thinking of going back on packs...

Discussion in 'LL Maintenance' started by daisydoll, 2 November 2009.

  1. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    i feel as if ive lost the way a bit these last few weeks - i haven't been to class in over a fortnight and know i have put on weight.
    i have half heartedly tried to lose a bit but its not happening.

    i never got down to the 8.4 i wanted to as i started RTM 'early' and so in the back of my mind i stil want to get there.

    i was thinking of waiting til after xmas, but by then i might have put on even more, so it seems a bit daft to wait.

    i should nip this in the bud now - i can't afford to buy new clothes either!

    it should hopefully only take 4 weeks - i'm about 9.4 now i reckon

    i think i will go along and have a chat with my LLC tonight

    part of me feels a failure as i did so well and now the weights creeping back on - even tho i am being really active - 3 classes and 2x runs a week, i can't do more!

    what do you think.....?

    daisy x
  2. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

    Daisy, I would defintely talk to your LLC and nip it in the bud.
    I never quite got to goal last time as I thought I would lose a bit more on RTM, but never did. Once the weight started creeping back on I though 'Oh, it is only a few pounds I am still only 10 st something', then it just gradually just went up and up.
    Don't let it slide, you have worked too hard to get where you are.
    You could always take a step back, do LLL rather than full abstinence.
    Just my opinion though, based on my experience. I defintely intend to keep a better check on myself this time round.
  3. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    this is what i'm worried about .... its only a few pounds but i'm convincing myself already that 9.7 is ok for me as this time last year 9 stone anything would have been fab - and then it will be - oh well i'm still in the 10s etc etc

    another 4 lbs and i will be back in the overweight catagory!

    thing is tho i don't want to be doing this every few months - i want to have learnt about my eating and got it sorted - which i obviously haven't!

    daisy x
  4. Sean(JSF)

    Sean(JSF) Making it all add up

    Hmm difficult position to be in - I'm in exactly the same place myself.

    Don't have an answer for you I'm afraid, personally I want to stick at (semi) healthy eating for a month or so & see if I can shift a few lbs as don't want to run back to LL every time I have a couple of 'bad' weeks, it feels too 'easy' in some ways.

    Good luck whatever you decide Daisy :)
  5. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    hi sean
    it does feel like the 'easy' way out - although i'm sure it will be anything but easy!
    one bit of me really wants the security blanket of the packs again - but i'm also worried in case its not so easy this time.

    i have been trying the healthy eating but its not doing it for me as i'm making so many wrong choices deliberately.

    im thinking if i get to where i properly want to be i won't mess it up this time ....but am i just kidding myself?

    im still in my size 8s - just, but i feel fat and blobby and heading into a cycle of 'depression' concerning food. i don't want it to continue and so see going back on packs as taking control ...but again am i just kidding myself?!

    im at the edge - i still look ok - just, but i know that something needs to be done before its too late!!!!

    daisy x
  6. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

    I think you need to think about what is your true ideal weight bracket rather than an exact figure.
    It is hard when you have been overweight for so long, to know yourself.
    It will take some time to settle into the new you.
    Your LLC will be sure to have some good advice and ideas on how to deal with it.
    I do beleive that going back to full abstinance is not a good idea and your LLC probably wouldn't want you to do that either, being just a size 8.

    You also need to work through why you are deliberatly sabottaging yourself. I know I have been doing this the last month or so, not entirely sure why, but there will be something behind it. Your LLC will help you through it.

    Don't beat yourself up about it, you are doing so well.
  7. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    i did have a weight 'box' - the top of which was suppposed to be 8.13.

    when i started LL i never ever imagined i would be 8 stone anything.or even 9 stone anything.

    its difficult to know what is right - especially as you get so many different comments from people around. i think i was swayed into stopping partly by people making comments about me looking too thin.

    i think i probably was looking too thin- but only because it was so sudden, a bit of a shock for them and me. i think now they and i are used to it, it wasn't too thin, and actually i probably still could have lost another half stone. My BMI was 22.9, which isn't too thin and what i actually did was stop before the real right time for me.

    size 8 sounds small - but i'm only 5ft 1" - and actually i'm more a size 10 now and my bmi is heading towards 25

    because i have lose skin, i still feel fat. i have just spent the weekend at centre parcs (which was great) but a lot of the time i was in a swimming cossie which i hated and felt nearly as self-concious as i did when i was 4 stone bigger.

    i have no idea why i'm sabotaging myself - really.

    oh why is it so hard?!

    daisy x
  8. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    sean - whats going on with you?
    daisy x
  9. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Well-Known Member

    Oh my god!!! Daisy I could have written all of your thread!!! I've been staying away a bit on purpose I think, as I had slowly put on weight from June, when I was off sick for seven weeks with PND - I'm not sure if it was anything to do with LL, but I was a little more interested in just looking after myself at the time, and drank a bottle of wine when I wanted, which turned into about three bottles a week!! This then leads me to nibble and want chocolate, etc. I even started eating bread with butter on as I was making my tea!!! I only ever did this in my fattest days before!!

    I am no longer scared of being hungry and can eat far smaller portions, have stayed away from carbs in the main, although lunch in work had got back to a sandwich, packet of french fries and possibly a small bar of chocolate!! Not good I know. However, I got weighed this morning and am heading for 11st (I was 10st 12lb this morning, and had got down to 9 1/2 stone, which might be too light, for me, but again, I was told so often by EVERYONE that this was too low for me, that I have told myself that 10 stone, my original target will be healthier for me - not sure that this is true though!), so I am stopping here and now, and have just had a very controlled and successful day with low carb intake.

    I spent last night searching for a meal replacement diet that I could afford to do, as LL is too expensive for me at the moment with Xmas coming. I always said that I didn't want to go back to LL on packs, as I wanted to learn to eat sensibly and I still mean that, but the safety and ease of LL on the packs is very tempting. I refuse to do any sort of diet for a few weeks and see how I go and I am truly determined to just eat sensibly and put into practice my new more sensible eating and leave the treats alone until I get back down. I am glad that I've done this in one way, as I know that an occasional treat absolutely must remain just that if I want to carry on feeling so good about myself and wearing the clothes that I want. I, like you, can't afford to replace my wardrobe again, and I was in Sainsburys before looking at buying a pair of trousers one size up so that I would be comfortable in work, as my size 10's are a little snug, even though I can do them up. I'm going to wear those snug trousers, and keep reminding myself why I need to get real again!! Here goes one uncomfortable week....
  10. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    hi poppy
    good to hear from you
    i really have mixed feelings about going back on packs - as it does seem a cop out somehow and a disappointment as i really was so determined i would have learnt from LL and everything would be ok from then on....

    i don't want it to become a habit - and like you have def made some positive changes

    maybe cos it is all so fast - even with RTM- the info hasn't had time to sink in completely and this might just give me some breathing space to re-think things

    good on you for taking control of things - don't buy the bigger size - you don't need it, you can get back!!!

    keep posting on here to keep me company and we'll both be back where we want to be in a matter of weeks

    daisy x
  11. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Well-Known Member

    I certainly will do Daisy. I kept checking on in here occasionally, and you were doing so well, which I was so pleased for you, and not to say that I'm happy in any way that you are going through the same thing right now, but doesn't it just underline how easy it is to slip back?!! I will definitely prove people wrong - you know the ones who constantly said that you'll put it all back on and more, and I've got to not listen to people telling me what I should weigh - I mean, just what has it got to do with anyone else, as I'd never comment on what someone weighed, it's such a personal thing!! I've started a new job, and no one there thought that I was too skinny funnily enough, as they had never known me bigger, so I just looked normal! I don't know if anyone has noticed that I've put on some, as no one has said anything, apart from my mum did say that my dad thought that I looked better now.

    I am going to stay prepared and take lunches to work and keep my store of ratatouille in the fridge, which I adore and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

    I did start running on my treadmill and really started to enjoy it, but then this slipped by the wayside again, and I'm determined to sort it out. Trying on some clothes in Sainsburys tonight, I actually felt really big looking in the mirror, and to be honest I know that this isn't true, as I'd only be a size 12 max, which I would have been delighted with this time last year, but I realised that I have got this small frame under what was the fat!! I'm going to get back there again, and I'm very relieved as I was telling myself that I was out of control again - so NOT true as it's all in my control and I don't need to spend loads of money this time, it will just take self-discipline, which we've proved that we have in bucket loads, right?!

    I'm going back to my mantra "it's only food" and "tomorrow is another day"!

    Good luck Daisy and let me know how you are getting on. It definitely helps to write things down and focus the mind too I think, as it's really helped me stay away from the kitchen this evening!
  12. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    oh yes
    'its only food' was my mantra too - pinched from huseyin (wonder how he is getting on?)

    i will be repeating it x100 daily again from now on, lol!

  13. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Well-Known Member

    Is your ticker up to date Daisy? I've just noticed that we have exactly the same BMI!!

    Yes, I wonder how Huseyin is doing? And is Pete still around??
  14. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

    Hey Daisy - and hello Poppy! nice to see you again!! :)

    Daisy, your thread was like deja vu! ;)

    I would say, if it is bothering you, then go back opn packs for a few weeks. I did, and it sorted me out.

    BUT - it also made me realise something....did I REALLLLY need to get to that low end goal.....and did I realllllllly then want to have to work doubly hard to maintain that lower goal???

    And I decided no. I want to be at a weight that is comfortable, I feel good, look good, and is easy to maintain.

    I am still playing around trying to fiond that perfect 'natural' weight for me. I have gone up and down a few pounds here and there.....and probably am about 5 pounds heavier then I want to be....but I am staying fairly stable at the weight I am at, so I wonder - is this the weight I SHOULD be??

    You need to do what is right for you. If that is the packs, then go for it.

  15. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    thanks BL

    Poppy yes my ticker is up to date - getting v near the bmi25!

    Pete is still about from time to time - huseyin diasppeared ages ago

    just had a glass of water - going to have to get back into that habit again! and deciding which shake to do for breakfast

    daisy x
  16. Anders

    Anders Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar position too - never got down to the weight I wanted (13 st 7) and am currently 14 st 7, although I don't look fat - people look at me askance when I say I still have weight to lose - although my BMI is 28. I wanted the top of my box to be 14 st. I'm very reluctant to go back on food packs though - I have started to do a lot more exercise - running 3 miles every other day plus martial arts classes. For me food packs and exercise don't mix very well, so I don't want to go back on them

    I have started doing detailed food logging to keep track of what I'm eating on and this is helping - I managed to shed 1.5 lbs last week - a very small loss in LL terms, but my weight had started to creep up again - possibly increased muscle mass perhaps but I was getting worried.

    I never want to touch a food pack again so I'm going to increase my exercise levels as much as I can so that I don't feel I'm having to starve myself to stay thin...
  17. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    i have upped my excercise and am (mostly) enjoying it.
    i do and aerobics class, a triple challenge class, pilates and run twice a week as well as trying to get in either a walk or bike ride at the weekends.
    realistically i can't do anymore and i feel already that i am maybe setting myself up for a fall if i can't keep i all up.

    i don't want to 'have' to do the classes to keep the weight off - i want to 'want' to do the classes cos they are fun and they keep me fit, i don't want to have to count every blinking calorie or risk putting on weight either....

    i do know where i have been going wrong - and hopefully a short stint on packs will give me the time to escape the food spiral and re focus on the issues

    im hoping to keep up the excercise over the next few weeks - maybe just less intensely

    daisy x
  18. Sean(JSF)

    Sean(JSF) Making it all add up

    Hi Daisy, PS & Anders

    Well as I said before it's sorely tempting to go back on packs but my heart just isn't in it. I'm currently 12st 12lb which I should be delighted at as goat was 14st, but realistically it's 13lb more than my lightest and I feel "big".

    Like PS wine is my BIG downfall and whilst I'm not drinking beer (much), I also give in to the munchies in the evening, especially at weekends. I think the dark nights don't help as there's a temptation to eat 'comfort food' which is high carb/fat. Even when I have a good day & healthy meals I'm also sometimes grabbing a slice of bread in the evening - why?

    Don't get me wrong, I'm fully enjoying taking a full part in 'life' and socialising, and don't feel in the slightest bit guilty, it's just that I seem to be struggling to keep weight below 13st and wonder if I'm being realistic. BUT like you all the last thing I want to do is set a higher 'upper limit' as I know this is a slippery slope......

    Interestingly Anders, I've logged exercise and food pretty much daily since stopping RTM in June, and have just recently let go to see if I can't force myself to be less food focussed, just feel I need to try something different.

    Don't want to go on packs again as I feel it's a cop-out, but concerned about Christmas period. Really need more exercise and walking is still great but difficult in the dark & rain. In some ways it's good to know it's not just me who feels this way, and I guess it's just another part of the process - one that no one seemed to talk about.

    Thanks for starting the thread Daisy, and good luck to us all :)
  19. Anders

    Anders Well-Known Member

    Daisy said:
    i don't want to have to count every blinking calorie or risk putting on weight either....

    Neither do I :sigh:. I've only recently gone onto maintenance and didn't calorie count and the weight started creeping on. It doesn't seem fair that I have to become a marathon runner just to keep my weight under control (spot the rebellious child!) Mind you I am enjoying the running. I just wish I could maintain weight with out having to keep tight control of my eating!:(
  20. daisydoll

    daisydoll Well-Known Member

    well i did my aerobic/step/body con class this evening - didn't have as much energy as usual, but then with only 375 cals its not too surprising i suppose.

    day 1 nearly over - i'm hungry - roll on ketosis!

    daisy x

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