why do we do it?

[msblonde]

Hi boys and girls,

I was just writing another thread about other diet cards i have, and noticed weight gained co-incided with social and celebrtory events, prob does for all of us.

what i have suddenly just wondered, is why?

OKOK I know it because we go out, get sloshed, have a meal etc... but why??

why do we over indulge at xmas or birthdays and weddings? why is it ok?

it is the 'social norm' to celebrate with food and drink, but i dont see why we do it, why we feel that, to a certain degree, that we have to.

that if we dont, people think we are odd?

do slim people do it and are just lucky? or are we as LT says addicted to food and looking for any reason to eat extra and justify it?

cause when you think about it, we know we do it, we know we gain weight, often the foods not that great for us and we know it, sometimes we dont even like all the food! buffetts for example...

but we still do it!

why?

cause if we can crack this, i dont think we ever have to be fat or worried about getting fat ever again!

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:sign0163:

 

[largelesley]

i think we just fool ourselves by saying its xmas or whatever so it makes us feel better at overeating . my hubby who is not overweight never seems to think of food and can quite hapily leave haf a plate of food but me i cant i have to eat it all and constantly think of food before this that is hopefully can re educate myself take care lesleyx

 

[Vickie_L]

i think its because events like xmas, birthdays, weddings etc are all based around food. one of the main things of christmas day is christmas dinner! what do you do when its somebody's birthday, go for a meal. So much of life is based around food and alcohol. I think we just need to think of portion control around these times so as we can still enjoy the food - just not so much of it! xx

 

[kazza55]

I hold my parents completely responsible!!!! When i was a child, if you cleared your plate you were rewarded with a pudding. If you didnt clear your plate you had to sit at the table and watch everyone else eat theirs. I suppose its just another one of my many excuses for being greedy really, but that is something that has stuck with me throughout my life but whereas when i was a child my mum used to dish up healthy grub i just used to do the same with junk food, crisps, cake etc......
As for overeating at special times of year, i think it is something everyone does, my problem was that it wasnt just at celebratory events it was every day.

 

[msblonde]

I hold my parents completely responsible!!!! When i was a child, if you cleared your plate you were rewarded with a pudding. If you didnt clear your plate you had to sit at the table and watch everyone else eat theirs. I suppose its just another one of my many excuses for being greedy really, but that is something that has stuck with me throughout my life but whereas when i was a child my mum used to dish up healthy grub i just used to do the same with junk food, crisps, cake etc......
As for overeating at special times of year, i think it is something everyone does, my problem was that it wasnt just at celebratory events it was every day.

yeah mine was like that too, if i wanted a tomato, i had to have bread too!! i couldn't just have a bit of something, it had to be a 'meal'

I was always slim as a child, but as i igot older and more sociable - i got fatter!

 

[2hourglass]

I used to go to the gym and between xmas and new year I was huffing and puffing my extra weight around and there were all the skinnies still the same - not an ounce on. For one reason or another (stress, upset, happy, sad, etc) we have a food addiction it';s doesn't matter what it is specifically but we all seem to have the same issue and when faced with a celebration esp Xmas/Easter/Holiday we seem to give ourselves carte blanch to go for it big style because 'everyone else is' but know what ? NOT everyone else is - the skinnies arn't because food is not an addiction, just fuel for them to use up at the gym. We idolise celebs because they look fab but the have PTs come to their house each day to run them ragged and chefs to cook their white only omlettes - now when they are not filming and they are caught on the beach with (god forbid) a paunchy tum, it just means that they are like some if the rest of us - they eat drink and sh*t but just have a support mechanism to keep them trim for their job.

I think food seems to be a treat to comfort when we are sad to celebrate when we are happy and we have lost sight of the fact that food is merely the fuel we need to exist/live/work/play and we just happen to like it alot more than we should.

I don't smoke, rarely drink, havent done drugs (no I'm not boring Howdy) my VICE is food - I like the smell, taste and the feeling it gives me when I am enjoying it - so sue me

When I am goal however I will NOT go back up again - I can't - I will always love food but I will be more selective with my choices and watch my portion sizes but will not be a slave to abstinance -anyway waffle waffle .....a massive subject.... your turn xx

 

[cuddlyfairy]

I'm like you 2HG, I don't smoke, drink or do drugs (and I'm usually the life and soul of the party Howdy - I'm not boring either!) but I do love my food. I do blame my mum for that. She was always so obsessed with weight that we NEVER had puddings or sweets and biscuits were very sparse. My sis and I used to sneak food into the house and it was always cr*p food. She became anorexic and I became huge!

Even now if they are bored, upset, stressed they don't eat whereas I always turned to food. One chocolate bar was never enough, unless it was a giant one!

My OH is very healthy and works out regularly. A few years ago he had put a bit of weight on coz he has a desk job and decided enough was enough and just lost it in about 3 months! He still works out regularly and eats very healthily.

My mum always moans at Christmas and Easter and every bank holiday coz she sees people in the supermarkets buying food as though it were "going out of fashion" (her words) and she is so true. My food bill is never that much higher at those times unless we are having visitors. I've been to houses where there are tins and tins of sweets, bowls of nuts and other nibbles and gallons of alcohol. Often it's still there 3 months later!!!

I always hated waste and was a little hoover (okay a BIG hoover) when clearing the table of the children's plates. They are bigger now so usually clear their own now.

I have a girlie night out next week but the past few times we have been bowling rather than a meal and have much more fun and still manage to talk all evening as well. Social occasions don't need to revolve around food - shame it's taken me so long to realise that!

x

 

[msblonde]

oh drinking i think was a biggie for me and keith, when we lived in holland we were really stressed and were having a bottle of wine a night each, plus shorts! if we have a bottle of congac in the house its gone in 3 days! well used to be...

avoiding alcohol is a help i think for those of us who drink, as your willpower disolves in the glass!!

i really want to eat a variety of foods and not have to worry all the time, and count cals all the time, i just want to be normal!

like cf i never used to go mad with extra food, just less healthier choices and lots of booze!

the demon drink! only affected at home though, neer drink much when i'm out, the wine is usually naff and shorts are too expensive for the quantity i used to drink!

 

[Guenevere]

This is a really interesting thread! I don't really think I put on weight on social occasions. I put weight at all different stages. Cos I was in the city 18 hrs a day with my bf, when I moved out, or when I was depressed. I do tend to give myself carte blanch and it gets extended and extended, and next thing I know it's 3 months later, and I'm a stone heavier.

Msblonde, I wish I thought it was possible for me to remain slim, and just to subconsiously watch what I eat, but I know it'll never happen. I am just gonna have to be very very careful. I'm sure eventually I'll be able to pay less attention, but then I'll start to slip, and have to start watching myself again.

Guen

 

[msblonde]

hi guen

i know what you mean, it worries me too, i just cant face the prospect of ALWAYS being careful :sigh:

when keith worked away and i only saw him at weekends, i went downhill health wise very rapidly! i think it was also depression and fatigue, thinking that eating woul dmake me feel better!! it did sometimes.

i think we just have to try and start good habits when we refeed, i think it will be hard for most of us otherwise people who have lost before would not come back on here after they have gained some back - it happens to loads of people on all sorts of diet plans...

would like to hear comments from people who are maintaing...

 

[Toots]

I wish I knew!! :sigh:

xx

 

[icemoose]

Hiya Helen

Ok will do it next week

Already have a request for this weeks but definately an interesting subject.

For me it is all about values.

Firstly it is true about the "clean your plate" and that is still because our parents were the war generation where rationing was in effect and hence you did need to eat everything as they couldn't be sure where the next plate was coming from.

In terms of why we overeat etc at events then that is because food is used as a state changing tool, in other words you are getting emotional benefit from eating in that situation, this isn't a problem at all as skinny people do it as well but it is whether it is an appropriate amount of emotional benefit and whether you can find moderation after abstination.

Anyway will do as you asked and hope it helps.

Mike

 

[msblonde]

thanks icemouse, i look forward to it.

 

[judyb]

Although I am only on day 5, I am already facing a problem regarding this my middle son got engaged on saturday the very day I started LT, his fiance wants to have a party and would like to have it at my house, which i said is fine and I can still enjoy it and have fun without eating...but she say no you can't so we will have to postpone it or have it somewhere else making me feel somewhat guilty, but I am not going to cave, cos we are off to spain in October on the motorbike and I have to be able to fit into the gear, I refuse to buy bigger :O
But I just wish they could except that someone can enjoy a celebration without food and still enjoy themselfs.

 

[Gene Genie]

I dont get why it matters if someone is eating or not at an event, i went to a family meal out the other night, sat at the table had a laugh and generally joined in but just didnt eat no one seemed that bothered about it , and i tipped the lovely waitress who kept my glass topped up with good old tap water . If anyone had of made an issue out of it in the family then i would have explained that i am doing this for me and no one tells me what to do they could like it or lump it !

I am planning on refeeding for xmas week but only because its the same week i turn 30 and my 30th birthday bash and one of my goals is to not be fat at 30 so i want to celebrate the new slimmer me.. but then if needs be itll be back on the wagon on boxing day!

 

[msblonde]

Although I am only on day 5, I am already facing a problem regarding this my middle son got engaged on saturday the very day I started LT, his fiance wants to have a party and would like to have it at my house, which i said is fine and I can still enjoy it and have fun without eating...but she say no you can't so we will have to postpone it or have it somewhere else making me feel somewhat guilty, but I am not going to cave, cos we are off to spain in October on the motorbike and I have to be able to fit into the gear, I refuse to buy bigger :O
But I just wish they could except that someone can enjoy a celebration without food and still enjoy themselfs.

hi judy,

firstly welcome, second well done, the hardest part is almost over (first week) second well done on deciding not to cave in at the party...

i find it really shocking of your future daughter in laws comments, i have to say - it boarders on unkind and unreasonable. not wanting to offend or anything as i dont know her, but that's a shocking attitude to someone trying to get control of their weight! i hope your son stuck up for you.

i have a hen night meal in sept, and told the bride to be yesterday that i can neither eat or drink alcohol, she was fine and said 'oh i bet you still manage to have a great time anyway, we'll just pull up an extra chair' she was really reasonable about it, and was more worried about how i would feel with everyone eating and getting sloshed! i'll be just fine as its a fancy dress 60's / 70's era, i'm focusing on getting into a mini skirt without looking daft and chubby!

stick to your guns, and when they find other venues are too expensive or not as accommodating they will be back tail between legs!

good luck