Accepting "smaller" losses

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by SerenityValley, 3 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. SerenityValley

    SerenityValley Surgically happy.

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    A few days ago, I posted after being hugely disappointed with my loss for the week. I let it spoil a wonderful day - where I should have been celebrating that I was in the "15's" for the first time in 12 years. I should have been celebrating having lost 108lbs in 2008.

    I had a bit of a wobble - even semi-seriously deciding that I would only give this programme 2 more weeks. I'm quite all or nothing really - when things go badly, I get very down and very worried (I am permanently worried that next week might be bad).

    So I had to think about my plans, and my targets. I've been aiming to get down to 13 and a half stone by the end of february, and then starting RTM.

    I've decided that I need to accept I'm not going to finish by the end of Feb and as such, I may as well adjust my target. I've decided instead, I'll be aiming for 12 and a half stone (with a possibility that I'll adjust that top 11st 11lbs, which would be a nice healthy weight, and would also mean I'd have lost 11st 11lbs).

    Drinking water is proving hard - it's horrible, tasteless stuff. I'm drinking coffee most days, have had to use some of the powders just to get going again (I try not to rely on them as I am convinced they slowed down my weightloss for 4 weeks). I may even try to get the boullion savoury drinks.

    I'm not enthused, I'm not in a place where I am excited, but I am in a place that I think is stable. It's such a long time - I crave and think about food all the time, and don't feel I get much benefit from the counselling sessions. So every week gets a little harder.

    But anyway, I'm looking at the positives, I haven't lapsed despite a lot of very emotional rubbish the last 2 months. I have lost a good amount of weight, and my life should be healthier, happier and longer.
     
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  3. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    It's great that you've taken charge of ur situation Andy. Well done. You know you beat yourself up far too much when you havent done as well as you can do. So it is really good that you can reassess this in a more positive way.

    Look forward to seeing you reach your goals in 2009.

    B x
     
  4. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    I applaud you for realising all this and taking charge Andy, it's a great start to the year to get that feeling of control.

    Accepting smaller losses, I think, is vital - it is almost a certainty that some weeks, losses will be small, and other weeks, they will be relatively big, it's just the way it goes; beating youself up about a smaller loss won't help, as it is almost entirely out of your control (beyond sticking to the packs 100% of course); your body will lose as much or as little as it wants to each week.

    Sometimes it needs a rest, and sometimes it seems to be sprinting for the finish line.

    Right from day 1, I've told myself that so long as I lose something I'm doing it right, and it's helped me :)
     
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  5. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    Hi Andy,

    I think you have done amazing! Can't believe how much weight you have lost, and the fact that you haven't even lapsed ...... not even a little one - how amazing is that!

    You'll be reaching your goal very soon, and look forward to seeing some goal pics.

    Louale x
     
  6. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Hi Andy

    I'm glad you have become "more stable" in your attitude. The lack of food does make this diet all "in the head" but I found that after 6 months abstienence and nearing goal I could only think of food - I was obsessing about it.

    I must admit I hated Developers - in the end I had to treat each meeting as a means to an end - I didn't get anything out of them at all except a brief chat with the few friends from my group that hadn't already moved onto RTM. Eventually I went into maintenance before I was ready (mainly for reasons beyond my control) and it was the worst thing I could have done.

    Sometimes you need to switch your brain off so to speak and just accept that these things take time, you can't make your body lose weight any faster than it's going to - no matter how much you want it (and in my case felt desperate for it). In my case I knew that it was my only option, giving up at that point would have meant being out on my own again - with food - with likely weight gain rather than loss. And that was exactly what happened to me when I moved and couldn't attend a group.

    Keep going, no matter how hard it is. You have hit the nail on the head - you are building a happier and healthier future and that's what matters :)
     
  7. catznolan

    catznolan nearly there!! :)

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    hey hunni.

    well done for changing ur out look, u have lost so much weight, pre ll and ll and ur body is thinking flipping hell at times and needs time to catch up.
    ull get through it, and will reach ur goal, and i do think ls is right, that ull know when its time for rtm!! xxx
     
  8. SerenityValley

    SerenityValley Surgically happy.

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    Thanks folks, love to you all (and a manly handshake for Pete).

    It's pretty scary really - it was easy to go into as I thought at first it was just 14 weeks. Obviously as I found out more, that idea was adjusted but in my head I was already committed.

    I used to tell everyone who asked, that it was easy (people say things like "it must be really hard") and I think telling them that it is easy, was a defense mechanism - the actual losing of the weight is easy, the sticking to it is not. The only reason I think I have not lapsed, is because I am so all or nothing about things. In my head, I am sure that if I lapse even a tiny bit, then I will be unable to get past that. That's a fairly powerful incentive.

    I need to list a few of the things that are keeping me going or that I am looking forward to, that being slim will either bring me, or give me a chance at, but will do that another time. I think it's easy to sometimes forget just how many benefits I hope for, from being slim.
     
  9. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    You're right about one thing - in many respects it is easy - yet in others it's oh so hard.

    I've mentioned a couple of times on other threads that when I did it first time round I had a handwritten diary that I wrote in everyday. The prompt to restart again came from re-reading those diaries just a few weeks ago. What became blatantly clear to me whilst reading those was the conflict of emotions I underwent everyday. I looked back at that time and thought, god that was easy but every diary entry documents a mental struggle, the easy part was not making a decision about food, looking in the mirror and starting to see "me" emerge, accepting the compliments and the knowing that I would achieve this because I was too stubborn to fail!

    Well done on what you have achieved so far and an even bigger well done on what you are going to achieve, because I don't think there is any doubt that you will!!!
     
  10. vintella

    vintella Full Member

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    hey andy
    just wanted to say its great to read your doing better
    your new outlook is very inspirational

    ella x
     
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