I found this post from last year during one of my failed restarts
But my biggest reason is want to stop putting my life on hold... I keep saying... I'll meet up with old friends when I'm thin, I'll go to pole fit with my friends when I'm thin, I'll go on a night out when i'm thin....
For nearly 5 years I've been saying this (and I'm only 26) Now my entire life hasnt been on hold but there is always something stopping me letting go fully.. I get on a plane and worry - am i going to have to ask for a belt extensioner... the food on the plane comes round but my tray doesnt sit flat, I immediately offer to hold my son so everyone else can eat and I dont have to try and pull my tray down, I dance somewhere - I immediately look around to see if anyone is laughing at the fat woman joggling about everywhere, I can't eat in public in case people look at me and wonder why I am eating because I'm fat enough, I refuse to go shopping with friends as half the clothes shops in our town dont do my size, I take my little boy to football and cant run around like all the other mum and dads, I dont want to get a spray tan anymore as it means being naked in front some one, I'm even as stupid to think that I can't get my nails done because i bite them and I don't want the beautican to think that I resort to eating my own fingernails cause I'm that fat and hungry...
I'm sat here in tears now, I've never admitted anyof this before to anyone. Anyone who meets me thinks that I'm some confident woman who doesn't give 2 hoots about what people think about her but it's all an act x
Now you would think that would motivate me , which it does however it gives me a long term goal which I always say... I'll start tomorrow, I lost 3 and a half stone last year for holiday but stupidly put it all back on so this Im back to slim down for a holiday, except the stakes are higher this year... We're going to Mexico on a dream holiday, it's cost us £3000 which is a whole lot more than I would ever dream of spending but you know what there is NO way that I'm going to let my fat a$$ make me waste £3000 on a holiday because I hate the way I look, so I created my diary... 123 days and 72lbs... This is now called 120 days and 62.5lbs as it reflects my journey to Mexico!!! That's what really motivates me!
I probably sound shallow as I'm more motivated by a holiday than being fit for my son but you have to start somewhere!!