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You don't look like a runner!


Silver Member
I'm a couple of stone overweight at the moment and constantly battling with combining doing a training programme for the Great North Run (I'm now at week 7 of the equivalent of the C25K and have found the thread on here really inspiring) with dieting.

I'm also Poet in Residence for the Great North Run (Bupa Great North Run Culture explains more) and before I started a friend said "You're not built for running". I also remembered a couple of glances of surprise I'd had from people when I said I was going to do the run (a sort of "But you're two stone overweight" look I think) and it all came together into this poem "You don't Look like a runner" which I thought may strike a chord with some of you...

You Don't Look Like A Runner

You? You couldn't run for a bus
or to the end of our street.
You haven't got the right shoes,
You haven't got the right feet,

You make Jabba the Hutt look graceful,
You just weren't Born to Run,
You couldn't pace set for a snail,
You're more funeral than fun.

You're more gradual than evolution,
Slower than a three toed sloth's brain,
You suffer more delays than
A GNER train.

You are...well you're hefty,
You've got wobbly bits and breasts
And bingo wings and lumps
That weren't designed for vests.

Your only experience of half a Marathon,
Is scoffing a renamed chocolate bar,
If you could you'd get to your kitchen
By driving there in your car.

I reply with all the numbers,
The pounds that I will lose
The pounds that I will make
The calories I will use.

The 50 000 other runners,
The 30 years of history,
The 21 water stations,
The millions raised for charity.

But I don't have to be a mathematician either,
And reach for numbers ever bigger,
To show the impressive shrinkage
In my sweating or my figure.

I don't have to be an athlete,
I don't have to make like Zola Budd,
I don't have to beat a record
In order to feel good.

I just want to feel connected,
To be part of something more,
To train my body and my mind
To reach something they've never reached before.

I still won't look like a runner,
And a runner won't look like me
But when I've done my 13 miles
A Great North Runner is what I'll be.
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Silver Member
well done, thats fab and great inspiration to all those who might be put off running by the stereotype

Good luck xx
Ah the power of poetry! nice one, and good luck with your run - i think i will take my wobbly bits out for a run too now! :D

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