Zap your inner perfectionist.

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Littleslimmingbee, 1 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    I'v been re-reading over my slimmingworld magazine ( the latest one ) and have come across this perticular article. I did read this, but skimmed over it thinking it not relevant to me- Ha, could that be my inner perfectionist refusing help?

    anyways, i wondered whether this article spoke to anyone else as loudly as it did me. After really reading it, i identified many of the point within myself.

    This is quite a long post, but i thought i'd highlight the bits that spoke to me most, for those of you who are yet to read the article or dont have access to a magazine. It'l be interesting to see what you all think.

    - Think grey, not black and white
    ' At the end of each day, do you find yourself rating what you've eaten as good or bad? You could be falling into a black and white thinking trap. Also known as all-or nothing thinking, it's a favourite way for the perfectionists to judge themselves and is based on polar oposies, such as right and wrong'
    '' You're a black and white thinking if you feel a complete failer because you ate some chocolates or crisps and that what the hell effect takes over and you go off track for the whole day''

    :eek: This is most deffinatly me.

    If your life is full of 'shoulds' and things you feel you must do rather than want to do, such as keeping your house immaculate, always helping out at school or ironing everything including underwear? 'if your someone with unhelpful perfectionism, you'l tend to judge your self-worth on what you do not what you are'
    'people find that when they are under alot of pressure from saying 'i should' eg. i 'should' be a size 12, I 'should' only have a salad for lunch, i 'should' go to the gym atleast three times a week they often feel anxious or stressed as a result.

    Simply change the way you phrase things. Instead of 'I should exercise three times a week' think 'i'd like to start going out for a walk at lunch time' replacing should' with 'i'd like to' acknowledges that its okay if you dont, feeling less under pressure may make you more likley to achieve your goals.


    -Set realistic goals-
    When perfectionists set their mind to achieving somthing, they want to see results fast. A very strict eating programme is virtually impossible to maintain long term so its better to accept that a slower weightloss will actually bring more success. 'loosing 1-2lb per week is a healthy rate of weight loss long term'
    Every week is different so expecting to lose the same amount of weight each week is setting yourself up to fail. Look ahead and see what you have coming. If youv got plenty of time to plan and cook ahead then you could set a 2lb weight loss goal, but if you have meals and social events coming up a 1lb goal may be more realisitic.


    -Ask for help-
    Perfectionists tend to judge themselves by standards they wouldnt dream of applying to other people. They can be very self critical and feel guilty if they have a week and they suspect they have gained weight or havn't lost anything and feel like not turning up to group.
    Make it your priority to go to group each eek, even when you think you'v gained. ' perfectionists often have a fear of failure and this is often based on negative predictions they make about a situation in which they feel under pressure to preform, so they avoid it all together by not going to class. Missing out on the support and encouragment image therapy offers and you wont be well equiped for a fresh week.


    -Stop comparing yourself-
    Its hard to avoid pictures of superskinny celebrities and expecting to look like that is setting yourself up for failure too. comparing yourself with unrealistic role models measns youl never feel good about what you'v achieved.

    Choose positive role models, whats the point in comparing yourself to someone of a different age and lifestyle to your own.




    xxxx
     
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  3. louisedan

    louisedan Gold Member

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    i felt the same. It helped me with that gain cos the old scales were wonky.Cant believe so many people read the post and didn't bother to reply though.
     
  4. Mummoth

    Mummoth Silver Member

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    It makes a lot of sense.

    I had counselling once & the counsellor told me of the dangers of setting yourself up to fail. Thinking along the lines of 'if I lose x amount a week I will be xx stone by whenever' is an example. I still do it, but I know if I have the odd week where I STS, or even gain, it can throw me off balance to the extent where I pig out for the next 10 days. So now I try to think along the lines of 'it would be nice to lose x amount & I'm going to try to etc etc'. Doesn't always work but it does take the pressure off a bit.
     
  5. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    Yes I am a perfectionist, with OCD but with help from a therapist to be more flexiable and kinder to myself also helps. I focus on good things and learnt the art of flex syns which helps re-gain that control that a lot of perfectionists love!
     
  6. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    i am totally a black and white person.....although i would like to be a pink thinking person!!! the world is better pink :) xxx
     
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