You don't have to put up with abuse...

[Chunky_Monkey]

I need to thank you.
I have lived in fear that if i get my sporty gear on and take the dog out for a quick paced walk, people will look at me as a fatty trying to be thinny and I would get a few looks and comments.
I had it engraved in my head that people would twitch the curtains and stare in amazement of a fat person doing exercise....
But today, I got the courage to go out alone on a long walk with the dog. I felt amazing and didnt get a single look, comment or stare.

I kept in my mind, as I was tying the lace on my dusty trainers, that if someone said something, I will stop, get my phone out and call the police. And the reason I thought this, was because of you so thank you thank you so so much x x x

 

[happypear]

Well done, you really did the right thing. You do have the right to walk down the street free from harassment and the landlord of the pub has a responsibility to ensure that their clientele aren't behaving in an intimidating way to people in the local area.

I'm tall, have short, sticky up bleached blonde hair and suppose I look a bit "different" and of course I'm no skinny minny so I do get the occasional comment.... some chavvy waste of space bloke was like "Uhhhh look at you, lesbian". I was like, "With those stunning detective skills I'm amazed that you can't find yourself a job". I just think, how dare someone like that, who contributes absolutely nothing productive to society, pass comment on me? If I could repeatedly wallop them around the head without being arrested, I'd happily do it. I know it might be "stooping to their level" or whatever but these people need to learn that if they pick on enough people, they will eventually pick on the wrong person.

In the absence of being legally allowed to smack people, I always have a selection of comebacks prepared, you never know when you might need them .

 

[Flutterby3]

Hi all,

Not sure if this is in the right section but I wanted to share my story, of what happened to me this week, so hopefully you know that you should never have to put up with being abused in public or otherwise because of your weight.

Last week I was walking home in the evening and en-route I walked past a local pub. I was actually on the opposite side of the road. But there was a group of men standing outside and one of them shouted over, 'oh my God, look at that, - hey you salad dodger.' All the other men laughed. I carried on, but when I got home my heart was pounding from both rage and shame.

I'm a UK dress size 20 by the way.

I calmed down and shrugged it off.

Today, just before lunch, I walked past the same pub and the same group of men were standing outside. Two ladies who were quite slim were walking in front of me. One of the men said to the ladies, 'hello, girls,' and the rest of the men smiled and laughed. Then I walked past and the same guy said, 'Oh god, look at that, wobbling past,' All the guys laughed.

They were all in their late 40-50's by the way. Not that it makes much difference, but they weren't teens or anything. They should have known better.

Because I'm no pushover and because they did it in front of others, I turned around and snapped back - I have to admit I did shout an obscenity, which I will not repeat here. But you can imagine. :sigh:

I then went to meet my Grandmother for coffee, but I was so incensed I couldn't relax. I tried to phone the landlord of the pub because this was the second time this had happened in less than 7 days. But I had no response - so I did what not many people do when they are called names in public - I went to the police. And believe it or not they took it very seriously.

They told me that it is every person's right to walk freely in a public place without harassment and they even took a statement. They said my weight was no excuse for someone to belittle me in public and that would actually be sending officers to the pub to speak with the owner, as well as get the licencee people to pay him a visit regarding how his patrons dealt with themselves outside his pub.

Now obviously you may think I was over reacting, but the police were very happy to deal with my complaint and they said they wished more people would step forward when they feel harassed by others. Basically this incident now has a police report and if any other incidents occur they will be added onto this report.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for many years I worked in an arena where my size was celebrated, so I have never been heckled in public or other wise about my weight. But I was bullied when younger because of my ethnicity, so I know how much name-calling can cut deep. It can leave unseen scars for many years.

I'm now losing weight for health reasons and because deep down I do not want to get into a position where I cannot be as physically active. That said, If I chose to stay this size or get bigger I should not have to be subjected to verbal harassment in broad daylight/or night from grown men.

The interesting thing was that the police asked me if they thought the verbal attack was racial and I said no. They said, well if it's racial there is a lot more they can do. It's funny that verbal attacks regarding weight are not seen as the same as a racial attack. Just something to ponder...

Anyway, I want you to know, if you don't already, that bullying is bullying. If you get it at work - report it to your supervisors. If you get it in public - report it to the police (especially if it happens more than once in a certain place or by the same people.) Do not put up with other people's complexes.

No matter what your size - you're a beautiful human being who deserves to walk anywhere and work in peace, without verbal insults about what you look like.

xxx

Not an over-reaction at all! You're an inspiration!x

 

[V-Girl]

I need to thank you.
I have lived in fear that if i get my sporty gear on and take the dog out for a quick paced walk, people will look at me as a fatty trying to be thinny and I would get a few looks and comments.
I had it engraved in my head that people would twitch the curtains and stare in amazement of a fat person doing exercise....
But today, I got the courage to go out alone on a long walk with the dog. I felt amazing and didnt get a single look, comment or stare.

I kept in my mind, as I was tying the lace on my dusty trainers, that if someone said something, I will stop, get my phone out and call the police. And the reason I thought this, was because of you so thank you thank you so so much x x x

Thank you, but it's you, you need to thank. You've got your courage there and you're using it. I may have just been a messenger for you to find it. We sometimes forget our own inner strength, but when we find it, it's like a whole new person. Pat yourself on the back! You rock!!! xxx

 

[V-Girl]

Well done, you really did the right thing. You do have the right to walk down the street free from harassment and the landlord of the pub has a responsibility to ensure that their clientele aren't behaving in an intimidating way to people in the local area.

I'm tall, have short, sticky up bleached blonde hair and suppose I look a bit "different" and of course I'm no skinny minny so I do get the occasional comment.... some chavvy waste of space bloke was like "Uhhhh look at you, lesbian". I was like, "With those stunning detective skills I'm amazed that you can't find yourself a job". I just think, how dare someone like that, who contributes absolutely nothing productive to society, pass comment on me? If I could repeatedly wallop them around the head without being arrested, I'd happily do it. I know it might be "stooping to their level" or whatever but these people need to learn that if they pick on enough people, they will eventually pick on the wrong person.

In the absence of being legally allowed to smack people, I always have a selection of comebacks prepared, you never know when you might need them .

HA! Comebacks are great non-violent tools. I loved yours. Excellent!! xx