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Time to stop lurking!

Thought it was about time I jumped in and said Hello to you all. Have been spending quite a bit of time here listening to your experiences since I took the plunge and started Xenical.
I ordered my pills online as felt that would not be supported in my wish to try them given my starting BMI was 28.3 and not over the recommended 30. My weight was going up and up and as I had decided I needed to make a radical change that I might as well do it now and not wait till I was even heavier!!!
I train and ride dressage horses for a living and spending your time in tight breeches does nothing for your self esteem when you feel much larger than all your peers.
So anyway, what I did was start on the pills and diet a couple of days before I weighed myself initially. Mainly because I was terrified of what they would show and also so I didn't get that initial massive drop of weight at a level that was not going to be maintained. I'm on my third week now - lost 3lbs my first week and 6lbs on my second week so am very happy. My aim is to try and keep to a 3lbs loss each week.
I have a very much 'all or nothing' type personality and have been a binge eater for as long as I remember. Quite capable of buying a weeks worth of shopping and eating the whole lot in 24hours. I would happily eat until in acute pain.
So anyway, what I am currently doing is big bowl of porridge (made with water and salt) for breakfast and lunch. Dinner is a weight watchers meal plus around 100 calories worth of veg and then a couple of oranges in the evening. Sounds boring but I am finding it ok and the porridge is very filling. Once I feel more in control I know I need to start to add more variety and choice in my diet but one step at a time. I drink A LOT of tea all day (around 10 cups min) so am probably getting a scary amount of cals from milk. Have switched to skimmed and am now going to try to cut that down and get more water (yuck) into my body. No doubt that will be easier as the weather warms up!
Not specifically exercising yet though I am very active with all the yard work and riding. Its another area I need to address.
Anyway, just wanted to say hello and well done to you all :D
Now need to go and work out how to update the ticker thingy!
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;-) Yes am pleased with loss however suspect won't be a dramatic loss this week (totm looming) will be happy with even a lb off. But I figure I have a week in hand so to speak so will just keep at it. Think you are doing amazingly well!
Had no side effects at all so far but then not surprising given so little fat in my diet. First few days was constipated for first time ever in my life! Guess need to up the fibre in my diet as lucky to go a more than a couple of times a week now - can't be healthy!
Little tip to share.
Ok so this might not be the healthiest tip but it does work. Ever noticed that celebs on diets are often pictured clutching a can of diet red bull or similar? No calories/fat but speeds your metabolism up. Strongly advise limiting use to before lunch or sleep can be difficult. I find I struggle with lack of energy/physical strength when dieting, a can of 'rocket fuel' gets me moving!
a few of us girls suffered with constipation i think it could be the bodies way of getting used to the pills!! I have totm too, but i take water pills in few days before and first few days during, to fight the water that i can sometimes hold!! I wouldnt dare drink the red bull or anything, as i suffer with anxiety and i always find they get my heart racing because of this. But i am sure if your healthy otherwise they would be ok in small doses!!
Hiya Phanta...

I see you like tea.....a tip for you....change your normal tea for green tea it aids in weightless if you drink 3-5 cups a day
Hope your coping well and I wish you luck on your journey to a new you :):)
Just wanted to come on and say hi Phanta.!! ill come on maybe tomo and talk to you properly.and read through you posts..#

But Hi and Welcome.!!!
Hi again Phanta. reading though what you said..can i be really honest..?? how can you feel so large at 10 stone.??
And also you said you could buy a weeks shop and eat it within 24 hours. have you seen anyone about this as it could come over as an eating disorder.??
im sure your doc would not of given you the pills im not sure to e honest if you really need them..but if they help with making you feel better within yourself then why not.But just try to eat healthier foods.
Hi again Phanta. reading though what you said..can i be really honest..?? how can you feel so large at 10 stone.??
And also you said you could buy a weeks shop and eat it within 24 hours. have you seen anyone about this as it could come over as an eating disorder.??
im sure your doc would not of given you the pills im not sure to e honest if you really need them..but if they help with making you feel better within yourself then why not.But just try to eat healthier foods.
I totally agree
Hello again, and I did expect to get some feedback along the above lines. Whilst not very overweight, before starting this diet I was very close to being clinically obese (bmi over 30). Totally take on board the eating disorder comments and will freely put my hands up and say it's something I have given a lot of thought to. Have even spoken to doctors about it but they have non-sensed the idea. To me it's basically bulimia without the making yourself sick :-( Despite the doctors considering me just to be a very healthy eater I have done my own research and it seems to be a valid and accepted condition - binge eating in itself. I have no issues of low self esteem and my primary focus for loosing weight is to be a better rider and feel healthier in my own body. My problem is with control, if I am not dieting I am eating far too much and far too much of the wrong foods. I am using xenical for it's policeman effect, to gain control of my eating habits whilst recognising what my issues with food are. The whole concept of 'control' is concerning given that is fundamental within eating disorders but lets face it, the reason anyone gets overweight (medical conditions aside) is an inability to control their appetite and eating for the pleasure of the eating not eating to live.
My hopes with using the xenical is firstly to gain control of what has been pretty much a couple of years worth of binging most evenings and to use it to give me the strength to re asses my eating habits moving forward to a lifestyle change that will maintain a healthy body. I have spoken to colleges and family about what I am doing and why and they have given my support and I can assure you would be the first to kick me into touch if they thought I was over doing the weight loss. Besides, I REALLY LOVE my food. Today has been the pits, all I can think about was a mound of pancakes drenched in maple syrup - yum yum! I am already moving to what I consider phase two of my diet which is far less restrictive than my initial gaining control fortnight. I am pretty much giving myself a free rein to eat what I want as long as I have three main meals and obey the fat rules. Also making sure all my snacks are healthy. I'm in this for the long run so don't mind if the loss is slow provided it leads to a healthier attitude to food in general. As part of my support team (with the competitive riding) I also regularly see a nutritionist and fitness consultant and whilst I have not told them I am on xenical (as I feel naughty for buying it online) they do see my honest food journal and understand where I am coming from. My biggest motivation is to be the best at my sport I can be and that does preclude becoming too skinny and therefore to weak to be effective. I hope this explanation goes some way to reassure those who have posted concerns. Please do feel free to comment further on the matter though, I am a very open person and don't mind at all. Anyway, hope you all had a good day and stayed strong - personally think I am going to explode as have stuffed away so much fruit in annoyance at not getting to indulge my pancake fetish!
Final thought to the comment 'why not just try to eat healthier foods'....if it was that simple and easy, none of us would have an issue. I think control and will power is the key for most people and this pill is not in itself going to work magic but it does help you think about what you are putting in your body.
i think when i went to the docs and asked for some help (xen) it opened my eyes into how much fat is in foods..Xenical didnt work for me..it doesnt work for everyone.(i wish it had, id be at my target by now.) so i still watch my fat intake and workout every day.
thankyou for being frank and honest.its intresting to read what you put..also reading your post..your not stupid you know to eat healthy .you get exesise at work..its just the eating disorder thing you need to work on..but at least your aware of it.
i wish you luck on your journey.
Thanks Autumnbabe and I'm glad you raised the issue. Quite frankly I was disgusted at the lack of support available for eating disorders that are not properly classified. I think if people who where overweight were understood to have a problem and given proper help it would be a start. All too easy just to say we are just greedy....which I am but I am also aware it does not make me happy other than 'in the moment'. Having done so much research, I understand why I overeat etc etc but at the end of the day it still comes down to taking control. It IS an addiction. When I am very old though, I plan to live on pancakes, doughnuts, chocolate, crisps and bacon butties with mounds of white bread and butter and to hell with it all :-D
Hiya Phanta, if you go into all diets on the toolbar then scroll to xenical I have put some recipes up....including pancake ones.....low fat and calories :)
go onto How healthy works | alli there are recipes there also....

Make sure you drink plenty of water and make sure you have rice cakes, snack a jacks handy incase you get munchy !

This is a lifestyle change , why not look at how you shop....don't go to supermarkets but use greengrocers and butchers then most temptation is out the way....
Good luck :)
Ha ha! Already spotted and cut and paste. In my typical 'bad eater' way, I first caught myself working out if I ate the whole batch ie 10, then what else could I have that day - naughty! I've noticed you post a lot of good meal ideas which I have been noting down. Porridge for two weeks is more than enough for life! Learning how to eat with variety and health in mind is going to be key for me. A big issue has been after working my butt off all day outside, the minute I walk in the door I NEED immediate food. (piles of ham sandwiches have been a staple) I need to be committed and organised so I don't get to that point of desperation. Need to hear about your horses sometime too ;-)
Sleep now Zzzzzz
Phantom you should get the alli diet plan book and a slow cooker then you have good recipes that you can slow cook and when you get indoors it just needs dishing up !!

I run by routine I have to lol 3 horses , 3 dogs and 7 chickens.....
A routine is a must when losing weight ....nite speak soon :)
i think sometime people get comfortable in there lifestyle thats why they put weight on..i think this and having children and not working out...this was me... then i met the man of my dreams and its my goal now to keep as fit and pretty and beautiful i can. not just for him but for me so i always look good for him. as it makes me feel better.
like boo says its a life style change.
We do get comfortable Autumn I agree on that...it was when my Daughter said " you don't need to look good and worry what you look like as you have your man" that really kicked me into gear....

Well done Autumn for realising your need to change...it gives you such a positive outlook and its great to actually go and walking and not have to keep stopping cos your out of puff :):)

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