Your opinion would be gratefully appreciated please :)
- Thread starter miss_unknown
- Start date
ChellyWellyBoot
I will be skinny again!!!
its unanimous (sorry if thats spelt wrong)
Your friend is a stuck up cow and shes wrong and your right
lol
Your friend is a stuck up cow and shes wrong and your right
lol
catssseyes
Team 1 all the way!
Blimey! If what she says is true, then I better apply for a 60k loan!
We're getting married in Orlando, and 18 family & friends are coming. They are all paying their own way- it's a major family holiday now!
Whoever it is is god damn rude. Ignore, and enjoy your wedding without them!
We're getting married in Orlando, and 18 family & friends are coming. They are all paying their own way- it's a major family holiday now!
Whoever it is is god damn rude. Ignore, and enjoy your wedding without them!
hope70
Full Member
I'm with everyone else, cheeky! I have been to weddings in America and South Africa. At the one in SA I even took part of the service and was part of the wedding party. I would not have dreamed of expecting hte bride and groom to pay anything. They have enough expenses. I had a choice to go and it was a honour to be invited and share their day with them.
All I can say is enjoy your day and try not to let them get you down.x
Marriage is great!!!
All I can say is enjoy your day and try not to let them get you down.x
Marriage is great!!!
matronix
Full Member
is it a cultural thing
Hi
You mentioned that your OH is originally from pakistan. If i'm correct the brides family are expected to pay for the inlaws clothes, accommodation and buy gifts etc. This may not be whom your referring to and I may be way off the mark. Good luck hopew it works out ok.
Hi
You mentioned that your OH is originally from pakistan. If i'm correct the brides family are expected to pay for the inlaws clothes, accommodation and buy gifts etc. This may not be whom your referring to and I may be way off the mark. Good luck hopew it works out ok.
miss_unknown
Banned
Thanks everyone for the huge response, this is a small update on what happened regarding it and sorry to not answer everyone individual I am just really annoyed at the moment as i can't believe these people!!
Well after reading all your responses I am glad to say that I wasn't wrong into thinking everyone should pay for their own way! So after chatting to the OH as he is the one that is very upset about it as it was a member of his family that wanted us to pay for everything for them I thought it was best to ring them again cause I honestly thought someone was playing a joke on us. So I contacted them and explained that I didnt want to upset anybody or offend anyone but I honestly didnt know of this tradition and none of the OH's family has either especially something this crazy so in the end I agreed to pay for their accomodation and to let me know their program for when they were coming over and when they wanted to go back, his cousin said he wanted to stay 3 days which meant 3 day car hire for £75, 3 days at the hotel that we were holding the wedding which is €300 per night for the 3 of them, I know it really broke into our budget but we didnt want them to be upset so we were happy to go along with it. In the meantime his wife sent me a text saying that we totally disregarded them as family members and weren't happy that we were paying for the whole costs so I rang her again 1hr ago where I stated no matter what culture she is from, this is not mine and none of my parents is paying for the wedding as I am currently keeping them finacially myself as well. The OH and myself are splitting the cost of the wedding between us which in this day and age is normal. So she started having a fit and saying that they should be thought of as more than what we would wipe our feet on which I was taken back, she then continued to say that she was very disappointed with both of us and that they wont be attending the wedding due to their principles. She then finished to say "dont think we are offended as its not like that but due to the fact that we are treated in the way we have been we just can't come". She then continued to add, " we would love you both to come to our home after the wedding, show pictures of our day blah blah blah" which to be honest totally rattled my cage and I told her and her husband that we would not be going back to their house again due to the childish treatment that we received from them this evening. A wedding is about everyone coming along and sending the wishes to the bride and groom and offering their support. They also threw up alot of nasty things to my OH who have done nothing in the past only help them out, give them money. I could seriously understand if these people were poor but her husband bought a brand new ferrari last year and owns 3 indian restuarants around London and one in Birmingham. When we go out to a meal with them anytime we end up with the bill so this is the last straw!! Obviously they are family members to the fella and he is more than welcome to see them if he wants but I swear to god I never want to see them again, I am just really angry. The only people that we have agreed to pay for is the fella's mum and my mum and dad and brother who are currently out in Austrailia at the moment.
Ok rant over, sorry yas had to listen to that but again thanks for all of your responses!!
Well after reading all your responses I am glad to say that I wasn't wrong into thinking everyone should pay for their own way! So after chatting to the OH as he is the one that is very upset about it as it was a member of his family that wanted us to pay for everything for them I thought it was best to ring them again cause I honestly thought someone was playing a joke on us. So I contacted them and explained that I didnt want to upset anybody or offend anyone but I honestly didnt know of this tradition and none of the OH's family has either especially something this crazy so in the end I agreed to pay for their accomodation and to let me know their program for when they were coming over and when they wanted to go back, his cousin said he wanted to stay 3 days which meant 3 day car hire for £75, 3 days at the hotel that we were holding the wedding which is €300 per night for the 3 of them, I know it really broke into our budget but we didnt want them to be upset so we were happy to go along with it. In the meantime his wife sent me a text saying that we totally disregarded them as family members and weren't happy that we were paying for the whole costs so I rang her again 1hr ago where I stated no matter what culture she is from, this is not mine and none of my parents is paying for the wedding as I am currently keeping them finacially myself as well. The OH and myself are splitting the cost of the wedding between us which in this day and age is normal. So she started having a fit and saying that they should be thought of as more than what we would wipe our feet on which I was taken back, she then continued to say that she was very disappointed with both of us and that they wont be attending the wedding due to their principles. She then finished to say "dont think we are offended as its not like that but due to the fact that we are treated in the way we have been we just can't come". She then continued to add, " we would love you both to come to our home after the wedding, show pictures of our day blah blah blah" which to be honest totally rattled my cage and I told her and her husband that we would not be going back to their house again due to the childish treatment that we received from them this evening. A wedding is about everyone coming along and sending the wishes to the bride and groom and offering their support. They also threw up alot of nasty things to my OH who have done nothing in the past only help them out, give them money. I could seriously understand if these people were poor but her husband bought a brand new ferrari last year and owns 3 indian restuarants around London and one in Birmingham. When we go out to a meal with them anytime we end up with the bill so this is the last straw!! Obviously they are family members to the fella and he is more than welcome to see them if he wants but I swear to god I never want to see them again, I am just really angry. The only people that we have agreed to pay for is the fella's mum and my mum and dad and brother who are currently out in Austrailia at the moment.
Ok rant over, sorry yas had to listen to that but again thanks for all of your responses!!
ChellyWellyBoot
I will be skinny again!!!
OMG!!
They sound like those ****ing rich people who horde all their money!!
Thats really annoyed me, she sounds like a stuck up tart...
Not coming because of the way they have been treated
Tell them to pump off and that your glad they arent coming to the wedding!!
and if they suddenly change their mind that they do want to come dont be offering that again that you are going to pay for the hotel etc...
Tell them they can sleep in a tent in your back garden!!
Sorry But that angered me too
They sound like those ****ing rich people who horde all their money!!
Thats really annoyed me, she sounds like a stuck up tart...
Not coming because of the way they have been treated
Tell them to pump off and that your glad they arent coming to the wedding!!
and if they suddenly change their mind that they do want to come dont be offering that again that you are going to pay for the hotel etc...
Tell them they can sleep in a tent in your back garden!!
Sorry But that angered me too
miss_unknown
Banned
Yea miserds comes to mind, I actually feel very ashamed that this asked this kinda thing in the first place and they have no remorse whatsoever and I have asked alot of people including yourselves as obviously different cultures has different ways of doing things at weddings but none has ever heard off this!! We both feel disappointed that they are not making the effort themselves but there ya go, they are not worth the air ya breathe!!
IslandBreeze
Castaway
What a rude reaction to your very generous offer - they're not worth it, don't let them get to you. It's your day, enjoy it and do it your way. x
what a bunch of......!!!!
well i'll tell you for a start it is not a culture thing! if it is I certainly have not heard of it! Well good job theyre not coming to the wedding, they certainly arent worth the space they would have occupied. it was generous of you to offer and they should have felt ashamed...
well i'll tell you for a start it is not a culture thing! if it is I certainly have not heard of it! Well good job theyre not coming to the wedding, they certainly arent worth the space they would have occupied. it was generous of you to offer and they should have felt ashamed...
miss_unknown
Banned
Yea we thought it was sort of like giving half way and the flights would have been another 200 pounds but they didnt want to pay. Feeling much better today about it though.
They rang the OH again this morning saying he should look after his elders as its his duty and it was his fault that their relationship has broken down. I felt like saying F them but didnt bother.
dietingqueen
Gold Member
lol i did read this yesterday but didnt have time to reply....
I went to a wedding in Brighton.... we obv paid our own way down there.... and decided to stay at the nearest travelodge, cos we just needed to sleep one night.... there were 10 families from Yorkshire and we had planned to pay for it.... but the brides family pre paid the rooms.... lol however we never asked for it or expected it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats teh difference x
I went to a wedding in Brighton.... we obv paid our own way down there.... and decided to stay at the nearest travelodge, cos we just needed to sleep one night.... there were 10 families from Yorkshire and we had planned to pay for it.... but the brides family pre paid the rooms.... lol however we never asked for it or expected it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats teh difference x
ChellyWellyBoot
I will be skinny again!!!
Omg they are obviously gonna keep phoning until use give in and pay for it all!!
Its soooo obvious what their plan is!!
Tell them to shove it u their bums and change your phone number!! lol
Its soooo obvious what their plan is!!
Tell them to shove it u their bums and change your phone number!! lol
miss_unknown
Banned
If we had our wedding in England then we would have done the same as your friend did but hotels and accomodation are more expensive in Ireland than England and these people weren't happy staying in a bed and breakfast (45 euro for the night) they wanted to stay in the hotel that the wedding was in, dearest hotel apart from "The Jurys" (and I have forgot another one in dublin) in Ireland and that was the cheapest room that we were getting them. Our room is €780 euro for each night but as we are only going to do this once we don't mind going a bit extravagent on our own expenses plus we have got the penthouse suite with jacuzzi and a roof terrace pool and not forgetting the four poster bed. We just wanted something special and our friends and family to be with us and share the happiness of our day and not have a bad cloud surrounding us as there is now as these people are upset about it. OH's mum even had a word with them and they weren't backing down at all said the same thing to her, at the end of the day its their loss cause its something that I personally wouldn't forget in a hurry. When their daughter got married in Dubai, we had to pay our own tickets, hotel accomodation and food as well and they never even bothered to offer anything not that we would accept as we believe in paying our own way for everything. Then they have the cheek to say that to us both, they should be ashamed of themselves for being so selfish. We are all for paying for our elders but there has to be a limit of how much we have to spend to and we did say that we would keep to immediate family only. We have paid for OH's brother and sister (and her family) to come from America, his mum from pakistan. My brother (god willing if he is well enough to make it) and my parents as well to come from Austrailia also the three bridesmaids who are coming from dubai, america and england also my other brother who lives in the south of ireland and we have paid for their trip, accomodation and food. So far we have already paid around 10,000 pounds with the price of everything so we both think we have done enough and with the way the country is at the moment money doesnt grow on trees. This is not including the extra wedding costs of the meal, our room etc etc. Naturally we would like everyone to come who is invited but not with a heavy heart.
Sorry for another rant but this has really annoyed us both to the point of frustration!! We just feel like eloping...lmao
they are being ridiculous! there are many ways your OH can respect his elders... paying their way for everything isnt the way. infact that should have been their way of showing that they appreciate his respect so far. if they are so bothered about respect then they definitely need to learn to GIVE respect to others!
IslandBreeze
Castaway
Oh this just gets worse. I can't believe that you had to pay to attend their daughter's wedding but they expect you to pay for them to come to yours!!!! How hypocritical. Forget them love. I hope the rest of his family is nicer than this - please please tell me they're not typical of your in-laws-to-be!
IrishLaura
Silver Member
You know what, I have just sat and read your last post, I think what you have paid/ are paying for other people is ridiculious!!! Since when did the bride and groom pay for travel arrangements for ANY guest?? Ok it might be good manners, but if you are getting married and invite people, you pay for their meal, entertainment etc not the rest, if they are coming to your wedding let them pay, this is 2009 after all, and as for the respect issue, when did money ever buy real respect???
Forget all of it, the only people that matter are you and your OH, if you let this go on, on your wedding day you will be running round buy them drinks, wiping their chin, and dare I say wiping their bums!!
This is your big day, the only cost should be the ones you want to make, and if its extravagance you want doves, fireworks, balloons etc are better than paying for where some selfish ignornant people are going to put their heads down!
Sorry if thats a bit harsh :sigh:
Forget all of it, the only people that matter are you and your OH, if you let this go on, on your wedding day you will be running round buy them drinks, wiping their chin, and dare I say wiping their bums!!
This is your big day, the only cost should be the ones you want to make, and if its extravagance you want doves, fireworks, balloons etc are better than paying for where some selfish ignornant people are going to put their heads down!
Sorry if thats a bit harsh :sigh:
miss_unknown
Banned
Not harsh at all hun!! Tell ya what though if I had have known as much as i do now before I booked this wedding at home I would have blooming eloped to the other side of the world and had a few immediate family instead as it would have saved alot of hassle and less upset over it!! The whole thing has just put extra stress on us as the OH is upset and wants to pay for their demands but they again have refused as we didnt do it at the start, so b*ll*x to them!
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