Trying to get back in to the right frame of mind

[mags1x]

Well, if it stays down this illness has helped me as I'm now 9st 2!! But it may fluctuate up again you never know! If it stays down though I am down to the last stone! oooooh.

I am feeling a lot better today, managed my first shake since the 'bathroom' incident. I've not had the nerve to have a choc shake, but the raspberry one was ok this morning so maybe I will brave a choc one tomorrow! Its amazing how powerful a bad memory can be as I have been enjoying choc shakes for months, I puke ONE up and now I can't face it! I now see how some have struggled to get over this in the early days when packs have made them sick, I am so lucky it didn't happen to me.

At the moment I am trying to shrink my fav jeans! I only bought them in december as I wanted to look half decent through the festivities with something that fitted and they are just hanging off me. The daft woman on the lighterlife dvd (the fashion guru who dressed everyone up to look like sacks of potatoes, their grandmas or worse) said that if you shove them in a boil wash they shrink a size so I'm giving it a go!... I'll let you know.....

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

oh well, another day gone!

Certainly feeling a lot better, but swallowing still hurts so water intake is still low.

Tomorrow I am having one last day off work, Hannah will be going to the childminder and I'm coming home to sleep! It will be just what I need. Its been so hard looking after both of us! Usually I would have gone back to work tomorrow, but I am just so tired I know I would be wiped out by lunchtime, so I am just taking the extra day. I'm hardly ever off sick but I still feel guilty, I know I need the rest though. I'll be doing no one any favours if I go back tomorrow.

See you all tomorrow!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

Just getting ready and then I'll get Hannah up, feeling almost normal but not quite!

Still can't face a choc shake, but the raspberry ones are going down well....

Still 9st 2 on my scales. So perhaps thats my weight loss for this week and it won't shift more but still I'm happy with that! I'm down to the last stone!!

next target.....a healthy bmi, which will happen in a mere 5 pounds time!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

Well Hannah is at the childminder, I'm having today off to recover and catch up, feeling so much better....with the unfortunate side effect of making me want to eat!

I've ventured into testy waters and I'm having half a choc shake hot hoping it doesn't bite me. It shouldn't I do feel ok now....

So I should be keeping busy, tidying the house up and then have a snooze before picking up Hannah but I can't get motivated, I just want to do nothing lol.

I'm going to challenge myself to blitz the kitchen once I've had my hot choc, and then have a soup for dinner. But I'm not allowed it until the kitchen is clean.

I really haven't done any cleaning for a whole week with being ill, so I need to catch up and thats what I should be doing!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

well, its been a couple of days since I checkd in! I have picked a bit and my weight has stuck at 9 st 2 for a number of day! Tonight is official weigh night, so should lose 2-4 pounds (my scales are never the same as hers) I should be down to the official last stone whatever!

I haven't been this weight for years!

Anwyay need to stop messing about again, I don't want the last stone to become endless, I am sick of this to be honest and want it over with so I can move on to a healthy new me!

Now that I am totally back to normal I should be fine, shirked on the water for the last week with being unwell and then out of the habit, yesterday was visiting my Mum which is a 120 mile round trip, so can't be stopping so didn't drink much then either, but working today and its much easier to stick to routine and regimency then!

Tonight I will be unable to stay for my group as I am on a mercy mission to try and help my friend whos heating has broken down. I'm not guilty of missing meetings so it should be ok. These are friends who sometimes baby sit so I can go, so I'm not going to leave them cold if I can possibly help them.

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

well, at my weigh in on thursday I only showed 2 off, but I suspect I was holding water as I am still 9 st 2 pn my scales (hers usually about 5 over) so I think it should be a bigger loss next week. (I was totm) having said that my scales still said 9 st 2 this morning so I haven't lost yet. Maybe I am taking a while to get back to ketosis again as I did pick. Anyway time will tell! Have been good now for a couple days at least.

Need to get back to it properly, I am fed up and its quite obvious now my daughter eats so much better when she is with people who are eating. My husband will be home in about a week, then (hopefully) home for a month, so she will have him to eat with. I am hoping to be into management by the time he goes again or soon after, so I can at least have one meal a day with her.

I changed my ticker to pounds! looks like more lol. I have kept my ticker the official LL weigh in weight, but I'm pretty sure I am actually down to the last stone as opposed to the 16 pounds it show. Hey who cares.... its going down!

I looked at my log book yesterday and its actually not too bad, I've lost a stone since christmas, which is slower than it should be, but I can't remember in my past sitting in febuary thinking I've lost a stone since christmas! more likely I've put on a stone since christmas lmao! not anymore tho!

Mags
xxx

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

The days are dragging!

My scales seem to have stuck, even though I am sticking to it, and they are showing 9 st 3! oh well.....

I was thinking today, the reason I coped so well with foundation was because I wasn't concentrating that much on weight, only the 100 days. I am thinking if I stop looking at weight, and tell myself I will do this for 4 more weeks and then review.... wonder if I will react better to it. I liked the idea of there being an end in sight with the 100 days, and I'm wondering if I can trick myself back into feeling there is an 'end in sight' which of course there is but it seems as distant as ever.

so..... on thursday I am going to count 28 days on the calendar, and tell myself if I am not happy I am going to management! The thing is if I keep lapsing I will undo the good I have done, if I move into management at least there is a chance I could stay where I am rather than put it all back on. After all I am 'almost' healthy which is better than obese.

Deep down though I wonder if I will feel I failed if I don't get to the properly healthy bit... which actually is only 5 pounds away....who knows.

Anyone want to swap my brain for one that makes sense?

Off to bed before I eat something, but at least its 10pm!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

Days at home are always harder and today is no exception!

I've had a litre and a half of water and having my 2nd pack now.

My scales showed 9st 2 again at least so its coming down again.

Marc should be home at the weekend and I do seem to find it easier when he is around, I won't eat in front of someone who knows I shouldn't even though he wouldn't say anything lol!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

weekend again!

had a great chat with the girls on Thursday night at my class and I'm feeling all motivated again!

Hoping this time next week I will have less than a stone to go!

Hubby due back today but I've not heard from him so may not be till tomorrow. I always find it easier when he is here so looking forward to that!

although it means I will post less as he hoggs the computer lol!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

I'm going to let this thread go now, and start a 3 week challenge on the VLCD forum!

Thanks to all who read and encouraged, it means a lot.

Big hugs
Mags
xxx