar of chocolate.. But then I'm a little person, or soon will be!".
It's hard to explain why this feels such a breakthrough, but suddenly my head has changed from thinking about myself not as a big person who doesn't want to lose any more, but as a little person with a stone or 2 to lose?! It feels like a revelation!
Anyway I know it's a little thing but I just thought I'd share