You know what?It's really easy to diet when

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by polishrose, 20 March 2007 Social URL.

  1. polishrose

    polishrose Gold Member

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    you have a broken heart :( My boyfriend told me a week ago he doesn't want to be with me anymore :( I didn't eat for 3 days and since then have had trouble forcing down the packs. I am heartbroken. He is still living here-everyone says I should kick him out but I am still hoping he will change his mind. I asked him to remove the ring from my finger that he bought me if he didn't love me anymore and he refused so I suppose I'm holding onto a little bit of hope.Probably just being stupid but I love him so much :(
     
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  3. LoodyLoo80

    LoodyLoo80 Full Member

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    Oh bless you sweetie.

    I know how you feel.....nearly three weeks ago I split up with a long term boyfriend and have not heard from him since. I moped around for several days...but have now seen all the positives to this and I am actually enjoying the single life.

    You need to be strong, and realise that you deserve to be with someone who loves and cares for you very much. I am now beginning to see this.

    Not sure how else I can help...but I really do feel for you. You won't always feel like this I promise....even three weeks down the road I am feeling so much better.

    Is it wise him still living with you? It may make it even harder for you to move on. Did he give you any reasons for him not wanting to be with you?

    I know what's it's like to love someone so much and defend them until the end....even though deep down you know they're no good for you. I also know the feeling of clingling on until the very end.

    Wish I could help you more....but I am here for you if you need me x x
     
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  4. polishrose

    polishrose Gold Member

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    Yes he gave me reasons and it's all my fault so that makes me feel even worse.It's probably not wise him being here but I can't help hoping he will change his mind :(
     
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  5. LoodyLoo80

    LoodyLoo80 Full Member

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    I'm sure it's not all your fault, I bet you're a wonderful person.

    Try not to be too down on yourself....I've realised I am better than my ex and can do so much better, but in the meantime I am taking time out for myself and starting to look after myself.....hence the diet.

    I know nothing I can say can make you feel better, but please try and think and about you and what is best for you.

    As one door closes, another one opens x x
     
    Last edited: 20 March 2007
  6. MrsWobble

    MrsWobble Full Member

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    Oh hunny you sound sooooo sad - :hug99:

    Try not to be too down on yourself. It takes two people to make a relationship and two to break it! It's terrible when it falls apart but you still feel so much love and it's even harder when you are still living together - I've been there too and it's not just really hard emotionally but it's stressful and awkward too.

    You need to talk things through as calmly as you can and if the issues are not fixable then you need to get him out. It's like a wound won't heal otherwise.

    It is better in the long run to let go of a relationship that's failing than to tough it out and let it erode your spirit.

    Hope things improve soon - and well done for not comfort eating.
     
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  7. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    It is very easy to criticize and find fault...


    Does he have any solution seeing how he has put his finger on what has gone wrong.?

    If he could change things what would they be?

    Sometimes things seem broken and beyond repair but if two adults are willing to work things out together then there is some hope.

    From my own experience of life nothing is ever one persons fault in a relationship as it does take two to make it work from day one.

    Saying it is all your fault sounds like what a child would say to its parent.

    And unfortunately some adult children will always blame others for what goes wrong in their lives and are never able to take responsibility for their share of the blame.

    Men especially I find like to turn their wives/partners into their mothers...

    Once this happens they then go looking for another women to fill the girl friend/mistress role.

    If you are doing his washing, cooking and in general looking after him, then I guess why would he want to leave...

    He can have the best of both worlds.

    Breaking up is never easy regardless of how it ends as it does force you out of your comfort zone and all of us like to stay in our comfort zone.

    I think if someone broke my heart I would not want to be around them...so I would take a guess that he does not really mean you broke his heart..but more like you hurt his feelings.

    Sadly now he has hurt you with his words and remember he has watched you suffer for over a week because of what he has said...so even if you get back together will you be able to forgive him for this hurt he has caused you:confused: as women in general have long memories...



    Love Mini xxx
     
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  8. wannabslim

    wannabslim Gold Member

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    Hey hunny, I'm so sorry to hear you are having problems. Nothing I can say will make it better so I will just send you a big :grouphugg: and wish you happiness.

    Love Nxxx
     
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  9. SARAHP

    SARAHP Silver Member

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    :grouphugg: Same from me, dont know what to say other than were all here for you and hope you get sorted soon. Sarahxx.
     
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  10. DEvans

    DEvans Full Member

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    Hey PolishRose,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your break Mini and the others are right though, it does take two in any relationship so stop blaming yourself entirely. Its even harder to get over it if he's living there. I hope the both of you can sit down and work out an amicable solution.

    You can only grow from this so stay strong.
    ((((((BIG HUGS))))))

    Davica
     
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  11. polishrose

    polishrose Gold Member

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    Unfortunately it IS all my fault as I was acting like a right cow before I had my ovarian cyst op.Of course the doc told me after the op that I would notice a change because the cysts produce hormones that make you feel like you have PMT all the time. I have told him that but he says it's just an excuse.I think this could be fixable cos I know what I did wrong but I don't think he wants to take the risk of fixing it :( I feel so much calmer i myself now after the op-I look back at the person I was then and cringe.I don't recognise my behaviour-that wasn't the real me :( But it's too late.
     
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  12. MrsWobble

    MrsWobble Full Member

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    Far be it from me to criticise him, relationships are complex enough with a stranger shoving their oar in, but if he can't understnd the difficult circumstances then perhaps he doesn't deserve you?

    It isn't your fault if he isn't tolerant of a medical condition and it isn't your fault that your hormones were all over the place.

    Hope you work it out
     
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  13. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    How will he find a woman who is not at the mercy of her hormones at sometime in her life:confused:

    I think all relationships have to have give and take and put up at times with problems that do and will happen...for better or worse...on both sides as men can be pretty moody as well:rolleyes:

    Perfection does not exist.

    But a little bit of patience and understanding goes a long way.

    You had an operation and because of it your hormones were all over the place...how can he blame you for something that you were not in control of:confused: :mad: :sigh:


    Sounds like you have been through a rough old time of it yourself and perhaps you can take all of this love you had for him and give it to yourself.

    :hug99:


    Love Mini xxx
     
  14. polishrose

    polishrose Gold Member

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    I talked to him a little bit today before he went to work and asked if he had noticed that I hadn't even shouted at the kids for 3 days whereas before I would have been shouting every day and usually more than once.He said he had noticed.I said I was still waiting for the answer to my question of a few days ago (ie if he loved me or not) and he smiled and said "There's plenty of time to talk about that". So I am more confused than ever I think.If he didn't love me wouldn't he just say so?He hugged me before he went to work and kissed me twice (on the cheek).If I didn't want to be with someone I wouldn't be doing that.
     
  15. MrsWobble

    MrsWobble Full Member

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    Well who knows hun - maybe he was just having a bad day before? Maybe he was 'hormonal' too!

    Only you will know the right thing to do - maybe a little time will help work things out just don't take the burden of it on yourself.
     
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  16. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    I think you can still love a person but not be 'in love' with them anymore...

    Obviously you need to sit down and talk about your future, he does owe you the truth of where he stands as regards you being in his life as he is still in your home.

    Love Mini xxx
     
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