♥ Nicki's ♥ Diary - I've been here the whole time, the whooooooooooooooooole time!
- Thread starter .Nicki.
- Start date
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
:needhug: Well that didn't take long, already majorly off the wagon :break_diet: Last night i was just so fed up with being in pain, my back hurt, my side hurt, i couldn't get comfy and even though i no i couldn't be pregnant because i haven't ovulated, i was really upset with a neg pregnancy test. But the dr told me to do one before the blood tests. I made Steve go out and get me chocolate buttons and crisps at 10pm last night 
Today i was at work and have just eaten crap all day, even had a macdonalds 
It was lush but didn't make me feel any better. Still in pain, been bleeding for 22 days and now i feel guilty for ruining a pretty good week.
Ok so tomorrow i'm getting back on track, i've decided that planning meals a week in advance never works because by the end of the week i've mix and matched so much i never have much left :sign0007: So i'm going to do it on a day by day basis. Should help a little, also need to ban steve from buying me junk and taking me to macdonalds when i ask. Bless him i no he doesn't want to but he can see when i'm miserable so doesn't argue in case a yell at him :giggle:Think we're going swimming tomorrow night, if i feel upto it. I'm hoping because its only a little pool and its adults only on a sunday night, it should be quiet :cross:think if i can just go once and get over my fear, i'll be ok. Wonder if i'll remember how to swim, it has been about 15years, might just sink like a stone :ashamed0005:
ok plan for tomorrow
Breakie - coco pops/milk/sugar- 5
Lunch- ww quiche/coleslaw/cucumber/HB eggs -10.5
Tea- ready meal - 8 ish (depends which one i choose)
Snacks - yogurts/ww biscuits/babybels/apples
total - 31
Going to try and save as many points till the evening as thats when i tend to need them the most. Hope everyones having a good weekend
Today i was at work and have just eaten crap all day, even had a macdonalds It was lush but didn't make me feel any better. Still in pain, been bleeding for 22 days and now i feel guilty for ruining a pretty good week. Ok so tomorrow i'm getting back on track, i've decided that planning meals a week in advance never works because by the end of the week i've mix and matched so much i never have much left :sign0007: So i'm going to do it on a day by day basis. Should help a little, also need to ban steve from buying me junk and taking me to macdonalds when i ask. Bless him i no he doesn't want to but he can see when i'm miserable so doesn't argue in case a yell at him :giggle:Think we're going swimming tomorrow night, if i feel upto it. I'm hoping because its only a little pool and its adults only on a sunday night, it should be quiet :cross:think if i can just go once and get over my fear, i'll be ok. Wonder if i'll remember how to swim, it has been about 15years, might just sink like a stone :ashamed0005:
ok plan for tomorrow
Breakie - coco pops/milk/sugar- 5
Lunch- ww quiche/coleslaw/cucumber/HB eggs -10.5
Tea- ready meal - 8 ish (depends which one i choose)
Snacks - yogurts/ww biscuits/babybels/apples
total - 31
Going to try and save as many points till the evening as thats when i tend to need them the most. Hope everyones having a good weekend
blackwidow
Gold Member
aww sorry to hear you're struggling Nicki. Just start again tomorrow and forget today and yesterday. The swimming will help you feel better.. or even just a light walk with your man around where you live - anything is better than nothing, and the adrenaline does lift your mood, even if the weather is rubbish haha 
xx
xx
Kater-tater
Gold Member
Sorry to hear you are feeling crappy, really hope you feel better soon.
Just a tip, if you like quiche and can get to morrisons they do crustless Eatsmart ones that just have a pastry base, they are alot bigger than the ww ones where they have less pastry and they are less points in some cases. I think they are gorgeous, and i just have mine hot form the oven with salad. Just a little tip to save a few points so you can have extra treats when you are feeling low.
Good luck sweetheart x
Just a tip, if you like quiche and can get to morrisons they do crustless Eatsmart ones that just have a pastry base, they are alot bigger than the ww ones where they have less pastry and they are less points in some cases. I think they are gorgeous, and i just have mine hot form the oven with salad. Just a little tip to save a few points so you can have extra treats when you are feeling low.
Good luck sweetheart x
Mumma K
Gold Member
Aww bless you Nicki, just take it one day at a time
these things happen draw a line under the blow out
and start again a fresh the next day, you can do it sugar
and have fun at the swimming pool tonight, my hubby always says theres no way i'd sink to the bottom with me built in water wings lol
these things happen draw a line under the blow out
and start again a fresh the next day, you can do it sugar
and have fun at the swimming pool tonight, my hubby always says theres no way i'd sink to the bottom with me built in water wings lol
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Well i never made it swimming :sigh: Hubby didn't want to go, he bought chinese instead :slap: I only had chicken chow mein and i had a load of points left so i think i should be fine. Didn't go to work today, woke up last night in agony, now i've never been in labour but some gas and air wouldn't have gone a miss! So went for my blood tests this morning, Dr said he'd call if it was anything serious, if no calls get the results thursday i'm expecting them to say nothing, which means ultrasounds and camara's where camaras shouldn't go, and months of waiting. Thought i'd be waiting 3 -4 hours for the blood test but it was quiet and was only about 30 mins. Steve had his fillings while i was at the hospital and he was all dopey when he picked me up, so cute.
So today i'm going to try and be good but lets face it, i'm full of excuses at the moment, don't feel in the right frame of mind to diet but if i give up completely i know i'll put on another stone or 2, at least if i'm doing it, if only half heartedly, i'm still eating less then i would (not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it seems logical in my head)
So today i'm going to try and be good but lets face it, i'm full of excuses at the moment, don't feel in the right frame of mind to diet but if i give up completely i know i'll put on another stone or 2, at least if i'm doing it, if only half heartedly, i'm still eating less then i would (not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it seems logical in my head
)
Kater-tater
Gold Member
I think thats a brilliant plan lovely, trying half heartedly is better than not trying at all and once you are feeling better (which i hope is soon) you will be happy you limited the damage.
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Ok so i'm feeling better, still getting the odd niggle of pain but its not as bad. I distracted myself with online food shopping last night, Decided to try Tesco as we usually go to asda. Got totally different stuff, so hopefully it'll help me stay on track. I even got low fat, mild cheese - YUMMY! I got a load of ww stuff and found a £10 off voucher which helped with the total.
I couldn't sleep last night and was thinking alot, So if you don't want to be bored by a distracted womens ramblings, STOP READING NOW
As much as i don't feel it and as much as i don't want to accept it, i am still young, young enough to have a baby in a few years and still be young. If the result is pcos then the main treatment is weightloss, which i'll never acheive if my heart is set on falling pregnant every month.
Its hard to admit but maybe i'm being selfish, although Steve wants a baby, he hasn't had alot of choice on the matter. Mainly because i didn't have alot of choice on the wedding. I don't no if there is stuff he wants to do before he's a father, he wants to see me happy but i don't no what will do that yet. Sadly it all boils down to weight, if i were a size 14, then yes we could plod along happily ttc but i'm not, i'm a size 30, i can barely get off the sofa, i can't walk to the car without needing my inhaler, even if my body coped with pregnancy, would i cope after? probably not, in all honesty. But i already feel like i'm waiting for life to start, when really it started over 5 years ago, when i met him. This is all pretty easy for me to explain today, for the first time in months i have a clear head and i can get my thoughts out, but tomorrow or maybe next week, this will all be forgotten and i'll be in tears at a friend being pregnant, feeling it should be me, or yelling at my fertility monitor because it won't show a peak.
I need to lose weight and i want to lose weight, I want to get a puppy, I want to move home (which will let me have a dog), i want to accidently fall pregnant and it be a wonderful surprise. It seems to me that if we got the house, i could get the puppy, that would help me lose weight, so i could have the baby. But i told Steve i wouldn't talk about moving for a year or so, so i really don't no what to do for the best.
I couldn't sleep last night and was thinking alot, So if you don't want to be bored by a distracted womens ramblings, STOP READING NOW
As much as i don't feel it and as much as i don't want to accept it, i am still young, young enough to have a baby in a few years and still be young. If the result is pcos then the main treatment is weightloss, which i'll never acheive if my heart is set on falling pregnant every month.
Its hard to admit but maybe i'm being selfish, although Steve wants a baby, he hasn't had alot of choice on the matter. Mainly because i didn't have alot of choice on the wedding. I don't no if there is stuff he wants to do before he's a father, he wants to see me happy but i don't no what will do that yet. Sadly it all boils down to weight, if i were a size 14, then yes we could plod along happily ttc but i'm not, i'm a size 30, i can barely get off the sofa, i can't walk to the car without needing my inhaler, even if my body coped with pregnancy, would i cope after? probably not, in all honesty. But i already feel like i'm waiting for life to start, when really it started over 5 years ago, when i met him. This is all pretty easy for me to explain today, for the first time in months i have a clear head and i can get my thoughts out, but tomorrow or maybe next week, this will all be forgotten and i'll be in tears at a friend being pregnant, feeling it should be me, or yelling at my fertility monitor because it won't show a peak.
I need to lose weight and i want to lose weight, I want to get a puppy, I want to move home (which will let me have a dog), i want to accidently fall pregnant and it be a wonderful surprise. It seems to me that if we got the house, i could get the puppy, that would help me lose weight, so i could have the baby. But i told Steve i wouldn't talk about moving for a year or so, so i really don't no what to do for the best.
DopeyAngel
Sweet wrapper fetishist.
Sorry you seem to be feeling so down hun.
Well done on getting yourself some healthy food in - it sounds as though you're on the right track to making all areas of your life better already since weight loss is a major goal for you. Taking small steps towards your goals is always much better than just letting them upset you. At least you know you are doing something about them now.
Hope your day gets a little bit better, sending you positive vibes:vibes:
Well done on getting yourself some healthy food in - it sounds as though you're on the right track to making all areas of your life better already since weight loss is a major goal for you. Taking small steps towards your goals is always much better than just letting them upset you. At least you know you are doing something about them now.
Hope your day gets a little bit better, sending you positive vibes:vibes:
Mumma K
Gold Member
These are all normal feeling hun, you have to take things one step at a time sorting out the weight problem is the first thing to do
but I know its hard when you want something so much
My mother-in-law was told she would never have kids and went on to adopt my OH and his adopted sister then suddenly at the age of 43 wham she was pregnant just like that then went on to have two children of her own, you never know what life has mapped out for hun you just have to do whats best for you in the here and the now.
but I know its hard when you want something so much
My mother-in-law was told she would never have kids and went on to adopt my OH and his adopted sister then suddenly at the age of 43 wham she was pregnant just like that then went on to have two children of her own, you never know what life has mapped out for hun you just have to do whats best for you in the here and the now.
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
I'm back in the zone arty0048: hopefully for a little while!
Thanks for listening (reading) me moan, I'm feeling sooooooo much better this afternoon, the fridge is full of healthy stuff (i even have salad i'm going to try it, not sure what with though) I have lots of ww snacks, cakes and goodies, just to help with the evening munchies, which is where i usually slip. :happy036:
I bought a big bum seat saddle for my bike, it was my birthday present last year (may) and i've never used it, because the saddle hurt alot! So i no i won't be able to do much but if i could make it round the block, it would be a step in the right direction. :character00115:
I'm going to have a chat with Steve about bits and bobs and try and sort out whats going on, not sure how he'll take it, probably with quite agreement as usually, sounds good but gets annoying pretty quick
arty0048: hopefully for a little while!Thanks for listening (reading) me moan, I'm feeling sooooooo much better this afternoon, the fridge is full of healthy stuff (i even have salad
i'm going to try it, not sure what with though) I have lots of ww snacks, cakes and goodies, just to help with the evening munchies, which is where i usually slip. :happy036:I bought a big bum seat saddle for my bike, it was my birthday present last year (may) and i've never used it, because the saddle hurt alot! So i no i won't be able to do much but if i could make it round the block, it would be a step in the right direction. :character00115:
I'm going to have a chat with Steve about bits and bobs and try and sort out whats going on, not sure how he'll take it, probably with quite agreement as usually, sounds good but gets annoying pretty quick
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Well back on track today, had my first bagel - cinnimon and raisan - omg it was divine. Not sure what to do with the plain ones, ideas welcome.
My saddle came today, If i can sit on it, i'm going to get steve to take me to halfords to get a helmet.
Oh and despite my naughtiness over the last few days i lost 1/2lb, so not so bad!
My saddle came today, If i can sit on it, i'm going to get steve to take me to halfords to get a helmet.
Oh and despite my naughtiness over the last few days i lost 1/2lb, so not so bad!
DopeyAngel
Sweet wrapper fetishist.
Well done on the loss - definitely back in the zone. Excellent stuff getiing your bike sorted - cycling is an amazing calorie burner so you will be getting loads healthier in no time. Glad to hear you feeling a bit more 'perky'
charly.71
In the 10s at last!
Well done on the loss nicki always nice when you wernt expecting it.
As for the bagels do you like extra light philadelpha cos thats a classic one to put that on with ham or cherry tomatoes.
Salmon is an idea too but i dont like it!
I used to toast mine for brekkie & have poached egg & marmite on.
Good luck with the bike riding! good idea to get a comfy saddle,last time we went to center parcs (where everything includes bikes) i could hardly sit down my bum hurt that much!
x
As for the bagels do you like extra light philadelpha cos thats a classic one to put that on with ham or cherry tomatoes.
Salmon is an idea too but i dont like it!
I used to toast mine for brekkie & have poached egg & marmite on.
Good luck with the bike riding! good idea to get a comfy saddle,last time we went to center parcs (where everything includes bikes) i could hardly sit down my bum hurt that much!
x
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Whoop, whoop 100% today. Thanks for the bagel tips, charly, thats lunch tomorrow.
Breakfast
cinnamon and raisin bagel with anchor light - 4.5
yogurt - 1
banana - 1
Lunch
pasta thing with croutons - 5
tea
ww quiche - 5.5
coleslaw -1.5
ham - 1.5
Cucumber - 0
babybel - 2
Snacks
Crumpets and jam -2.5
lollies - 1
ww crisps - 1
Cake - 2.5
Total - 29
Banked - 2
Back to work tomorrow and back to the doctors for the results. So tomorrow is going to be a tricky one!
Breakfast
cinnamon and raisin bagel with anchor light - 4.5
yogurt - 1
banana - 1
Lunch
pasta thing with croutons - 5
tea
ww quiche - 5.5
coleslaw -1.5
ham - 1.5
Cucumber - 0
babybel - 2
Snacks
Crumpets and jam -2.5
lollies - 1
ww crisps - 1
Cake - 2.5
Total - 29
Banked - 2
Back to work tomorrow and back to the doctors for the results. So tomorrow is going to be a tricky one!
Hiya Nicki
This is my 2nd attempt to reply my 1st was longgggggggggggg :cry:and I crashed
I just wanted to say I have PCOS I tried 8 years for my 1st daughter 18 months for my 2nd and 10 DAYS lol for my third so you never know
Ill keep my fingers crossed if you want to know anything let me know
Depression yes I have a battle with that and I know how hard that cycle of depressive eating goes BUT remember how great you felt when you saw the scales drop that 5lbs imagion by xmas how much we can drop ,I am so like you and we live just over the water from each other,you can do this and well done for trying hard ((hugs)) xx
This is my 2nd attempt to reply my 1st was longgggggggggggg :cry:and I crashed
I just wanted to say I have PCOS I tried 8 years for my 1st daughter 18 months for my 2nd and 10 DAYS lol for my third so you never know
Ill keep my fingers crossed if you want to know anything let me know
Depression yes I have a battle with that and I know how hard that cycle of depressive eating goes BUT remember how great you felt when you saw the scales drop that 5lbs imagion by xmas how much we can drop ,I am so like you and we live just over the water from each other,you can do this and well done for trying hard ((hugs)) xx
.Nicki.
Minimin Addict
Well went to the doctors yesterday and the b****y results weren't in. So i have to go back next friday for results and a rather uncomfy proceadure, which i may just cancel. To be honest the more i think about it the more i might actually burst into tears.
Diet wise, think i went over yesterday, still had 20points left at 6pm and we had KFC so probably can claw it back if i'm good the rest of the week. Supposed to be going out tonight but not sure if i'm in the mood anymore, she's cancelled it once today already so Steve cancelled his plans to stay in with me, now its back on and she's gonna throw another strop if i don't go but steve has changed his plans, not sure how i can please everyone at one. If i do i'm just drinking diet coke, not sure theres any other 0 point drinks.
Diet wise, think i went over yesterday, still had 20points left at 6pm and we had KFC so probably can claw it back if i'm good the rest of the week. Supposed to be going out tonight but not sure if i'm in the mood anymore, she's cancelled it once today already so Steve cancelled his plans to stay in with me, now its back on and she's gonna throw another strop if i don't go but steve has changed his plans, not sure how i can please everyone at one. If i do i'm just drinking diet coke, not sure theres any other 0 point drinks.
