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Worried about Slimming Buddy- should I be more supportive?

frankied

Silver Member
S: 18st0.5lb C: 10st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 26.3 Loss: 7st1.5lb(39.41%)
#1
I met a slimming buddy at the group I go to, but I'm worried that she is 'going to crash and burn'

Every week is loosing 2 to 3lb a week but she's never happy with and always wants more which is unrealistic. For lent she is planning on having no syns until the end of April (a friends birthday do). I'm worried this is so unrealistic. I think she isn't looking at things long term (similar amounts to me to loose). That being so strict she'll fall off the wagon repeatedly and may even end either feeling it's not fast enough or too miserable from being so strict (thats if she manages it) and give up the diet completely (she has done slimming world before)

Have other people tried being so strict and it gone horribly wrong? Or have other people had experiences of being a lot stricter and it working well for them?

Do people think I should encourage her as she does have a goal of another stone by then (which I think is maybe too high). I feel bad for thinking she can't manage it may give up altogether, I feel like I'm not being supportive. I wanted others thoughts and advice as I'm not sure what I should be doing.
 
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S: 19st11.5lb C: 19st0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.2 Loss: 0st11.5lb(4.14%)
#2
I don't know what else to say apart from what a difficult position you are in. If she's got it into her head that that is what she wants to do I don't see that you can change it, hopefully it will work for her, if it doesn't at least she will have your shoulder to cry on. xx
 
#3
Oh that's a frustrating and uncomfortable position to be in. I think you can tell her all this once. Then it's up to her. If she goes ahead with her no syns plan, that's up to her. If she crashes and burns, let her. We have to learn from our own mistakes. The lesson sinks in better then. But be there to help pick up the pieces when it all falls apart, tell her gently what she might have done differently.
 
#4
That's awful for you, you are a good friend and you are doing what's best, being there for her but she is being overly harsh on herself and I can see why you are worried, try and see if you can talk to her, 2 or 3 lbs a week is fab!

day 1 - 15st 7lb joined sw online 9/3/11
 

Clareel

Gold Member
S: 16st8lb C: 13st4.6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st3.4lb(19.57%)
#5
My friend is doing this at the moment, I did try nicely suggesting to her that she should have her 5 syns a day at least (as it is 5-15 syns a day not 0-15!) but she just bit my head off and said I was jealous becasue I'm not losing as fast as her.

So i'm keeping my mouth shut for now and if she does end up falling off the wagon and needing my support, it will be there for her.
 
S: 18st6lb C: 15st7lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35 Loss: 2st13lb(15.89%)
#6
If you have zero syns for 40 days then you are not following the plan correctly surely.

I agree with Pootler. Your buddy is an adult and can make her own mistakes. If she is aware of what is requred of the plan and presses on regardless, there is not a lot you can do :(
 

Clareel

Gold Member
S: 16st8lb C: 13st4.6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st3.4lb(19.57%)
#7
If you have zero syns for 40 days then you are not following the plan correctly surely.

I agree with Pootler. Your buddy is an adult and can make her own mistakes. If she is aware of what is requred of the plan and presses on regardless, there is not a lot you can do :(
Agreed :)
 

Barsi

Full Member
S: 13st4lb C: 11st2lb G: 10st10lb Loss: 2st2lb(16.13%)
#8
SW recommend you have daily syns for a reason. The first few weeks of the plan I wasn't "syning" and I wasn't having massive losses (1/2lb a week) and that was down to not having any syns. If shes looking at bigger losses, I find having my syns helps.

Maybe that would be something to talk to her about? Or could you have a confidential word with your consultant about it? x
 
#9
The way i see it, is that u are completely right in what ur saying, and that you are saying it out of concern.....however we all have to learn from our own mistakes. Nothin you can say or do will change how your friend sees this diet and how she chooses to follow it....but u can be her friend and just be there for her regardless. (which im sure u are anyway xx) xx
 

ColJack

Gold Member
S: 33st5.5lb C: 19st11lb G: 16st9lb BMI: 33.7 Loss: 13st8.5lb(40.75%)
#10
it's up to her.. it may not help at all as has been said, or it might help loads.. only time will tell..
I have about 2 syns a day for gravy, andf it I could find a decent alternative I probably wouldn't have those, and I have had great losses when I stick to it..
the weekd I do have more syns ( which seems to have been since christmas ), I don't have "great" losses..
 

Crys

Full Member
S: 15st13lb C: 15st2.5lb G: 14st0lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st10.5lb(4.71%)
#12
I agree, she needs to make her own choices and mistakes.

I found last time that I lost more when I had 15 bang on a day, _and_ a sneaky takeaway/treats after weigh in on tues, but I wouldnt try it again!
 
#13
People don't listen they do it their way as is their prerogative. I have people ask me how on earth I do it (lose the weight) and wonder why they don't then it comes out that they have a chippy takeaway every week after weigh in and lots of other unaccounted for syns over the week etc
My mum in law who comes with me sometimes cuts down her food so that she can have alcohol even though there isn't any need with SW
I think most of us always want more looking at your fab losses over the last few weeks you haven't been happy with the smaller losses yourself ;)
Hopefully when she goes without the syns she will realise what she is missing before she does crash and burn and I think all you can do is be there for her whatever she decides to do :)
 
S: 19st11.5lb C: 19st0lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 38.2 Loss: 0st11.5lb(4.14%)
#14
My friend is doing this at the moment, I did try nicely suggesting to her that she should have her 5 syns a day at least (as it is 5-15 syns a day not 0-15!) but she just bit my head off and said I was jealous becasue I'm not losing as fast as her.

So i'm keeping my mouth shut for now and if she does end up falling off the wagon and needing my support, it will be there for her.
Um.....after the comment about the jealousy thing....dunno if I would be there, you're obviously a nicer person than me lol. xx
 

Clareel

Gold Member
S: 16st8lb C: 13st4.6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st3.4lb(19.57%)
#15
Um.....after the comment about the jealousy thing....dunno if I would be there, you're obviously a nicer person than me lol. xx
Haha I was a bit peeved to be fair. Whats more is my losses are a healthy 1-2lb per week so it's not like she even had a good point!
 


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