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A year in the life of a yo-yo dieter

Dear all,

I think I have found the place on mini-mins that I can call home.

I am perpetually starting diets only to fall off the wagon days or weeks later.

I started my first diet back in late 1998 when I weighed 11st 5lbs. I noticed I had been getting a bit tubby and was a size 14 needing to buy my next pair of jeans as a size 16, so read up on diets and went on a 1000 cals per day and lost 9lbs in 6 weeks, taking me to 10st 10lbs, which I think is my 'perfect'weight.

That marked the start of nearly 12 years of constant yo-yo-dieting and struggling with my weight.

Fast forward 12 years and I am - as of this morning 15st 1.5lbs (which is the heaviest I have ever been).

It hasn't helped me that clothing manufacturers have made clothes bigger over those past 12 years which has helped me stay in denial. I'm almost 4 stones heavier than I was in 1998 yet I am only a size 16, needing to go into an 18 (depending on shop).

Over the years I have done several diets, most frequent being calorie counting (anything between 1000 to 1500 per day), Slimming world, Weight Watchers, Paul McKenna, had a personalised hypnosis tape made, Cambridge Diet, Celebrity Slim and Lighter Life. The latter was the most successful (and most expensive!) and I got down to 10st 4lbs (having lost 3st 5lbs) only to put every single pound on within a year. I'd love to be able to do it again, but there's no way I would have the willpower. I did look really good though - and (back to clothes sizes again) at that weight I was a size 10 and in some shops, depending on style, I could get into an 8. I seem to be one of those people who looks slimmer than they weigh.

Trouble is that after 12 years I am sick to death of yo-yo dieting and I don't know how to break the cycle.

The batteries in my weighing scales ran out a few weeks ago and I thought: "Great, I'm gonna stop obsessing over the scales and just try to eat normally, when I'm hungry, smaller portions etc". So after three weeks I was keen to see how I had done. I didn't feel any slimmer but surely I must be? Nope. I'd put on half a stone without binge eating once. I truly do not have a clue what normal eating is.

So, here I am at 35. Highlight of my day is eating and once I have eaten I'm thinking ahead to what I can have next.I am just completely fed up.

So - I definitely feel like a WEMITT, and ideally I need to shift about 64.5lbs (but a minimum of 50lbs) and it seems like such a long slog ahead of me.

I've even been thinking about eating myself up a few stones more and then going cap in hand to the NHS begging for a gastric band! Yes, that's how desperate I feel. I reckon I could put another 4st on in a year, so why not put that energy to good use and try LOSE it in that time.

I use Weight Loss Resources to track my calories (laughs hysterically) and they recommend 1605 cals to lose 1lb per week but it seems like a lot to me, surely dieting is about starvation???? (joke)

I promise I will try and post everyday and let you know how I get on and perhaps support some of you on your threads?

Well done if you got this far
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Trying Hard!
Hi, welcome. looking forward to journeying with you.
am here and will promise hugs and support all throughout your journey....every journey starts with a single step, and its the most important step of all - starting

Day 3.

Well, so much for me posting everyday! This is what happens, I start with good intentions one day but then fall straight back off the next.

I think I am just addicted to instant gratification and cannot see the bigger picture. I know that my weight loss will take at least 1.5 stone (so at least three months) before anyone even notices so I think "why bother" and I know that I get a quick fix from eating the chocolate so I always choose that anytime.

What have I had to eat today?
Packet of Hula Hoops.
Tub of heinz 'at home' soup.
Tub of Muller Rice (apple) - the large one, not the snack size.
6 x biscuits (chocolate hobnobs and ginger nuts)
4 x mini ring doughnuts.
Bavarian Slice (cream iced slice)

I guess the saving grace is that I don't need to eat any tea tonight. I could if I wanted to, as eating when I'm not hungry has become a way of life, but am choosing not to (at the moment, it could change).

I did take some sachets of porridge into work for breakfast (I start work at 6am) but really didn't fancy it. I hate breakfast it's such a boring meal. I love sugary cereals but they don't fill me up at all and neither does toast (again, I love it). I hate porridge and weetabix but they just feel like wasted calories.
Day 5

Not brilliant food wise although over past couple of days but when I stepped on the scales today I had actually gone down to 15st exactly, which is 1.5lbs less than I was last week. Just think what I could do when I was really trying.

When my DS1 got his mobile phone, I put an old memory card of mine in it, and I was looking through the photos which are held on it the other day and found one of me looking really good. It was December 2007 when I had finished lighter life in the September. I was up to about 11st 7lbs, and feeling really depressed. I'd taken the photo to see how 'fat' I looked, and looking back now, I didn't look fat at all. I wish I could look like that again.

What did I eat yesterday?

1 x pot of muller rice (large pot, not snack size)
1 x mint club
1 x chocolate digestive.

Lunch was a takeaway, fish malasa in Naan with a side salad and a portion of chips (lush).

Didn't have to have any tea, but troffed a few wine gums through the evening.

That doesn't look too bad, but the takeaway was massive although I didn't eat all the naan. I felt really bloated all afternoon though and had a definite 7-months-pregnant belly. Thankfully I was wearing black so it wasn't as noticeable as it could have been (not that anyone would have said anything to me mind).

just wondered it you are following a plan specifically or doing your own thing - because if you take out your lunch yesterday, calorie wise you haven't eaten a great deal (and they are not "good" foods).

I've struggled for years with my weight and personally I know that if I eat, and I eat well, it is easier for me to lose weight, its when I pick and nibble that I tend to put it on.

hope you have a good day today

Hi Yo-Yo
You could be writing about me. For years I've dieted, lost weight and then put it on again and more. The last few years I've lost count of the times I've started a diet only to fail by lunchtime. I also looked into having a gastric band, but wasn't heavy enough:rolleyes: and seriously thought about putting on enough weight so I could have the surgery. Then I joined a slimming club on the recommendation of a friend and realised why I was so big. I don't eat because I am hungry, I eat when I am stressed, depressed, lonely, bored, etc., etc. Something has clicked and I am going to get the weight off and keep it off for good this time. Good luck with your journey - I'm sure you'll succeed.
Hello there ladies

Rach1974 - I started this as a kind of 'blog' however well at 'dieting' I am doing so as you will be able to tell, I haven't actually done a day's dieting since I started this diet. I'm just going to try and keep it up for a year. My preferred diet is calorie counting but at the moment although I know I need to lose weight, I just cannot face the thought of counting everything I eat so I am rebelling against myself.

Meltdown - I knew I wouldn't be alone on this forum. I hate it when people think it's so easy just to cut down and eat less and the weight will come off.

My eating habits waver between really good and healthy (dieting frame of mind) and unhealthy / excessive, when I'm not. At this moment in time I am seriously sick and tired of food and wish I didn't have to eat. The happiest I have been on a diet was when I did Lighter Life, because I didn't have to make choices and I knew all food was out of bounds and I actually enjoyed the taste of the shakes and they kept me 'satisfied', hunger wasn't an issue, and losing half a pound per day every day really spurred me on.

Today I have had motivation in two forms: My friend's daughter who is 30 has always been large (18-20, I reckon) but she went to live in Cyprus so I haven't seen her in a while. Anyway I found out today she has slimmed down to a size 14 by doing Slimming World. SW is a diet that has never worked for me so I am morbidly jealous.

Also seen a woman I don't like very much (wont go into reasons) but she has also lost some weight and looks good (not slim or skinny but noticeable) so again I am jealous - why can they do it but I can't? What has my willpower deserted me?

If you read back through your lighter life stuff they mention a bit about jealousy. And I know where you're coming from. Every time I see someone who has succeeded where I've failed (dieting wise) I get hugely jealous, and like you wonder why they can do it but I can't.

Why is it that you are rebelling against yourself? (again back to LL - Rebellious Child) There is something holding me back too and I fight it everyday. Also it may be that you just aren't in the right frame of mind?

It is not easy to lose weight - it's hard and although it may be a breeze for some people, for lots of us it is damn hard work, and actually a little bit lonely.

From what you've said, I don't think calorie counting is going to work for you as you have to be in control - so perhaps try something different like SW, there is no counting, just unlimited free foods, healthy extras and syns for the more pleasurable things. I've done both LL and CD and though have lost weight on them, they haven't really helped me tackle my relationship with food, and that's what we have to deal with once the diet is over.

keep posting honey...and I'm sorry if I've dished out the tough love to you.

Heh heh -just noticed the thanks button! (Shall be going back and pressing that).

I think I have had a good day today (ish). I've realised that I am actually a grazer rather than someone who likes to sit down and eat big meals however saying that I am someone who can still polish off mountains of food so I really do think I need to learn some portion control. I have small, medium and large dinner plates and today I went for the medium one.

DS1 bought some popcorn from the shop today but it was salted and he didn't like it so gave it to me. I was all excited as a massive 60g bag was only 265 calories!!! I only managed to eat half of it before DS2 nabbed the rest though.

Throughout the day I was busy cleaning so just opened a pre-pack plastic punnet of watermelon and snacked on that.

Went to the pub for two hours and had two cans of full-sugar coke.

Had roast lamb, brocolli, cauli, 3 x Yorkshire puddings and carrot / mashed potato together with gravy for tea.

Packed a healthy breakfast and lunch for tomorrow:
60g Tesco Light choices Muesli

Fruit salad (apple, raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, cherries and grapes) to snack on through the day.

Beef salad (lettuce, tomato, celery, cucumber, peppers, beef and a bit of grated cheese and mayonnaise).

Changed my usual supermarket (Morrisons) and went to local farm shop and Tesco got lots of lean meat, fresh fruit and veg and BBQ type food.

Feeling quite motivated at the moment.

I just can't see that I will ever have a good relationship with food although I am sure I must have done at one point. I love eating and it is a hobby. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't go out that often, don't have lots of money to spend on nice things. Junk food is so cheap, you get that instant hit, it passes the time (honest).

Also when I was younger my parents didn't have much money, so when they bought "nice" food, they would hide them and eke them out. Let us have one biscuit per day, never give us money to go to the shop etc... So I think once I started earning my own money and I could be in control of what I spent it on (ie food)

Even at school, they couldnt' afford for me to be school dinners, so I would have to take a packed lunch, and it was always the same bloody thing while the school dinners and puddings looked so good, I was always jealous of people on dinners.

Even though now I have access to everything I want, I still want to 'smash and grab'.
Those are the only things I can think of.
Day 8

Motivated again. Apart from the above, I had a few small flapjack and chocolate caramel pieces that someone had brought in for their birthday. I did not, however, have a breakfast butty or a lunchtime takeaway.

Got weighed today and have lost 0.5lbs since last week. Not brilliant but hey as you can see I only started dieting yesterday.

For tea tonight - 2 x small salmon fillets marinated in something or other, 50g oven chips, salad and mayonnaise.

Breakfast: 60g muesli, 100mls semi skimmed milk

Snacks: Fruit salad (raspberries, strawberries, cherries, grapes, satsuma, apple).

Lunch: Crudites and hoummous.

Had a walk up to town and back (10 mins each way - half a mile or so) which is something I have got out of the habit of doing.
Day 9

Not too brilliant. There was a birthday at work (the last one until the end of August). So I had an egg custard and about 3 mini choc-chip muffins. Didn't have my breakfast but ate my fruit salad and healthy lunch.

When I got home I had 2 x mini gingerbread biscuits and 4 scotch pancakes.

"Because I wanted them"

I now have to lie down on the bed to zip and button up my biggest pair of jeans.

Dinner is pasta, chicken & Bacon in a creamy tomato Dolmio sauce so I will just watch my portion size.
Hey yo-yo,

Hows it all going?

Im sure you will crack it and you obviously want it so its just a matter of getting your head into it, Whatever your feeling, remember you are not alone in this, we all have bad days, weeks etc but with the support on here its possible, Im just coming out of a rebelious stage and if it wasnt for some people on here I would probably still be at that stage

Hi Nee, thanks for the message.

I've decided - as someone earlier suggested - to retry Slimming World. I really cannot face counting calories or points again, and I want to try and eat healthily and steer clear of rubbish, meaning plenty of fruit & Veg, so SW seems to be the answer. There is a class tomorrow evening so I will go to that and start on Friday.

Had to bite the bullet and buy a new pair of jeans today - size 18! As much as I love the sweets and cake stuff I do not want to be a heifer for the rest of my life and it does me no favours.

First goal - neighbour's wedding on 25th September which is 60 days including today (8 weeks, 4 days). Surely a stone loss would be possible in that timeframe?
Hi Nee, thanks for the message.

I've decided - as someone earlier suggested - to retry Slimming World. I really cannot face counting calories or points again, and I want to try and eat healthily and steer clear of rubbish, meaning plenty of fruit & Veg, so SW seems to be the answer. There is a class tomorrow evening so I will go to that and start on Friday.

Had to bite the bullet and buy a new pair of jeans today - size 18! As much as I love the sweets and cake stuff I do not want to be a heifer for the rest of my life and it does me no favours.

First goal - neighbour's wedding on 25th September which is 60 days including today (8 weeks, 4 days). Surely a stone loss would be possible in that timeframe?
Good luck with SW Im sure you will enjoy it, hope the meeting goes well today, make sure you post to update.

think a stone is definately do-able in that time xx
Oh no, really embarrassed but I can't go tonight....I'd forgotten - when I wrote the above - but today is our 10th wedding anniversary and DH suggested we go out for a family tea. He doesn't finish work until 6pm so it's doubtful we'll be back in time for the 7:30pm class (although if I am wrong, I will definitely go to class). however in the meantime between now and next week I will definitely try the SW way of eating, trying to use the SW board on here to find out syns, hopefully someone will take pity on me for a week?


Amusing Title.
not sure how you would feel about it but my local GP issue slimming world vouchers so u can go for free x
Found you! *stalker*

Not sure what the WEMITT part of minimins is about, but it seems nice and cosy :)

Yo-yo, you sound like me also! Started dieting at 10st, and have ended up going up to over 16st!

When I met you in 2006, I was at my biggest.

Come on chicky, lets do it! xx
Hey Divvy, I don't ever recall you being big! I'm the biggest I have ever been right now.

WeMITT is you and me! this is the last time we will be on a diet because "We Mean It This Time"!

Pretty Paula - I didn't know that GP's give out SW vouchers. I may look into it but can afford to go at the moment.

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