Why do people say......

Lauratheloop

Lauratheloop

Silver Member
Oh don't lose too much weight you won't look right slim or skinny????

WTF?? I've never really been slim or skinny so how the hell would you even know ?!

*sighs*
 
oasis6918 said:
Ha ha very true, also make that same point x
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Oh I've given up saying it now - ppl seem to think they know me better and what's best.... I cannot think better then being able to see no lumps or bumps but be healthy and athletic lol

X
 
People fear change- human response. That and people generally don't like others to succeed!

I've never been slim. I might look rubbish- but I won't know until I find out ;)
 
I think, to be fair, there's also the worry that you might go too far the other way and end up underweight to the point of risking your health, which is probably worse than being overweight in the first place. Certainly not suggesting that you would, but it does happen and your friends are going to worry about you. It may also just be their way of saying "you look great as you are, don't be hard on yourself" if it's in response to negative stuff.
 
yeah i agree with dominoid ubove (yes you up there) lol it also depends on who is saying it to you, for example yes if its friends and family then they are just being caring but foes or *****y people and i get comments from them people all the time they just dont want the competition because they know once your body looks better you have a better personality and therefore they will have to up thier game ... sados!!
anyway it looks like you are doing great with or without thier comments!! well done x
 
its got to depend on who is saying it like other posters have said and what they mean as some people can be watching out for your best interests and health yet others may be doing it to sabotage you or undermine your progress, you always need to be aware of what the motive is, if its just out of genuine concern then its much better.

The thing is it is easier than you think to go from one extreme to the other, many people don't but others do, I have a binge eating disorder which involves starvation and binge urges and whilst I am trying so hard right now to do the moderation thing thanks to help from my eating disorder therapist I have constant binge and starvation urges. When I am not dieting, the binge urges are much stronger than the starvation ones but when I am trying to lose weight the starvation urges become much stronger than the binge ones and whilst my body would not give that impression , my thoughts can become similar to that of someone with anorexia, what shocked me was when I do group therapy with people who suffer from binge or compulsive eating disorders alongside those who suffer with anorexia or bulimia even though our bodies are totally different in size and shape our thoughts are so scarily similar! I once did a VLCD something which should never be done if you have an eating disorder of any kind and I became really slim and got more and more addicted to feeling empty and not having proper food, its just as dangerous as when I eat massive binges and get really large.

Em
 
1978Emma said:
its got to depend on who is saying it like other posters have said and what they mean as some people can be watching out for your best interests and health yet others may be doing it to sabotage you or undermine your progress, you always need to be aware of what the motive is, if its just out of genuine concern then its much better.

The thing is it is easier than you think to go from one extreme to the other, many people don't but others do, I have a binge eating disorder which involves starvation and binge urges and whilst I am trying so hard right now to do the moderation thing thanks to help from my eating disorder therapist I have constant binge and starvation urges. When I am not dieting, the binge urges are much stronger than the starvation ones but when I am trying to lose weight the starvation urges become much stronger than the binge ones and whilst my body would not give that impression , my thoughts can become similar to that of someone with anorexia, what shocked me was when I do group therapy with people who suffer from binge or compulsive eating disorders alongside those who suffer with anorexia or bulimia even though our bodies are totally different in size and shape our thoughts are so scarily similar! I once did a VLCD something which should never be done if you have an eating disorder of any kind and I became really slim and got more and more addicted to feeling empty and not having proper food, its just as dangerous as when I eat massive binges and get really large.

Em
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I'm really sorry to hear that hun, I can't imagine what it must be like, I mean food consumes my every thought but that's because yes I am determined to be in y healthy BMI to which I'm still atleast 2 stone off but also because I love my food.

For me allot of people say it probably just out of kindness towards me and that it's okay for me to be me in whatever size that may be but also to support that I look great now but then you get the odd snide comment that I wouldn't look right much slimmer- well I'm only just below the 13's and a size 14 and I'm not particular tall and trust me naked I have the unsightly over hang belly from children etc but trust me I would and could never have an aversion to eating, eating is a big social thing me and my family and we all gather to socialise with friends an family and food and drink is the main attraction, for me this is about being in time with what's healthy for me an not and learning not to stuff my face.
I have big hips and my shoulders are the same width I could never be a size 8 I would look wrong but I would live to be a toned size 10/12 and that's my aim,

I understand people care but honestly at a size 14 with wobbly bits for people to tell me not to lose anymore weight is a bit hasty, I've been big majority of my life and I wonder if people just find it difficult to adjust but also out of jealously

But I mean we're all different an all have different friends and acquaintances (or however that is spelt lol)

Thanks for your comments tho x
 
1978Emma said:
its got to depend on who is saying it like other posters have said and what they mean as some people can be watching out for your best interests and health yet others may be doing it to sabotage you or undermine your progress, you always need to be aware of what the motive is, if its just out of genuine concern then its much better.

The thing is it is easier than you think to go from one extreme to the other, many people don't but others do, I have a binge eating disorder which involves starvation and binge urges and whilst I am trying so hard right now to do the moderation thing thanks to help from my eating disorder therapist I have constant binge and starvation urges. When I am not dieting, the binge urges are much stronger than the starvation ones but when I am trying to lose weight the starvation urges become much stronger than the binge ones and whilst my body would not give that impression , my thoughts can become similar to that of someone with anorexia, what shocked me was when I do group therapy with people who suffer from binge or compulsive eating disorders alongside those who suffer with anorexia or bulimia even though our bodies are totally different in size and shape our thoughts are so scarily similar! I once did a VLCD something which should never be done if you have an eating disorder of any kind and I became really slim and got more and more addicted to feeling empty and not having proper food, its just as dangerous as when I eat massive binges and get really large.

Em
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bless you, your journey sounds very complicated and its an eye opener for me to think of food in a different way from which i do myself which i think borders on the slightly obsessed.
At least you are aware that you have this problem i bet for a long time you was unaware of it aswell wasn't you?
i am amazed how you have stayed so positive. xx
 
Oh thanks Charly, I try and remain up beat, I personally think our biggest tool when it comes to losing weight is being in the right mind set and being positive, I get my down days but try and get myself back to my more bubbly self asap, usually with some loud music like Pink that gets me feeling all motivated and ready to go! ha ha

I so agree Lauratheloop, its got to always be about who is saying it, I have people who really want me to lose the weight and feel better about myself with regards to health and looks and then again I know others who seem to love me being the "fat and funny one" and so go all weird on me when I lose weight which is strange because I am doing it in a healthy way I am still managing to stay happy and fun and haven't become the dreaded diet obsessed friend who will not have any treats, in fact I now plan in weekly treats as that works for me to get away from the all or nothing mentality which I have always battled with. I think some people get threatened by change whilst others can embrace it, sometimes an overweight friend may feel unsettled if you say have been the two big friends together, if you change and they aren't it makes them feel more alienated I guess.

Its a weird balance, I know I got the same last time when I got to a much smaller size yet still not anywhere near skinny, people were like "oh don't get too thin", I think its because in comparison to the top weight and the weight I got down to that time I looked so different yet was no way near skinny and people were saying that and I was a size 14, for me because of my height and how I hold my weight at a sz 14 I look more like a size 10/12 so I guess they were comparing that with my previous size 22 and thinking hell you are tiny now yet in reality I looked healthy, sadly that time I achieved the weight loss through a starvation type diet which whilst it worked for losing weight it never helped me deal with my eating disorder and so the weight sadly piled on and on and now I am doing the healthy eating route which weirdly is harder for me but something that is working for me and allowing me to deal with the eating disorder, it will be slower weight loss wise but maybe thats not a bad thing with the amount I need to lose. Em xx
 
omg i love pink she is my fave!! xx
 
Sometimes it's jealousy too. You're doing so well - a brilliant inspiration to others.
 
in the same vain isnt it nice for people to be making them comments out of jelousy! i say hey let them!! and revel in the fact that they are jelous! xxx
 
i agree with others when they have said it depends on who says it to you, a friend of mine says she thinks i would look great as a size 12, maybe not a 10. i didnt take this the wrong way cos i know she isnt like that, where as someone else i know said something along the same lines and i thought wow u jealous little cow. lol definitely depends.
 
Yep I've had a bit of same - some caring and genuine some a little out of jealously....

We shall see tho, I'm not one who craves a skinny body I will stop once I am slimmer and can tone up the wobbly bits lol x
 
hey when you feel like you like what you see and feel then you know its time xxx
 
charly1979 said:
hey when you feel like you like what you see and feel then you know its time xxx
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Thanks Hun... Thing is people think I'm slim bcoz I've lost weight hit what they don't realise is I'm still 13 stone and I was 17 stone so still atleast a little to shift x
 
honey dont let others views or comments trouble you! you know what you have to do and if others dont undrstand then that is tough isnt it??? u will get there because you have done the majority of the hard work all ready others will understand when they see ho9w happy you are. with the diet i am on so many people have said horrid things to me like .. you will get sick,. your stupid, but at the end of the day if that was the case surely the book wouldnt be available to buy and also thousand of people have done it and are healthier because of it!! xx
 
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