2020 - a new year, a new decade, the same me (just hopefully slimmer!)


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I have been fat my entire life. I have had issues with food my entire life. I've dieted on and off for most of my adult life. 2019 was an absolutely horrendous year for me and my husband.

We tried to become foster carers/parents and at the last minute social services said we could only do respite care as we didn't have enough childcare experience.

I got an infertility diagnosis.

My husband got an infertility diagnosis.

Despite that, I conceived. But only found out when I was miscarrying.

Then got our hopes up that the infertility diagnosis was wrong, but the reason I miscarried was due to our fertility issues, and if I were to conceive I'd more than likely miscarry again.

That all happened in the first 5 months of 2019. I spent the entire year comfort eating (and crying).

We've always wanted to adopt anyway, if anything husband has always been more eager to adopt than have biological children. So we're hoping to start the process this year, but I'm terrified of another No. We were told no to foster. My body said no to biological children (twice!). My husband's body said no to biological children. I can't take another rejection.

I know my weight will be an issue, so I'm going to take the start of the year to try and get rid of some of the weight.

I'm on day 4 of slimfast. As of next week I'm swapping to a lower sugar, higher protein powder (same calories, fibre, vitamins and mineral). I'm doing a variant of the 1, 2, 3 plan. So 1 meal between 500 and 700 calories, 2 shakes and 3 snacks between 75 and 125 calories each day. Plus between 1.5 and 2.5 litres of water. I'm trying to keep carbs to a minimum for snacks, but I'm not being uber-strict about it. But so far I've been 100% on plan :)

I'll try and update here daily with how I've done.

Today I've had:
Shake for breakfast
Slimfast 90 Calorie porridge
Shake for lunch
Extra light cheese triangle, cucumber
Homemade chickpea and cauliflower curry with rice
Quark with kiwi and blueberries
1750ml water, 2 cups of tea, 25ml orange juice with 325ml water.

Hoping for another good day tomorrow!

I started Monday, but think I want Friday to be weigh day, as Monday mornings are just too hectic. So tomorrow I think I'll post my weightloss (hopefully it IS a loss!)
Weighed this morning and I'm 4lb down woop woop.

Got a bit distracted by husband being home and trying the new shake powder (which is soooo much nicer than slimfast!), so I forgot to drink any water or check the trains on the app before leaving the house. So I'm at the station earlier than I'd usually be, very thirsty and found that the train is late 😭 I've had to buy a bottle of water, something I loathe doing.

Anyway, it's Friday (Fri-YAY) and I've almost survived a full week at work after at least 4 short weeks! On track for the day, so I think it's gonna be a good one! Plus looks like it's going to be sunny 😊
Well done, 4lb off is a great start to the new you.
Have you set any short term goals or treats?
Holy smokes! what a year. You poor things.

Fantastic start, though. Onwards and downwards :)
MrsP - which brand shake are you using? My boss and I re sharing some leftover Cute chocolate powder, but I'm not impressed.
Thank you everyone :)

We've got a spa break booked in Feb with friends and a Citi break to Porto end of march for our anniversary, so I won't be following the plan then! Other than that going to try and get through to Easter without too much derailment. But one day at a time.

Ladyfelsham, I think it's MyProteinWorld, but I'll check when I get home from work and let you know :)
So today was mostly a good day, except that I haven't drank enough water - just 1.5l today.

Shake for breakfast, ham cucumber and a babybel as a snack, shake for lunch, missed second snack, turkey meatballs with med veg couscous for tea. Too full for 3rd snack right now, depending on what time I stay up until I may have some jelly or fruit later. To be honest though, I'm exhausted and have a very active 4 year old staying with us tomorrow so think it might be an early night. Might have a bath before bed though.

First Friday in a looonnnngggg time that I've not been drinking. Feels kinda weird. Most of the year I don't drink that much, but seems that throughout July and then from mid-November to early January I drink at least once a week 🙈
First Friday in a looonnnngggg time that I've not been drinking. Feels kinda weird. Most of the year I don't drink that much, but seems that throughout July and then from mid-November to early January I drink at least once a week 🙈

Preach. My husband earlier said 'it doesn't feel like a Friday'. I said 'no, probably because I'm sober...'
So today hasn't been as good as it could have been. I'm seriously under my water target and can feel that in my head and hunger!

I've also had a mince pie and a bar of chocolate (damn Christmas good still lurking in the cupboard!). Still better than a normal Saturday, which would have involved sausage sandwiches for breakfast, probably a takeaway for tea, and a large bar (family size) of chocolate rather than just a single bar. Plus we've got our 4 year old fosterling staying with us this week, he's like the Tasmanian Devil, so I've been on my feet all day. Hubby is coming down with the cold I've had since NYE so I let him have a 2 hour nap this afternoon and I was with little one on my own. Payback now as he's doing bath time 😂

Other than the choc and mince pie ive had my 2 shakes and an egg with lettuce as first snack. Pasta and chicken for tea once little one is asleep. Trying to get my water too!

Hope you've all had good days, both plan wise and an enjoyable day!
Well., good for you. It's all progress, and your transgressions are forgiven ;) Sounds like you've got quite enough on your metaphorical plate, my hugest respect :)
3am and the 4year old is wide awake 😴😴😴

He only stays once a month and it's only the 4th time he's stayed so he still doesn't know us that well so he's a bit upset. I've just had a little cuddle with him and now he's watching TV in bed. His main carer says to just leave the TV on and he'll go back to sleep on his own, but being in a strange house I don't think that's the case. So I'm now sat in the doorway of his bedroom hoping he'll get back to sleep soon so I can get back to bed! He no longer seems upset or scared at least. Bless him.

But whilst I'm awake waiting for him to go back to sleep, all I can think of is the leftover Christmas chocolate in the cupboard 😭😭😭
Oh poor thing! and poor you. I hope he settled.

Can your christmas leftovers be hidden? Give it to someone else to put somewhere else? out of sight, and all that?
Oh boy hope you both got back to sleep ok!

How about donating any goodies to a food bank? Then it's out of the house forever. I always think I'll be able to have bad stuff in the house and control myself but of course it never happens!
Unfortunately it's all opened so we can't donate it, but it is in a cupboard I don't go in often. Last night was just a prime example of how boredom leads to eating. I did resist, but I only wanted it because I was bored and it was there. So far I've only managed half a shake and 250ml of water. Not ideal. Dropping little one home soon so going to have a nap to catch up on some sleep and water and get back on track :)

Hope you're all having a good Sunday - what's everyone up to?