worst memory of being fat

[likealobster]

These are shocking stories.
I have so many and I feel I would be too embarrassed to write any now but seeing other people's honesty makes me feel motivated to stick at it!

 

[sav1990]

I blame my mother lol, the genes and the fact I was a size 10/12 all my life till I had my first child and she still told me quite often before I fell pregnant, I could do with losing weight because I was fat.(slap her with a wet fish)..lol.
Got several bad experiences but one of the worse ones was a few years ago my husband is 3 years younger then me not a massive age difference but looks wise he his fit, muscles in the right places and me well fatttttt...he had an asthma attack and was taken into hospital and the nurse referred to him as my son when she was giving me the update on his condition, I felt devastated.
xxx

 

[sleepybird]

I appreciate people posting the comments, makes me feel like im not on my own. Gawd bless us all!! x

 

[shrinking violet]

Two (admittedly far) thinner, yet utterly minging, charmless 'ladies' pointing out my (then) very obese state to the online world. I can (almost) laugh at it now

That is the politest way I can put it...

Those incidents irritated rather than hurt. I dunno, it wasn't like I didn't already know how large I was. It was just that those two people chose to use it as a stick to beat me with. Online.

 

[the true me]

1. Being 10 and weighed in class and my weight put on the chart in class. This was to show averages and how to graph numbers.
2. Having people lean out windows of cars screaming past and calling me names. Or throwing things.
3. Indenting foam chair seats on one sitting.

 

[emmie86]

Wow some of these stories are really quite heartbreaking there have been many times for me where people have made cruel comments about my weight. And I never understood why as no one is physically perfect not even super slim people. Well here are some of the most hurtful ones I have experienced.

I was so bullied in primary school for my weight that in year three I begged my parents to let me move. On my last day at the school before I left a boy who I thought was a friend sat next to me and said "maybe people would like you more if you lost weight". I was only 8 at the time.

when I was about 16 I was walking with a group of friends and my bf at the time all very.A group of lads followed us for about 15min chanting "Belly's gonna get you" I was so embarressed and no one even attempted to defend me because they knew if they did the lads might turn on them so just let me take it I actually wanted to die I was so embbarresed.

Again when I was about 14/15 me and a group of friends were playing on a field a girl I had grown up with and was part of our social group but that I didn't like very much was there and she was super skinny always had been and in front of the whole group she suddenly lifted her top up to show her stomach and said "I have no rolls of fat when I sit down how many do you have Emma you must have loads?" I was mortified. She later gained alot of weight when we were about 18 and now is alot bigger than me I Know it sounds mean but inside I was very happy about this fact. Since the weight gain the nasty person she was is gone and she is now incredibly sweet.

The most recent incident that caused me to cry was when I was on holiday last year in Tenerife. One night before we went out an ex friend of mine called her dad on skype but left it on speaker phone her dad a 55 yr old man was telling her about a family christening and told her that her cousin was massive. The friend replyed that was because she had just had a baby. Her dad then said yeah but she is really fat she looks like your friend Emma. The friend told him he was on speaker and all he did was laugh and say to tell me it was a joke! whitch he was only saying because I had heard what he said. Later when I told her how upset and disgusted I was with what her dad had said. She had the nerve to have a go at me telling me I was over reacting and that I was a bi*ch for having a go about her dad. I was so upset it ruined my whole holiday.

Strangly when I was about 16/17 and had half starved myself down to a size 12. The constant bullying about my weight in the past still affected me yeah I looked different on the outside and no one said anything mean anymore but inside I was still the fat girl whose confidence had been knocked out of her. Now I'm large again and was the biggest I'd ever been when I started CD but somehow I got my confidence back I cut out all the the bad people in my life who I thought were my friends but were really users or who never stuck up for me when I was bullied and without them I am happy and confident. However for me personally all the memorys still hurt no matter how long ago they happend. xxxxx

 

[likealobster]

Emmie86,
Your stories sound exactly like you have stolen them from me!

I to got bullied in primary school for being fat. It was really nasty at times, there was one time that loads of people were calling me a cow in the class and my teacher was there, some of the people were actually 'moo-ing' the teacher didn't say anything. The worst thing is that since then I have felt (and probably behaved) like a fat person but looking back at photos of me then, I wasn't

People just think they can shout/throw things at you, in the street, in school, on the bus etc...

I had a woman in the street come up to me from behind one night when I was out with friends, she grabbed some fat on my back and said some really nasty things, it was so aggressive. I truely felt violated that she could touch me like that and my friends didn't even say anything and they discouraged me from too.

In school people that would suddenly not be your friend dependant on who else was around.

I am going to have to stop becuase otherwise I'll be upset all day!

I agree that however much time passes it still really hurts remembering them. For me it is a really excellent tool for upsetting myself when I want it to be; I just think back to some of the terrible things people have said and done to me and how my 'friends' didn't stick up for me.
It makes me think that the bullies are right and why would my friends stick up for me because it is fine for people to do those things to me.

I know that the way I sometimes get treated has made my life difficult in so much as I don't like myself and find it difficult find worth in me but it has also made me a better person, I would actively try to never let anyone around me feel isolated or victimised.
It has strangly made me feel more confident than I think I would have been to stand up for others and made me more perceptive to how other people are feeling. I just need to learn to extend this understanding to myself!

I sound like such a loser now I am reading this back! :ashamed0005:

 

[melissa85]

hi nade,

youre not a loser, weve all experienced some sort of bullying but it makes us stronger, i know this sounds easier said than done but dont let the past haunt you in the present, yeah remembering the past can be a great motivational tool but please everyone dont let it upset you, its old news we arnt kids anymore we have minds of our own these sad, sad bullys have confidence issues thats why they pick on people less fortunate than them, easy targets.

my bf in school used to get bullied cos she had a scar on her chin and her parents were poor she use to get called cheesy chin, i would always stick up for her cos i was a true friend thats what true friends do.

concentrate on the future and what you would like to be doing in 6 months time, if people still get comments for being on the larger side just keep your head held high.

we are all winners xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[emmie86]

Hi Nade I think that the fact that our stories are so similar goes to show how universal bullying because of your weight can be. Your not a loser at all because your better then the bullies. I do have a very funny fat story though:

I was in Sainsburys with my best friend an her Aunt who is very large herself and we bumped into an old school friend of the the aunt weather it was because of where the old friend carried her weight or the type of dress she was wearing but the aunt thought she was pregnant and asked when her old friend was due the friend laughed and said "no I'm just fat" and the Aunt flustered shrieked "me too" and they both burst out laughing lol xxxx

 

[ennaoj2204]

I guess we all have similar stories, I mean would any of us really be doing such a drastic diet if we hadnt been subject to abuse or made to feel bad about ourselves - I suspect many of us would not mind being a bit over weight if we did not have such pressure on us to conform to what the media portray as being "attractive".
I remember once reading an article about a survey done on young school children, they were all shown pictures of other children of every race, nationality and religion etc and asked which ones they would want to be friends with. Not one wanted to be friends with the fat kid!
Those horrible comments though give us armour and strength through the tough times - I prefer to look at it as character building! If i didnt I think I would take to my bed, hide under a duvet and never come out.
It so great to have our own little on line community where we all support each other! I know i certainly appreciate it

 

[emmie86]

It so great to have our own little on line community where we all support each other! I know i certainly appreciate it

It really is great. Just the otherday I uploaded an album of what my body looks after a month on CD and took the pics in my undies to better show how my body was changing. Before this site I wouldn't even show friends pics of me in a bathing suit but I feel so safe within this community I know no one will judge my body or be cruel about it so I didn't think twice of feel embaressed about uploading the photos. xxxx

 

[sav1990]

It really is great. Just the otherday I uploaded an album of what my body looks after a month on CD and took the pics in my undies to better show how my body was changing. Before this site I wouldn't even show friends pics of me in a bathing suit but I feel so safe within this community I know no one will judge my body or be cruel about it so I didn't think twice of feel embaressed about uploading the photos. xxxx

True same here I feel safe here
I wouldn't dare put any of my now pics on facebook willnot update anythere till final product (lol) is finished.
xxx

 

[letmeout]

Okay- I'll share my worst one with all you brave peeps to show my solidarity! I couldn't do the seat belt up on the plane coming home & the skinny smug hostess made a big deal of passing me the discreetly bright red extension belt.
Swallow me up !!

 

[emmie86]

Totally agree Sav there will be no more pics of me on Facebook until the my goal has been reached lol. Thats a horrible story Letmeout the silly hostess should consider herself lucky you didn't hit her with the seatbelt xxx

 

[Purple Hugs]

((Hugs)) to you all!
Well said about the community here it really is fantastic.

I too haven't posted any new pics of me on Facebook. I have one of me around January but the back of me only.. and the rest .. well they'll wait till I'm slim!
I must admit I found a former friend on there who has had the battles I Have with weight.. she looked AMAZING and I told her so.. only for her to update her picture from one taken on a weekend away.. I felt awful as she's obviously lost a lot of weight and put it back on again...

 

[letmeout]

Ah Emmie I was that embarrassed I was beside myself- went PURPLE in the face and couldn't get my breath. Law=it was awful. Funny thing is that I had no problem whatsoever fitting in on tyhe way out-and it was only 2 days before!

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Lol! I'm not putting any pics at all on facebook cos my boyf doesn't know I'm doing this diet yet, I'm trying to keep it secret until I've lost all the weight & I see him in the flesh.. he might guess by then (from skype convos) I'm thinking as I'll have lost 5 stone, but then you know how observant males are as a rule!
But you're right about the undies thing, I plan on posting all my pics in my undies up when done!

 

[emmie86]

males are rubish at observing anything other then the football scores I had my hair highlighted for about six years and was completly blonde and before xmas I decided to go back to my natural colour whitch is dark brown my friend a male spent two whole days with me I I'd last seen him a month before dying it brown and he didn't notice at all until his girlfriend met up with us and commented on the difference of my hair and even the then he just stared at me closely and then asked "why? have you had it cut?"lol anyway Purple Butterfly I'm sure your bf will be more observant and notice the 5st loss. My dad has even notice mine and I've only got rid of 19lbs he met me from the train station and said he didn't regconise me walking to the car as I looked "less wide and didn't waddle" honestly the man is classed as obease himself and talks like he is Tinkerbell I really would love to see what he see's when he looks in the mirror lol xxxx

 

[MrsR2004]

OMG, I literally have a few tears rolling down my face from reading everyones stories :gen126: so heartbreaking x

I am so embarrassed generally about my weight and myself that I avoid situations as much as I can, anything that I think might end up being embarrassing which in itself is very sad, I realise I am missing out on life by doing this :cry:

For this reason I haven't "heard" alot of bad things although I am sure they have been said. One recent thing happened though in a tesco line where 2 teenagers said "if you could do anyone in this shop who would you choose?" to which one replied and pointed at me and his mate said "what even though she is fat!" - I was mortified as others must have heard and angry as I don't know why they thought I would even look at them twice! Clearly fat people are not as worthy in their opinions.

My father in law made a few comments over the years, saying i USED to have nice legs and have put on a bit of weight - thanks for stating the obvious! Now, i would never point out he had put on weight, was greyer and ruder, it's just not nice.

I grew up with poor body image and can associate with others who thought they were fat at size 10/12, this is where my binge/diet cycle started, my mum was always on a diet (but was slim!) and my dad was in the army and very to the point. So am determined not to pass on bad family habits to my child and any future children, my son has an extremely healthy diet

I am so embarrassed when I see friends of my hubby as think they must think 'poor bloke' or 'his wife is so fat' and avoid seeing his work colleagues!!! My husband is not bothered at all, he loves me and thinks i'm gorgeous but mostly just wants me to be happy.

It's for all these reasons that I want to succeed with cd and get down to a respectable weight where I feel at least comfortable in my own skin, if not great!

My son is a big inspiration to me and could not bare for him to be picked on at school for having a fat mum, he started nursery in January (he's 3) so desperately want to change things before he starts big school.

So sad that it takes these kinds of stories to get us to take action but it does work, not to do it for those horrible people but to prove self worth to ourselves.

Keep up the good work everyone xxxx

 

[meglovesfashion]

Reading through everyones comments it just makes you think, people really don't think before they speak or even care about they say any more!! They don't know what situation someone is in, they could have just had children, have a medical condition etc so just being big isn't always down to eating and people don't see it that way!

I put on a lot of my weight after leaving school through the pill but I used to think I was very fat at 11st as I was comparing myself to others in my year. I haven't grown much taller since then so I was around 5ft 7/8 back then and realise now that I was actually at a healthy bmi!
It's strange how people have said that if they were an obese child they still see themselves as big even when they've lost the weight, because I was actually a skinny child up until i was 10 and my hormones kicked in, when I have looked in the mirror I didn't think I was too big but then I'd look at photos and I'd look huge! Being a pear my bottom half has gradually become so out of proportion with my top half so I needed to finally do something about it!!

honestly the man is classed as obease himself and talks like he is Tinkerbell I really would love to see what he see's when he looks in the mirror lol xxxx

Oh I know what thats like.... my grandparents are so incredibly critical of peoples weight even though my granddad must be over 20st, he used to be much much bigger but has lost weight due to a heart condition (he's a step-granddad so none of his issues run through the family) but my nan has always been perfect weight because she weighs herself everyday to make sure she never puts on weight!
Although I love them very much, I haven't seen them since the summer because of their incessant comments on my weight, even though I am still only 19! All of my aunts have developed weight issues and are now in the obese category, I put this down to them unfortunately making them eat every little scrap off the table as a child has given them an unhealthy relationship with food. They also nag me about weight too so it's passing down the generations unfortunately. I would never talk to a niece or granddaughter the way they have to me. My mum even developed bulimia as a child and was incredibly thin, but now she has medical problems which have caused her to gain a lot of weight and the family are very rude to her about it.
So although others can make hurtful comments in the street, it's honestly the people closer to home that can do the most damage to you!