WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by skinnyminny, 30 April 2007 Social URL.

  1. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    :mad: :( :cry: :( :mad: :cry: :mad::cry:

    Today I have just eaten & eaten...............I feel soooo bad and guilty that I have undone all of my hard work, it seems I have learned nothing from foundation.

    I am finding the plan soo hard to stick to in development I only want to loose another stone before I move into management and I cannot get a grip of myself.

    Why am I doing this - this is crazy self destructive behaviour and I hate myself for it.

    :badmood: :banghead:
     
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  3. Janey

    Janey Intuitive Eater

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    I've never done Lighter Life so I can't help you with your questions, but just wanted to give you a hug as I know you'll be okay after today. A lot of people binge, I'm not sure what triggers it, but when you see the bigger picture I know you'll be okay. Good luck and let us know how you get on. :hug99:
     
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  4. vicster

    vicster CD addict

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    Hey.. don't beat yourself up.. look how well you are doing.. everyone has bad days/weeks even months.. just think that as bad as you may feel that you have eaten a lot.. you have probably not eaten as much as what you did on a normal day prior to LL.
    Don't worry, tomorrow is another day. Chin up
     
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  5. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    In a way being able to have food is harder than none I would imagine! Try & look at the reason why you binged, learn from it & move on! Tomorrow is a whole new day!
     
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  6. RED

    RED Full Member

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    *BIG HUG* Dont punish yourself we all have blips and sometime or another...last week was full of blips for me..but you know what? Today is a new day...I agree with In search of me..try to understand why you binged so next time you prepared to beat it!!! *BIG HUG*
     
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  7. katie_oxo

    katie_oxo Silver Member

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    Oh Minny I really feel for you, please just let today be one day and then start tomorrow a new month with a whole new frame of mind. As you say you've only a stone to go until your next stage, you'll be able to do that in four weeks.

    (((hugs)))

    Cath
     
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  8. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

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    Hey there SM! I said exactly the same to my counsellor last week. I did my foundation, did a couple of months of development - then had to go away for 3 weeks to a situation where I would be eating so did a mini-management, went away, coped fine, came back. The idea was to go straight back onto packs - but NO! Suddenly I started bingeing and bingeing and then purging (the very behaviour that drove me to LL in the 1st place!). After a week I was so desperate to get back onto packs I was grateful to run away from that dark place again! BUT - I too was wondering what the hell!!! Have I learned nothing!!

    But, actually I think I have, I have a better understanding of where I'm at now. I looked at the reasons why I did it and I can see what led me to that behaviour. My counsellor and the others in the group were saying that they reckon it takes at least a year to start to turn around behaviour for most LL members - and even then it's clearly a lifelong thing.

    Don't beat yourself up. Think of this as a lifelong journey to be enjoyed. You've stopped off briefly at a shitty destination - the locals are unpleasant, the accommodation is crap but you're leaving soon and on to better places!! It WILL pass and you will move on. But don't put too much pressure on yourself.

    Good luck. :)
     
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  9. cath2007

    cath2007 Full Member

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    be kind to yourself, you have done so well so far! try to move on, accept it then\forget about it and forgive yurself

    take care:hug99:

    cath
     
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  10. Geri

    Geri Gold Member

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    Hiya skinny,
    You've had some great advice there :) draw a line under it and move on....

    One stone to go, how great is that... keep going, as Katie says you can have that off in a Month.. then you can go into Management and be eating legally!! :D

    Did you write a 'dear me' letter when you first started? If so have a read of that.. will help to remind you of why you started your journey...

    When's your next meeting? sure you're group will be full of ideas to help you too, as well as us lot on here :p

    Stay strong and Keep shaking... How are you feeling today?
     
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  11. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    I too had picked all last week, now I have got it out my system and back on track and am going for it now.....!
    We can do this, we will succeed and be looking fabulous pretty damn soon.
     
  12. Pixie

    Pixie Silver Member

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    Oh Min!

    Weirdly I am in exactley the same sitch.
    I only have 13lb to go now to target and I ate and ate and ate on Sunday.
    I have felt like absolute crap ever since, really rough and tired!
    Do you think we might be trying to sabotage ourselves?
    I was back on track yesterday and so far today so it doesn't seem to be impossible to get back on track...
     
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  13. Vorlina

    Vorlina Full Member

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    I agree - I have one stone to lose until I'm at the target I want to enter management in, with the 100 days up on Friday and I am FAR more terrified of development than I was of foundation!
    I think it is because we all fixate so heavily on the 100 days deadline, and we don't recognise that actually, for some of us we are not doing a 100 day programme, we are doing a programme to lose X amount of weight, no matter how long that takes.

    But we're all thinking of you and you can so do this. Back on the wagon, young lady!
     
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  14. katie_oxo

    katie_oxo Silver Member

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    How are you doing today Minny?

    Hope you've had a much better day :)

    Cath
     
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  15. Janey

    Janey Intuitive Eater

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    Hi Minny, I hope today was much better for you and I hope you are feeling a lot brighter. Don't worry if today wasn't too good ...... don't forget the phrase "if you can't be good today, there's always tomorrow"!! :D
     
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  16. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Hi guys not too good today either, but determined it is just a blip - strange I always get these binge urges around TPOTM and it seems now 100 days is up I have lost the will to beat them - like some of you have said we get fixated with the 100 days and it is hard to think much beyond that.

    My weigh in is tomorrow & I am sure I have gained weight, maybe this will give me the kick up the bum I need.

    Thanks guys for all your support you are great
    x
     
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  17. Janey

    Janey Intuitive Eater

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    What you have experienced is totally natural, it's called being a human being and we all experience bad days now and then. :) So please don't think you're alone in this. The key is how quickly you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off. The sooner you can do that, the sooner you can forget these past few days and look forward to a bright, happy and slimmer future. Good luck!! :D
     
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  19. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    Great that you're feeling more positive! Great advice given and rememer this is a lifelong thing - even when e eat we're going to have bad days and its about not sayig "oh well what the hell" like we used to and accepting that we have to adjust! Well done for getting back on but dnt forget what a fantsatoc achievement you have made so far! Also, try & take it a day at a time rather than focussing on 100 days etc - its alot easier in my book! Big hugs & hope group goes well!
     
  20. pam4pt

    pam4pt New Member

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    Last week I was in exactly the same place - eating secretly whilst pretending to stick with the programme and feeling absolutely awful about myself. On Sunday I gave myself permission to eat and had lunch with friends - guess what? I felt better for not doing it in secret and eating wasn't so special! Monday I was able to get back on track with renewed enthusiasm. Am I annoyed with myself for falling off the wagon? Yes, of course. But gradually I am learning to be proud of my successes instead of only focusing on my failures, so I'm proud of picking myself up and getting back with the programme. There was a time when one blip would result in me just giving up. So, know that you are not alone and appreciate yourself for your determination in continuing despite the difficulties.
     
  21. skinnyminny

    skinnyminny Full Member

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    Thanks for all your support guys, well I guessed right I gained this week - bloody 4lbs.........:eek: I am not going to bother updating my ticker cos it will not be there for long.

    Onwards & downwards!
     
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