25 and just getting fatter and fatter! Please HELP me! Before Im double doors sideway

Discussion in 'Slimming World - Weight Loss Diary' started by Emma3334, 18 July 2013.

  1. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Hello anyone and everyone.

    Im starting a thread/blog thing in the hope that you lovely lot will help me to stick to plan.
    I don't know how many times I've cried over being fat, pretended I didn't care, "curvy" is cool - it may be but Im far from curvy! etc
    I'm sick of being the fat one of of my teeny tiny friends, not being able to try things on, picking up the size I think I may hopefully be, getting the "o the sizes may be small ill get the next size up too" and neither fitting!

    So Im currently 25, I was a slim teenager although sadly I never realised it, Ive always thought I was fat which is very sad looking back.
    I put on a weight as I got older but suddenly was 23 and 15stone 5. I was gutted and did the Cambridge diet getting down to 13stone in roughly 3 months. BUT it was hell and because I lost it so fast I never appreciated being thin (again!!) I then slowly put it all back on.

    I rejoined slimming world a month before turning 25 to discover I was 15 stone 10. I couldn't believe it and was so so upset - had an awful, useless consultant and only stayed a month ish, had no idea what I was doing and thought id just be fat forever.

    I moved house and decided to try again I joined roughly beginning of March this year.... at 16 stone 2.5! There were tears Im not going to lie. I went home and ordered nearly everything on the Chinese takeaway menu and cried while eating it. I then realised enough was enough. My new consultant is fab, young and has lost nearly 8 stone herself which gives me home.

    March - end of May I had lost 1 stone 11 and was pleased...
    I then went on holiday and had lots of serious family problems (excuses excuses) I put on 4 and a half and was ok with that, I deserved it, I was amazed it wasn't more... I then lost 3 and a half of it over the last 2 weigh ins, good, slow but good. THEN last week it all went wrong and I put 2 back on!

    I feel like im at risk of ruining it all and slipping back. Id got down to 14.6 but I think im now at 14.9. I go on holiday in 3 weeks time.... I so wanted to be in the 13s but I feel im more likely to be back in the 15s!

    Please someone, somehow help me.

    Thank you anyone that has taken the time to read this
  2. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Im getting weighed tonight, I thought id been good but I haven't - I had a naughty sunday and went to the pub and had parmo (northern thing) chips and shared a pudding!
    Since then Ive been good... apart from a cake that jumped in my mouth about an hour ago... I was casually forgetting about it but that's why Im still fat!

    Im feeling really sad today and don't know why, just feel like its all getting on top of me.
    Its boiling and everyone at work and friends are in causal summery things and I feel huge, want to wear my safe black clothes but then I look ridiculous, Im boiling and even sadder!
  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Emma,

    I was just reading your diary and I could identify with what you were saying...

    Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get into the 13's for the holidays as that often backfires...stick with the SW rules and you are bound to be a few pounds lighter at the very least.

    You are doing well and this is where you need to put your focus and not look back.

    Read the food diaries and weight loss diaries here for inspiration and to help keep you on track and I am sure with the help of your new consultant you will do well.

    I am sorry you are feeling sad...I feel sad as well on this hot day that I have not been able to stick with a diet in such a long time...I would love to be the weight you are now as I know I look a lot better at 14st 9lbs than at my current weight of 17st 3.5lbs...and I am sure there is someone reading this wishing they were my weight...which make me think that we should just focus on the now and do our best with today as yesterday is gone and tomorrow will look after itself.

    Good luck with weigh in tonight!
  4. goldiesnoops

    goldiesnoops Well-Known Member

    Re: 25 and just getting fatter and fatter! Please HELP me! Before Im double doors y

    Like you I've struggled with being downhearted when I put weight on one or two weeks in a row or keep losing and gaining the same couple of lbs and in a way I think weekly weigh ins can be bad for this, however average it out - even if you average a loss of 1lb a week over a year that's 52lbs!!! That's a lot to lose! Don't give up and realise that even a few bad or tumultuous weeks is a short space of time in your whole life - I've really had to drill these thoughts into my own head and it van be difficult to remember at times but keep going and don't beat yourself up too much!
  5. paulam10

    paulam10 Well-Known Member

    Hi Emma. Its like reading about myself when I read your post. I only joined slimming world 2 days ago and I'm feeling very sorry for myself today. My head is pounding and I'm just feeling horrible. I ate enough salad to feed a small country at lunch and I'm still hungry... Even though I know I'm not. I'm just quiet in work and I'm used to eating when I'm quiet. I'm going on holidays in 10 weeks and can honestly say I feel like I'm the size of an elephant but I'm going to be optimistic... I'm going to be down weight next Tuesday no matter what. Stick with it and don't give up. You have done great so far.
  6. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Hello you lovely people - Im so happy that you have taken the time to read and felt like commenting. Its given me such a boost knowing that there are people out there who are all feeling the same way!

    Mini - you are totally right no matter how rubbish we feel about our weight there will be someone that would kill to be it. Its just hard knowing that Id look and feel so much better and confident if I had less of it! I really thought this summer id of slimmed down with starting in March and maybe when I get to the 2 stone mark ill feel better as it seems like more of an achievement if that makes sense??

    Goldie - I know and I say this to friends when they are only losing a little or 2 steps forward one step back but its a lot harder when its you! lol silly isn't it. We are happy to mean these things to others and are genuinely pleased for them but apply the same to ourselves and suddenly it feels like rubbish.

    Paulam - You will go down. If you don't like salad or its making you feel crap then have something else! cold pasta or noodles? All free and filling and you still get to feel like youre eating loads. I had real trouble (and still do ) accepting that you can have free pasta and potato as all my dieting life Ive lived by the mantra that carbs are from the devil! But lovely constultant challenged us to eat as much as we wanted of them and that we would still lose weight - and we did! Its amazing it really is.
  7. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Well I went last night and I lost a pound - I was a little bit gutted but when I thought about what id eaten I was actually pleased really because I was naughty.

    I went home and had chicken breast stuffed with philly/lowlow and lazy garlic, wrapped in bacon with roast potato and sweet potato and a pile of spinach (raw cant stand it cooked) I know its not enough superfree but considering my sad mood yesterday it was well behaved.

    Later on as I was still in a twist and just wanted to eat, after walking to the cupboard opening and shutting it several times I avoided the fudge and mini popcorns and had a packet pasta thing instead. It was free. I was sat eating it thinking that mini fudge would of been 5 syns (I think) but this whole bowl of pasta is free and is so much more satisfying!

    Ive had a bacon sandwich on lightly toasted bread, spread with spicy lowlow and a heap of spinach for breakfast - no tea though as the bl**dy milk was off - has been since the 13th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cannot believe I A) haven't noticed and B) haven't been ill! Damn it I wouldn't of minded a teeny tiny bit of illness lol

    Ive got no lunch though which isn't good - ill have to go to Tesco so will try to be good x
  8. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Had quite and ok weekend actually

    Picked my bf up from the train station and hes been away for a while so he took me for tea. Instead of all our favourite naughty places we ended up at a Spanish place.

    I had mussels in a tomatoe sauce, then chicken breast with kind prawns, veg and some roast potatoes, there wasn't much sauce. Ive no idea on syns but im hoping they were sensible choices. I obv wanted the fried goats cheese starter!!! but resisted and didn't even look at the puddings!

    Saturday I had a big SW breakie of scrambled egg, beans and bacon with 1 piece of 400g loaf.

    Later in the day my mum was having this gorgeous looking tomatoe meatball readymeal from one of the finest range. I was going to share thinking its just tomato sauce but luckily I looked - roughly 25 syns for half the pack!!! So I made my own tomato sauce with passata, onions, garlic, chilli a small spoon of pesto and some quark was V hot but tastey!

    Ended up going out to the town on the night last min, I drank vodka and diet coke (which I don't like) so less syns and I drank less as I don't like them lol. The bf wanted a takeaway and I was good and ordered the grilled chicken pieces with a huge salad. I wasn't even jealous of his cheesey meal and the chips. Which is a HUGE step forward!

    Sunday I wasn't even hungover YESSSSSSSSSSSS I had hoops on toast but got confused with the bread and had 2 pieces of 800g loaf which was an annoying waste of syns. THen was busy painting rooms all day. Had a huge chicken dinner with leeks, cabbage, root mash, green beans and frylite roasties (few syns for gravy)
    Then later on had an orange, banana and greek mullerlight.

    All in all I don't think that's too bad considering how much I normally struggle on a weekend. Just hoping the Spanish meal wasn't too bad - what do people think?
  9. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    O I made the magic porridge pancakes this morning - they were nice actually. Made loads so I shared them which means I can have an alpen bar later!

    Our boss has just gone and brought in a load of cakes - must try to resist! Clearly work at a naughty place at the moment!
  10. paulam10

    paulam10 Well-Known Member

    The Spanish meal doesn't sound too bad at all. Well done. I was at a bbq on Saturday and ate way too much but I weighed myself this morning (i know I shouldn't) and it didn't seem to do any damage. I wasn't too bad but had burger with bun and cheese and then some pavlova. The rest was fairly ok... Prawns although the were marinated in oil and steak which was fine and loads of salad. I have never been as organised in my life as I am today with food. Yesterday I made home made turkey burgers, stuffed mushrooms and sweet potato wedges. That's what I have with me for lunch today. And I'm going to a friends house after work so I made an omelette with loads of veg to bring with me for my tea! I have a big box of chopped melon, pineapple, strawberry and raspberry in the fridge! Feeling very positive today and actually looking forward to weigh in tomorrow night. I think I'll try your tomato sauce recipe. It seems such a waste to use syns for pasta sauce!
  11. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

  12. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Paulam Hello! It didn't tell me youd commented :(
    The BBQ burger sounds lush - I did that a few weekends ago and it was lovely seemed like a real treat.

    Ive never had turkey burgers are they nice? People at my group have beef burgers with a babybel inside but my attempt wasn't too good they just fell apart.

    Wow youre super organised!! Very impressed!!!
  13. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    I haven't been too naughty over the last few days but was bullied into having a cake - I tried to chose wisely but theres only so wisely you can chose with a cake!

    Ive had breakfasts of scrambled egg and bacon one morning, then my bacon, spinach and spicy lowlow sandwich another day.

    I dunno what Ive had for lunches recently seems like I cant remember, yogurt and fruit I think. Cant of been anything exciting or naughty cos I would have remembered.

    I went out for tea on Monday night but ordered a steak with veg and potato and asked them not to put the free onion rings on as I knew Id eat them. My mum had steak pie, chips, gravy then pudding. I must admit I had a forkful of cheesecake but that was it!

    I made jambalaya yesterday tea and it was GORGEOUS!
    Chicken, quorn sausages, gammon, prawns, onions, green beans, leeks, peppers, tomatos and a small amount of chorizo but there was enough for about 8 people! (Ive got some for lunch today lol)

    In general Im feeling like I should have a good loss this week but my problem is fitting in the 1/3 superfree so I prob wont then ill feel **** then Ill eat lol. Im ridiculous!
  14. camz

    camz Well-Known Member

    Hey, I read your posts and it could literally be me writing them! I started slimming world at 13st 9, got down to 11st 7ish, and am now back up at 12st 3.5, I lost the plot and just binged for weeks, ended up nearly undoing all my hard work but think I've caught it in time I hope!!

    I look forward to keeping up with your diary, and how you do with your weight loss! Xx

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
  15. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    Hi Camz - it sort of makes things better when you find someone similar to you makes you feel less alone. Well done on catching it in time, wish Id done that when I re hit the 14s or even 15s but at least I caught it at 16s! O god sounds awful doesn't it.

    I had one of my friends complaining about being fat last night - shes put on a few lbs but is FAR from being overweight, I tried to explain that I knew how hard it was to struggle with your weight and the awful feelings that come with it. She kept saying that at least I was losing weight and I thought yes I am, Im actually doing something about it for once and that made me feel quite proud. But I bring her up because I always think so badly of myself in our group and how much bigger I am than all of my friends but you forget that other people have hang ups too and just because they are slim they will have part of them that they don't like too. In a way I guess we are sort of lucky as we can and are doing something about our weight.

    Wow I think that got a little deep lol.

    P.s cold jambalaya is nice !
  16. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member


    I feel like sh*t today.
    Huge argument with my bf last night, things just aren't great and I think we are calling time on the relationship, it would have been 4 years in October and we have been through a lot together. I'm devastated.
    I cried myself to sleep last night and was sick this morning.

    I don't know why Im writing this on here but I don't feel like I can face talking to anyone in person, I just want to go home get into bed and cry but instead im sat at my desk trying to think about anything but him as crying at your desk isn't really acceptable!

    Food - non
    Drinks - non

    Hey maybe ill be skinny soon after all lol x
  17. paulam10

    paulam10 Well-Known Member

    I feel so sorry for you. Is there any way you could work through it? There is nothing anyone can say to you to make it better only maybe talk to a friend who will understand. Try to go for a walk after work... I find it helps me to clear my head a bit and it might help you sleep tonight. You should try and even eat some fruit or something and make sure you are drinking water. I know how you feel and its horrible. I call it the break up diet. If things aren't going well between you though its better that it happens now than in 6 months time.
  18. Emma3334

    Emma3334 Well-Known Member

    I don't know, I feel like we are always giving it another go, neither of us have wanted to walk away and have always said we are worth fighting for. But it seems like its a losing battle and neither of us are happy. I just feel like a pathetic little girl asking what can I do to make you want me. Its ridiculous I know but I just want to feel loved.

    My friends are great but I feel like its all they hear, things are sh*t, things are great, things are sh*t.....

    Im sipping some water but just feel so sick that I don't want anything, like I think I said I was sick this morning and that's just put me off.
    Im getting weighed today then meeting a friend for tea (already arranged) was going to have steak, now feel like having nothing, will prob order something naughty then cry during it and after.

  19. paulam10

    paulam10 Well-Known Member

    At least you are meeting your friend to cry with. There is no point in staying with someone for the sake of feeling loved... I have been the exact same though. Think its the weight makes you feel you don't deserve to be loved and grateful to anyone who does love you. I've been single for a while now and finally learning to be happy on my own. Its better to be happy alone than be with someone and miserable. You deserve to be with someone who will love you without all the arguments and being happy then miserable. Life us hard enough with the right person by your side. Imagine how hard it would be to be with the wrong person and maybe have a mortgage and kuds and feel you couldn't walk away.
  20. susysu

    susysu Well-Known Member

    Hey Emma

    I'm just like you. Lose a couple of stone, start to feel better about myself, lose my way a bit and then it starts to creep on and before you know it i'm back where i started again. I'm back at my biggest weight, very similar to your start weight, so you inspired me when i saw your stats as i would love to be where you are now

    i was going to start back on sw myself at home but i think i could do with group for the tips, meal ideas etc otherwise i just end up eating the same omelettes, past etc so will aim to go back on tues or wed. i know it sounds stupid but i think i will start then as it would be a good boost to get a good first week loss at group rather that losing some before then

    i look forward to following your ongoing success, you've already done so well, you just need to go into your second phase. will have to pick up some tips from you if you dont mind :)

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