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Why do I do this?!

Lozzie Stardust

Fat Geek to Thin Geek
Sorry ladies & gents, I need a vent!

Why oh why oh why am I not able to stick to this? I've lost 13lb so far, which is good, I was doing WW discover properly. Fell off the wagon once or twice but jumped straight on the next day! I was going to the gym but I can't currently due to health reasons.

But now last week I unintentionally packed it in, the start of this week is just as bad, I seem to be on some kind of self destruction mission, that and the OH wanting a take away seemingly all the time and buying me tons of cake & chocolate (which I know I shouldn't complain if he loves me & does fantastic things like surprise me!)

Why can't I stick to this? Where has all my self discipline gone?! I need to kick myself up my lardy bum.
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Hi Lozzie,

OK, this happens. Its not the end of the world but if you want a boot up the bum consider yourself well and truely booted :)

Seriously, it sounds as though you have a couple of issues here. Your loss of motivation and your OH's lack of support.

If he really wants to show love and surprise you he needs to do it in a way that will be good for you. Maybe you need to be very clear with him about this. Tell him you love the surprises and treats but don't want choccies and cake and takeaways. What else could he do to treat you?

The other thing is your loss of motivation.

For any lifestyle change to work we need both an 'away from' motivation and a 'towards' motivation. You've done brilliantly to lose as much as you have and perhaps it is also enough to make you lose your 'away from' motivation.

What are your goals? What do you want to achieve by losing weight? And what is it that will benefit you for your whole life if you carry less weight around with you. Spend some time focusing on that to find out what it is you want to achieve. Maybe your away from motivation could do with a bit of boosting too. Spend some time thinking about what will happen to you if you do not change your current ways. These thought processes all help build motivation.

You mentioned health issues. Do you feel like you need a bit of pampering now? A bit of looking after? And does 'looking after' equate with food? Just questions I'm asking to help you look at what is going on for you.

It could also be that being overweight has a (possibly hidden) benefit for you. This is very often the case. I discovered after a year of piggery after losing loads that my binging and fatness was my way of saying I couldn't cope on my own with the burden of my family's problems. Many people discover that being fat protects them. From unwanted sexual attention for example. Or it gives them a large and strong physical presence in the world. If you can't discover any of this by yourself and get re-motivated I'd suggest reading some thought provoking and inspirational books or listening to this podcast Podcast: Inside Out Weight Loss - Aligning Mind Body and Spirit for Lasting Change | Diet | Weight Loss | NLP | Motivation | Fitness

or even getting some counselling

hth, good luck


Lozzie Stardust

Fat Geek to Thin Geek
Wow! Thanks ever so much, I shall do some soul searching tonight!

I think the main reasons the OH buys me food treats and takeaways, is that he's been house bound by IBS for around 14 months now, he's just started leaving the house to the local shop, during this time I've been almost like a part time carer, I wonder if it's to 'show off' where he's gone and I wonder if the takeaways are compensation for the fact he feels bad that he can't take me out anywhere? Hummmm...
You are very welcome.

I hope your evening's pondering is fruitful. Why not have a good talk with your OH as well and see how he can show his appreciation without using food.

I don't know how WW works - can you devise low point treats? That he could buy ingredients for and prepare for you?

But, my feeling is that using food as a reward and giving it other values apart from plain nutrition can be a trap for those of us with dificulties around food. Making it more special and desirable when it is in essence fuel.

Maybe I'm a bit over the top there, eating with friends is an enjoyable way of cementing a relationship and I want to have a sufficiently healthy relationship with food to be able to eat in celebration and then automatically compensate with eating less. Not quite there yet :)

I hope all goes well tonight


Hippety Hop!
Hi Lozzie, I was very surprised when you said about your OH having takeaways and he suffers from IBS!?! I suffer from this and that kind of food is an absolute nono for me. I know different things trigger peoples IBS but that has to be one of the very worst.
Some proper healthy eating would be beneficial for both of you methinks..

Lozzie Stardust

Fat Geek to Thin Geek
I had a long bath and a ponder, I think I've just gotten almost content with being fat, it's been my defence and I hide behind it, I take the mickey out of myself, before anyone else can, I'm the jolly chunky lass, it's almost my persona, I drop the weight and then just get de motivated as I've failed so many times, but this time I WILL stick to it, just jump back on if it goes wrong!

I also realised I boredom eat, I've taken up knitting so my hands are busy not trying to stuff my face lol! Also the surgery on my leg has healed but the one on my arm hasn't so I can't go to the gym but I walked a mile on Wednesday.

Talked to the OH and we agreed portion controllable treats if any & that flowers are good lol! Also that he doesn't need to compensate (I said that 1st lol) for his being housebound, doing the housework is good enough!

We've tried everything to control his IBS, he even went to a dietician and got put on a liquid only diet, it made no difference, it doesn't matter if he's on special food replacement drinks or eats a large BBQ double cheese pepperoni pizza the end result is the same :(

Thanks for the help, just realised my own worst enemy is me & my persona, just got to shut her up!!! I'm also going to try H.A.L.T & 'Fred' that are listed in this forum to challenge my thinking :) would have taken another failed attempt to realise all this, thanks for keeping me on the straight & narrow!

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Thats wonderful, well done for doing all you have done. That sounds a really productive bath and talk. Sooooooo - how many pounds off next week? :) :) :)

Lozzie Stardust

Fat Geek to Thin Geek
I'm hoping 2 at least as I've either gained or STS this week after my mini diet crisis I'm treating tomorrow as my start again weigh in then jumping on the wagon with both feet :)

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