This is me! (Management diary)

Well... Still struggling but after a spectacularly awful night last night have asked for help. Been open with hubby about all my stresses and have asked to work from home a couple of days this week so I don't have to do the mammoth (one and a half to two hours each way) drive to work and back. Told my boss I'm a bit stressed, which was a scary thing to do, but I think necessary.

Am trying to get in to see my LLC today as I've not been to group for ages - partly because of too much in but then this weekend because hubby told me he doesn't like me being out for so much of the weekend when the girls don't see me much as it is. I'm going to see if there's a group at a different time I can join instead.
 
it sounds like you are getting it from all sides at the moment. Well done for taking charge and making some changes to help. Working from home is a great idea (it is what i do too - but i am self employed). it is much more relaxing and strangely you get more done...go figure!

With regards to your meetings - they really need to be a priority. Can you attend one during the week instead? or do a pop-in maybe.

maintaining your weight is not easy and it will be a constant struggle - but you seem to have a good awareness of what you are doing. you aren't hiding it away or anything. This is good.

I came across a website recently which might help you in your struggle with sugar. Take a look at Peter Attia. he is a colleague of Gary Taubes and is a doctor. he is brilliant and explains the reasons why sugar is pretty much evil. Give it a read. it is really helping me to gain some knowledge in this area. it might provide some motivation too.
 
Hi Spangly, did you manage to speak to your LLC? Its really tricky this management lark, isnt it? I've been completely rubbish. Need to sort my head out. I've got a lovely muffin top at the moment xx
 
Debbie, me too! :-( do you want to tackle it together?

I spoke to my LLC and she was brilliant. She's suggested she ask the rest of 'my' group if they'd mind meeting earlier on a Saturday so it doesn't take up the whole morning. That would be fab as I really like the group. If not, there's a Wednesday evening group I can join instead.

Stepped on scales yesterday and this morning and it's not good. Although the weird thing is I'm so in tune with my weight these days I was almost spot on with my guess!

Nzdmegs, I'll take a look at Peter Attia. (that sounds wrong lol!) Thanks for the suggestion.
 
Love Peter Attia's website and approach - thanks for the recommendation. Am attempting to pull myself together. Thing is, you might reach goal, but life goes on, doesn't it? The trickiest thing about maintaining is not going back to tried and tested (and failed!!) "coping" strategies. Am such a numpty. But I WILL get there!! (again)
 
Been focusing on positives: finally found a swimming pool and gym local to my office that I should be able to go to at lunchtimes. (I have the whole "I don't have time" thing going on with exercise, and I need to fit it in and make it a priority.) I know exercise will help my mood, relieve stress, and stabilise my blood sugar, and help with cravings, and sleep... so from next week (once I've had my ear sorted out tomorrow) I'm going to plan to start doing one thing (yoga or swimming) a week - achievable goals!

(Have had an ear infection and now deaf in one ear with VERY LOUD tinnitus. I've been doing drops for the past week so I can have it irrigated tomorrow. Yuk. Had it done before and it's not fun - but will be such a relief as the past two weeks it's been really annoying!)
 
I had that a while back and ended up with balance and nausea problems too. it took months for my hearing to get back to 100%. My MIL now has permanent tinnitus due to her ear infection. I hope yours sorts itself out. perhaps put off the swimming until it is fixed.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself with regards the exercise. Just getting out for a walk every lunch time will boost your mood and improve your health. Tiny steps soon become big ones.
 
I can hear again!!! Yay!!!

Only prob is the tinnitus is still there. Not as loud as before, but noticeable in a quiet room.

Am in a strange place, emotionally and foodwise at the moment. Like I used the India trip and jetlag afterwards as an excuse to go a bit mad with alcohol and carbs. Fun at the time but ugh, my body feels unfamiliar.

So I'm angry with myself... Which triggers an urge to drink wine/eat sugary things. And so it goes.

I've told myself I'm doing three weeks of packs though. I wanted to start on Sunday but have a meeting with an author that's been planned over lunch on Monday. So I'm going to start on Tuesday.

I manage my weight fine if it's just a fluctuation of a few pounds. This is different, and scary, because all my old fears and behaviours are still lurking.

Thing is (trying to put Adult hat on!) my BMI is 25.1. So although not great, and technically overweight, this isn't actually the 'total disaster' my brain keeps asserting that it is. It's a learning curve. Life is really, isn't it?
 
Last edited:
I've set up a thread in the 'returners' bit so come on over!

Feeling v weird today. P is about three weeks late and am currently having MEGA cramps, which may explain some of the latest incredible overnight weight gain. (Weighed myself this morning and I've (apparently) gained 11 lb in the past week!!!!! I really don't understand my body sometimes. It has to be water retention, right?) I simply cannot believe how quickly I can gain weight. Well, I do believe it, because the evidence is in my too-tight clothes and on the scales, but it's astonishing really.

Anyway -hopefully today is the worst it will get and after a few days of packs I'll be heading in the right direction.
 
Last edited:
Yep, definitely at least some water retention. I was a very scary 175lb yesterday morning. Just weighed myself and I've lost 8 lb overnight!!! Now 167. I've only done one day of packs. Blimey! So 21lb, or 1 and a half stones, to lose. Seems a bit more doable.

just feel such a sense of relief to be getting back in control again. Felt great this morning, despite P having started.
 
Day two done and dusted. Now on day three and feeling MUCH more positive. Once I've got a week under my belt things are going to start moving in the right direction, both weight- and emotion-wise I think. My kettlebell should be arriving in the next few days. I'm really excited to try it out - looks like fun! I love the fact it's only half an hour three times a week. Sounds too good to be true really - but I'm optimistic it's an exercise I can fit into my week. I'm going to find the local pool/gym at lunchtime today and find out about their yoga classes as well. I LOVE yoga (but am v rubbish at it!) - so being able to go once a week at a time that doesn't affect the rest of the family (I had to stop going on Saturday mornings as my hubby found it too disruptive) will be brilliant.

Sun is out. I slept well (and overslept - oops), and am on track. Hurrah!
 
Like the new photo! I need to update mine too once I actually get around to taking some! Glad to hear you are enjoying life at the moment. Funny how life seems to be nice and calm once P starts...I hate that week leading up to it. it is like a dark cloud descends. men don't know how lucky they are!
 
Thanks! It's from my recent India trip. You need to put a new one on now you're at goal! Day three... Almost done. Mind games starting this evening ... Am distracting myself and not giving in! Will be having another early night I think.
 
Day four almost done. Harder tonight, being Friday. The crooked thoughts of 'it's the weekend, so I deserve xyz', but I ignored them and stayed on track. Really determined. Don't want to be doing this AGAIN in a few months' time.
 
Ah, self-pity: my self-indulgence and downfall. Just been woken inadvertently by my husband going to the bathroom to do a catheter and found myself thinking about my late sister.

Somehow my inner child thinks I deserve a medal for keeping going despite missing my sister so much.

Get over yourself! There aren't any medals. Life isn't like that. And it's not as if you're the only one with a sadness in their life. Dig deep enough and everyone has something to feel sad about. And for goodness sake, think of some of the things you saw in India. The beauty right next to despair. The people who truly have nothing, but who keep going regardless.

You have so much. So much. And yet still you think 'it's not fair! I want her back!' and Daddy too.

Unresolved grief... Holding you back... How many people have been bereaved? Countless... It's part of life. Death is part of life. Your adult mind knows and understands this. Somehow you need to comfort your inner child, soothe her so she stops being so angry all the time.
 
Not a good place to be in Spangly.
Would it be worth going to see a grief counsellor? Grief takes time to process however, unresolved grief is a different kettle of fish.

Far easier to medicate with food and alcohol than sit with the uncomfortable feelings.

Keep strong x
 
Ah I know... Tried to get some counselling a few years back but it didn't work out. Thing is, it comes and goes... But yes, deep down the bereavements still colour everything I do. I have a sense of not wanting to waste my life, so rush rush rush and set myself impossibly high goals and then beat myself up if I 'fail' to reach them... I possibly would have been like that anyway, given my upbringing, but having someone so close die young and unexpectedly does make me feel I have a duty to achieve what I can as I'm so lucky to be alive...
 
Guess the ketosis fairy has come visiting: I am so thirsty and so cold!! Yayyy! First weigh in tomorrow ... Looking to get to seven pounds under my original goal, to allow for glycogen/water when I reintroduce carbs... Actually, going by the way my body makes glycogen, I'd be better off getting a couple of stone under my goal! ;-)(joke!!)
 
Just did my first week's weigh in: FIFTEEN POUNDS!!!!!

So who's got insulin resistance/metabolic syndrome then? And who had major PMT last week as well? How much water is it possible for my body to store?! Incredible. I've obviously turned into a camel.

So so happy. And really pleased I stuck with it. Onwards and downwards!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

F
Getting fit for 40! My diary (feel free to join me)
Replies
13
Views
2K
AliGal
AliGal
S
Come say hello to me! ✨️
Replies
3
Views
2K
Torn_Tranquility
Torn_Tranquility
MrsTea
I can do this!
2 3
Replies
42
Views
3K
Visualizing
Visualizing
CarnivoreTalk
Hello from Northeast Ohio
Replies
9
Views
2K
AliGal
AliGal
goose
Goose's final road to goal
Replies
18
Views
3K
goose
goose
Back
Top