2013 the year to lose 100lbs+, 19lbs gone exactly 100lbs to go :D
- Thread starter madmuppet
- Start date
mybodyisacage
Silver Member
I really hope youre okay, I know you are having a seriously hard time of it atm. Really hope things work out for you hun, you are so brave and strong, I have no doubt you'll keep doing what your doing while youre getting along XXXXXX
Hi all hope your all doing great and shifting the weight 
I've had a week from hell and it is clearly showing on the scales 17st 6lb today a total loss of 10lbs any other time i would be screaming from the roof tops but im not happy with myself, there is no point in doing a food diary as there is bugger all to put down and please dont anyone try and tell me i need to eat as i do know and i am honestly trying to it's just that everything i do try i end up being sick that and all the stress at the moment is doing me no favours what so ever Im off to the docs tomorrow to try and get something so i can atleast sleep as then perhaps i will have more energy to eat and maybe my stomach will let me. In no way did i want to lose weight like this but im trying everything i can to slow it down.
Love to all and thanks for the messages it means a lot xxx
I've had a week from hell and it is clearly showing on the scales 17st 6lb today a total loss of 10lbs any other time i would be screaming from the roof tops but im not happy with myself, there is no point in doing a food diary as there is bugger all to put down
and please dont anyone try and tell me i need to eat as i do know and i am honestly trying to it's just that everything i do try i end up being sick that and all the stress at the moment is doing me no favours what so ever Im off to the docs tomorrow to try and get something so i can atleast sleep as then perhaps i will have more energy to eat and maybe my stomach will let me. In no way did i want to lose weight like this but im trying everything i can to slow it down.Love to all and thanks for the messages it means a lot xxx
sapphirestara
Gold Member
Hi all hope your all doing great and shifting the weight
I've had a week from hell and it is clearly showing on the scales 17st 6lb today a total loss of 10lbs any other time i would be screaming from the roof tops but im not happy with myself, there is no point in doing a food diary as there is bugger all to put down
Love to all and thanks for the messages it means a lot xxx
Wish I was 17st6
Do what you've got I do babe. Sod the diet. Keep you and your family alright. Thinking of you all. Xxxxx
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mybodyisacage
Silver Member
Yup like everyone said. Get through it any way you know how. Sending you lots of love and hugs. We're all thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxx
mybodyisacage
Silver Member
Well done Mad Muppet! I bet you are so pleased with that! a very good loss! x
Well it seems like a age since I posted a proper post so apologys in advance for what could be a slight ramble
So where to begin hmmm the past 3 weeks have been hell and as of yet Im not sure what the future holds. Hubby as you know was in hospital for 2 weeks after being in a place where no one could help In those 2 weeks I survived on cigerettes and water and hope. I didnt intentionally not eat, the first few days I sat at my hubbys bedside not daring to leave him for fear he wouldnt be there when I got back. After this is was transferred to a different hospital which would only allow visits for 3 hours in the evening, I found myself in a place that hurt beyond belief and couldnt function my boys stayed with my parents so that i knew they were safe and away from the sights of seeing me emotionally unstable, I managed to pick them up for the school runs and spend a little time with them in the afternoons but that was as much as i could manage before leaving and just falling apart. I wanted to be there for them to protect them from everything but felt so helpless I knew it was for the best not to have them home properly. Every evening after visiting my hubby I would have to pull over to be sick, food was a complete no go....Oh I tried believe me but everytime after a few mouthfuls I couldnt keep it down the stress was unbelievable. My hubby came home a week ago and on the day I was due to pick him up I realised I couldnt cope with him being here I wanted my boys home and for myself to get the help needed to overcome the past couple of weeks. Unfortunatly my hubby is very good at fooling people it's how he got out of hospital and orthough I tried to discuss it with the doctors they didnt seem to want to know and told me just to see how things go! This is fine but surely they should have spoke to me first and looked into if it was even alright if he came home let alone ask me how I was coping with things. Thats the good old NHS for you utter pants no support for me what so ever. Obviously things between hubby and me are strained beyond belief He is wanting everything to go back to "normal" and is acting like nothing happened, going to the inpatients everyday because he has to not because he wants to. While Im struggling to even live in the same house as him, all my trust I had in him has vanished and I cant just pretend the last few weeks havent happened. Im on edge constantly second guessing everything he says and does whilst keeping a eye on his meds and everything else, the boys have been home for the last few days and they are happy that he is back and none the wiser for the real reason he was in hospital. I feel like Im trapped yet again now dont get me wrong I love my hubby dearly but I just dont know how to move pass this event, how to put it out of my mind and move on, how to trust that what he is telling me is true and not just covering up how he really feels. He can see what hes done to me and cant fix it with a hug or words and its just horrible, I dont want to make him feel any worst then he already does but I also cant keep on putting all the pressure on myself keeping everything in. He needs to face up to his actions and the impact that they have had on those around him but how we do this I just dont know yet.
This week I have struggled to get back to some sort of routine food wise but it just isnt happening the last 2 days Ive really wanted to binge like i would of done in the past to get myself though this but this is just making me angry that I was doing so well before and now Im battling with myself not to just give up and feel worthless again.
I know that on monday I will see a gain just because i have eaten this week and the last few days I have binged on chocolate fudge brownies as well as other crap, but I have it in my head thaqt no matter what monday will be the day to put it all behind me to get my game head screwed back firmly in place. I need to do a food shop then aswell so atleast i will have healthy food in to munch on and I also want to get back into the shred dvd I was doing so well on that and I need it even more now to sort out my belly.
Feelings on how Im looking hmmm I was feeling ok until everyone keeps commenting on how much weight Ive lost again this makes me angry I was doing so well before all this but it takes this to happen for everyone to notice it and then they go on about I need to eat Ive lost to much jeez its not like Im super skinny all of a sudden lol.
On a positive note to end though I ordered some jeans from the yours sale during the week as they were a bargain and i thought I would get a couple of pairs in a size 16 to put in the wardrobe ready for when I needed them, My size 18s that i only brought a couple of weeks ago have already got loose. So anyway they came today and they fit like a glove am so so happy and amazed It actually made me feel better about myself and gave me that little bit of hope that I can get back on track monday and continue with this journey.
Well I think I have rambled enough and probably could have wrote alot less but hey ho it's down now lol.
Hope everyone is doing amazingly and hgeres to monday and getting my head back in order to deal with this weight much love to you all xxxx
So where to begin hmmm the past 3 weeks have been hell and as of yet Im not sure what the future holds. Hubby as you know was in hospital for 2 weeks after being in a place where no one could help
In those 2 weeks I survived on cigerettes and water and hope. I didnt intentionally not eat, the first few days I sat at my hubbys bedside not daring to leave him for fear he wouldnt be there when I got back. After this is was transferred to a different hospital which would only allow visits for 3 hours in the evening, I found myself in a place that hurt beyond belief and couldnt function my boys stayed with my parents so that i knew they were safe and away from the sights of seeing me emotionally unstable, I managed to pick them up for the school runs and spend a little time with them in the afternoons but that was as much as i could manage before leaving and just falling apart. I wanted to be there for them to protect them from everything but felt so helpless I knew it was for the best not to have them home properly. Every evening after visiting my hubby I would have to pull over to be sick, food was a complete no go....Oh I tried believe me but everytime after a few mouthfuls I couldnt keep it down the stress was unbelievable. My hubby came home a week ago and on the day I was due to pick him up I realised I couldnt cope with him being here I wanted my boys home and for myself to get the help needed to overcome the past couple of weeks. Unfortunatly my hubby is very good at fooling people it's how he got out of hospital and orthough I tried to discuss it with the doctors they didnt seem to want to know and told me just to see how things go! This is fine but surely they should have spoke to me first and looked into if it was even alright if he came home let alone ask me how I was coping with things. Thats the good old NHS for you utter pants no support for me what so ever. Obviously things between hubby and me are strained beyond belief He is wanting everything to go back to "normal" and is acting like nothing happened, going to the inpatients everyday because he has to not because he wants to. While Im struggling to even live in the same house as him, all my trust I had in him has vanished and I cant just pretend the last few weeks havent happened. Im on edge constantly second guessing everything he says and does whilst keeping a eye on his meds and everything else, the boys have been home for the last few days and they are happy that he is back and none the wiser for the real reason he was in hospital. I feel like Im trapped yet again now dont get me wrong I love my hubby dearly but I just dont know how to move pass this event, how to put it out of my mind and move on, how to trust that what he is telling me is true and not just covering up how he really feels. He can see what hes done to me and cant fix it with a hug or words and its just horrible, I dont want to make him feel any worst then he already does but I also cant keep on putting all the pressure on myself keeping everything in. He needs to face up to his actions and the impact that they have had on those around him but how we do this I just dont know yet.This week I have struggled to get back to some sort of routine food wise but it just isnt happening the last 2 days Ive really wanted to binge like i would of done in the past to get myself though this but this is just making me angry that I was doing so well before and now Im battling with myself not to just give up and feel worthless again.
I know that on monday I will see a gain just because i have eaten this week and the last few days I have binged on chocolate fudge brownies as well as other crap, but I have it in my head thaqt no matter what monday will be the day to put it all behind me to get my game head screwed back firmly in place. I need to do a food shop then aswell so atleast i will have healthy food in to munch on and I also want to get back into the shred dvd I was doing so well on that and I need it even more now to sort out my belly.
Feelings on how Im looking hmmm I was feeling ok until everyone keeps commenting on how much weight Ive lost again this makes me angry I was doing so well before all this but it takes this to happen for everyone to notice it and then they go on about I need to eat Ive lost to much jeez its not like Im super skinny all of a sudden lol.
On a positive note to end though I ordered some jeans from the yours sale during the week as they were a bargain and i thought I would get a couple of pairs in a size 16 to put in the wardrobe ready for when I needed them, My size 18s that i only brought a couple of weeks ago have already got loose. So anyway they came today and they fit like a glove am so so happy and amazed
It actually made me feel better about myself and gave me that little bit of hope that I can get back on track monday and continue with this journey.Well I think I have rambled enough and probably could have wrote alot less but hey ho it's down now lol.
Hope everyone is doing amazingly and hgeres to monday and getting my head back in order to deal with this weight
much love to you all xxxx
skinnylegs
Silver Member
I have no idea how it feels to go through what you're going through at the moment so I'm sending massive hugs and this is the place to rant and rave. X
sapphirestara
Gold Member
You are just amazing! Did u know that? Xx
Thank you hun, this site is awesome
xxAww thanks hun I wish I felt it at the mo
xxWell I weighed in late today well into the afternoon but was genuinely surprised Ive lost another 1lb am chuffed with that not a gain like I was expecting
It has given me the willpower to pull myself together as far as the weight loss goes.
I went shopping today and stocked up on lots of nice things for stir frys and also treated the boys to lots of yummy things for their lunch boxes I think they were starting to wish they were back at my mums lol they did get spoilt a bit
Food diary for today
Lots of water
1 mullerlight yogurt
12 mini seeded breadsticks with hummous
and for tea Im going to have a stir fry lots of yummy veg and things with some chicken thrown in
Now I know this isnt alot and I should be having more but right now if I can start eating 3 times a day however small it is it's got to be better then the last few weeks. I am going to try harder each day and add more into it but Im pleased that I have actually done this hopefully by the end of the week my food diary will be looking better
Thanks everyone your all stars and it feels good to be back on here xxx
It has given me the willpower to pull myself together as far as the weight loss goes.
I went shopping today and stocked up on lots of nice things for stir frys and also treated the boys to lots of yummy things for their lunch boxes I think they were starting to wish they were back at my mums lol they did get spoilt a bit
Food diary for today
Lots of water
1 mullerlight yogurt
12 mini seeded breadsticks with hummous
and for tea Im going to have a stir fry lots of yummy veg and things with some chicken thrown in
Now I know this isnt alot and I should be having more but right now if I can start eating 3 times a day however small it is it's got to be better then the last few weeks. I am going to try harder each day and add more into it but Im pleased that I have actually done this hopefully by the end of the week my food diary will be looking better
Thanks everyone your all stars
and it feels good to be back on here xxx
mybodyisacage
Silver Member
Sounds like youve been having a really difficult time, I really hope things pick up for you. You are doing amazing regardless and I am glad you think you'll be back a little more now.
We all have so much support to offer each other. Well done on the loss hun.
xxxx
We all have so much support to offer each other. Well done on the loss hun.
xxxx
Hmmm so the week started great but is ending pants
Tuesday food diary
Muller yogurt
stir fry
Wednesday
Yogurt
bag of mini eggs
some biscuits
Thursday food diary
Tub of cottage cheese
1 orange penguin bar
stir fry veg
4 ryvitas with philly
So the last couple of days have been ok sort of, spoke to OH's caseworker and got alot of my chest and told her a lot about what had been going on with hubby these last few days, basically he will be discharged to the community health people the end of next week I understand why but it is so frustrating, They cant help him anymore then what they are doing now unless he starts to talk to them about things, instead of laughing and joking about everything, its like hitting my head against a brick wall. She also said that all he seemed concerned about this week was me and how im not dealing with everything very well. I suppose this is a slight good thing he said to go away for a few days and see me best mate and relax away from it all and he will be fine etc. I sooooooo desperatley do need to get away from everything ?Im just worried sick that i cant go and still keep a eye on him.
I am going to give the hospital a phone tomorrow and inform them that Im not going to be about so that they can do there random drop ins and phonecalls and I suppose I cant be around all of the time so what will be will be.
I am heading of to hampshire in the morning till sunday night and i do beleive that i will be consuming vast amounts of alcohol while im there so mondays weigh in could be fun lol
Anyhow Im off to watch some mundane crap on the tele and hope that it will eventually make me sleep probably around bloody 5ish.
Hope you are all doing well and i'll see you all monday morning for the drink binge weigh in xxx
Tuesday food diary
Muller yogurt
stir fry
Wednesday
Yogurt
bag of mini eggs
some biscuits
Thursday food diary
Tub of cottage cheese
1 orange penguin bar
stir fry veg
4 ryvitas with philly
So the last couple of days have been ok sort of, spoke to OH's caseworker and got alot of my chest and told her a lot about what had been going on with hubby these last few days, basically he will be discharged to the community health people the end of next week
I understand why but it is so frustrating, They cant help him anymore then what they are doing now unless he starts to talk to them about things, instead of laughing and joking about everything, its like hitting my head against a brick wall. She also said that all he seemed concerned about this week was me and how im not dealing with everything very well. I suppose this is a slight good thing he said to go away for a few days and see me best mate and relax away from it all and he will be fine etc. I sooooooo desperatley do need to get away from everything ?Im just worried sick that i cant go and still keep a eye on him. I am going to give the hospital a phone tomorrow and inform them that Im not going to be about so that they can do there random drop ins and phonecalls and I suppose I cant be around all of the time so what will be will be.
I am heading of to hampshire in the morning till sunday night and i do beleive that i will be consuming vast amounts of alcohol while im there so mondays weigh in could be fun lol
Anyhow Im off to watch some mundane crap on the tele and hope that it will eventually make me sleep probably around bloody 5ish.
Hope you are all doing well and i'll see you all monday morning for the drink binge weigh in
xxx
sapphirestara
Gold Member
Where in Hampshire! I'll wave!! As will Laura!
mybodyisacage
Silver Member
Hope you had a nice weekend and let your hair down. Fingers crossed for tmrws weigh in XXXX
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. You've not said (that I can see) what is wrong with hubby, but I have an idea - could be wrong, but just in case, wanted you to know you'll never be along, not on here any way.
Just wanted to say......
And well done keeping it all together, you're so very strong xxx
Just wanted to say......
And well done keeping it all together, you're so very strong xxx
sapphirestara
Gold Member
Hey sweetie, how's it going? Xxx
