Whoops

[KD]

Pathetic Karion. Go to the bottom of the class. Do not pass go, and certainly don't even think about counting those calories unless you have a super duper calculator that works in millions and trillions

Okay....perhaps not trillions

Seriously grade F though

Will do better tomorrow. Will be the epitome of perfection. Possibly

 

[sonkie]

AwwwwTweety dont worry I think a lot of us have been bad....or even very bad.
Well im starting yet again tomorrow...........!
We can do this........cant we ?

 

[KD]

Yep we can Sonya mate

Bloody stoopid food. Just keeps getting in my way.

I think I'll go in the kitchen to pack the dishwasher, and find things. Come back out of the kitchen. No dishwasher packed, but my mouth is Blah

 

[canireallydothis!!]

I know that feeling hun, all started off fab for me today, then I lost track of time, 3 oclock, no time to do anything as DD has party, at 3 oclock, stuff face with rubbish to counter act starving feeling, and then carry on!!! Arghhhh, ah well, am all planned for next week as back at work, and tbh, have had a great week as its been my week off, so one day aint gonna put us off track.

As long as its just the odd day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KD]

no time to do anything as DD has party, at 3 oclock, stuff face with rubbish to counter act starving feeling, and then carry on!!!

Like me, except the 'carry on' started at about 6:00am

4lbs on yesterday

I'm wasted you know. Don't know why I'm teaching in school when I'd be much better placed in a home advising anorexics and showing them by example.

 

[icemoose]

Don't beat yourself up and you know that the 4 pounds is 95% water that will drop off in the blink of an eye.

Just make today a fruit day and drink loads of water and you'll be just fine........

You didn't stay slim for 22 months without knowing you can do it

M.

 

[Barb]

Oh Karion, there is no on more able to beat yourself up than - yourself!
Come on, you are a fantastic inspiration to all of us strugglers on here, in a way, if you can have a bad day it just makes the rest of us feel less bad about our bad days!

I guess everyone, fat, thin and inbetween has days when they slip off the rails. Trick is to draw a line under it and move on. Hark at me, telling you what to do!

Anyway, you are always there to encourage, advise and support, so just wanted to try to give a little back.

Have a good day today, enjoy the sunshine and forget about yesterday, it's gone!

Love

 

[KD]

Don't beat yourself up and you know that the 4 pounds is 95% water that will drop off in the blink of an eye.

Just make today a fruit day and drink loads of water and you'll be just fine........

You didn't stay slim for 22 months without knowing you can do it

M.

Thanks Mike. It's all so 'eternal' though isn't it.:sigh: I know I can get it off....but sometimes, you know....just don't want to be bothered with it. I know that I have to though as it's so much easier picking up the pieces quickly.

I guess everyone, fat, thin and inbetween has days when they slip off the rails. Trick is to draw a line under it and move on. Hark at me, telling you what to do!

I need telling. Thanks Barb. It's so easy to think your invincible when things go to plan for a while. Not that I do really, but you can get over confident.

I do have the occasional slips...very often don't even really consider them slips..just being normal.

I get a bit panicky if I enjoy them too much though, and even more scared when I don't done feel particularly motivated to deal with it the next day.

Will be on my guard today. Been drink tea. Haven't had breakfast yet, but then I was eating until 3:00am this morning

 

[KD]

Well I'll be jiggered. Today eating little has been dead easy. Why? Cos I feel blah. Very bloated, a bit nauseous and very sluggish.

Serves me right.

Back to school tomorrow and wondering if there is anything I can tick off my 'todo in half term' list

Ummm. Okay....43 things to do. What can I tick? Anything?

Seems not. How very strange. Could have sworn I had done something this week

Oh, I did paint a load of sticks for school. I know I did that as I have bright orange and green paint on my favourite shorts.

It for a 'stick routine' my Yr 4's will be doing to the music of We Go Together from Grease. Will be fab.

Concert day approaches

. Only 17 more days. Scary.

 

[nadhak]

Hi Karion -glad that you have had a better eating day - I wish I had been able to get straight back into a healthy day, following a binge day!
I have started back on packs which I am aiming to do for 2 weeks - I have gained 10 lbs in my bingefest, which i know is very manageable , but my head was just not in the right zone to deal with it through food!
I am hoping to re-balance myself and go back to my healthy eating lifestyle where I was fully aware of what I was eating!
Its like I have been unconcious at mealtimes these past few months and it was a scarey return to my past!
Good luck with the rehearsals for concert day - sounds amazing!

 

[KD]

Hiya Nadine Long time no speak!

Its like I have been unconcious at mealtimes these past few months and it was a scarey return to my past!

I can so understand that! The truth is, I miss stuffing sometimes. It's not that I ever deprived myself or get hungry, just that a full on binge does something (at the time) that nothing else has yet been able to fill

It really is like a drug for me. It relaxes me, and gives me a carefree feeling. And as I sit and stuff, I never get full, and I just don't ever feel satisfied. Always looking for something else.

Strangely, during these sessions, I have been known to crave weird things like fruit and veg but for some reason, I don't allow myself them. Almost as if it will spoil the day (even though I like F&V now), or maybe energise me when I don't want to be energised. I just want to sit in a stupor and fill my face. I don't want to feel 'alive' and I certainly don't want to eat anything that will stop my binge.

No idea whether I'm enjoying the food. That really doesn't come into it. It's the feeling it gives me at the time that I look for. Can only get that with high carb, high fat foods it seems

I know that this only happen very occassionally, so it's no big deal really, and as long as I pick up the next day...all will be well. Just frightened that I wont have the motivation the next day and will suddenly wake up 8 stone heavier.

And though I enjoy the binge, it scares me to death when it's over. Really knocks the small amount of confidence that I have managed to accrue

So good to hear you have picked yourself up before it became too much of a problem Nadine. You'll soon get it off again.

Blasted food eh!

 

[canireallydothis!!]

. Just frightened that I wont have the motivation the next day and will suddenly wake up 8 stone heavier.

Blasted food eh!

That is my worst fear, but think logically, it aint gonna happen, with the support on here, and the fact you have been slim for nearly 2 yrs is proof.

Plus, like we all say, the routine has gone due to the week off, all will be well as from now x

 

[KD]

Plus, like we all say, the routine has gone due to the week off, all will be well as from now x

Yep, much easier when we are in the routine. DS2 has just passed me a packet of chocolate peanuts and I ate the long in about 15 seconds

Tummy settling though....just still feel so bloated which I never used to do when I had a binge pre CD.

Blast, can't even binge properly now:sigh: At least no Gallstone symptoms which I sort of half expected:clap:

 

[z4oslo]

I know you are familiar with the PMK forum.
You know the scary forum where people eat what they want, and they still lose weight/maintain without giving it a second thought.

You have lost alot of weight, I really admire you for that. But still you seem to have problems around food. I think you could really benefit from Pauls system.

 

[KD]

But still you seem to have problems around food. I think you could really benefit from Pauls system.

Do you think so? I've had one day of eating too much, which has been followed by two days of not particularly wanting to each much. It's a very rare thing to happen. Guess my body/mind just wanted to go mad that day

So, if I do change my system (which is very much like PMcK anyway), does this guarantee that I will never ever want to over eat ever again?

Is it worth changing? Don't pmck people ever have odd days when they just eat what they like? Perhaps they just don't ever have panic about it, whereas I have a little panic a couple of times a year...though I reckon I'll get better. Not bad really for someone who has had an eating disorder for close on 50 years.

Just not sure whether it's worth putting my system that works so well 99% of the time, in jeopardy to do it the PMcK way

Always open to suggestions though and as I've said many times before, I think the PMcK way is fab...just not sure it's right for me, but it would be terrific to be 100% perfect if that what PMcK offers

 

[KD]

Ahhh, life is good Can't believe how easy it has been to cut down this last couple of days. It just felt so natural Didn't even have to think about it. Just didn't want much.

Think the scales might be kind again tomorrow morning If not...I'll take them apart to teach them a lesson

Dreadful day at school. Me blubbing. Mustn't blub in front of the kids...but so hard when you feel the tears welling up and you just know they are going to spill over.

Not the kids fault though. Nobody's fault really...just the joys of school life and trying to fit too much into too little time.

Ended up in the office saying 'Don't let me cry.....don't let me cry!!!!" and then they were all nice, sweet and caring. So what do I do??? Flipping cry:cry:

Anyway. Pleased with how things have gone on the food front. Reckon it's only natural to have a panic every now and again. It's hard to completely give over to your instincts when you've spent so many years in the dieting mindset.

I'm getting there. Just must keep the faith in what I'm doing.

 

[z4oslo]

Do you think so? I've had one day of eating too much, which has been followed by two days of not particularly wanting to each much. It's a very rare thing to happen. Guess my body/mind just wanted to go mad that day

It dosnt really matter what i think, you have the answer to that question, and judging by the words you write the answer is no.

So, if I do change my system (which is very much like PMcK anyway), does this guarantee that I will never ever want to over eat ever again?

Of course there is a guarantee. You will always eat the correct amount of food, and only if you are hungry. You will smile everyday and nothing will bother you ever again
Nope ... thats a big fat lie. That would be most days, but not every day. There is no such thing as a guarantee.

Is it worth changing? Don't pmck people ever have odd days when they just eat what they like? Perhaps they just don't ever have panic about it, whereas I have a little panic a couple of times a year...though I reckon I'll get better. Not bad really for someone who has had an eating disorder for close on 50 years.

I cant speak for others. I can only speak for myself.
I have been on a diet, and i have tried to maintain. For me it was just impossible, cause it made me think about food alot more than i wanted. Good food, bad food, too little, too much, checking scale. Counting calories. Feeling guilty if i mess up, feeling bad if the scale shows a weight gain. You know how it works.

Thats not for me, and thats why i love PMK system so much. I can always feel relaxed about food, i can eat whatever i want provided that im actually hungry, I have stopped checking the scale every other day (or everyday) I have stopped thinking about food except when im hungry. Food dosnt really have any power of me anymore and thats a big relif.
A few days ago i did eat when i was not hungry. Had some sort of a minibinge. First one i had since i started PMK in April. I was glad to find out that i didnt really care. I didnt feel bad about it, and i did not have the urge to go to the scale to get a full damage report, followed by guilt and whats not.

Just not sure whether it's worth putting my system that works so well 99% of the time, in jeopardy to do it the PMcK way
Always open to suggestions though and as I've said many times before, I think the PMcK way is fab...just not sure it's right for me, but it would be terrific to be 100% perfect if that what PMcK offers

I'm not in a position to tell you what to do and what not to do. The reason i bugged in, was because i had a feeling you still had some problems with food. Maybe I was reading in between the lines. Again, you have the answer as to what system is best for you.
You have lost alot of weight and kept it there for 2 years, and thats bloody amazing!!!!
And, maybe you need some kind of structure in your life when it comes to food, so you feel you need to count calories (if you do that) and have yes, no and once in a while food categories.

We are all different. All i know is that I have enough worries in my life. I dont need food to be one of them.

At lastm Paul dosnt offer anything, other than a few tools to take back control. Noone can be 100% perfect with anything.
I noticed you became very defensive. I certainly didnt mean to step on your toes, or tell you how to do things.
I was only making a suggestion, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[KD]

It dosnt really matter what i think, you have the answer to that question, and judging by the words you write the answer is no.

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I haven't just yet. Perhaps the PMcK system is quicker at getting me there. I don't know. Perhaps I'm a total failure at the maintenance lark and should never ever slip into my previous life. Okay...hands up. I'm a failure :cry:

Nope ... thats a big fat lie. That would be most days, but not every day. There is no such thing as a guarantee.

But surely I have that now. Most days, most months....fine. Just the odd one every few months or so where I panic for a moment.

I agree...that's why I chose a method that wouldn't include that for maintenance. Counting calories. Feeling guilty if i mess up, feeling bad if the scale shows a weight gain. You know how it works.

Exactly, which is why I have stopped doing that. It was just this moment.

I have stopped thinking about food except when im hungry. Food dosnt really have any power of me anymore and thats a big relif.

And same here. I don't count calories. I eat when I'm ready, I stop when I'm ready. I don't have good foods and bad foods Yes, I do weigh myself, but it makes little difference to what I do on the food front. Pure entertainment value really.

. I was glad to find out that i didnt really care. I didnt feel bad about it, and

And I have the occassionaly mini binge and don't feel guilty about it either. The sometimes....just sometimes, I think "OMG, I just hope this sorts itself out. I hope I can trust my body to do what it should do" and it does. But sometimes, and we are talking about every six months or so (at the moment...but I'm sure I'll improve) I just think about the possibility of things not going right. Is that so bad??

i did not have the urge to go to the scale to get a full damage report, followed by guilt and whats not.

My friends are on here. They support me. They remind me that it's okay. Nobody else knows anything about how I maintain. I don't discuss it with my family or offline friends.

Perhaps I shouldn't share my innermost thoughts, but to be honest, I find it helpful to have someone tell me it's okay. You're doing fine. You have the PMcK CD to do that. These people are my PMcK. I need them and I need to share when I feel a bit wobbly.

You have lost alot of weight and kept it there for 2 years, and thats bloody amazing!!!!

Thank you

so you feel you need to count calories (if you do that)

No I don't. I eat what I want when I want it. Much like PMcK folk.

At lastm Paul dosnt offer anything, other than a few tools to take back control. Noone can be 100% perfect with anything.
I noticed you became very defensive.

Yes. I am defensive. I've worked bloody hard to get where I am. I've given up smoking, maintained my weight loss, not had the biannual nervous breakdown, and not dieted. I'm no great success story. I'm a failure at most things, but this is the one thing that I'm beginning to build up some pride in. It's taken time.

I was brought up never to be proud of anything. Never to tell anyone of any achievements. To keep them quiet. Nobody wants to hear.

Gradually I am learning that I should be a little proud of myself and how I've coped. I'm just a little chuffed. Not a lot, because just sometimes I'm concerned that I might do what I've done hundreds of times before.

I was only making a suggestion, nothing more, nothing less.

I think it was a little more than that. Even go as far as to think you were trying to knock me off course. It's been a bad day at work (not with food), and to come home and find a message suggesting that I wasn't managing, and perhaps ought to change plans, was a tad hurtful.

If I need my friends when I feel my confidence just takes a bit of a nose dive for a moment, I will call on them. If you feel that makes me unsuccessful in what I'm trying to do, then that is your problem.

 

[z4oslo]

If I need my friends when I feel my confidence just takes a bit of a nose dive for a moment, I will call on them. If you feel that makes me unsuccessful in what I'm trying to do, then that is your problem.

Ok then. seems like we agree on most parts, and there is mo need for me to comment the whole post.

I will say this though: Please do not try to dicate my thoughts. It seems like you actually belive im trying to mislead you, and that I do not ackowledge your archeivement.

You SHOULD be proud of your archeivement, cause it is. like you said a brilliant success story! I most certainly do not look down on you, I admire you for it.

As I said in my previous post, I was reading it in a way that lead me to belive you were fedup with maintaining, and somehow struggeled with it.
If you are happy with the the system you have, then thats excellent! I was under the impression you were not. My bad.

Thats all i had to say, and i will watch my words more carefully in the future.

Guards down?

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I haven't just yet. Perhaps the PMcK system is quicker at getting me there. I don't know.

Quicker at getting you where hun??? From where I am you have got there!!!

A member of my staff today told me the amount she ate today, I wont go into it as you will drool but, and its a big but, this girl is naturally slim, and she just had a day where she wanted to eat. Now I know tomorrow will be different for her, she will eat better, but its natural to her, just as it was to you after your off day. This girl doesnt have an eating disorder or any form of problem with food. Its just what happens!

Perhaps I'm a total failure at the maintenance lark and should never ever slip into my previous life. Okay...hands up. I'm a failure :cry:

In the words of a well known comedian "MY @RSE!!!!!!!!"

But surely I have that now. Most days, most months....fine. Just the odd one every few months or so where I panic for a moment.

The odd panic is normal, shows that you understand where you came from to where you are now

And same here. I don't count calories. I eat when I'm ready, I stop when I'm ready. I don't have good foods and bad foods Yes, I do weigh myself, but it makes little difference to what I do on the food front. Pure entertainment value really.

Cant wait for that! The day I weigh for entertainment!!!

And I have the occassionaly mini binge and don't feel guilty about it either. The sometimes....just sometimes, I think "OMG, I just hope this sorts itself out. I hope I can trust my body to do what it should do" and it does. But sometimes, and we are talking about every six months or so (at the moment...but I'm sure I'll improve) I just think about the possibility of things not going right. Is that so bad??
My friends are on here. They support me. They remind me that it's okay. Nobody else knows anything about how I maintain. I don't discuss it with my family or offline friends.

We are always here, and you have been my Paragon KD

Perhaps I shouldn't share my innermost thoughts, but to be honest, I find it helpful to have someone tell me it's okay.

Its more than OK, its bluddy brilliant, I would use more expletives but they are banned!!!

You have the PMcK CD to do that. These people are my PMcK. I need them and I need to share when I feel a bit wobbly.

Yup, a cd couldnt do that for me, not that I dont think it couldnt do it for anyone else, its just not me, and I dont think its you either.

Yes. I am defensive. I've worked bloody hard to get where I am. I've given up smoking, maintained my weight loss, not had the biannual nervous breakdown, and not dieted. I'm no great success story. I'm a failure at most things, but this is the one thing that I'm beginning to build up some pride in. It's taken time.

And why the heck not, be defensive if you want, just not too much, you have little to defend

I was brought up never to be proud of anything. Never to tell anyone of any achievements. To keep them quiet. Nobody wants to hear.

I DO!!!!!!!!!!!

Gradually I am learning that I should be a little proud of myself and how I've coped. I'm just a little chuffed. Not a lot, because just sometimes I'm concerned that I might do what I've done hundreds of times before.

Arent we all, and the fact you are aware of what you have done speaks volumes

I think it was a little more than that. Even go as far as to think you were trying to knock me off course. It's been a bad day at work (not with food), and to come home and find a message suggesting that I wasn't managing, and perhaps ought to change plans, was a tad hurtful.

I can understand that KD, maybe it was meant as a helpful suggestion, we are all passionate about what we do to lose weight and maintain.

If I need my friends when I feel my confidence just takes a bit of a nose dive for a moment, I will call on them.

Just shout buddy, and we will be there.

If you feel that makes me unsuccessful in what I'm trying to do, then that is your problem.

No one, and I mean no one, can ever ever call you unsuccessful, Promise x